Rule Britannia!
"The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation." Oh, how the mighty have fallen...
Instructor: Class, today we're going to learn teatime safety practices. Now, this is a
university-level course, so you will be expected to pay attention.
Student A: *raises hand*
Instructor: Yes?
Student A: Isn't this kind of dumb? Nobody "takes tea" anymore.
Student B: Yeah...this smells of a high society plot to reinforce outmoded and decaying social institutions.
Student C: Isn't it also somewhat patronizing to think that we don't know how to handle hot liquids and their containers?
Instructor: Well, do you?
Student C: Of course we do!
Epilogue:The Instructor went on to write and administer the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation, making thousands of pounds by exploiting what could only with excessive generosity be described as the "carelessness" of modern Britons. Students A, B, and C all suffered from scaldings on separate occasions and now are in therapy for apprehensions toward teapots and biscuits. When the Joshalonian Imperial Olympic Team arrived in the UK for the 2012 Olympics, the British surrendered immediately. HRM The Queen was kept on as a figurehead. The minimum biscuit consumption age was raised to 35 for public health reasons.
