OK, I've got a frustration to
own all frustrations. I am more angry right now than I possibly have ever been in my entire life. I was helping my friend move into a new apartment, which had been going on all day (my day already sucked for the previous mentioned reasons). It was 1:00 AM in the morning and we were finally done unpacking pretty much everything. I took him to the store to get some food and then came back and helped him unpack that. The last time I was inside his place was less than
ten minutes. My girlfriend and I leave his place to find my car being towed. I said - "What the hell man, we were inside for less than ten minutes. This entire parking lot is empty except for our car." and Bob the Towing Guy (yes, that's his name) says "You got 160 bucks on ya?" which threw me off. I said, "Yeah, I just carry 160 bucks on me all the time, what kind of asshole question is that?". Then he mumbles something under his breath a few times and I said "What was that?" he goes "You want it to be an extra 40 bucks?" and I go "what the hell are you talking about? You just said 160." and he goes "if you don't straighten out your tires it is an extra 40 bucks".
Now, at this point I'm already seething pissed, but my hippy friend does not have a car and both me and my girlfriend live several miles away. It is freezing outside. I go "look man, don't be a dick, we are stranded here and we have no way to get to the impound lot". He goes "oh well, better start walking" and drives off. We had to call a cop to give us a ride there. By this time I am more angry than I have ever been, and it takes a
lot to piss me off.
What followed was perhaps the meanest I have ever been to another human being. And I don't even feel bad about it, which is strange for me. I've preserved the conversation with Bob the Tow Truck Guy at the impound lot below for hilarity purposes. It is pretty much word for word, so
WARNING: Anyone that doesn't like extreme vulgarity on my behalf shouldn't read it. I shit you not, this is literally what I said to him as best as I remember it, and it was a half hour ago so it is fresh in my mind. For visual purposes, Bob is a fat white trash fucker that was chain smoking cigarettes throughout the entire conversation.
chrono eric: Hey asshole, thanks to you two douchebags stranding my girlfriend and I we had to call a cop to give us a ride.
Bob the Tow Truck Guy: Not my problem. You gonna pay credit?
chrono eric: No, cash. And fuck you man, how would you feel if that happened to you? It's freezing outside.
Bob the Tow Truck Guy: *mumbles something incoherent while smoking his cig*
chrono eric: And let me ask you a question you fat fuck, when I came out you told me it was $160 bucks, but then you told me it would be $200 if I didn't straighten my tires. So presumably if I didn't come out and came here I would owe you $200? We both know that's bullshit. You made up that amount on the spot.
Bob the Tow Truck Guy: That's how much it costs.
chrono eric: Now, I can tell by just looking at you that you probably don't have a degree in Economics or anything, but perhaps you could explain to me why it costs 160 fucking dollars to tow my car literally two miles down the road?
Bob the Uneducated Tow Truck Guy: I dunno. I ain't got no degree.
chrono eric: That's bullshit, man. That's highway robbery. You are price gouging and you know it. What are you spending the extra money on drugs or something? Meth perhaps? No you're way too fucking fat for that.
Bob the Asshole: What city and state do you live? (he's filling out the paperwork right now)
chrono eric: Really? Did I overestimate you? Are you really much more stupid than I originally thought? Where the fuck do you think I live? You have my driver's liscense which is a Texas drivers liscense. Can you not read?
Bob the Businessman: I got my money now take your car.
-my girlfriend chimes in at this time after remaining silent throughout the whole conversation-
chrono eric's hot mexican girlfriend: I really don't appreciate you leaving us stranded in the freezing cold. It's 1 AM, there's no one we could call except the police. You're a real nice guy, you know that?
chrono eric: She's being sarcastic, she thinks you're an asshole too. Just thought I'd let you know.
Bob the Mute: -dead silence while he tokes his cig-
chrono eric: (in a real sarcastic tone) So listen buddy, you're a real piece of shit you know that? We're gonna leave now but you go fuck yourself, alright? Oh, and here's some life advice for you (I point at his cig) - those things will fucking kill you, you know?
Bob the Smoker: No kidding?
chrono eric: Yeah but if I was you I'd probably wanna off myself as fast as possible anyways. Piss off.
Bob the Businessman: Yeah well at least I've got your money
chrono eric: Yeah well fuck you. At least I've got my dignity.
I think he was scared of me.
Note @ Zeality: Beware Bob's Towing in Denton man, that fucker will rip you off something fierce.