Author Topic: My fanfic...  (Read 2287 times)

Legend of the Past

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« on: July 05, 2005, 05:30:09 am »
Well, I'm from Israel, so I wrote my fanfic in hebrew... Did about 8 chapters+Prolouge, though only the Prolouge is translated. If you'll like, I'll continue the fanfic...  

Prologue: The silence before the storm

Viper Manor was the heart of the enchanted El-Nido Archipelago. It was a large and impressive mansion on the outside, and even more on the inside. It marked Lord Viper's control over the archipelago, a beloved lord, respected and fair, that was known as one of the best rulers of the archipelago. And his army, the Acacia Dragoons, was considered to be one of the most powerful armies, for among it's men walked heroes. And two of them were brothers, one called Dario, the leader of the four Devas, the greatest soldiers of the Dragoons, and the other was his younger brother, Glenn. Orphaned from their father, but heroes in their own name. Yet Glenn sat in his older and more respected brother's shadow, for in his young age he could only join as a private. But what made him and his brother unique, was that they were both able to wield the the sacred Dragon sword, the Einlanzer. That was a sword powerful beyond belief, considered to be the only sword capable of defeating the cursed sword, the Masamune. But Dario himself was not clean of sin: He held the Masamune sword, the same sword that slew his father, Garai, and it's enmity drove him mad, and made him attack his best friend. He fell off the island where his father was buried due to his friend retaliation, and was found by a kind-hearted woman who treated his wounds... But the Masamune returned to his hands... And none know who defeated Dario with the cursed sword in his hands. That was the mystery.

"Why won't you join us?"

Glenn smiled, showing his brother he agrees, and the two walked together and sat along with the Devas.

"So, Glenn," Said Karsh with a small smile. "I heard the General promoted you to Riddel's new body-guard."

Riddel was General Viper's beautiful daugther, and his old fiancee. But the Masamune prevented them of their marrige, causing Dario to lose his memory after the sword left his hand. But once his sanity was regained, so was his love for Riddel, and the two lovers decided to marry at the right moment.

"Yes." Replied Glenn with an embarced smile. "I hope I can do the task well."

"You will, Glenn." Said Dario with an encourging smile. "You are my brother. The blood in our veins is the same. If I could protect her, so can you."

"You may have competition for the job of Grandmaster, Dario." Chuckled young Marcy.

Dario laughed heartily and clapsed an hand on Glenn's shoulder.

"They coulden't have found a better man for the job." He said, watching a smile spread on his brother's lips.

But their laughter stopped at the sound of a frightened yell. Two Dragoons, one short and fat, and the other tall and thin, ran into the dining room. These were Solt and Peppor, two brothers who were members of the Acacia Dragoons. They were Karsh's apprentices, abd were always given missions with him.

"S,Sir Karsh! Sir Karsh!" The two called, running into the dining room, bumped into each other, turned around, and ran, each in different directions, to Karsh.

"What is it, Solt, Peppor?" Asked Karsh calmly.

Those two always exaggerated in everything. Though this time, they didn't exaggerate.

"Sir Karsh!" Called Solt. "I'm shaking in my boots to tell you this..."

"...But the Einlanzer shook away from it's shrine in Termina city!" Peppor completed his brother's sentence.

"What?!" Asked Karsh and jumped off his seat. Zoah and Marcy looked at them, all their attention directed at them, while Glenn and Dario too jumped off their chairs and stood in front of Solt and Peppor.

"What happened to the Einlanzer?!" Asked Dario, enraged.

"It's disappeared from Termina, Sir Dario!" Called Peppor in panic.

"No one has a shaking idea where it is!" Continued Solt.

"Who would want to take the Einlanzer?" Asked Glenn, calmer then his brother, yet no less disturbed.

"The Shrine Master, the exorcist, Greco," Continued Peppor. "Heard someone say something at night."

"Something about fate." Completed Solt.

"What does fate have to do with this?" Asked Karsh with a disturbed look.

"No," Said Solt. "He said he heard as if it was someone, or something."

"He also spoke of the Sea of Eden." Said Peppor. "And then of fate again."

"The Einlanzer... was taken..." Said Dario, the idea finally sinking into his mind. "What could happan... if it fell into the wrong hands...?"

ZeaLitY

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« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2005, 01:01:26 am »
I've got to get the FF section up and running, so hold out I guess.

Lordchander

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« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2005, 06:17:17 am »
I like it, the story i mean.


~LC

V_Translanka

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« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2005, 08:23:16 pm »
*someone delete this please*

Ryuusai

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« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2005, 02:02:18 am »
Hey Legend, I just got to reading your story.

I must say I like it so far.

Also I think you got Solt and Peppor down pretty good.

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« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2005, 06:48:12 am »
Alright, I haven't read it yet (I saw that Solt & Peppor were in it and got frightened away, sorry)...but had to comment on what Ryuusai said...

How can you not get Solt & Peppor down? They're so one dimensional it defies all logic that they have 3D models.

Ryuusai

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« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2005, 11:14:12 am »
I have seen some stories that do not have them down and it is horrible.  Corse they don't have any of the characters down...

Still Legend I like your story.

Legend of the Past

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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2005, 12:41:40 pm »
Chapter 1: Closing the diary

Two girls sat inside the hut in the edge of the contient of Medina. The hut was small and perhaps a bit shabby, but was a home and shelter from the winter that will soon arrive. From the walls hung swords, bows, daggers and maces, all decorated and masterfully done. A stairway in the center of a room led to a basement which was full of tools for forging weapons such as hammers, screw-drivers, nails and a small anvil, set beside a fireplace.  But the focus of our tale takes place not in the basement, but rather in the room above it and the two girls who sat there.

The two were completly alike, if it was not for their outfits and hair styles. One of the two was dressed in a beautiful white dress, her long hair spread across her back like a golden waterfall. The other was dressed in a red skirt, a white blouse and a red coat above it.  On her left hip was a small scabbard and inside it was a dagger made of a stone that shined like the rainbow. On her face were two white lines of paint, as if to mark her wild nature. Her hair was in a long  rope that went down her back. However the similarities were still uncanny: Both had beautiful golden hair, eyes as blue as the sky in the most beautiful day, and both had a natural, undeniable beauty. Except the girl in the white dress had a gentle beauty, while the girl in red had wild and powerful beauty.

"Oi, Schala, why are ya hogging all the pages?" Asked the girl in red. "I wanna write too, ya know."

"Patience, Kid." Replied Schala with a small smile. "I have much to tell him."

"Oi, what do you know about him?" Asked the girl, Kid, bluntly. "He just saved you. He's been through thick and thin with me, her just needs a strong enough blow to the head to remember."

Schala shook her head.

"Give me a few more minutes." Said Schala. "Then, I shall give you your half."

Kid sighed and fell on the sofa. She drew her Dagger and cleaned it with a piece of paper for several minutes, until Schala put down her pen and placed her diary on the table.

"There." Said Schala, then got up and streched.

"Finally." Said Kid and grabbed the diary.

She straightened herself to a sit, and wrote a few sentences in the diary. After a few minutes of writing, she placed down her pen and called out to Schala:

"That's how ya write. Straight and to the point."

   Schala took the diary and checked what Kid wrote.

"Well, you didn't pay enough time to your writing..." Said Schala pettily.

"Ah, suddup, little princess." Said Kid with an annoyed tone.

The two then smiled to each other, and sat on the sofa together.

"I'll start reading." Said Kid, and Schala nodded in agreement.

"My dear friend who will probably never read this,

How are your affairs? I sincerly hope you are well and happy, although the result of your deeds. So much time has passed, and I wonder, how are your and your beloved live, now that your your life are in your hands and no one decides how you should live your lives, except for yourselves. I hope even more that what you and Kid, as well as all your many friends have done, will not cause another dark consequence. Just like the first Chrono Trigger's actions have changed my fate, I hope the fate of others has not changed due to your actions. But I am sure that if you would remember  you would of been proud in your deeds just liked I know Kid is.

And yet, sometimes I wonder...

What was the start of all this?
When did the cogs of fate begin to turn?
Perhaps it is impossible to grasp that answer now,
from deep within the flow of time...

But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

Yet even then we ran like the wind
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...

Always your friend, ally and forever in your debt,

Princess Schala "Kid" Zeal."

"That's not bad, Schala." Said Kid with a smile, when she raised her eyes from the dairy.

"Thank you." Said Schala. "I will read yours now."

"How are ya, mate? Though you'll probably never read this, I'm still writin'. I feel like an idiot, writing to someone and never sending the letter. But Schala says we're writin' to you, to the "real" Serge, the Serge I fought with, the Serge I learned to call me mate. And though Schala won't let me meet ya, she keeps saying my arrival will trigger far too many memories for your heart to bear, I still want to see you again. I promised ya, the last time we saw each other, that I'll find ya. And I will. One day, I'll find you again, Serge. Because I owe you me life, and more then once.

Always waiting for ya, and always praying to see ya again, Kid Ashtear (I took Lucca's last name."

"That's a lot like you, Kid." Said Schala with a thin smile. "And you're right. Your emotions for him are probably greater then  mine. For me, he's a savior. For you, he's the best friends, who risked his life for you."

Kid nodded and the two sat silently for a moment, until the door to the hut was slammed. Into the hut stepped an old man in glasses, with a short white beard, wearing a teal suit.

"Hello, Master Melchior." Said Schala with a pleasent smile.

"Hello, Princess Schala." Answered the old man, Melchior.

"Hi, Melchior." Said Kid.

"Hello, Kid, my dear." Replied Melchior. "I've something to tell you two."

"About what?" Asked Schala.

""About..." Said Melchior and turned his look to Kid. "El-Nido Archipelago

"About Serge?!" Asked Kid and jumped off the sofa.

"No." Said Melchior. "Though he might become connected to this."

"What happaned, Melchior?" Asked Kid.

"The Einlanzer was stolen." Said Melchior.

"Wait, stolen?" Asked Kid. "Like the Masamune was stolen from Guardia, fifteen years ago?"

"In different conditions." Said Melchior heavily. "And probably by a different person. But, yes."

"And Serge is connected..." Said Schala quietly, quickly understanding. "because he's the Masamune's new master."

"Mastermune." Kid corrected her.

"Master...?" Asked Melchior. "Has Doreen awakened?!"

"Aha." Nodded Kid with a smile.

"The Masamune has become greater, then." Said Schala with a wide smile. "And if someone were to use the Einlanzer for evil purposes, Serge could stop him."

"But not easily." Said Melchior. "If he were to touch it... Much of his memory is to be regained."

"And his heart might not bear so much memories..." Said Schala sadly.

"No!" Kid cried out. "Serge's heart is strong! He's been through terrible things, and he was still able to go into that... place you were in, and save you! He can take it!"

"I hope..." Said Schala. "But the Mastermune is lost in the Tesseract. How will we obtain it?"

"We will find a way." Said Melchior. "But now, let us be on our way, to El-Nido!"

Schala closed the journal, and smiled warmly at Kid.

"We might just meet him, Kid." Said Schala.

"Yeah." Said Kid. "Don't worry, mate, we'll come to you. Even if we have to cross the entire bloody world along the way! We'll get to you, to El Nido!"

Legend of the Past

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« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2005, 05:55:16 pm »
Chapter 2: The tides yet turn...

The eighteen year-old boy was sitting on the dock, watching the small children swiming and enojying the sun and water. That morning had been perfect for complete relaxation, and the fishing in such a fair weather was more annoying then difficult; the temptaion of lazying about the village was unresistble to his still somewhat childish mind, and he had fished just enough for the meals of that day. The name of that boy was Serge, and the name of the place where this story takes place was Arni Village. Arni was a small village on the southern outskirts of the central island of El-Nido, south from the large city of Termina. Serge's hair was wild and blue, and the only thing that made his hair look decent was the red bandana that almost always had covered it, masking the messy hair from the eye.His eyes were as blue as the sea, and his face seemed young, subtracting a year or two from his looks. He was only just above the average height of the young men his age around Arni village. Serge was still considered a man, though; he had passed the age fifthteen and has taken upon hismelf the task of providing for his mother and himself, and the life in Arni and the years of experience and made him a masterful fishermen and seaman. He had worn in most times (and this was no exception) short blue pants and a black shirt. Above the shirt he wore a coat of mail, which, being rusted and old, provided him no defence. He had not needed it; he had lived a quiet life in Arni with all his friends, and his best of friends, Leena. On that morning he had awaited her, for he promised to take her to Opassa Beach. A thing he had promised with much difficulty, for his two visits in that beach were harsh on his soul: In one visit, of ten years prior to that day, he had nearly drowned. And in the second visit, done only several monthes ago, he had fainted for a reason unknown to him. Leena excused the latter as trauma from his prior visit, and told him he had to get over his fear.

"Hey, Serge!" Called a voice behind him.

Serge turned his gaze about, and noticed Leena, waving at him. He smiled and waved back, then stood up and walked towards her. Leena was a year younger then Serge, and only a head short of his heighet. She wore a brown-blue dress, her hair a long clash between brown and red, covering her neck like heavy curtain and to the opinion of all she was the most beautiful girl at the village. Not once had Serge heard of plans of having him wed to Leena, that made him a bit uneasy but still gave a pleasent feeling. Having known people had attributed him for the future husband of the fairest girl in the village was nice, and as close as he was to Leena, during the first years of adolescence her presence has haunted his dreams. They were best friends, and Serge had almost hoped they were unofficaly more, and he had recieved the feeling Leena felt the same way. Still, they never had the time to openly discuss this and Serge had hoped that the time on the beach would be one in which he could speak to Leena of this. In fact, that was the sole reason he accepted Leena's demand to ask her to come to the beach.

"Sorry if I made you wait," Apologized Leena with a smile.

"It's okay." Replied Serge and returned a smile. "Shall we go?"

Serge and Leena left the village together and headed east, to the small area known by the villagers as "The Lizard Rock". It was a portion of ground that collapsed from the north and gave access to Opassa Beach. It became the breeding grounds for reptilian creatures, due to the amount of water there. Serge walked with a weapon tied to his back, a weapon he had used to to drive off the creatures nearby the village. It was a tool he invented and forged, and was in fact rather simple in desgin. It was called a 'Swallow'. It was a staff with a blade in each end, and while a simple weapon to the eye, it was a quick and powerful tool in the hands of a skilled user. After several years of training with this weapon Serge had learned to wield it with both skill and speed, although he had found using the swallow extermly easy in the last few monthes, although his swallow of bone and wood had disappeared. He had, after a very long day of searching, managed to regather the materials needed to build a new Swallow, and managed at last to build a new one. Lizard Rock was rather empty that day, which was somewhat colder and more pleasent then most spring days, except for some of the smaller lizards, who fled at the sight of the two. After about ten minutes of walking the two had reached the beach. Leena had sat on the sand, while Serge was walking around for a bit (Trying to hide a bit of fear from Leena) and sat down at her side.      

"See there was no need to be scared?" Asked Leena with a small smile, as if she proved to Serge she was right on a very complicated matter.

"I wasn't afraid..." Said Serge silently. "It's just this place gives me... bad luck."

"You don't have any bad luck," Said Leena, and Serge had to stop himself from saying that it was thanks to him coming here so rarely. "You just had a bad experience you're making a huge fuss about. I can't understand why you let it get to you."

"I don't know," Said Serge, allowing himself to fall back and lay on the sand. "But I've got a strange feeling about this place..."

Serge closed his eyes, feeling the sunlight trying to force it's way through his closed eye-lids. He slipped into an odd sleep...

Serge was looking at...himself? Oddly enough, he was looking at two Serges, standing in a chamber filled with stone. The two moved in a circle around a pedestal, each giving the other a look filled with the deepest hatred. One of them was holding a Swallow with golden, wave shaped blades, and the other held a white, magnificant sword, filled with markings and ancient runes. The two continued to walk in a circle for several more moments until they finally ran one at the other, their weapons clashing. The two blades glew as they made contact, and began vibrating powerfully in their respective master's hands. They jumped back, then met once more, sparks flying off the twovibrating weapons. They seperated again,but this time the sword-wielding Serge waved his hand to the center of the room and the other jumped up into the air. The air trembled with power, as if raging like the two. In the center of the room, a dark ball of energy formed, and the Swallow-wielding Serge moved his weapon back, as if not noticing the milky white glow that began covering it...

"Serge!" Called an angry voice.

Serge opened his eyes and looked at a very insulted and angry Leena.

"Leena..." Started Serge with a bit of shame in his voice. "I'm sorry... I fell asleep..."

"You didn't get enough sleep last night?" She asked with a badly-hidden trace of worry in her voice, which was already angry.

"No, I slept fine," Said Serge. "It's odd I fell asleep like that..."

"Serge," Said Leena with a lethal expression in her eyes, her voice turning dangerously high. "Don't worry me like that! I thought you passed out again without me noticing!"

Had Leena not been this enraged Serge would of joked about how he was right after all, but intimated by her screaming he fell completly silent.

After a minute of silence, Leena turned and looked at the waves, her rage quickly diminished.  After a second she pointed at something in the sea.

"Serge, isn't that a Guldovian boat?" Asked Leena.

Serge looked curiously at the boat, that was indeed of Guldove's design, and examined the three shapes standing on it. The first was a shape of a man, a bit fat and short, and upon a second look, somewhat old, as well. Another was a golden hair girl, rather beautiful, wearing emerald robes that seemed to somehow merge with the water's color. She seemed oddly familiar to Serge, but the third one... She was a girl that seemed nearly the same as the girl next to her, leave alone hair-style and clothes, but Serge knew those didn't matter. The two were so alike... twins, perhaps? But the more Serge looked at the third girl, the more reminiscent he felt. When, out of nowhere, a name floated into his mind...

"Kid." Said Serge, as if it was the first time he had ever uttered a word.

"Kid?" Asked Leena. "Who's that, Serge?"

"I... Don't know...?" Asked Serge, feeling more flustered by the second, unable to take his eyes off the girl, who had sailed away slowly, not noticing that happanings on the beach.  

The picture of the girl Kid floated across his mind, that was completly blank at the moment. Then, he rememberd a name.... And another name... And then a place, and another place... A million places he's never even seen, people he did not even recognize by sight, all floated into his mind in the time of a split second. Serge grabbed his head, feeling as if it would split any second.

"Serge!" Called Leena, her voice filled with panic and fear. "Are you alright?! Serge!!"  



--- --- ---


...And that's all we know about the Einlanzer's disappearance, Lord Viper." Said Dario silently.

"Very well, Dario." Said General Viper.

The General was an old man, of about fifty, maybe sixty years. He was balding slowly ad his face already seemed wrinkled and old, and yet his clothes showed prestige,  the sparkle in his eyes showed awarness and the agility in which he moved his hands (A sign of a good swordsman) made him an obviously powerful warrior, and not just General. His political and strategic understandings mixed with fairness and his understaning of the desires of other people made him a perfect ruler.

"So," Asked Karsh, who stood at Dario's side. "What're we gonna do?"

The General paused for a moment, as if in thought, then said:

"We'll send search parties to search across El-Nido. Every forest, cave, path and river will be searched, along with every settlement and village. If we find nothing, we'll wait until any news arise. If someone stole the Einlanzer, he would probably wish to use (He had dared not say "abuse", as if to  push the fear away) it somehow... And we should halt all boat travel to and from El-Nido, so we'll be sure he woulden't reach Zenan. Getting something like the Einlanzer from Guardia, even worse, Porre would be impossible without declaring open war... And the Medina Mystics can't be negotiated, I'm afraid. Ever since Guardia's fall, they fear they may be next."

"Yes, sir." Said Karsh. "I shall send to command to start the search and to block all boats from the harbors."

"Very well." Said Viper. "Send bigger groups to Arni, Termina the Shadow Forest and the Hydra Marshes."

"Yes, sir." Repeated Karsh.

"Dismissed." Said Viper, and Dario and Karsh turned.

"One second, Dario, I wish to exchange a few words with you."

Karsh left the office and stood against the wall, waiting for his friend to meet him.

"What is it, sir?" Asked Dario.

"It is about you and Riddel." Said Viper, unable to hide a smile. "This may not be the best moment, but I have been meaning to ask you for quiet a while and never stumbled upon the chance."

"I will answer any question you may ask me, sir." Said Dario formally, but his lips curled in a smile.

"Time is not kind with me." Started Viper. "And I, who have seen much danger and death in my life, am somewhat weak at heart. Not to worry," He added, as he saw concern flicker in Dario's gaze. "I am fine, as you see. But my life is not as long as it would be... The price for serving your land, perhaps. And yet, once I fall, Porre will sieze the chance to wrench El-Nido from the Viper Clan's grasp. But that is not alone..." He paused for a moment slowly. "Riddel has not been so happy for years. Seeing my daugther speak so fondly and lovingly of you... And she so reminds me of her mother, god bless her soul, when I had first met her in these, now that she has matured into a woman... I must ask, though I may seem rude and impatient, when and where your wedding shall take place. Excuse me for my rudeness, but as great a ruler and general as I am," He added a smile. "I am still, nothing more then an old man."

"I don't mind you asking." Said Dario with a grin. "Not at all. In fact, I'm glad you asked. Riddel has been worried as to when we should tell you the date... We shall marry in four monthes time, in Zappa's blacksmith, Karsh's home, in other words."

"Ah," Said Viper with a voice filled with longing. "I remember how I set out with Zappa, along with Garai and Radius on journies at our youth. Indeed, foes fled by our sword... And you remind me of your father so much in his youth... And young Glenn... He looks so much like your mother. He also seemes to be growing responsible at last... Late, indeed, but your blood still runs the same."

"It is not just that." Said Dario. "All four of us, Glenn, Karsh, Riddel and myself, that is, grew up there... It seemes only suitable my life together with Riddel should start there."

Viper nodded understandably, and after another moment of talking sent Dario off. Dario left Viper's office, grinning and looking rather pleased of the course his life is going on, althought the theft of what could almost be called his family's heirloom.

"What were you talking 'bout?" Asked Karsh, who walked at Dario's side.

"The wedding." Replied Dario, simpley. At the moment, furthering the discussion seemed meaningless.

Karsh smiled and clasped his hand on Dario's shoulder.

"I'm happy for the both of you." Said Karsh, grinning too. "No one could be a better lord for El-Nido besides you. Resposible, smart, skilled, an excellent tactican... You're perfect for the job! And Riddel and you are so deeply in love..."

Dario smiled and placed his hand on Karsh's shoulder. He had truly trusted Karsh, like he had trusted Glenn. He had known Karsh had emotions for Riddel, He had seen the way how Karsh looked at Riddel through the yeards. Rare as those looks were, they were truly powerful. And now, he had given her up for him. He had loved Karsh, like a brother, just as he had loved Glenn. The three were brothers, not only in arms, but brothers in spirit!

DarkBlade13

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« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2005, 05:09:35 pm »
good story

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« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2005, 08:00:30 pm »
Finally, I'm replying!
Hmmm... where to start...
I still like the first chapter better, perhaps because of its excellent renditions of Kid, but this one does indeed have its laudable points. Serge and Leena, their dialogue, that is, were well written, save for Serge's use of 'shall' (make that 'should', it is more in line with his speaking.) Your descriptions of how they look also strike me as a measure better than I've seen you do in the past, less ponderous on exact detail and more emphasis on meaning. I also see you using some similes, such as saying 'like [a] heavy curtain' (you actually missed the 'a' in there, but I figured it's meant to be present), and that is certainly a good thing, most especially in description. Perhaps it is that that I'm seeing in it.
It does require quite a bit of editing, though, as there are quite a number of grammar and spelling mistakes. Some segments falter a little as they seem to run on, reapeat, or just not flow. I'd assume that this is near well the earlier drafts, though, so that isn't exactly a problem. It would do wonders for it, though, as the only actual problems I see are ones that will near certainly be resolved through editing. As far as I can see, it sounds better than ToF did on its first drafts.
A suggestion (and this is random by what caught my eye): don't speak of there being runes on the sword. Too common, too cliche. Runes are nice and all, but are over-used in fantasy stories. If you say simply 'script' or perhaps 'archaic script'.  
Well, that's my view on it all. Like always, I'm horrible at giving opinions, as I find it difficult to accurately gauge something in another style.
Anyway, good luck, and always continue writing.

Legend of the Past

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« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2005, 08:47:57 am »
Thanks... And, this goes through some editing, as I'm translating this from the hebrew version... Viper's short speech is something added in this version, because having such a short coversation, after I've read it again, seemed a bit odd, for a future father-in-law and son-in-law... Made no sense to me. Be sure the next chapter will too, be a little more. However, things will get distubringly bad in about twenty chapters from here, and will get worse... The next chapter is just an hint of things to come.

DeweyisOverrated

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« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2005, 11:46:28 am »
I read the intro/prologue, and I like it so far.  Once I get a good block of time I'll read the other two chapters.  A question about your writing:  you said you originally wrote it in Hebrew?  Exactly how do you go about the translation process?  Do you have to change things around that might not exist in English as they do in Hebrew?  Or did you write it with the English language in mind?

Legend of the Past

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« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2005, 01:30:19 pm »
Hmm, translating means this:

I open up a new document and the hebrew version. I then copy it in english, remove things that might not work in hebrew but would in english. I also add some things, as this, too, is editing. I add entire paragraphs, so while the entire chapter's outcome is the same, you'll have little pieces of info and background.

Radical_Dreamer

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« Reply #14 on: August 12, 2005, 09:39:23 pm »
Quote from: Legend of the Past
I then copy it in english, remove things that might not work in hebrew but would in english.


Like vowels?  :lol: