Author Topic: Dumb things said by teachers.  (Read 2178 times)

ZealKnight

  • Dimension Crosser (+1000)
  • *
  • Posts: 1067
  • Loyal Knight of the Kingdom of Zeal
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2008, 03:30:37 pm »
"Honey I will throw you out the window like a piece of cake!" - My Freshman English teacher not to mention she wrote with backwards F's and threatened to kill us constantly.

God I have so many my head is overflowing, I don't think I have ever had a competent teacher.

"You don't say that word in my classroom!!" - My Spanish3 teacher a NewYorker mind you
"What word did I say that was bad?" - my friend
"I will not repeat it!" - Her
"But, I'm confused, what did I say?" - my friend
"You do not say C-R-A-P in this classroom or you will receive a referral to the Assistant Principals, do you under stand me sir!" - her

"The United Nations is similar to the Federation from StarTrek, Katlin." - My freshman US Government Teacher to this girl who hated her with a passion, God I remember that so vividly

"Maybe, Maybe, Kind of, Absolutely, Never!" - This is literally how my AP English Language teacher responded to my question on the first day of class. No one was talking while she said it. She just said it in fast and self assured way and didn't even elaborate.

teaflower

  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2103
  • Dreams are the gateway to reality.
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2008, 05:21:44 pm »
What was the question you asked?

I say we add stupid things said by students, as well. God, I have a million of those.

"Dude, Naruto has a fox spirit in him." says a friend explaining Naruto to me. I still don't get it.
"What did you just say, Jay?!" Vice Principal, walking by.
"... fox?"
"My office. NOW."
"But... but..."
"We don't allow swearing here, Jay. You KNOW that. My office. NOW."

KebreI

  • Errare Explorer (+1500)
  • *
  • Posts: 1607
  • A true man never dies, even when he's killed
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2008, 05:40:35 pm »
That guy just needs to go fox himself.

ONSLAUGHT

  • Springtime of Youth
  • Dimension Crosser (+1000)
  • *
  • Posts: 1149
  • Crono + Panda = WTF Run!!!!
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2008, 06:58:50 pm »
"You don't say that word in my classroom!!" - My Spanish3 teacher a NewYorker mind you
"What word did I say that was bad?" - my friend
"I will not repeat it!" - Her
"But, I'm confused, what did I say?" - my friend
"You do not say C-R-A-P in this classroom or you will receive a referral to the Assistant Principals, do you under stand me sir!" - her

Wait what?!!! If that teacher had such an issue with crap, I'd easily be their most hated students. A friend took a month long test(for a class) one year on my most used words and crap is in my top ten most used words. Number 9 to be exact. I also learned I say hell a lot, number 7. Some words you don't think you use, are used more often than you think.

x_XTacTX_x

  • CC:DBT Dream Team
  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2079
  • I got myself a Paper Clip.
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2008, 07:13:20 pm »
If we're doing stupid things said by students...

"Dude, I can fucking speak French. Look: 'Spaghetti, Pizza, Futbol'. I don't need your damned patronage. - Someone in my French class.

"So, like, If Water Vaper is water's gas form, and Ice is water's solid form, then what's it's like, liquid form?" - A rather ditsy girl in my Earth Science class last year.

Also, while I'm writing, I have a story I'd like to share:

In the sixth grade, we had an aseembly where a Native American came to our school and talked about his heritage, his culture, etc. Everything was going just fine until a ceremonial song at the end, which the sole tribesman sang while playing a pair of bongos. It had to do with death, loss, shame, and everything else dismal, and was apparently very sacred to the tribe. But as he started to play, one of the teachers, also the head of the pep squad ironically enough, began to clap in tune to the beat, smiling like an idiot and cheering. Almost everyone began to follow suit save myself and a minority of other students and teachers. It was cringe-worthy, but it didn't stop. As if fated t be cliche', the Indian stood up, shed a single tear, and walked off stage. Then all of the students, including myself whom was against the effort of sacrificing a sacred melody for the sake of "School Spirit", had to write an essay detailing what rude little punks we were.

Oddly enough, this punishment was handed out by the very same woman who had started the clapping.

Belaith

  • Black Wind Agent (+600)
  • *
  • Posts: 688
  • I ain't never scared
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2008, 08:08:44 pm »
Is there a chainsaw enema going on back there?- My geometry teacher said when a student was moaning with an upset stomach.

I don't care if you chew tobacco in my class, just spit it out. My physical science teacher said to this kid with tobacco in his mouth.

Lay down with the dogs and you'll get up with termites. The counselor at my middle school told us while giving a speech about peer pressure.

Thought

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3426
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2008, 08:18:06 pm »
Ooo, stupid things students have said? My friends and I had notebooks full of those. Off the top of my head, I have two pearls:

"Clay... now is that spelled with a Y or a W?"

"The industrial revolution... did that happen in England or Great Britain?"

I don't care if you are pregnant, you better still be able to run a mile by the end of this semester. - freshman gym teacher to one of my friends.

That's horrible! (lawsuit!)

Actually, I've known a few peggers who would run at least a mile every day. Not sure how close to their due date they were doing that, though.

Mainly because it gives my aspiring career a bad name. But, in general, it just sends the message that the teachers of our youth are uneducated themselves.

Woot, aspiring teachers of the world, unite! Though, many teachers are fairly uneducated. At least in California, for example, I know that you just have to pass a written test in order to teach a subject. You don't have to actually even have any formal training in that subject matter (though if you did, then you didn't need the test). That is just at the high school level, there are fewer requirements for elementary. And at the college level, Professors aren't required to know how to teach (and they aren't even always required to know the subject matter that they teach). Add to the problem is the fact that the teaching field is relatively financially unappealing and... blarg!

Belaith

  • Black Wind Agent (+600)
  • *
  • Posts: 688
  • I ain't never scared
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2008, 08:42:31 pm »
My name is Clay and it's definately not spelled with a "w".

Where is Africa America located because I can't seem to find it on this map? One of my friends said in geography class in 7th grade.

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #23 on: October 20, 2008, 01:36:18 am »
One of my favourite ones was in one of my engineering classes... this is third year, keep in mind.

So, in our advanced mechanics of materials class, the prof is teaching... and suddenly one of the students asks how it is that the roller constraint pictured in the free body diagram doesn't lift off the surface. Oh... my.

For those who aren't engineers (and really, the humour in this is that this wasn't a first year class... this was a third year Mechanical Engineering class!) a roller constraint means by nature the point can slide along the surface, but cannot lift or fall through the surface... essentially, it is limited to one dimention. It can go along a line, and that's it. So in asking such a question, they were essentially asking something that was answered by the very nature of the constraint.

What got even funnier is that the teacher was someone on the verge of retirement, who had almost never taught a class and who was very bad at English. A quarter of an hour of him trying to figure out what in the world they were asking. I don't think he clued in that it was something so simple and stupid that they couldn't get.

Belaith

  • Black Wind Agent (+600)
  • *
  • Posts: 688
  • I ain't never scared
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #24 on: October 29, 2008, 05:58:40 pm »
This one happened today in Geometry.

My friend and I were talking about filling condoms with lotion and putting them on the teacher's porch and/or doorknob. During the majority of the conversation the teacher was standing in front of us, but he wasn't paying attention. My friend suggested using Magnum XL condoms. I told him that I have yet to see anyone purchase a box of them at Wal-Mart. (I'm a cashier at Wal-Mart) My teacher asked what we were talking about. My friend told him magnums. I told him guns. What was said next created a chain of laughter for the rest of the day.   I have a three inch magnum. I have two of them. -Mr. James, geometry teacher.

teaflower

  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2103
  • Dreams are the gateway to reality.
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #25 on: October 29, 2008, 06:23:56 pm »
Oh, dear...

Thought, are you one of my fellow aspiring teachers? Woohoo! Here in MA, we have to do a RIDICULOUS amount of stuff to be a teacher. I'm going to be an English/Theater teacher. What about you?

That thing about the water is hilarious. There are some kids like that here at school.

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #26 on: October 29, 2008, 10:32:32 pm »
Oh, there are probably a few of us wishing to be teachers hereabouts. As has been said, Thought is, but not only he, but I am as well. Though I wouldn't be teaching the primary or secondary levels, but mostly post-secondary Latin and Greek for me, if things go as I intend.

placidchap

  • Temporal Warrior (+900)
  • *
  • Posts: 905
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #27 on: October 30, 2008, 09:10:03 am »
I am a horrible teacher.  The brain to mouth connection is a little shoddy.

justin3009

  • Fan Project Leader
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3296
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #28 on: October 30, 2008, 07:45:54 pm »
"Back then, people used to write with feathers with Ink" - Teacher
"Wait, how did they write?  Is there a pen inside the feather that comes out?" - Student
....

"Can you shrink it bigger?" - Ditsy Brunette girl

"Exhale and ~DEhale~" - Moronic 8th grader on the bus.

teaflower

  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2103
  • Dreams are the gateway to reality.
    • View Profile
Re: Dumb things said by teachers.
« Reply #29 on: October 30, 2008, 08:51:19 pm »
"What's wrong? Be honest with me." French teacher from hell.
"I hate this class, quite frankly I can't stand you, I want out!" Me
"You must now write me a five hundred essay."
"What?! Wh--"
"You disrespected me!"

Note the five hundred essay. Page? Word? I dunno. ... syllable?