Just got out home from my audition today, for some show called ANTfarm on the Disney Channel. Obviously exciting, and it felt good. Didn't knock it out of the park but I certainly didn't leave the casting office thinking "what the HELL was that???" Which is a generally terrible feeling.
New agent is on FIRE, I owes them some gifts. They'd probably rather just have me book one of these. So funny. Such a bizarre town. Easy to see how people go batshit crazy here. I'm pretty good at working myself up (you might've noticed)and that's just the homefront bs. It's hard, not knowing when the next call will be, how fit am I
really for this part, how warm will this casting director be? if I fuck up, will they ever call me in for anything again? Will my agent stop sending me out if I don't book a job right away? Will I ever get another agent again? Why do all of these people look just like me but better!?!? Will I ever accomplish ANYTHING????"So yea, it's easy to go crazy and let it pile up. I've experienced light, light moments of this kind of professional desperation before, and I haven't even gotten started yet! It's a whole new set of pressure once it gets going. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, but things are going well. One could get used to 5 auditions a week. It won't be this way forever though; and instead of letting that act as a some scary end-all backdrop I'm starting to embrace it. Granted, much easier to do when things are going well.
Consistency has been a theme for me in 2011. Had a few good joking "Well, consistently LAME isn't what I had in mind!" moments for sure, but progress is being made and I'm learning.
I think I really got a shot at this role. But let's ease up and stay consistent across the board.