In the Jewish diaspora, you're supposed to pray facing Jerusalem. In America, that is generally interpreted to mean "east." The shul I went to when I was a kid had its sanctuary oriented eastward, like pretty much every other shul in America.
Now, as it happens, my favorite direction is west. As it happens, my apartment faces west and has a wall of glass in that direction and a sweeping view of the city and the mountains. And, as it happens, I don't much like prayer, or religion. So I got to thinking: I'm already a west-facer rather than an east-facer. What, then, is the opposite of prayer? Could it be network television programming? Could it be issuing an imperial decree through a megaphone?
I asked the googles, but they kept giving me the religious answers, such as anxiety and pride.
I asked the dictionary, and I got something close to the "imperial decree," which is that "pray" comes from a word meaning "entreat" and "prayer" thus is closely related to the word "precarious," as they share the common etymology of "made by entreaty," and the opposite of entreaty is certainly declaration. But I felt there was more WIN to yet be mined from this, so I pressed on...
I asked Mr. Owl, but he ate my lollipop and didn't have anything to say about prayer.
Then, finally, I asked the Joshalonian Board of Defiance (currently in unscheduled session), and they told me, with their usual understated brilliance, and without hesitation, that the opposite of "prayer" is "providence." "Providence" you may know as a religious word, but more simply it refers to the state of being provided for, and it derives from a word meaning "to foresee" in the sense of meaning "to see ahead," i.e., "to have foresight," i.e., "prudence." The opposite of prayer, then, is not merely providence, but prudence.
ZING !!
As a writer, I possess the talent to make words mean whatever I want them to, without breaking any of the rules of English. As often as this zings the "Prayerisees," it also leads to occasional newfound insights. Everybody wins. <3
Now, therefore, I have resolved to hold court on my westward-facing balcony in the mornings and be prudent with my megaphone.
