Alright, you forced a one-chapter pity-read out of me, Symmetry
Only saw one spelling deal: "The two siblings entered the main hall and made their way to the throne room where several Zealian dignitaries were waiting. Unlike many others with positions of power, Schala preferred to do away with what she saw as unnecessary gestures and grandiose displays of flattery. No one bowed or dropped to their knees when she passed by; a simple nod of the head was ample respect. Once Schala had seated herself on the throne, one of the dignitaries approached her. Before recognizing the elderly man, she took one last glance at Janus, who had assumed his position nearby
against of the chamber's columns."
As for the story itself (I still definately plan on reading the other chapter and any upcoming segments)...I was taken aback a bit when given Schala's age, but it was a pleasent surprise...I fealt that Schala & Janus talk especially hoity-toity now...which feels very forced, especially when they are alone and talking only to each other, which is where I would think their speech would be most comfortable. I understand they're royalty, but it just seems a bit thick to me. Also, I thought some of the information seemed a little forced (all of the Guru's titles neatly displayed in the beginning along with mention of the entity), but I suppose that's mainly due to the fact that I've played the games, and I probably wouldn't think about it so much otherwise...The description of the throne-room seems a little much, but it seems like there's a lot going on in there, so it serves well enough (dreamstone as decoration though?)
Other than that, it seems really good (although I gag at the whole hair-dying thing myself, which I do not believe in), well written, and I like a lot of the introspective thinking that Schala does throughout (although I personally believe that she should know Janus more than Janus knows Janus, and thusly shouldn't have to ask about any 'coldness' or anything...again though, *personal belief*). Nice hook at the end too! But as the time is late, I'll read the rest later!