Termina Esplanade - Special Events and Feedback > Dream Splash III - Chrono Break [2010]

"Project Unity" - Chrono Trigger: Episode I Chapters 1 - 4

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Lennis:
It's time.

After working up the courage to try my hand at Chrono Trigger fan-fiction 14 months ago, I am finally ready to introduce the opening chapters of "Project Unity" to the community at large.  This is my attempt to both retell the story of Chrono Trigger and establish what happens after the conclusion of Chrono Cross.  It is in every way meant to tell the complete story of Crono Lantree, Lucca Ashtear, and Nadia Guardia from beginning to end.  For this reason, I have decided not to give it the name of a true sequel, such as "Chrono Break", but rather as an episodic series with a definitive beginning, middle, and end.  "Chrono Trigger" seemed the most appropriate title for the story, and it will be split up into four full-length novels, or "episodes".

Here are the first four chapters of Episode I.  They are named chapters that will not necessarily follow the names of the chapters in the original game.  (Hopefully they will upload.  I've never submitted files here before.)

Discussion is more than welcome, just don't ask me how I intend to resolve things.  I want that to be a complete surprise.

chi_z:
this is good shit and you are an excellent writer, though I can't offer much in the way of constructive criticism because I'm not so much of a writer me self......but from a layman's perspective, this definitely captures the atmosphere of kato and gang's work in the series, which to me is the most important thing to get down. I'm a musician and in music when you make a remix or variation on someone else's work, that's one of the most important aspects, still keeping the original creator's mood and intent in mind.

 your visual imagery or w/e it's called is very good, I feel like I'm WATCHING a chrono anime rather than reading a fanfic. this is definitely on par with the CT novel project. I haven't read every last page yet, my time is very limited, but I plan to do so. Should hopefully get the chance come christmas break (damn the college schedule!)

Lennis:
Glad you liked the chapters, chi.  Being faithful to the source material while putting my own spin on the world of Chrono has been a challenging experience.  Hopefully you'll find the time to give me a fuller critique in the near future.  I'm eager for feedback.

To the community at large, though, I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed at the lack of activity on this thread - and on the Dream Splash in general.  To have 70+ people read the thread and have only three people actually download the chapters makes me sad.  Granted, my work is too long to put in the space of a typical forum posting, but I didn't think putting in links to PDFs - as opposed to a huge wall of text - would turn out to be a detriment to feedback.  In fact, I chose PDF format to make everything easier to read.

I don't mean to ruffle any feathers here, I was just hoping for a little more feedback now that it's September.  I'd like to know what people think before starting the next phase of this project.

CamrocG:
Well, I thought this was excellent. This definitely has the potential to be something big. Now if only we could buy the rights from Square, or something. Then you could get this published. :)

TheMage:
Simply amazing, is all I have to say! I am in love with this story. The way Chrono and Lucca met is down right adoreable and  poor Lucca, I didnt  realize it was her the children called 'big eyes' until literally a moment before she mentioned her parents.

As for the writing itself, its supreme. I can't find any spelling mistakes, or akward lines that don't flow. You truly have a gift with writing.

As for the lack of replies, I think a lot of members don't participate in Dream Splash :( or at least, there not very good at responding. If you post this story in the fanfiction center, you might get more replies.

http://www.chronocompendium.com/Forums/index.php/board,13.0.html


Anyway I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and do hope you'll continue :mrgreen:

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