by Delta Dragon
As we all know, everyone dreams. Whether we remember it or not is irrelevant. The point is, we do. Now I, Glenn, son of Garai, brother of Dario, and the current wielder of the Einlanzer (two of them actually), was having a dream that could be described as many things. Humorous, life changing, down right ridiculous, and probably not meant to be ignored. Here it is.
My adventure begins at the bed chambers at Viper Manor at two in the morning. It was one of those dreams where how and why you're there doesn't make very much sense, but you don't notice in a dream of course. I was staring at the bright green pyramid, just thinking about how strange it is for an extremely odd floating pyramid to be in the middle of Viper Manor. At that moment, I decided to ask the person on the next bed if he knew anything about it. He knew nothing. I was about was to ask the person on the bed in front of me, but then remembered that that was Jeffy, the son of Joe the Ignorant. He was the most stupid and annoying soldier I'd ever met. I decided that it was likely nobody here knew about it so I went to ask someone higher.
I went to go ask Karsh, who had recently returned from Dodo hunting, his most recent hobby. As I arrived, Karsh opened the door and yelled at me for waking him up at 2 in the morning. That was a waste. Then I heard a door opening at the entrance. General Viper had just returned. If anyone knew, he would. So I set out to ask him. General Viper told me that the pyramid had been there since before they had built the manor. Yet he had still not fully discovered it's purpose. There was at least one other in the manor as well. After this I knew there was only one way to find out. Charge on head forward. I stepped right into the green pyramid. Nothing happened. Except I got kind of a weird feeling in the stomach. Oh wait, that's just because I forgot to get my midnight sandwich. I decided to do that later. Then, as I was about to move away from it, I saw something. It was as if all I had was suddenly there before me. My weapons, armor, elements, and even a moving picture of myself. But then, I saw something. I didn't have a clue as to what it was though. I touched it and then read what I saw. I have a feeling my face there was truly a sight to see. It was a life saver. ...Literally! When I touched it, a feeling more peculiar then eating roasted green beans with butter on it. Okay maybe not quite. It's as if I felt myself being set in time. As if no matter what I did, I would be here. This definitely wasn't a result of me not having my sandwich. No, this was much more. After that I went out of the pyramid, and went away different. With that great feeling I felt like I could conquer the world. I also had a new quest. Yet for some reason I couldn't remember what it was at the time. It seemed there was something unfinished or missing that needed to be resolved.
So the first thing I did was go to Termina. There I would find a boat, and explore El Nido. My first destination was Earth Dragon Isle. Why? How should I know? It's a dream, nothing makes sense. I managed to buy a small but reasonably fast boat. So off to Earth Dragon Isle I went. As soon as I got to shore and got the boat safely on the shore, I went right into the quicksand leading into the massive cavern below. I saw many enemies ahead of me. So as soon as I went down I drew both Einlanzers and was ready to fight. This is after I got off the moving walkway of course. My first attacker was a Rock Roach. I attacked it on the shell with no luck. I figured I would have to hit the part inside. Unfortunately, I didn't see that the giant beast had started spinning and left the ground. I had to make an extremely fast comeback. So I quickly launched an Aeroblaster at it, knocking it back to the ground. ...Right on top of me. ...Ouch. It would have been almost fatal had I not been holding one of my swords in a position that not only softened the blow, but killed the Rock Roach. Then Pip suddenly fell in and proclaimed rather annoyingly about how you're supposed to wait until after they've finished their attack to attack. He also said something about waiting at least an hour after eating to go swimming, but I have no idea what that was about. Then Pip got eaten by a Yellow Belly. I decided not to kill it. Heh heh heh! So I went into the room where the Earth Dragon is found. As soon as it saw me, it burst into a long speech about global warming. I get the feeling that this guy is a fanatic. He just went on and on and on about we need to stop throwing plastic bags on the side of the road. Not to mention the five minute speech about why we shouldn't burn styrofoam cups. I got so annoyed in the timespan of about 10 seconds I used an Aeroblaster, a Sonic Sword, a Tornado, and finished it off with a Sonja. Then I ran faster than I thought my feet could go. As soon as I reached the surface and got back to my boat, I sailed directly to Guldove.
As soon as I reached the dock I was met by Norris, who just happened to be holding his gun at my forehead. Apparently he wanted to kill me because I was his only competition for Kid. Creepy. I asked him if he would prefer a duel. He denied and just wanted to kill me. He put his hand on the trigger and a split second before he fired he stopped and appeared to be in pain. He fell over unconscious. Steena had stabbed him in the back. Steena then picked up Norris and carried him off. That was weird. As I was walking through Guldove I saw Kid. She was running toward me with an odd expression. As soon as she reached me she practically jumped on me and was kissing me voraciously. This is when things get really weird. After about thirty seconds of that she turned into a hungry Tyrano. It wasn't fair. That was the best part of the dream so far. So after I ran for about five minutes and discovered it had stopped chasing me, I was in the bar. I asked Orlha for a drink. I couldn't help but notice that after giving it to me Orlha was giving me this really creepy smirk which reminded me of the one Kid gave me. I sat down feeling as if none of what was going on was unusual. So I finished my drink and stayed there for a while. A bit later Macha came in and got something to go. I didn't even know they made things to go. As she was leaving she gave me an expression very similar to Orlha's. This is getting weirder and weirder. After that I left the bar and took a walk around Guldove, being extremely careful to stay away from any rampaging Tyranoes in the area. Mel was apparently running from somebody. She also gave me that same expression. What is with that?!
I decided I should probably get away from Guldove. So I sailed to Arni Village. I went into the restaurant and ordered some noodles. Leena was there as well. She was also giving me that same smirk. Razzly was visiting as well. I figured it must be like a new trend or something. I decided to go back to Viper manor. At the entrance to it were Lady Riddel, Luccia, and Marcy. You'll never guess what they were doing. This was starting to get old. I went to the Hermit's hideout thinking nobody would follow me there. Unfortunately Miki, Harle, Janice, Irenes, Leah, and yes even Sprigg, were there giving me that smirk that was just getting more and more annoying. This was almost too much. Then the rampaging Tyrano appeared again. Hang on, how the heck did it get here you ask? Well I seem to remember it following me onto the boat. ...Please don't make me go into that. At that moment all of the female people I had recently encountered including Steena who was still holding Norris's unconscious (possibly dead) body. Then they all tackled me, doing pretty much what Kid did. Oh yeah! Soon after that the Tyrano started eating them. As soon as there was a hole in the pile of bodies on top of me, I ran into the burnt stump. Radius was there and he started beating me with his rod for breaking into his house. He burst into flames and in his place was a vase of tulips. So I peaked out of the stump and saw that the Tyrano was still massacring all the girls there. I ran and ran right past the Tyrano, into the boat, and left.
From there I went back to Termina, where there was some sort of tournament going on. There was a huge crowd around Draggy and Poshul, who were dueling with knives. Also, off to the side, Pierre and Fargo were engaged in a sword fight. Apparently Poshul had angered Draggy so much that he had pulled a knife and Fargo hated Pierre for being such a creep. It sounded like fun. I decided to help Fargo. Things get fuzzy here and I'm not sure what ended up happening to Pierre. He probably died. ...I hope.
So Then Fargo and I started hanging out for a bit. I decided to let him come with me. We sailed around for a bit and eventually we went to the Bend of Time and played cards with Spekkio. Spekkio cheated somehow. I think Flea was helping him, and there was also the tiny issue of Slash threatening to kill me every time I got a good hand. That got old pretty quickly. I left Fargo there. I sailed over to Arni again so I could explore the Hydra Marshes. So I went in and walked around for a bit. Then I fell in a hole. However, I didn't fall on the Pentapus. Instead I fell on the Luxator. Man those horn things hurt! After I recovered and found out what I had fallen on, I drew both swords and got ready to fight. After I used a capsule or two for the injury of course. Those things are @#$% sharp!
It beat the snot out of me. I thought it was going to eat me until I saw what its pet was. It had the Sky Dragon as a pet. So then I got eaten by the Sky Dragon. Sort of. I had to use an Einlanzer to keep from being swallowed. Apparently that thing doesn't feel pain inside it's mouth. It didn't have any negative reactions from me stabbing it several dozen times. As I was in there I had only one choice, and that was to use an element and hope it will spit me out. So I used Tornado. ...Nothing. Those are some strong gums. After that I started slowly climbing out by stabbing it with a sword and climbing up, and then repeating the process. As soon as I reached the teeth, I was tragically forced to leave a sword behind. I jumped out and (while trying to dodge its rather sharp teeth) managed to climb up the ladder. Thankfully it didn't follow me. I was sad for a while for the loss of an Einlanzer, but got over that and went to go kill a Hydra. I failed. ....Horribly. ...It ate me. ...slowly.
But being a dream I didn't die. After a bumpy ride down its esophagus, I found myself at the entrance to the Shadow Forest. I was tied up and hanging over a fire. Apparently the Buds there had turned carnivorous. Thankfully, I always carry an Aqua Ball, so I put out the fire. The Bulbs didn't appreciate that, so they brought in their friends the Lava Boys. They were pathetic. I killed them with an Aqua Beam. ...Hang on. Why the heck did I have an Aqua Beam with me? Oh well.
So I moved on and kept going through the forest. As I reached the sleeping Quaffid, I noticed that about six Cassowaries were gathered together and were carrying torches and pitchforks. In a minute or two they walked towards the Quaffid and poked it a bit with the pitchforks. It woke up and ran. They chased it for several hours until they reached the giant tree. They set it on fire and started dancing and repeating a demonic chant around it. I guess the Cassowaries are pagans. Then Orcha, Zappa, and Zoah appeared and started killing the Cassowaries, but not in the usual manner. It was as if they were doing it as part of the ceremony. There were even musical interludes between kills, with Zoah singing the soprano part. Being quite disturbed, I left the forest. On the way out I got tackled by Greco. He punched me senseless until Marge, Serge's mother, held him back and slapped him. They went off together quite affectionately. ...Wait, can that mean? Could Greco be Serge's father!? I was proved wrong however. Wazuki came in as well and also beat me senseless. After being sufficiently pummeled, I left the forest.
I wanted to get back to my boat, but it was all the way across the island. So I had to go through Fossil Valley first. While walking through it, I had to battle my way through an army of Bubba Dingos. It's a good thing those things are weak. I did win, but after I got out of the valley I was beat up by a giant mutant porcupine thingy. I had to stop in Arni to heal for a while. When I got back to my boat. It was gone. ...That got the best of me. I literally roared in rage. When I had finished, a full grown lion leaped out of my mouth and ate one of my legs. I hopped back into Arni, wanting to smash something.
I found the Sky dragon had returned. First the Bubba Dingos, then the boat, and now this. Now I really roared. I went berserk, ripped off my second leg, and somehow singlehandedly beat the Sky Dragon using it as a weapon. In the remains of it was sitting my boat. My legs grew back right around then, so I carried the boat to the shore, washed all the....stuff from the Sky Dragon off, and got back in. I sailed to the last place in my dream adventure. The one and only Terra Tower. Don't ask me how I got there. I haven't a clue. After going through much pain and suffering, I finally got to the top and encountered the Time Devourer in its dragon form. It beat me senseless, tortured me, slaughtered me, ate me, and spit me back to the beginning of the tower. Or at least that's what would have happened, if I hadn't brought my trusty all color plate. Custom made by my Great Uncle! So it was kind of the other way around. Only the Time Devourer was too heavy to throw. Instead I cooked and ate it. It tasted like chicken that was wet, on fire, evil, poisoned, rock hard, and holy all at the same time. After eating the entire thing, I fell asleep. When I woke up I found myself in a large void of darkness. In the distance, I saw who I believed to be Lynx. And guess why it was all dark. He was in the process of casting Forever Zero. Two seconds later, I was hit by a wave of unexplainable pain. I collapse again and wake up again on Terra Tower with the bones of the Time Devourer in front of me. I don't think I've ever had a dream in a dream before. But once again Lynx was in front of me. Not to mention he was holding his weird scythe thing at my neck. He demanded that I give him the Frozen Flame. I told him I didn't have it, so he began to use Forever Xero. This time I really felt the unexplainable and unbearable pain. I thought you weren't supposed to feel pain in dreams! A moment later it was over and he was gone. But that's not all. It was as if the shadows of the world were all ganging up on me. I was in a darkness that was not actually dark. More of a feeling of being in darkness without it being real. It was in that very moment that I heard a faint voice in the distance. A man. He sounded familiar. The voice was telling me to conquer the darkness. And that if I couldn't overcome this than I am nothing more than a shadow. At that moment he revealed himself. Now I understood why he sounded so familiar. It was Dario, my brother. He drew his sword and held it out as if he wanted to duel. I drew my remaining Einlanzer and did the same as him. Then it came back to me. My quest from the beginning. To meet, face, and reign as the victor over my brother. We began to fight. At first it appeared that I was winning, but he soon gained the upper hand and nearly pinned me to the floor. I might add that this was a battle of steel without magic and elements. He jumped in with a slash that narrowly missed my shoulder. I countered with a lunge that he blocked with such speed that I didn't even see him move from place to place. I quickly brought down a slice that he parried so easily I can't even describe. We began to parry many times until he ducked one and lunged right at me. I dodged quickly, but not quickly enough for him to miss my shoulder. I had to rely on one arm now. I was stunned for a second or two after the strike which he took advantage of. In the blink of an eye he had me pinned down. He must have thought he had won there because he loosened his grip on me just enough for me to strike back. So I got up and with renewed vigor began to strike harder than ever. In a moment I had turned the tables. It didn't take long before I had him on the ground with my blade at his neck. Just then he turned into a giant rubber duck and began to fade to nothing. In a moment he was dust on the ground. My mission was complete. At that moment I woke up. And now, I have no idea what I just went through. I've got to stop going on these adventures with Serge.