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Crono Returns Chapter 8 preview (Previous knowledge of CR NOT required!)


Hello everyone, I figured I'd just give you a preview while I continue to work on chapter 8. You don't need to have read the previous chapters of Crono Returns to get this one if you're just reading this for the contest, and it wouldn't exactly help nearly as much as just having knowledge of Chrono Trigger. This is, after, all, just a collection of all the flashback scenes (About half the chapter)

So yeah, enjoy this story about an underrated villain who never gets the attention from fanfic writers he deserves. I don't think I did much good with this chapter, but then again I haven't been satisfied with ANY of my previous chapters despite them being praised by every reviewer so far, though I guess everyone is their own worst critic.

Without further ado, I present to you the first fanfic to focus on the Frog King and probably the first to give him a backstory.


585 AD
"Sir Magus, we found the King's brat wandering around the Magic Cave, saying he was going to take us evil monsters out all by himself," Ozzie informed the fiendlord, laughing as soon as he finished the sentence.

The room was quite dark, being lit with nothing other than a bunch of blue flames to the side of Magus' brown wooden throne. The nineteen year old fiendlord himself sat on the throne.

Magus, upon hearing Ozzie's news, was also quite amused. "So you've kidnapped Prince Guardia, have you? Bring him in, I could have some fun with him."

"Yes my lord."

With that, Ozzie exited through the door, allowing Slash to step through with a young boy around the age of fourteen with a red and yellow crown, blue jewels embroidered in the middle of the front and top. The boy was very overweight as well; in fact, he could give Ozzie a run for his money, and he rounded out to about a meter and a half in height. He was dressed in a dark purple robe that went down to his feet, barely exposing his dark brown boots. He also wore a bright red cape that went from his neck to his feet, barely hovering above the ground. He was part of Guardia's royal family, no doubt about it.

With his hands tied together thanks to some rope, Flea walked the prince over to Magus' throne before leaving. Prince Guardia was left mere feet in front of Magus, anger and determination in his eyes.

"You dirty coward, untie this rope and fight me like a man!" the prince loudly demanded.

Magus simply smiled at the prince; he was clearly amused. "If an ant told you to fight it face-to-face fairly, would you humor it?"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything, you cheating coward!?" the prince shot back.

"It would seem that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed. Tell me boy, why did you come here?" Magus inquired.

"Why should I tell a fiend like you?"

Magus smirked as Prince Guardia spoke the last line. "How about this; answer all my questions, and I'll fight you one-on-one, no magic or anything."

"Alright then," he replied, still standing in front of the dark mage, "I overheard my dad and a few others talking about how you and your servants are becoming a serious threat. You even sent troops to burn down Guardia and take all the supplies they could carry, but they were no match for the Guardian military! Since I'm so strong, it's only fitting that I should be the one to take down the stupid evil Magus!"

Magus had been suppressing his laughter at the end, but after a second of silence, he burst into laughter, leaving the prince baffled.

"What's so funny!?" he yelled at Magus, "You should be taking me seriously, after all I have the Hero's Medal!"

With that, Magus exploded into even more laughter, struggling to breathe. After a few seconds, Magus managed to sit straight again and keep his face straight.

"I get it now, your strategy was to make me laugh myself to death. Although I had trouble breathing after hearing your nonsense, your strategy failed," Magus taunted him.

"Stop mocking me and fight like a man so that I can show you some pain!" he demanded once again.

"Alright son," Magus agreed as he stood up and took the scythe that was leaning against the back of his throne, "Show me."

Approaching the young and obese prince, Magus quickly slashed through the rope that was binding his hands together. Within an instant, Magus had thrown the scythe back and the prince fell backwards on the floor in surprise.

"The fight hasn't even begun and already you've been knocked down," Magus told him with a smile on his face, "I was hoping for a fight that was worth my time."

Hearing Magus insult him, his was refueled as he got himself up from the floor and charged at his opponent. Unfortunately for the prince, he was far too slow, so as soon as he got within an inch of Magus, Magus merely sidestepped the punch the prince failed to deliver with his right hand.

Upon being kicked on the back of his right knee, Prince Guardia fell to the floor on his knees screaming whilst Magus stood right behind him.

"Is this the best you can do?" Magus taunted him, "At first I thought you were brave, but now it seems more like you're far too stupid to realize what you're in for."

"SHUT UP!" he shot back at Magus as he attempted to hit the fiendlord with his elbow.

Magus merely jumped back to avoid his elbow and proceeded to deliver a flying kick to the Prince's back at full force.

With that, he was knocked a few inches forward, falling on his face with a thud as he screamed in pain. Magus assaulted him once more with a low kick to the side of his stomach that proved to be powerful enough to flip him over as he was launched into the air for a split-second, crying out in pain once more. There Prince Guardia lay on his back as Magus stood right in front of him.

Magus grinned, showing his fangs to the frightened prince. "What's the matter? You were so brave and confident a minute ago, what happened?"

"P-Please don't kill me! I'm sorry!" he begged, tears starting to appear in his eyes.

"You want me to spare you? You can't possibly be serious," Magus responded, visibly getting angrier, "You should have thought about that before you challenged me."

"I'll do anything! Just let me live!" he continued to plead.

In order to silence him, Magus zapped Prince Guardia with a bolt of lightning, leaving him screaming in pain for a few seconds.

"You make me sick. You remind me so much of when I was younger. You were born into privilege, and so you think you're above everybody else. Too bad for you that isn't how it works. Simply having the Hero's Medal won't do anything for you, you need to know how to use it!"

The frightened prince simply lay there in shock, staring straight into Magus' crimson red eyes. "For the longest time, I was angry. I was angry about how one minute I was the prince of the most powerful kingdom on the planet, and the next I was thrust into this place. However, now I realize it was all for the better. If it weren't for the fact I lost everything, I wouldn't have been so motivated to get it back, I wouldn't have trained to become as powerful as I am now. Thankfully for me, Ozzie saw more in me than an angry child who happened to have minor magical abilities. Thanks to that fool, I managed to become powerful enough to surpass not only him, but every other person on this planet in power. In the end, I'm a much better ruler here than I ever would have been if I had been sheltered my whole life and had everything handed to me."

Still overcome with terror, the boy on the floor managed to utter out "What's the point to this?"

"The point," Magus began, "Is that had I continued down the road I was on as a child, then I probably would have ended up the same way as you. Take a look at yourself, you're not fit to rule over an ant hill."

"A-Are you going to..." he tried to let out before Magus stopped him.

"I'm not going to kill you," Magus assured him.

"T-Thank you so much! I'm so-" he attempted to say before being cut off in mid-sentence.

"But I'm not letting you off easy."

"W-What do you mean!?" he asked.

"I just learned a new spell, and I've been dying to use it," Magus began, "It's a spell that turns a person into a frog, and the only way to reverse the spell is to kill me."

"No! Please, don't do it! You don't have to change me into-" Prince Guardia tried to convince Magus as his finger was pointed straight at his chest.

"SILENCE! You don't deserve the riches in life you have now, it's time you experience what I went through, it's time you have your life taken away from you and be forced to start over!"



"Mom, dad, it's me, gribbit!" Prince Guardia called out to his parents as he burst through the castle's front door. King Guardia and Princess Leene standing right in front of it since they were on their way to leave the castle.

"G-G-G-GUARDS! HELP US!" King Guardia mumbled in fear as he and the queen stepped back.

Seeing them try to escape from him and enter the throne room, Prince Guardia slowly walked towards them. "Mom, dad, it's okay! I'm still your son! Please, you have to believe me, gribbit!"

The throne room's door was slammed open as about half a dozen guards ran through. All of them were too frozen in fear to attack the monster. "W-What is that!?" several of them said in unison.

"Look, I still have my crown! And the Hero's Medal, gribbit! It's me, I'm your son, gribbit!" he desperately tried to convince them.

"Honey, he... he has our son's belongings! He even has the voice!" King Guardia said to her, not believing his eyes.

There stood an extremely large frog that weighed hundreds of pounds and towered over everyone else due to his height.

"M-Magus did this!" the king stated quickly, "It's a trap! He killed our son and stole his belongings! He even put his voice in that beast!"

"D-Dad, you're wrong, gribbit! Please belie-" the giant frog tried to say before the knight Cyrus rushed in from the frog's left and knocked him a good meter or so to the right.

"Stop! I'm your son, gribbit!"

"Don't listen to him!" Cyrus told the king, queen and his fellow knights, "This is clearly an illusion of that fiend Magus!"

With that, Cyrus rushed at him again, but Prince Guardia managed to jump over him in desperation so that he was once again in front of the door. "After him, damn it!" Cyrus yelled at his fellow knights.

"R-Right!" they all replied as they ran straight forward to attack the monster.

Realizing that he would have to leave now if he wanted to live, Prince Guardia dashed through the door, leaving a giant hole in it. He was crying his eyes out, but he managed to keep hopping away into Guardia Forest so that the knights wouldn't catch him. Eventually, however, Cyrus managed to catch up with it and stab him in the back, missing any internal organs thankfully for the frog.

The stab to the back left the former prince bleeding from the back, screaming in agony and even more desperate to escape from the forest. Quickly, he jumped once again, this time landing several meters in front of Cyrus. Cyrus tried to rush him, but Prince Guardia managed to jump out of the way even further this time, landing outside of the forest.

By the time Cyrus made it through the trees and bushes, there wasn't a frog in sight. The other knights managed to catch up to Cyrus within the minute, and already Cyrus was thinking of a plan.

"Alright, the frog could be hiding anywhere, but he won't make it very far considering I left a pretty good wound on him," Cyrus informed them, "So I want you to start searching different areas for him. He has the Hero's Medal, after all. I'll go back to the castle and recruit as many people as I can to help with the search."

"My king, my queen, I'm sorry for your loss." Cyrus sincerely thought to himself (despite not being Prince Guardia's biggest fan) as he turned to leave his fellow knights behind and head for the castle.


Against all odds, Prince Guardia had made it all the way to the Cursed Woods. However, he collapsed soon after entering it, lying on his stomach while he bled to death. Miraculously, he was quickly found by a group of six wandering t'poles.

"Check it out, there's a giant frog," one of them pointed out.

"And he even has a crown," another stated, "Does that mean he's a king of frogs, gribbit?"

"If we want to find out," the eldest one began, "We'll need to heal him first. He might even be dead already, gribbit."

"You're right, he's bleeding! Come on guys, we can use our slurp abilities to heal him, gribbit!"

With that, all six of the t'poles began to use their tongues on the wound on his back, licking away all the blood and closing the wound. That was when he regained consciousness.

"W-What's going on here, gribbit?" he nervously asked as he opened his eyes to see six red t'poles.

"Yay! You're alright, gribbit!" one of the t'poles exclaimed, "We thought you were going to die from that nasty cut on your back, gribbit!"

Instantly after hearing that, the giant frog clearly remembered the latest events in his life. "A stab wound, huh?" he thought, "So I wasn't dreaming and... hey, I'm still a frog, gribbit!"

With that, he burst into tears, crying as loudly as he could in front of the t'poles.

"H-Hey, what's wrong, gribbit?" the eldest one asked.

Between tears, he managed to let out "I, I used to be a prince, but now, now my, my own family wants me dead, gribbit!"

He began to cry even harder as he said the last line. In an attempt to comfort him, one of the t'poles offered "It's alright, you can be our king, gribbit!"

After a while, he calmed down in front of the silent frogs. "So, you said I could be your king? Do you mean it, gribbit?" he asked, hoping to make the most of this situation.

"Yeah," several of them said in unison.

"What would we call you though, gribbit?" the youngest one asked.

The new king thought for a moment before giving his answer. "Just Frog King will do, gribbit."


589 AD

Over the next four years, the frog king ruled over the Cursed Woods, even making a sign that read "Private property. No trespassing... GRIBBIT!"

His rule extended beyond just t'poles. Many gnawlers, naga-ettes and even some nus began to consider him their king, not only because he was a very large and powerful creature, but also because, by their standards, he was very intelligent considering that he knew how to read and write.

The Frog King was not satisfied with his power over the creatures of the Cursed Woods. Although he pretended that he cared for his loyal subjects, in reality he was using them to build up an army so that he could take Guardia Castle back from his parents. All these years later, he was still furious at his parents for turning their back on him simply because he had been changed into a frog. He was angry at Cyrus for stabbing him in the back- literally. Most of all, he held a great deal of hatred for Magus since he turned him into a frog. Once he was finished with Guardia Castle, he would have his revenge on Magus as well. He would have his soldiers bring Magus back to him so he could finish the mage off. He would get back at Magus if it was the last thing he did.

For now, however, he had to build up a bigger army.


590 AD
"Cyrus, are you leaving?" Queen Leene asked him from the throne.

There he stood in the middle of the throne room wearing shiny metal armor with gold outlines and a bright purple cape, standing on on the dark purple carpet. "Yes, it's time we took back the Medal from the Frog King. And I'd like to see that mythical sword for myself," He answered.

Reports of the Frog King returning had spread all over the area after a young blonde-haired girl named Fiona had been kidnapped from her home by a group of naga-ettes. A message had been left on the table reading "I, Frog King, shall knock you all down." A witness had seen the naga-ettes bring her into the Cursed Woods.

"But Cyrus, the kingdom needs you!" King Guardia exclaimed, "Furthermore, Leene and I need you. You must return to us!"

"Do not worry, as long as there is life in these bones, I shall return!" Cyrus assured them.

With that, he bowed to them one last time and turned around, already headed for the Cursed Woods. Immediately after stepping through the first door, he was greeted by ten soldiers in purple armor. "Sir Cyrus!" One of them called out.

All of them bowed to him as he prepared to leave. "We, the Knights of the Square Table, wish you a safe journey," the one directly in front of him said.

Cyrus gave them a smile before proceeding forward. "Listen well, my friends," he told them, "I now entrust the safety of the kingdom to you!"

After the soldier in front of him stepped to his right so that Cyrus could proceed, Cyrus walked down the stairs to meet Glenn.

"Pardon the delay," he said to his green-haired friend, "Shall we be off?"


The Frog King stood in front of the tied-up girl he had kidnapped the night before. She was tied up with rope around her feet and hands, a couple of naga-ettes standing beside her ensuring that she couldn't escape. A large group of monsters was gathered around him, with two green t'poles by either of his sides.

"This, my loyal subjects," the Frog King began his speech, "Is a human girl, gribbit. The knights of Guardia will be sent in several different locations to look for her, which shall make the castle much more vulnerable and easy for you to invade, gribbit. In a matter of hours, we shall attack, gribbit!"

As soon as he said the last line, dozens of creatures began to cheer.



Within seconds however, the area went silent as a red t'pole ran over to the king screaming "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! AN ARMORED MAN IS HEADED OUR WAY, GRIBBIT!"

"What!?" the Frog King shouted in panic, "How did he know I was here? N-Nevermind that, after him, gribbit!"

"Yes sire!" several of them responded as they rushed over to find the man in armor.

The Frog King remained in a few meters in front of a tied-up Fiona as all of his troops (Save for two green t'poles by his side and the two naga-ettes guarding Fiona) ran over to fight the intruder.

He expected to hear a human screaming and all noise to stop within seconds, but instead the Frog King heard nothing but the screaming of his troops. Minutes passed by, and the noise continued, which made worried the Frog King. Either the knight was still alive and managed to single-handedly kill most of the monsters at this point, or they had gotten into a fight over who would eat his corpse and were killing each other over it.

Although the knight didn't know the Frog King's exact location, he almost certainly figured it out as soon as Fiona shouted in a high-pitched voice "HELP ME! I'M OVER HERE!"

"D-Damn it! Shut her up, gribbit!" the Frog King ordered.

However, it was too late as a man in shiny metal armor dashed through a tall bush, ending up in the middle of the area. To his left was the Frog King and two t'poles. To his right were two naga-ettes and a blonde-haired girl.

"So, I take it this is the girl that was kidnapped last night," he greeted them, "I could've sworn that I killed you last time, but it looks like you truly did survive our last encounter."

Upon hearing Cyrus speak, the giant amphibian recognized him. "So it seems you are the one who stabbed me in the back in more ways than one, gribbit."

Cyrus was confused by that last statement. "More ways than one? What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, gribbit! I was the prince, and you still decided to attack me, gribbit!"

"You are clearly out of your mind," Cyrus shot back, "I am not stupid, I did not fall for that nonsense five years ago, and I won't fall for it now! The king and queen are still mourning over his almost certain demise at the hands of Magus, and when you pretend to be him it only makes me angry!"

"Fine, don't believe me. Though I would like you to tell me how you got through my troops, gribbit!" the Frog King demanded.

"Your troops were pathetic. I could have taken them with one hand behind my back," Cyrus replied, "Now hand over the girl."

"L-Liar!" the Frog King yelled back, unable to believe what he has just heard, "I spent years building up that army, there's no way you could have taken them so easily, especially not alone, gribbit! You're just one knight!"

"That's beside the point," Cyrus shot back, "Now release the girl or I'll have no choice but to finish the job I started five years ago."

Hearing Cyrus mention the girl, the Frog King realized he still had one last card.

"That's right, I have a hostage, don't I?" he said to Cyrus, who retained a straight face, "Listen here, either you drop your sword and kiss the ground, or we kill the girl, gribbit."

Cyrus merely smirked as the Frog King said the last part. "Remember when you asked how your army could fall against one simple knight?" he asked.

"What's your point, gribbit?" the Frog King inquired.

"Your army is only half as pathetic as you thought."

"What do you mean by that?"

Cyrus took a deep breath. "Glenn, NOW!"

Suddenly, the naga-ette to Fiona's left was kicked forward, falling face first to the ground in front of Cyrus, allowing him to finish it off with a stab to the throat. The other one was stabbed through the heart and shoved to the right.

"What the hell!?" the Frog King exclaimed.

"Now that your hostage is safe, it looks like you'll need to hand us the Hero's Medal," Cyrus told him and Glenn walked forward to untie the ropes that Fiona was bound with.

The Frog King wasn't about to hand over the medal; in fact, he was prepared to fight Cyrus to the death. This was the man responsible for stabbing him, and thinking about taking Cyrus down himself made the Frog King realize that he should have just fought Cyrus in the first place rather than having his minions do the dirty work.

"So, you want the Hero's Medal, dear knight of the kingdom?" he began, "Well come and take it, if you can, gribbit!"

Cyrus, of course, wasn't intimidated. "Prepare yourself, pollywog! En guarde!"

"Nirvana strike!"

Within a single second, Cyrus had dashed over to the Frog King, sliced a few inches into his stomach and leapt back.

"GRAAAACK!" the Frog King screamed in agony as he quickly reached for his wound and covered it with his hands.

"How dare you pick on a helpless amphibian!" he exclaimed, "Filthy medal! I won't forget this!"

With that, the Frog King threw the Hero's Medal at Cyrus, landing right in front of him. The Frog King then ran to his right, the green t'poles follwing close behind.

Cyrus dropped down to pick up the medal. At long last, it was recovered.


590 AD

"Cyrus!" Glenn shouted as his woke up with a start.

He sat up in his spot, taking in his surroundings. Clearly, he was in a forest. It looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it; he was too busy trying to remember what happened earlier.

"So you're awake, gribbit," Glenn heard from behind him, "That was a nasty fall you suffered, gribbit."

"A fall?" Glenn thought.

Suddenly, all the memories from the day before came rushing back. Glenn looked at his arms. They were a pale green color.

"How about it, Magus? Can't you give him a more fitting form?"

Those words spoken by the fat green monster Ozzie rang through Glenn's head as he realized that he had truly become a frog. However, that wasn't the worst part about the situation, nor was the Masamune being broken in half. His best friend since his childhood had been killed by a thunder and fire level two combo courtesy of the fiendlord Magus right in front of him.

Glenn didn't even realize that he was crying by the time he heard the voice call out to him again. "Are you alright, gribbit?"

Glenn turned around to meet a small green t'pole. "I take it thou art thy one whom recovered mine body after yesterday's events."

"Yesterday?" the t'pole said in confusion, "You were out for three days, gribbit!"

Glenn looked down with his eyes closed. "By any chance hath thou found a knight by mine body?"

"I think, gribbit. There was a suit of armor with a skeleton inside nearby, and there was a broken sword hilt next to it, gribbit," the t'pole informed him.

"May I see it then?" Glenn asked as he looked up with his new large and yellow eyes. It took a lot to make Glenn focus on something besides the fact he had just transformed into a frog, but the events that occurred three days prior on the Denadoro Mountains were enough to do that.

"Sure, come with me, gribbit," the small frog told him, "This will work out well since the Frog King has been waiting for you."

"The Frog King?" Glenn thought, "So these must be the Cursed Woods."


The green t'pole had led Glenn into a small area with bushes and trees surrounding it. There was now a private environment for him to confront the Frog King. Lying in front of the humongous frog was a suit of armor containing a skeleton with a hilt next to it. The Frog King held on to the Hero's Medal.

"So, it appears that I'm not the only one Magus has given this form to," the Frog King began, "I can tell that you were once a human. In fact, I can tell that you were one of the knights that slaughtered my troops."

Glenn's eyes shot up in surprise. "Thou knoweth my identity, how did thee discover it?"

"Look at yourself, gribbit. You have the same clothing as before you transformed."

It was true, although the clothing was quite a bit looser now thanks to his transformation, Glenn was still outfitted in a golden breastplate, a dark green cape, teal gloves with boots of the same color and a pair of white pants.

"Isn't it obvious, gribbit? You were transformed into a frog by that fiend, so you may want to go after him and get your original body back," the Frog King told him, "I realized that you were quite strong, so here's the deal, gribbit; the only way to become human again is to kill Magus by your own hand, so only one of us can get our body back."

"Get to thy point," Glenn impatiently replied, "Just allow me to lay mine friend to rest and hand over thy medal."

"You have actually brought me to my next point," the Frog King informed him, "You and your friend here were strong enough to take out all my troops easily, gribbit. I think that if anyone could defeat Magus, it would be you. However, I want you to bring Magus to me in near-death condition so I can finish him off. Do this for me, and I'll let you have your way, gribbit."

Glenn glared at him angrily. "I don't care about that right now! Handeth over thy medal, it was Cyrus'!"

The Frog King chuckled. "Don't you understand? This medal was mine first."

"What art thy talking about!?" Glenn exclaimed, "Thy medal was Prince Guardia's before you stole it!"

"Don't you get it?" the Frog King shot back, "I AM Prince Guardia!"

"This is not amusing! Thy King and thy Queen lost Prince Guardia to Magus!" Glenn shouted.

"No, they pushed me away just because I was a frog!" he shouted back at Glenn.

"Enough with your lies, beast! Thy Queen would never do anything like that!"

"Fine, don't believe me. It doesn't change the fact that I have your friend's body right here. If you want it, you will help me first. After all, you will listen to me since you're a knight and I'm the prince, gribbit."

Glenn sighed. "Very well. Show me where to leave thine woods, and I shall do this for thee. However"

The Frog King grinned the moment Glenn accepted his offer and held the Hero's Badge out to him. "I knew you'd go through with this, my loyal knight."


590 AD The Northern Ruins

Somehow, Glenn had managed to slip away from the Frog King while he was leading Glenn to the exit. Glenn already knew how to get through the Cursed Woods, but he needed to get the Frog King away since, without any weapons and being in an unfamiliar form, the newly transformed frog was almost positive he would be defeated. After dragging Cyrus' suit of armor out of the forest whilst hiding in bushes to avoid being captured, Glenn escaped and eventually made it to the Northern Ruins with Cyrus' body.

Thankfully, the Northern Ruins contained a wide empty room for him to lay Cyrus to rest. There was even a hole on the floor big enough to fit a human body through.

"Cyrus, I guess this really is goodbye," he said to his dead friend once his remains were placed in the proper spot, tears coming out of his eyes, "I am not sure what to do without you Cyrus..."

Reaching in his pocket, the anthropomorphic frog pulled out the Hero's Medal. "Am I really deserving of this?" he thought.

For a minute Glenn comtemplated whether to leave it with Cyrus or keep it with himself as a reminder of his friend. Just then, the carptenters he hired to help him bury Cyrus and place a tombstone came through the door. "Mr. Frog, are you ready for us to work on the room?"

Glenn nodded. "Yes. Go ahead."

With that, Glenn stepped outside the room and allowed them to work on the room. He sighed as he thought of what interaction with humans would be like from now on. He didn't look menacing like the Frog King; in fact, he looked pretty silly to the point the carpenters he came across were laughing in his face, pointing out the hilarity of a talking frog. Other humans really didn't seem to mind him for being a frog; they seemed to be more interested in why he was carrying around his best friend's corpse around to be buried. Would things be fine if he stepped foot in Guardia Castle? After pondering these questions for a few hours, the middle-aged man came out. "The tombstone is set up. Would you like to write something on it or anything?"

Glenn stepped through without answering. He observed the room with its new dark green carpet and gray tombstone in the middle. "This is what it should say..."

Here lies Cyrus

562 AD-590 AD

Hero of Guardia

The perfect knight

And most of all,

The best friend one could ask for


Legendary Biologist:

--- Quote ---I guess everyone is their own worst critic.
--- End quote ---
Truth be told, this is why I haven't been updating In Search of the Past at FFnet. :| I have sworn enemies in writing: description, pacing, and prepositions. They make me skeptical with the quality of my recent writing.

Anyway, if I may be really long-winded in reviewing this time! :lol:

Magus is evil here. Really, so evil when dealing with the Prince of Guardia. He is fitting as a villain-who-needs-a-punch-on-the-face IMO. So arrogant to the Prince and later saying that he wants to try out the new spell that turns someone into a frog. Characterization is clear there!

I pity the Prince as nobody believed him. His own family wanted him to be dead, which wasn't good for him anymore.

Also, the Frog King seemed to be manipulative and vengeful later on. But I think it's just fitting; getting hunted down just because of different looks, it was just right. I can feel the annoyance when someone 'judges a book by its cover'.

The conversation during the confrontation with Frog King is realistic in terms of battle speech. Taunting each other and asking for a deal (or ransom) are what that really strong here, so excellent job there!

Again, it seems like Glenn still can't trust the Frog King, while actually he is speaking the truth. The last part is moving. It just immediately brought me to FMAB Roy crying in Hughes' funeral (although here is clearly different from it, but the friendship between Glenn and Cyrus is like Roy and Hughes).

There's just a few typos (misspellings) in this flashback, which can be easily spotted by a reread or using a spellcheck. One concrit I can offer is, while I feel sympathetic to the Frog King by his back story, you can further strengthen this 'sympathetic' feeling by adding the Frog King's emotion at the moment the King and Queen rejected him. Maybe add some Frog King's internal thoughts at that part? :)

There's just an odd feeling when Glenn was able to bury Cyrus. I just wonder how can Glenn carry Cyrus' corpse while dealing with the Frog King. Maybe he returned to the spot where Cyrus died after running away from Frog King?

All in all, I thoroughly enjoy this and thanks for posting the preview! :D I'll probably leave a longer review at FFnet once you post the entire chapter there.  :lol:

Thanks for the input, I pretty much rushed the last part because I really wanted to get this out already. I'll be sure to use your feedback as a guide for the final version of the chapter  :)
Also, I enjoy "In Search of the Past", don't sell yourself short with it ;)

Here's the final version. Enjoy: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8510472/8/Crono-Returns

Did you publish the next chapter? I want to know what happens!!!


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