This 1 A.D. song is easily your best so far. You're starting to improve.
Really? You think so? I seem to think it's lacking something, though I can't determine what it is. I think it lacks...well, I can't place my finger on it.
Personally I like Sheltering Light, but whatever.
~.C.S.~
All your work so far has the mark of a novice, but this is the first piece that managed to get away from the choppy strings and pursue a coherent melody. If you ask me what the song is "missing," I'd say:
1. A countermelody or orchestral support to flesh out the main theme. The song sounds lonely with just a handful of identifiable instruments like the upper and lower strings and the drum trying to sound like much more than they are. You started out with another plucked string instrument in the beginning, and something similar appears later on as nonmelodic support; maybe bring it back throughout the song more often and give it a meatier role in the melody. This style of song would also love to see woods and reeds. (Or you could change the character entirely by adding brass.)
2. A third section. The song has two main parts to it, a dominant theme and an emphatic follow-up, but they don't sit like a full meal by themselves. The third section would introduce new melodic ideas and add complexity to the overall theme of the piece. You would splice it in between the existing song at 1'26".
3. A couple of key shifts. At times the music sounds like it wants to go somewhere, like at 0'55"--actually you could do it in any number of places--and when this doesn't happen it diminishes the tonal depth of the song.
Your previous songs just couldn't get past the choppy strings, the lack of melody, and the fact that the instruments wouldn't come together into a unified whole. But now this latest work of yours is beginning to sound like real music, which I find encouraging! I even downloaded it with the intention of considering it for addition to my permanent library.
In any case, none of this matters. It's all academic critique. I'd rather see you continue putting your efforts into new music, leaving the songs you have already accomplished well enough alone. They're not suitable for building your skills further, and they do make an interesting measure of your progress as a composer.
