Author Topic: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn  (Read 1029 times)

alfadorredux

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Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« on: July 26, 2011, 10:03:39 pm »
I'm posting this because the actual author of this story, a good friend of mine, is too damned modest to promote her fanfics nearly as much as they deserve. She's written a (very long) tale centering around Magus, and it's pretty good, arguments about how many people can actually fit in the Epoch and in what configuration notwithstanding.

Start here for author's notes: http://meejit.envy.nu/thelibrary/animfic/chrtnote.html
or here to plunge directly into Part 1: http://meejit.envy.nu/thelibrary/animfic/chrt1.html

FaustWolf

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Re: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2011, 03:01:40 am »
Whoa, so Magus gets drunk with Flea and Slash in this? Talk about one for the history books! I'd totally make Flea and Slash my drinking buddies.  

Adventurous material aside, your friend definitely has a gift for grammar -- I was quite impressed with the verb choices. This is someone who should be encouraged to keep sharpening their writing talent, judging from the peek I had at Part I. Thanks for sharing!

TheMage

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Re: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2011, 12:00:48 am »
Not done reading it yet but I love it so far! Your friend is a very good writer and I like her take on mystics such as the metamorphases and there over all culture and way of life. Plus I like that Magus is kinda close to Flea and Slash :D

Lady Marle

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Re: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2011, 04:47:49 pm »
This fanfic has Marle's stamp of approval. Huzzah!  8)

maggiekarp

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Re: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2012, 06:10:13 pm »
Whew. Sorry for late response, but... long fic.

What I liked:
- The scene in the first part where Magus wakes up naked eating raw liver. I demand that be a scene in every Chrono series fanwork from now until eternity, regardless of context.
- Mystics eating humans is actually addressed for once!
- Magus didn't get in an arbitrary romantic relationship with Lucca, even though you hinted at it so hard.
- Magus didn't get in an arbitrary romantic relationship with his youthful ward, Gil, even though you hinted at it so hard.
- Gil/Alfador as Guile. Despite the bizarre origin it's a lot funnier and easier to accept than canon.
- Anachronism-spouting Magus was fun.
- Interesting and plausible theories on the nature of Lavos and the Frozen Flame. Definitely stealing some of it.
- The prose in general was solid. An addictive read.

What I could do without/what makes me go "ehh":
- Inappropriate anachronisms, or popular sayings that sound really cool being used in the wrong context. I can't site a specific example, though.
- [glow=2,300]Magus's sexual attraction to Schala played off like him being like an average horny teenager instead of an creepy old self-imposed autistic like the rest of the story portrayed him as. I don't mind that it was there, it just didn't feel like it played out right.[/glow]
- The Belthesar's Children suplot. It kinda came out of nowhere and didn't feel necessary. Everything else that happened could still happen without those characters and would have been more concise.
- The wind-down and conclusion felt kind of rushed/depressing. There wasn't any closure for half the characters in the last few parts, and the Epilogue was ridiculously short compared to the rest of the story, and didn't really tell us much besides "and so Magus went on to different timelines, never retained any lessons about the nature of his sister, Lavos, or even himself, and also is slowly going crazy from too many memories". It reminded me of every closing paragraph I've done for a late paper, so I'm kind of sensitive to it.



Take my crits with a grain of salt, though. I still drained my cell batteries reading this from work.

alfadorredux

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Re: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2012, 07:23:44 pm »
I'll pass all that on to the author (I'm just the beta reader/plot sounding board/publicist). I do know that, at one point, she had a rather different epilogue planned (with Magus not moving on from the second universe, and then meeting up with a reincarnation of Schala a few centuries on and developing an Actual Relationship with her), but she couldn't get the characters to head in that direction or something. Judging from some of the emails we exchanged while she was working on the last part of the 'fic, it's probably lucky it got finished at all.

maggiekarp

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Re: Dreams of a Faraway Dawn
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2012, 11:17:27 pm »
Well the obvious solution to that is to have Radical Dreamers Kid fall in love with Magus as Magil and wish him to be human using the Amulet!