So I serenaded the pigeons today...
(FYI, in case you didn't know it already, a pigeon couple barged into my kitchen months ago and made a nest there to lay eggs; ever since then they refused to move, so we just left em there. Now those eggs have hatched, and the chicks are so adorable!)There it was, the nest abundant with melodic chirping of infant chicks; it was a sweet morning! Something about the chirping made your heart leap with joy. With my violin at hand, but using it as a ukulele (you can't explain that), I decided to cherish the morning and share my love with the new-born miracles of life.
And the mommy pigeon eyed me cautiously, like I was some hobo in a van trying to give her kids free candy.
"Greetings, madame of beauty!" I sang. "You look lovely this morn!"
"Hoooor," she croaked suspiciously.
"Ah, the little infants of joy! You have come to life in this wonderful world of ours with infinite possibilities. Be! Be what you wanna be, take to the skis and claim the winds as your own! This song is for you, my children."
The chicks chirped joyfully, but the mother set her eyes on my head, pondering which way my brain is most vulnerable.
But I sang anyway:
"My daddy told me,
'You're my biggest mistake,
Your responsibility makes me guilty;
In the face of a chiselled soap, boy,
You turned out to be suds. Suds! SUDS!!' YOOWW!!
Fly, fly birdy fly, birdy fly, pretty fly,
Fly, Fly birdy fry, pretty fly!
Fly, fly birdy fly, birdy fly, pretty fly,
Fly, Fly birdy fry, pretty fly!"
My voice boomed into the not-so-spacious caverns of my own kitchen, and the chicks began to chirp crazily while the mom panicked for a way out but returned again for her babies. They loved me, didn't they? My songs gave them the passion to do the impossible! My delusions vanished when I was hit with a pointed beak. And I sang:
"Oh by God, that hurts;
Why? Who? What?
Saw it was just a bowl,
observed, 'twas a well.
So small, you seem, like a mousey,
I caught your tail, you turned out to be a snake...
Snake! SNAKE!!! YOWW!!
Hey, hey!
Who robbed who exactly,
How'd someone break his head,
How should I know?
Bro, I don't got a clue!
All I know is you need to run,
As fast as you can,
Coz a big mouth monter's chasing us,
a hurricane's here with a message...
YOWWW.... OWWW! HEY! OWW!!"
Apparently the birds loved me so much that they were too eager to peck me affectionately. The barrage of attacks, be they from affection, was enough to not only make the mom pigeon panic around the kitchen but also injure me sufficiently that I slipped into unconsciousness.
Fly, fly birdy fly, birdy fly, pretty fly...