Author Topic: Park Your Amusements Here  (Read 98677 times)

Truthordeal

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #240 on: April 21, 2010, 05:05:32 pm »
I think we give Michael Jackson as an actor too little credit, as a funny though occurred to me in English today...

It must've been super awkward doing the acting for Space Jam, as much of it was CGI, with one or two other humans in the whole movie.

Thought

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #241 on: April 21, 2010, 05:14:07 pm »
True, Captain Eo was a great "movie"

Lord J Esq

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #242 on: April 21, 2010, 05:54:21 pm »
@ Faust: That's awesome.

Lord J Esq

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #243 on: April 22, 2010, 01:04:02 am »
To all you knickerbockers who think Zen is so deep, I too can crank this stuff out:


The Tale of the Vagrant

To the vagrant I said: The place you are looking for is the place you would be if you understood why you are here. And the vagrant said to me: This makes sense, but adds nothing, for it merely tells me that I am a vagrant. Therefore to the vagrant I said: If you understand that you are a vagrant, then you understand that you do not understand, and thus you are wise, for you are where you need to be. So the vagrant replied: But I am still not where I want to be. And I concluded: Then you must leave without delay, and I wish you well.



See, there's a formula to it: Take a how or a what, make it a why, contradict the premise, and congratulate yourself. Zen is deep, all right: deep like a swimming pool fixed between a wading pool and the ocean. If you find it overwhelming, that is a testament to where you're coming from. I don't mind that people find it deep. I do mind when they imply it is deep as well. No, it's not. The ocean is deep.

Thought

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #244 on: April 22, 2010, 02:38:47 pm »
While that is a splendid example, I can't help but be reminded of the ineffable wisdom of Captain Hammer: “So you’re wondering what your part is, since you’re homeless and depressed. Well home is where the heart is, so your real home’s in your chest.”

Lord J Esq

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #245 on: April 28, 2010, 03:53:20 am »
As I was walking home from the grocery store this afternoon, I stopped at a red light with a smile on my face--not because of the light, but because it was a nice afternoon. There was a guy next to me on his bike, waiting for the light to turn. He caught my smile just as the light had turned green, and said, "Jesus lives, and he is the answer! Peace be with you!" And with that he rode along his way.

Thought

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #246 on: April 30, 2010, 04:22:01 pm »
I had an appointment with the vet today at noon, to get my guinea pig squeakers checked out (his brother, the majestic Mr. Squishy, passed away this last weekend). I was running late so in the car I called to let them know. Before I could tell them I was put on hold. So I waited. And waited. And waited. When they finally came back, this is a summary of the exchange:

Them: "Thank you for waiting, how can I help you?"
Me: "Well I had called to let you know I would be late for my appointment, but at this point, hello!"

At which point I walked in.

Lord J Esq

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #247 on: April 30, 2010, 07:49:20 pm »
Alas, poor Mr. Squishy.

FaustWolf

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #248 on: April 30, 2010, 09:52:19 pm »
Sorry to hear that Thought. Let's all drink to Squeakers' continued health!

GenesisOne

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #249 on: April 30, 2010, 10:56:10 pm »

Alas, poor Mr. Squishy.

I knew him not, Lord Jaytio.

Zephira

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #250 on: May 04, 2010, 06:52:52 pm »
So you all know about my recent foray into Greek mythology. I've been seeing references to it everywhere.  The funniest one? Spongebob. Almost every episode has some fishperson praying to or swearing by Neptune. When Neptune actually shows up, he's portrayed very accurately (aside from the obsession with burgers). The best line: (referring to a big storm) "Huh, Neptune must be angry tonight." "That's silly, everyone knows Poseidon's king of the sea!" Its the same person, the Romans just gave him a different name.

Lord J Esq

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #251 on: May 06, 2010, 12:41:44 am »
The last dream I was having before I woke up today was of me in my apartment. It was stiflingly hot and I couldn't breathe enough. I went out onto the balcony for some cool air, but there were some people outside by the pool. Since I was undressed, modesty sent me back inside. It was unbearable! So hot! No air to breathe! My nose was dry and it was as if my lungs wouldn't open. I felt like I was suffocating. I went to get a glass of cold water to dispel the heat, but there was a huge electric arc on the faucet of my sink, and I dared not touch it lest I electrocute myself. Finally I decided to flee the apartment completely. I began to get dressed, but as I put on my clothes the heat became even worse, and I couldn't breathe at all...

So I woke up. It turns out I had been sleeping in a very weird position that had caused me to not be able to breathe enough. I had literally been asphyxiating myself! I immediately got up, just to get out of bed and move around, and spent the next five minutes or so taking deep breaths through the mouth. Usually that gives me an unpleasant buzz, but this time it was a welcome relief. =/

So why is that miniature little horror story amusing? Because my wish had come true in the best possible way. When I had been succumbing to heat and lack of air in my dream, I decided to flee my apartment. But, in getting dressed, I couldn't make it. Then I woke up, however, and achieved maximum deliverance: total escape from an oppressive reality. You know how in the stories people sometimes say "I wish this were all some bad dream"? Well, it's very gratifying when that turns out to be true, and you can wake up from it. =)

FaustWolf

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #252 on: May 06, 2010, 02:04:28 am »
Huge thunderbolts dropping just outside the house; Weather Channel continues to report a "pollen alert" for the local area.

This stuff ain't pollen, yo!

EDIT: HOLY SHEEEIT! UPS' are awesome. A direct hit to the power, and the Chrono Compendium came back on without missing a beat! That's impressive. But she can't hold out much longer, captain! This damn "pollen!"

*garbled static*
« Last Edit: May 06, 2010, 02:07:48 am by FaustWolf »

FaustWolf

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #253 on: May 08, 2010, 12:27:54 am »
Jeez, did I just post about storms here yesterday!? Well then -- I'll make it my duty to document every storm I live through here this summer. For the, uh, scientific record! Yeah! Because I find documenting an event, live, highly amusing.

Haha! Another direct hit to the power as I was typing this, and the Compendium came right back up thanks to my UPS! I'm starting to feel that my computer is invincible as long as I'm logged in here, mwahaha!

Just wanted to be sure everyone living in the US here knew about:
http://www.weather.com/  

If you're ever wondering what the hell's happening weather-wise and you don't want to flip on the TV for whatever reason, just enter your zip code in there and you can find the latest barrage of weather alerts. Apprently the National Weather Service has made up for its "pollen alert" yesterday with snap updates of severe weather in my area. It's pretty freaky how quickly these storms can pop up.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2010, 12:38:00 am by FaustWolf »

Lord J Esq

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Re: Park Your Amusements Here
« Reply #254 on: May 08, 2010, 07:27:04 am »
If you're a complete weather fiend like I am, Faust, the NWS provides excellent information (although it takes a little more effort to read) and is the source of most (but not all) private weather reporting. Nevertheless, I do use a Firefox weatherbug based on data from The Weather Channel. I turn on the forecast as far out as it'll go, and I turn off the severe weather alerts--although you might like to keep those on if you mean to liveblog summer storms.

Laptop computers are excellent for use in power fluctuations, because they have built-in battery power that's always available. Unless you run out! D=