Author Topic: The Real World - Chrono Trigger  (Read 14767 times)


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #45 on: November 18, 2009, 05:09:36 pm »
I now present to you the next episode in all its unadulterated glory.  Enjoy. :D

NARRATOR:   Now for the story of seven people from different eras, all living under one roof.  Most of them have magic, but they still manage to screw up and get on each other’s nerves in…

“The Real World – Chrono Trigger.”

EPISODE EIGHT: Jail-bird Crono, Frog's Mistake, and Lucca’s Déjà Vu


Crono and Robo sit amongst other lowlifes and thugs.  Their weapons are confiscated.

NARRATOR:    Crono and Robo had been put into custody for accidentally destroying a section of the courthouse roof during Lucca’s lawsuit trial with Norstein Bekkler.  Their sentence would begin the following morning, and their preliminary hearing would be in three months.

ROBO:   Crono, why do humans imprison whom they speculate to be guilty as swiftly as  possible, but the trial for their innocence takes magnitudes longer?

CRONO:   How should I know?  It’s not like I give a crap.

ROBO:     A hostile response was not was I was inquiring after.

CRONO:   Robo, just go into sleep mode or whatever it is you do!  I’m trying to think.

A thug in a black headband, crew cut, and fingerless gloves approaches Crono.

THUG:        Nice head piece.  Who’s your buddy? (Points to Robo)

CRONO:   Don’t even go there.

THUG:        You trying to start something?  ‘Cause I’m game if you are. (Cracks his knuckles)

The other thugs spot the potential skirmish and back against the walls of the cell.

CRONO:   First of all, I’m not game for anything.  Even if I were, you’re in for an epic fail.  So once again, don’t even go there.

THUG:        You ain’t so tough without your sword.  I saw ‘em take it away.

CRONO:   (Stands up, faces the thug) I don’t need a sword to wipe the floor with you.

THUG:        Then prove it, Richard Simmons.

CRONO:   Sure thing, Liberace.

Crono and the Thug grab each other by their shirts and proceed to punch each other.

ROBO:   (Stands up) Crono, if I recall our code of ethics, we’re not allowed to use—

THUG:   Can it, stove pipe!  This guy’s mine!

Robo’s eyes glow red. He bounds forward and grabs the thug by his shirt.

ROBO:   Who are you calling a stove pipe, you meat sack?

GUARD:   (Off Camera) Hey! Break it up!

Robo, Crono, and the Thug turn to see three guards approach the holding cell. Each of them whips out an extendable riot baton.  One of them proceeds to open the cell door.

NARRATOR:    Fortunately, the guards were more than ready to deal with inter-prison race wars between two whites and a bronze.

CRONO:   I’m in for a long night.


Everybody loafs around, except Lucca who sits at the table crunching some numbers.

NARRATOR:    Back at the apartment, everybody except Magus and Ayla didn’t seem to care about Crono’s and Robo’s predicament.  

Magus had already shown his altruism once for directing the team to the Chrono Trigger, so he felt that he filled his obligation.  Ayla, however, had never heard of prison before because it didn’t exist in her era.

LUCCA:   (To herself) Then I add these columns from the deductibles summed over here…

MARLE:   Lucca, it’s getting kinda late.  It’s not we can do anything about his bail.

LUCCA:   Yes, we can!  I got it all figured out.  They set each of their bails for 300,000.  Your father’s loaded, and Crono did save his kingdom, so we can always ask him.

MARLE:   I don’t know if it’s gonna work, but I’ll try.

CUT TO: Marle talks on the phone ad-lib.

NARRATOR:    Unfortunately, Marle’s father, King Guardia XXXIII, was still a little bent out of shape about his daughter giving him spicy jerky in spite of his high blood pressure.

Marle proceeds to hang up the phone.  Frog enters.

FROG:   Marle, mayhaps I may converse with his Highness and persuade him to offer leave for Crono’s imprisonment.

MARLE:   Do you even know how to work a phone, Frog?

 FROG:   Posh!  Since mine arrival to this new land, I’ve befallen privy to the arts of communicating over yonder lengths.  By my troth, I shall convince his Highness.

MARLE:   *Sigh* If you say so.  Here, I’ll dial in his private number.

Marle dials the numbers while Frog holds the piece to his ear.  Marle exits.  

The phone rings.  Frog answers ad-lib.  He looks confused over the shouting on the phone.

NARRATOR:    Frog’s act of persuasion, however, was in vain.  He thought that Marle was dialing for King Guardia XXI, the King of Frog’s era.  That King, however, was long dead, and instead, Frog got his great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great- great-great-grandson, King Guardia XXXIII.

Frog scans around. He quietly hangs up the phone.  He sneaks away, looking embarrassed.


Everybody is gathered on the couches and chairs.  Lucca stands before them with a clipboard.

NARRATOR:    Meanwhile, Lucca had come to a sad conclusion from all her calculations.

LUCCA:   Bad news, gang.  Looks like Crono and Robo won’t make bail after all.

MARLE:   What are you talking about?

FROG:   How be it so, dear Lucca?

MAGUS:   Chalk one up for positive thinking, except for Robo.

AYLA:   When do Ayla get spare buck skin back?

LUCCA:   As it turns out, even if we did get the money, it’s exchange rate would be equal to a little over 100 dollars.

MARLE:   My idiot father and his inflation rates!  No wonder we’re failing as a kingdom!  We might as well go bust them out ourselves!

Lucca drops her clipboard.  She staggers back against the TV, begins to suffer a panic attack.

Everybody except Magus rushes to her side and picks her up.  She doesn’t move.  The group carries Lucca to her bedroom and sets her down on her bed.


Marle enters with a heated damp towel and lays it on a sleeping Lucca’s forehead.  She awakes.

MARLE:   Oh, thank the Entity you’re up.  What happened back there?

LUCCA:   I was suffering from a little Déjà Vu.  I thought that I put it all behind me.

MARLE:   Put what all behind you?  What were you remembering?

Lucca does not reply, but stares at the ceiling with a blank expression.

MARLE:   Come on, Lucca!  What were you remembering?

LUCCA:   ... Marle?

MARLE:   Yes?

LUCCA:   (Silence, then…) Get me my Zonker-38.


« Last Edit: November 18, 2009, 05:17:21 pm by GenesisOne »


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #46 on: November 23, 2009, 05:11:10 pm »

Perhaps the reason that this new format isn't as popular as the original "Real World" is because of what one might claim to be Narrative Intrusion.

However, the third-person omniscient narrator provides the colorful commentary to help bring the comic potential of each scene he/she appears in.

Imagine yourself saying the narrator's lines (you'll most likely do so when you ready these two new additions).  Then say them out loud.  I bet it'll help.

I'll be working on Epiosde Nine.  It should be out before the end of the week.


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #47 on: November 26, 2009, 08:45:51 am »
I've gotta hand it to you.  This dialogue is some of the best I've seen in any CT fan-fic, and I don't give such praise lightly.  You've really got a feel for these characters.  I eagerly await future installments.


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #48 on: November 27, 2009, 02:11:28 pm »
Ha!  Despite a busy Thanksgiving day, I’m a man of my word, and here’s the word:

Enjoy!  :D

NARRATOR:   Now for the story of seven people from different eras, all living under one roof.  Most of them have magic, but they still manage to screw up and get on each other’s nerves in…

“The Real World – Chrono Trigger.”

EPISODE NINE: Lucca’s Relapse, Robo’s Epiphany, and Magus Volunteers


Lucca unrolls a blue print on the table top and examines it.  Marle examines as well.

NARRATOR:   Ever since learning about Crono’s and Robo’s sentence and Marle giving her two cents about breaking him out in lieu of bail, Lucca had a sudden case of Déjà Vu.  After an hour of napping, she woke up to formulate her plan with Marle’s help.

LUCCA:   Okay, from what I can get here, the prison walls are 20 feet high with reinforced steel interiors and armed guards on each tower post.  Now, the doors are digital locks that requires a—

MARLE:   Um, Lucca?

LUCCA:   (still scanning the blueprints) Yeah?

MARLE:      Where did you get these?

LUCCA:      Robo e-mailed them to me.

MARLE:      Okay, where did he get them?

LUCCA:   He said he scanned an image of them on a table next to… the… Supervisor…

A blank expression forms on Lucca’s face. She falls backwards to the ground.  Marle springs up and fans Lucca’s face.

NARRATOR:   Lucca had just suffered another case of Déjà Vu, except she wasn’t fighting a Dragon Tank with the plans.  She was busting Crono out.

Ayla enters the kitchen working her biceps with a 50-lb barbell in each hand.

AYLA:   Ayla hear boom in food room.  What happen?

MARLE:   Lucca’s just suffering from Déjà Vu.  

AYLA:   (stops pumping iron) … What … Day Jaw Boo?  New Reptite enemy?

MARLE:   Just forget it.  Go get a damp towel, okay?

AYLA:   … towel?

MARLE:   *Ugh*  Go to tiny water hole, get fur skin wet, bring for Lucca.  

AYLA:   Okay.

Ayla exits the room and heads for the kitchen.  Marle continues to fan Lucca.

NARRATOR:   While Marle dealt with both Lucca’s relapse and Ayla’s vocabulary…


An empty cell with a cast-iron door.  The door opens.  Two guards toss Crono and Robo into the cell. Crono wears a straight-jacket while Robo dons a restraining bolt.

NARRATOR:   Crono and Robo were dealing with a new layer to their imprisonment.

The guards shut the door and lock it.  A lone window lets the moonlight in.

CRONO:   (Struggling to his feet) *Argh!* What is your malfunction, Robo!?  The “meat sack” bit, I can understand… but attacking a human?

ROBO:   I wasn’t attacking him.  Merely intimidating him.  

CRONO:      You grabbed the guy’s suit and lifted him off the ground!

ROBO:   My initial actions were summed up in a line of coding I found on my hard drive.

CRONO:   (Now on his feet) What coding?

ROBO:   …

NARRATOR:   Since explaining it to Crono would be like teaching Algebra to a kid just learning his “take-aways,” here’s what the line of coding looks like:

'Robo Intimidates Human
    Sub IntimidateHuman_JudgementInitiated ()
        ' assess the situation
        If (ImmediateThreat.Enabled = TRUE) Then
            IntimidateHuman ()   
        If (ImmediateThreat.Enabled =FALSE) Then
            DoNotIntimidateHuman ()   
        ResetForFutureThreat ()   
    End If
End Sub

ROBO:      I am left to ponder as to how I obtained this line of coding.

Robo pauses.  He stands up and walks over to the window.  He stares up at the full moon.

NARRATOR:   Little to Robo’s current memory capacity, that sentence was a backdoor password that triggered a hidden Epiphany sub-sequence on his hard drive.

ROBO:   Did you know that Paul Gauguin once said, “Who are we, where did we come from, and where are we going?” All I remember was that I came from a super computer from the distant future.  It was there that you, Marle, and Lucca—

Crono heaves a sigh, walks over to the wall and starts banging his head against it.

GUARD:   (Outside the cell) Quit making noise in there!

NARRATOR:   While Crono had no choice in the matter…


Magus watches TV.  His program ends and he mutters a few mystical words under his breath.  The TV turns off.  He grabs his scythe.

NARRATOR:   Magus had plenty of choice in the following matter.

Marle and Lucca walk past him and towards the front door.  Lucca carries her satchel and her Zonker-38 at her side while Marle carries her best crossbow.

MAGUS:      And where are you two headed?

MARLE:      We’re going to bust Crono out.

LUCCA:      Not that you care.  Lock the door behind us when we leave.

MAGUS:      Actually, I care quite a bit.  I’m coming with you.

Magus walks past Marle and Lucca towards the front door.  A grin forms on his face.

MARLE:      Oh, so now you suddenly care about Crono?

MAGUS:      Of course I do.

NARRATOR:   He doesn’t.

LUCCA:      But weren’t you the one that called him a poor fool?

MAGUS:      Everything that happened at the North Cape is ancient history!  Drop it already!

MARLE:      Okay, okay.  No need to throw a tantrum over it.

 LUCCA:      Seriously, though.  Why the sudden change of heart?

MAGUS:      It’s been a while since I used my magic for something useful.

NARRATOR:   It had, in fact, only been since the previous afternoon during his duel with Ayla.

LUCCA:   Well, as long as it helps to bust him out, but you better not hurt anybody.

MAGUS:   Hey, this is me you’re talking to.  I’m a changed wizard.

NARRATOR:   He was… to a point, but they had no time to argue.

LUCCA:   Good.  I’ll clue you in on what we’re doing as we head there.

Magus, Marle, and Lucca exit out the front door.


The Epoch rests on a platform hidden off to the side of the roof.  A gangplank stretches out to it.

Magus, Marle, and Lucca step onto the rooftop.  Lucca extracts a remote key and presses a button. The Epoch beeps twice and the canopy opens up.  The three board the Epoch.

NARRATOR:   And with that, they were on their way… or so they thought.

FROG:   Pardon, venturing ones.  Whither thou goest at the witching hour?

MARLE:   We’re going to bust Crono out of prison.

FROG:      Mayhaps mine savvy with the blade be of benefit to thine daring plan.

NARRATOR:   Marle, being kind at heart, thought of the most sincere reason she could think of not to allow Frog to tag along.

MARLE:      Sorry, Frog.  The Epoch only seats three people.  Let’s go, Lucca!

Lucca closes the canopy on the Epoch.  A glum Frog plods back into the apartment.

Lucca starts the Epoch up and revs the engine.

LUCCA:   Well, gang, it’s midnight, we’re thirty miles from the super max prison, we’re on our reserve tank with half a bottle of ether, we haven’t showered, and we’re—

MAGUS:   Quit stalling!  Just go!

LUCCA:   … (to herself) Buzz kill.

NARRATOR:   Indeed, he was.

Lucca coasts the Epoch away from the gangplank.  The Epoch hovers away from the buildings and heads off for the super max prison.

*      *      *      *      *      *

NARRATOR:   On the next “The Real World – Chrono Trigger…”

Two guards smack Crono around with foam rubber sticks.  Another guard tweaks Robo’s restraining bolt as he continues his rumination.

NARRATOR:   The guards teach a lesson to Crono for banging his head against a prison wall.  They also make good use of Robo’s restraining bolt.

ROBO:   And then, of course, there’s those floor plans to the super max prison which I gave  to Marle and not… thisholdingcell

Robo’s eyes turn dark.  He slumps over, still standing there as stiff as a statue.

The first two guards quit beating up Crono.  All three leave the cell and lock the door behind them.

GUARD:   (outside) Next time, we bring the taser!  

The lights in the hallway shut off.  Crono’s eyes water up.

CRONO:   (to himself) Thanks for shutting him up… Thank you…


« Last Edit: December 02, 2009, 05:58:46 am by GenesisOne »


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #49 on: December 03, 2009, 03:13:55 pm »
This fic needs a bit more reader-love.

I like this format. The Omin-present/sometimes sarcastic narrator angle rocks. I use it all the time when I write parodies.

Speaking of which...


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #50 on: December 04, 2009, 03:32:57 pm »
This fic needs a bit more reader-love.

Indeed it does.

As such, I'm going to spruce things up a bit.

Here's a link to an mp3 file that the reader should play over the next installment in my series.  It's the theme song to the cancelled sitcom that inspired the new format of my fan fic: Arrested Development.

Watch the series online whenever you get the chance.  I guarantee you'll get a laugh out of it.


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #51 on: December 28, 2009, 05:40:12 pm »
We’ll be right back to reality and everything else that it’s burdened and blessed with.  But first, a word from our sponsor (yours truly), and here’s the word:

Enjoy!  :D

P.S. Play this over the intro to give yourself an introductory feel of the episode.

NARRATOR:   Now for the story of seven people from different eras, all living under one roof.  Most of them have magic, but they still manage to screw up and get on each others' nerves.

It’s “The Real World – Chrono Trigger.”

EPISODE TEN: Magus' Foil, Disastrous Duo, and Crono Houdini


Magus, Marle, and Lucca occupy the Epoch as it flies out towards the super max prison in the country side.  Lucca pilots the Epoch while everyone remains silent.

NARRATOR:   Magus had decided to tag along with Marle and Lucca in their carefully coordinated attempt to break Crono out of the prison he wasn’t in.

The ride there was the fun-filled equivalent of driving a hearse.  Until…

MARLE:   Okay, Magus.  What’s the deal?  

MAGUS:   What are you talking about?

MARLE:    You, wanting to come along to break out Crono and Robo on such short notice?  I don’t buy it.

MAGUS:   What’s there to buy?  I came along because I wanted to help out.

NARRATOR:   Lucca, being naturally curious and naturally skeptical, did a little detective work.

LUCCA:   You wanna use your shadow magic on the guards, don’t you?

MAGUS:   It’s a max security prison.  Trust me; they’ll be armed.

MARLE:   Um… yeah, we just need to stun them, not annihilate them.

MAGUS:   Well, we can always cross our fingers that they feel the same way.

NARRATOR:   Regardless of his sarcasm, it was the truth; the guards didn’t feel the same way.

CUT TO: A montage of guards patrolling the different cell blocks of a max security prison.  They holster stun guns, tasers, sting grenades, and semi-automatic rifles.

NARRATOR:   All the guards at the super max prison were trained to use lethal force in the case of an escaping convict.

CUT TO: A screening of The Shawshank Redemption using numerous televisions.  The screening is attended by new guards who are strapped down to their chairs and their eyes kept open using speculums. The new guards scream as doctors drip water into their eyes.

NARRATOR:   This was the result of having every new guard hired to watch The Fugitive using the Ludivico Technique, a fictional conditioning method used in A Clockwork Orange, the warden’s favorite film.  Unfortunately, the method subconsciously expanded to unwelcome guests.

BACK TO: The Epoch

MAGUS:   I’m just giving you a heads-up.

MARLE:   Maybe Magus has a point, Lucca.  We’re already this prepared for the plan.

LUCCA:   Not unless our very existence is at stake and they’re pointing M-80s at us, and even then, we use our magic conservatively.  We all understand?

NARRATOR:   This was ironic, seeing how Lucca was very liberal-minded.

MAGUS:   Don’t forget deer-hunting rifles… and stinger grenades. They’ll have those, too.

MARLE:   We still got ten miles to go, Lucca.  Maybe you’ll change your mind before then.

LUCCA:   (to herself) Fat chance.

NARRATOR:   I agree.

The Epoch continues towards the super max prison. Suddenly, an overhead Boeing 747 flies within feet of the Epoch.  Lucca executes a dropping barrel roll to avoid a collision.  Everyone on board screams as the Epoch clears the plane and levels out.

NARRATOR:   As the disagreeing trio were barely avoiding a disaster…


NARRATOR:   … a certain duo was about to engage in one.

Frog watches a rerun of a History Channel special on medieval knights.  The program depicts a knight holding a bloody sword over his head after slaying his opponent in jousting.

FROG:    (Frustrated) ‘Tis billycock!  What cause doth a knight carry to slay for sport?  Why doth death’s pale flag wave for these-these… charlatans to flex beneath? ‘Tis a macabre existence to embrace.

NARRATOR:   And yet, Frog did not feel a twinge of irony in his words.

CUT TO: Frog slaying a Mystic and doing his victory pose along with the others.


As Frog continues watching the dramatization of knights slaying their victims, the TV appears to morph into a Mystic.  Frog’s eyes fill up with passionate rage. He picks up his Masamune and unsheathes it.  He holds his sword above his head and stares at the TV.

Frog lets out a battle cry and performs Slurp Cut on the TV.  It breaks clean in half and ceases to function altogether.  He shuts his eyes and returns his Masamune to its scabbard.

NARRATOR:   In a brief lapse of sanity, Frog destroyed the group’s only means of not going insane, even though it was insanity that caused him to do it in the first place.

Frog opens his eyes and gasps at what he had done.  He runs up to the TV and tries to put it back together, but to no avail.

FROG:      No!  What ill fate caused mine self to react as such?

NARRATOR:    It wasn’t fate, but years of conditioning as a knight under Cyrus’ tutelage culminating into a severe hallucination similar to PTSD.  As if by coincidence, Cyrus used the Ludivico Technique on Glenn.

Ayla enters the living room eating a mutton.

AYLA:   (Mouth full of food) What green man scream about?

Ayla sees the broken TV and gasps.  She drops her mutton and vaults over the couch and lands next to Frog.  She begins to tear up.

AYLA:      Green man break all-seeing stone slab.  Ayla love stone slab, but you break it.

FROG:      Twas mitigating circumstances, I declare.

NARRATOR:   It wasn’t.

AYLA:      (Wipes her eyes) Green man find way to make things right!  Fix stone slab!

FROG:   Now, now, Ayla, thou knowest I canst perform such repair.  We needs be to summon an expert to replace this device.  But first, how shalt we dispose of it since its time has hastily expired?

Ayla stares at the broken TV, then at the window of their apartment.  She repeats this action.

CUT TO: Outside the Apartment

The two halves of the broken TV smashes through the window of the team’s apartment in a shower of glass and circuit boards.  The two halves land on the roof of a smaller building across the street.

BACK TO: Inside the Apartment

Ayla smacks her hands together.  Both Ayla and Frog perform their respective victory poses.

NARRATOR:   While Ayla and Frog celebrated a victory that was actually a failure…


Crono sits against the cell wall, exhausted still in his straight-jacket.  Robo is out cold due to his restrainer bolt.

NARRATOR:   … Crono was failing to obtain a victory, but his luck was about to change.

CRONO:   (to himself) Come on, Crono. You got the slack in and faked it. The guards bought it, and now they’re gone.  Round Two!

Pressing his back to the wall, Crono works his way to standing up.  Once standing, he works on popping his arms over his head.  After several tries, he succeeds.  

He then works on extracting his right arm from his sleeve and inching it down to the pelvic strap.  After ten minutes, he succeeds at unbuckling it.  Crono finally works on extracting his other arm from its sleeve and pulling his head down into the jacket.

Half an hour later, he succeeds at escaping his straightjacket.  He stomps on it, and he and Robo do their respective victory poses.

CRONO:      (Turns around) What the—?  Robo, how long have you been up?

NARRATOR:   Good question.

ROBO:   For about the last five minutes of your brilliant escape.  The restraining bolt actually induced a cold shut down in my systems.  When I woke up, all foreign subsequences and lines of coding in my systems were erased.

CRONO:   That’s great!  Now, how do we get out of here?

ROBO:   We wait until the Supervisor examines our good behavior over the next—

CRONO:   Screw the waiting! I mean, how are we gonna bust out of this cell?

ROBO:   I apologize, Crono, but such an act of defiance is against my ethics coding.

Crono face palms, leaves a mark on his forehead.

ROBO:   The exception being if we were being attacked by hostile forces…

Outside, the sound of light footfall comes from outside of their cell.  A few clicks and their cell door opens.  A group of guards enter with tasers and batons in hand.

CRONO:   Bring it on, ‘cause I’m pissed off!

*      *      *      *      *      *

NARRATOR:   On the next “The Real World – Chrono Trigger…”


An old woman in green facial packing, gown, and curlers lays into Ayla and Frog.  Two policemen stand behind her with their arms folded.

NARRATOR:   Ayla and Frog get a taste of their landlady’s wrath…

LAND LADY:   You better have a deposit on that TV, or else I’m kicking you and your weirdo spell-casting friends out!

FIRST OFFICER:   She’s right.  Property destruction can justify it.

AYLA:      (stares, then…) Green Lady take Dream Stone?

Ayla holds a soft-ball sized quantity of Dream Stone up to the landlady.

Frog face palms.  He reaches into his belt and extracts a wallet thick with C-notes.

FROG:      Thank the Entity for emergency currency.


The Epoch flies over a foothill range.  The super max prison comes within sight, walls and all.

NARRATOR:   … the trio arrive at their destination…

LUCCA:   Yes!  We’re finally there!

MAGUS:   Darn, and I was hoping you’d change your mind.  Oh, well.  Point me to the nearest guard tower and I’ll get started without you.

LUCCA:      Fat chance, Magus, now sit tight as I get over to this roof.

Marle face palms, leaves a mark on her forehead.

NARRATOR:   And a running gag is born.

*      *      *      *      *      *

« Last Edit: December 31, 2009, 07:35:10 pm by GenesisOne »

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #52 on: April 25, 2010, 02:21:41 pm »
As much as I love Arrested Development, I think that I preferred the first format.
And I think that the story is being taken to far from the hijinks at the house, and-It's been four months since the last update?!
You gotta keep writing this thing, man! It's too entertaining and I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO FROG AND AYLA!


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #53 on: January 31, 2011, 04:32:17 am »
It’s been far too long, especially myself, for this series to be on hiatus. So, in honor of ending my creative slump for this series, I present to you the latest chapter… still in its new format.

Enjoy!  :D

NARRATOR:   Now for the story of seven people from different eras, all living under one roof.  Most of them have magic, but they still manage to screw up and get on each other’s nerves.

It’s “The Real World – Chrono Trigger.”

EPISODE ELEVEN: Raging Crono, Frog’s Decision, and Magus’ Preferences


Crono and Robo attempt to fend off a group of guards inside their Special Cell.

NARRATOR:   Crono and Robo had just gotten the guards’ attention by escaping his straight jacket, and Robo did the same by escaping his code of ethics.
ROBO:   Crono, we are useless without our weapons, but we still have our magic.

CRONO:    No way! Our contract said we can’t use magic on anybody!

RANDOM GUARD:    Shut up!

A random guard punches Crono, flooring him. Crono quickly recovers. Robo pins a couple of guards against the prison wall.

ROBO:   There’s a loophole! You can use magic only if your life is being threatened!

PINNED GUARD:   Someone take out this heap of metal!

ROBO:   I resent your racist remark and hereby classify you as a threat.

Robo lets go of the guards, shifts to the center of the room.

ROBO:   Duck, Crono!

A rising Crono ducks to the floor. Robo unleashes a laser attack on the guards. They all take damage and disappear one by one. Robo and Crono do their respective victory poses.

CRONO:    Wait! What are we celebrating for? We just murdered five guards! We’re wanted men—* groans* man and robot!

ROBO:       We can discuss this later. For now, we must escape.

Robo dashes out the cell. A reluctant Crono follows close behind.

CRONO:       Please tell me you know where you’re going, Robo.

ROBO:       Of course I do, Crono. I know the layout of this whole—

As Robo and Crono round a corner, they get greeted a blockade of guards and their security dogs.

ROBO:       … facility.

CRONO:       (looking to the sky) I’m being punished. I just know it.

NARRATOR:   While Crono and Robo were making enemies with their actions…


NARRATOR:   … Frog was busy making hypothetical enemies.

Frog paces about the floor, stares at the ground. Ayla stands and watches Frog.

FROG:   (To himself) Mayhaps a purchase of a new ebony box will leave no trace of mine heinous misdeed. Nay, I am a knight, a being bound by chivalry. As well, should the truth arise, I wouldst become a crux of hatred ‘midst the others.

AYLA:   Why Frog-man walk up and down when all-seeing stone slab is broken?

FROG:   Hush. We be in the dire straits as to our quandary. We must needs acquire a fresh… whatever that was I rent in twain.

AYLA:   Frog-man say strange words. Ayla no understand. Speak so Ayla understand!

NARRATOR:   It was only natural that Ayla didn’t speak Shakespearian English.

FROG:   All right!

Frog ad-libs his sign language to Ayla.

FROG:   Frog-man… broke… the ebony box… now Green man… must get… another ebony box. Do you… understand?

AYLA:   Ayla… understand small amount… but what ebony? Rare rock?

Frog face palms, leaves a mark on his forehead.

FROG:   Move not from your stance.

Frog approaches the nearest phone, dials out.

NARRATOR:   Frog decided that it was beyond him and Ayla to fix the obviously destroyed T.V. So he did the honest thing by calling Lucca…


NARRATOR:   …all while Lucca, Marle, and Magus were about to do something dishonest.

The Epoch lands in a deeply shadowed area of the foothills an arrow’s shot away from the Super Max Security Prison.

MAGUS:      (mumbling with eyes closed)   Neuga, ziena, zieber, zom...

MARLE:      Hey, Lucca. I thought you were gonna land on the roof.

LUCCA:      Change of plans. A blitzkrieg isn’t our best option.

MAGUS:      (continues his chant) Now the chosen time has come…

MARLE:      A blitzkrieg?

LUCCA:      Nope. We’re better off with a sneak attack.

MAGUS:       (continues his chant) Exchange this world for—

MARLE:      Could you say that in your head?

MAGUS:      I’m just preparing myself for the battle. And yes, I love sneak attacks.

MARLE:   But that’s the same spell you used when you were gonna summon Lavos.

MAGUS:   You say that like something bad is gonna happen.

NARRATOR:   Nothing bad happened, if you don’t consider the creation of an abnormally large time gate as being bad.

MARLE:   All I’m saying is, you could’ve at least avoided Woosley for that spell.

MAGUS:      You have a problem with English translations?

 MARLE:      … The original Japanese text was way better.

NARRATOR:   I agree.

MAGUS:   Fine. Then I’ll say it in the original Japanese.

Magus closes his eyes.

MAGUS:   (mumbles) Da zuma lafwa roh laira—

LUCCA:   Stop!

Magus stops chanting, opens his eyes.

LUCCA:   I’m not gonna have this. Our new plan depends on our coordination and open lines of communication. I mean it. No fighting amongst ourselves, no winging it, and absolutely no surprises!

Lucca’s cell phone rings. The ringtone is Gonzales’s Theme. Lucca answers it.

NARRATOR:   Notice how it wasn’t “Gato’s Theme.”

LUCCA:   Hello? Frog, this isn’t really the best time. We’re about to… You did what? Well, when did this happen? How did you even—? Look, just stay calm. Me and the others here are gonna do something real quick and we’ll head back as soon as we’re finished. Okay? Okay, gotta go. Bye.

Lucca hangs up, shuts her eyes and rubs them.

MARLE:   What was that all about, Lucca?

LUCCA:   *sigh* Frog sliced the T.V. in half and Ayla threw the pieces out the window.

MAGUS:   (with flames in his eyes) What!? Drive back there now!

LUCCA:   No! We bust out Crono first, and even then we don’t go back until things have cooled down.

MAGUS:   Who cares? He got imprisoned ‘cause he was weak! Now drive back there before I cast a Dark Matter in this tiny little space!

LUCCA:   All right. Geez, you get worked up over a T.V. set, don’t you?

MAGUS:   That T.V. set is the only reason why I’m living with you people.

MARLE:   Obsessed much, Magus?

MAGUS:   (demonic) …yes.

Lucca starts the Epoch with all due haste. The Epoch takes off and heads back the way they came.
*      *      *      *      *      *
NARRATOR:   On the next “The Real World – Chrono Trigger…”


An armed squad escort a detained Crono and Robo onto an armored truck.

NARRATOR:   Crono and Robo are approved by the warden for swift and immediate transportation to the Super Max prison Lucca and the others were going to bust them out of.

Once inside, the armed officers close the truck doors behind Crono and Robo and lock them.


Frog hangs up the phone. He turns around to find that Ayla has left her spot.

NARRATOR:   And Frog learns that Ayla is a parkour artist.

FROG:   Ayla? Ayla? Where hast thou left to?

Frog spots the open slid open. He approaches it and looks outside. He spots Ayla on the roof across the street where the two halves of the T.V. set landed.

Ayla picks up both halves of the T.V. set without any effort.

FROG:      (shouting to Ayla) Ayla? What treacherous venture be ye engaging in!?

AYLA:      (shouting to Frog) Ayla no understand Frog-man!

Frog face palms, leaving a red mark on his face.

AYLA:      (shouting to Frog) What Ayla do with broken stone slabs?


« Last Edit: January 31, 2011, 04:41:49 pm by GenesisOne »


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #54 on: January 31, 2011, 07:37:33 pm »

Now some of you are probably wondering: why don't I just stick with the original "Real World" format?

Main reason? Because an interview style format isn't my strong suit for comic potential. Also, I found that my creative faucet was more active when I turned to a sarcastic omni-narrator style of story-telling.

As for now, until more people voice their opinion that they liked the original better (because I sure didn't), then TRW-CT is gonna stay the way it is for now.

Will start working on the next chapter, then.

That is, if Chrono Helix isn't too busy attracting readers from this series.

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #55 on: January 31, 2011, 10:17:43 pm »
I like the new way, feels more arrested developmenty, I assume that's what you were goin for?


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #56 on: January 31, 2011, 11:10:28 pm »

Well, originally (as the title clearly shows) I was going for the Real World format, but after awhile, it just seemed so tried-and-true that I just couldn't be as creative (or as comedic) as I wanted to be.

Plus, I got more laughs from AD than I ever did from TRW, so I ended up giving it a whirl, and voila!

New format, same story & hijinks.

The next chapter should be in before the end of the week. (Don't you just love setting your own deadlines?)


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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #57 on: February 18, 2011, 02:46:18 pm »

Sorry about the delayed update. With apologies settled in, I bring you the latest installment in the series.

Enjoy!  :D

NARRATOR:   Now for the story of seven people from different eras, all living under one roof.  Most of them have magic, but they still manage to screw up and get on each other’s nerves.

It’s “The Real World – Chrono Trigger.”

EPISODE TWELVE: Bright Lights, The Return Trip, and Ayla’s Misunderstanding


Crono and Robo, both shackled, sit inside an armored car as it rumbles down a highway toward the foothills. Two armed guards stand next to them, staring down at Crono and Robo.

NARRATOR:   Crono and Robo were on their way to the Maximum Security prison that Magus, Marle, and Lucca were going to bail them out of.


The Epoch flies across the night sky with Marle, Lucca, and Magus inside.

NARRATOR:   But it was at that time that the three in the Epoch were forced to return home due to their only television set being broken by Frog.


Ayla stands across from the group’s apartment holding the two halves of the broken television set in her hands. She looks up at Frog, confused and anxious.

NARRATOR:   Ayla, being of high moral standards, decided to take it upon herself to fetch the broken TV set that Frog convinced her to get rid of.


Frog, with shut eyes, rubs his face in regret.

FROG:   (To himself) Why didst I persuade her to send the ebony box into yonder skies? What trend of knight be I who breaks the knight’s code of honor?

AYLA:      Ayla say, what Green Man want Ayla do with broken stone slab?

FROG:   Ayla, move not from your place! I shalt find a means to bring mine self to your location! I shalt arrive anon!

Frog leaves the window and heads for the door. He steps out, manually locks the door from the inside, and closes the door behind him.


AYLA:   What Green Man mean when Green Man say “anon”? What “anon”?

Ayla takes a seat on the rooftop, examining the two television set halves.

AYLA:   Stone slab look easy to fix. Ayla put back together.

Ayla places the two halves together, squeezes them together with all her might. She strains and tightens her muscles as she presses them harder still.

NARRATOR:   While Ayla’s intentions were equal to her high standards, her raw strength was much higher.

The halves splice into each other, breaking the two halves ever more. Ayla’s eyes widen in surprise. She places the two halves down on the roof.

AYLA:   Ayla no know Ayla’s own strength. Where Green Man go? And what “anon”!? Anon… Lanon? Yes! Green Man say “Lanon”!  Ayla’s words. “La” mean “Fire.” “Non” mean… “Storm.” Fire storm? *Gasp* Fire Storm coming to Ayla home! Ayla must warn Crono and others!

NARRATOR:   Unfortunately for Ayla, “lanon” was a word that didn’t exist in her tribe’s native tongue. A quick word search of the game’s comprehensive script confirms this.

Ayla stands up, backs up across the rooftop, gets some running speed, and leaps across the rooftop to the group’s apartment. She lands on a outcropping from the building a few stories below the actual apartment and climbs up with the agility of a monkey.

NARRATOR:   As Ayla raced back to warn the others about a serious non-threat…


NARRATOR:   ... Magus, Marle, and Lucca were racing back to what Magus deemed a threat to his sanity.

MAGUS:   Can’t this thing fly any faster?

LUCCA:   If it did, then we’d be warping to another era.

MARLE:   Yeah, I don’t get it. If this thing could fly across whole continents in a matter of seconds, then why’s it taking
forever just to fly across the city?

LUCCA:   Because we’re in the real world.

NARRATOR:   Chrono Trigger.

MARLE:   Wait, if this is the real world, then what about our world?

LUCCA:   What about it?

MARLE:   Isn’t our world real, too?

LUCCA:   Of course it was real.

MARLE:   Wait. “Was” real?

MAGUS:   Great. Now we’re getting metaphysical.

LUCCA:   I meant “Is” real.

MARLE:   What about Israel?

LUCCA:   Wait. What’s Israel?

MARLE:   It’s a little nation I read about in the paper. They’re at war with their own.

MAGUS:   Kind of like Guardia in my time. Shouldn’t you concentrate on driving?

LUCCA:   Hey, I can multitask. Besides, we’re half a mile above the ground. I don’t think we’re gonna run into any traffic problems up here.

A bright flash of light emanates from beneath them. The group takes notice and attempts to look down, but to no avail. Lucca slams on the air brakes.

LUCCA:      What was that?

MARLE:      I don’t know, but I swear I’ve seen that glow of light somewhere before.

NARRATOR:   But before Magus could get a word in, Lucca went to investigate.


The armored car transporting Crono and Robo has fallen over on its side.

Suddenly, the doors to the back of the car burst open and tumble a good distance. Crono and Robo emerge from the armored car a little banged up. Crono is free from his handcuffs. No guards in sight.

ROBO:      What did you do, Crono? When we get found out—

CRONO:      We’re not gonna get found out! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before.

ROBO:   But what about the warden? He’ll surely notice a transport van that hasn’t arrived in his prison.

CRONO:   That’s why we’re gonna make this look like an accident with no survivors. Here, help me put this van back up.

Crono walks over to the side of the van and grips it underneath.

NARRATOR:   This would prove difficult to execute since there were no bodies in the van to confirm that there were no survivors.           

ROBO:      Wouldn’t it be easier just to return the van to the county jail that it came from?

CRONO:   No! I’m not going back there. Do you know what happens to fresh meat like us in Super Max prisons?

ROBO:   I’m not entirely sure, but from what I’ve researched, it involves hidden weapons, bribes, and male domi—

CRONO:   T-M-I, Robo! T-M-I! Now help me get this upright or I’ll give you an upgrade courtesy of A-O-L.

ROBO:   Gasp! I’m coming.

Robo races over to Crono and assists him in lifting the armored car upright.

NARRATOR:   There were just some things that Robo simply couldn’t act out.

A whoosh of air comes roaring in, catching Crono and Robo by surprise. They look up.

The Epoch lands several yards away from the tipped armored car. The engines power down.

NARRATOR:   But for Crono, acting seemed like the perfect redirect for the situation at hand.

ROBO:   Gasp! How are we to explain this to them, Crono?

CRONO:   We’re not. Time to bring out… my old self.

Crono lets go of the armored car and approaches the Epoch as Lucca and the others descend from it on the platform.

LUCCA:      Crono? Robo? What are you two doing here?

Crono mimes being surprised without saying anything.

Robo face palms, leaving a dent in his metallic forehead.

*      *      *      *      *      *
NARRATOR:   On the next “The Real World – Chrono Trigger”…


Ayla climbs back through the window and into the living room. She frantically searches the apartment to find the others, but to no avail.

NARRATOR:   Ayla’s attempt to contact the others proves both fruitless and with implications.

Ayla opens the oven door, sees the pilot light. She gasps and quickly blows it out, closing the oven door behind her. She continues her search.


Frog exits the apartment building lobby and gazes at the traffic in fright. Cars and trucks whiz by, but Frog swallows his pride and takes a leap into the road.

NARRATOR:   And Frog plays a classic video game in the most unconventional way…

Cue playback scene from “FROGGER” as Frog hops across the road avoiding traffic and eventually making it across.


Frog climbs a fire escape ladder and onto the rooftop. He spots the two halves of the broken TV set, but Ayla isn’t there with it.

NARRATOR:   … only to discover that he has to do it again.

FROG:      (Dragged Out) Ayla!

Frog heads back to the fire escape ladder and climbs back down it.



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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #58 on: February 18, 2011, 04:13:16 pm »
Holy crap, I didn't see this before!  :lee: I'ma bookmark this!