Author Topic: Chrono Helix (script)  (Read 52213 times)

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #45 on: July 19, 2009, 09:59:23 pm »
@mav: Well, she's got them, so I expect she calls them something... "bind my chest" would
be possible, I suppose, but I was afraid it would be too ambiguous.

@Acacia Sgt: Eh, I wrote that line without actually checking what was where in the lab.
Shame on me. Youtube, Youtube... Ah, here we are. Looks like Serge could be referring
either to Pip or the reddish Bulb in the cage next to the party.

I could have left the "release Pip" stuff in, I suppose, and just not had him appear on
the Invincible (or had him pop up at random in various places around El Nido as a
bouncy white Easter Egg, for that matter), but given the sheer amount of text in this
chapter, I was cutting everything I felt I could get away with.

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #46 on: July 19, 2009, 11:51:24 pm »
If you wanna work around the Pip issue, just have Serge say "those critters in the cages" as opposed to "that critter in the cage in the corner". And the breast thing really isn't an issue. Chest, breast, whatever; she's joking around anyway. I mean, she mentions the breastplate again in the treasure vault--so that could clarify things anyway...

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #47 on: July 20, 2009, 08:59:33 am »
"Those critters in the cages" it is, then.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #48 on: July 28, 2009, 08:41:56 pm »
::sigh:: This ended up being nearly twice as long as the first part,
mostly because I added a lot of stuff and wasn't able to do much cutting.
I'm afraid Leena got a little short-changed here--I'll try to give her
some more dialogue in Guldove.



Viper Manor - Where lies the key to the past... (Part 2)

Max recruits: Serge, Kid, Leena, and Guile or Nikki.
Recruitable: None.


====================================================   
Library, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[Having gotten the passcode, Our Heroes head
up the stairs and along the lefthand passageway
to the library, where Marcy and Belthasar are
waiting--the latter is up on the balcony]

Girl:
   So, like...
   What are you
   doin' here!?

Girl:
   Dragoons aren't
   allowed up here,
   you know?

Serge:
   Actually, we're not
   dragoons.

Girl:
   What are you talkin' about?

[They take off the dragoon suits]

Girl:
   So, like...
   What's your point?

Serge:
   (Okay, she's got me there--
   that was kind of dumb. It's
   just that she doesn't look
   dangerous, I guess. I mean,
   she's just a kid!)

Old Man:
   What is it, Marcy?
   Is someone there?

Marcy:
   Some weirdos.

Leena:               | Serge:
   Hey, didn't your  |    (She's sure got a nasty
   mother ever teach |    tongue on her--kinda
   you any manners?  |    reminds me of Leena...)

Old Man:
   Hmmm... Marcy,
   lower the ladder, please.
   
Marcy:
   Alright.

[Marcy pushes the switch to extend the ladder, and
Belthasar climbs down]
   
Old Man:
   If you did not know you
   were not allowed in here...

Old Man:
   Then you must not be
   one of our dragoons.

Serge:
   That's what I just
   SAID...

Old Man:
   Oh my... You must be...
   Yes, yes...
   You must be Serge.
   My, how you have grown.

Serge:
   (!)

Marcy:
   Like, can I kill 'em, yet?

Old Man:
   Patience child, patience!
   I need to have a word
   with these people...

Serge:
   Who are you, and how the
   hell do you know my name?!
   Are you this "guest from
   Porre" everyone's been
   talking about?

Old Man:
   No, no, I'm not the visitor
   from Porre. You will meet
   him in due time.

Old Man:
   Hmmm... How do I explain...?
   I guess you could say I am
   the prophet of time.

Serge:
   The WHAT? Look, if you
   understand what's been
   happening to me, explain
   it. NOW.

Prophet:
   Young man, I can understand
   that you have been having a
   tiring and confusing time of
   things lately, but if you
   want me to provide you with
   answers, you are going to
   have to allow me time in
   which to speak.

Serge:
   ...

Prophet:
   That's better. Now,
   listen carefully.

Prophet:
   The world is not just
   a single entity.
   Another world similar
   to our own exists in
   another dimension.
   There you will find what
   you might have become,
   a world of possibilities
   that might have existed,
   a whole history that has
   not been written yet...
   It is out there somewhere...
   We are simply unable to
   see, feel, or experience it.

Serge:
   (Okay, but what does that
   have to do with me being
   dead?! So far, it all
   sounds like a bunch of
   useless mumbo-jumbo.)

[Fancy outer-space-type background with maps of Home and Another worlds]

Prophet:
   Serge... This world is not
   the world you grew up in.

Serge:
   (Is that supposed to be some
   kind of joke?! Everything is
   the same here, except, well,
   me. And maybe the Dragoons.
   And... Um. I guess that
   maybe there are a lot of
   differences. Just little
   things... Maybe I AM in
   another world after all.)

Prophet:
   10 years ago, something
   happened that put your very
   soul teetering on the
   balancing scales of fate...
   with a fifty-fifty chance
   of life or death!
   This is when your future
   was split in twain.

Prophet:
   In your home world, you
   survived to live a happy
   and prosperous life.
   That is how you made it to
   the present point in time.
   However, here in this
   '"alternate"' world,
   you are, in fact,
   very dead and buried.
   You died 10 years ago, but
   this world's time line has
   flowed on regardless.
   You have no place in this world...
   Here, you are but a ghost
   brought back from the past!

Serge:
   Wait a just a minute! You're
   making it sound like I'M the
   reason that there are two
   different worlds! That doesn't
   make sense! I mean, I'm just
   a fisherman...don't even have
   my own boat yet... I'm not
   anyone important.

Prophet:
   I understand the mechanics
   of the time split no more
   than you, young man.

Prophet:
   I do not know what
   happened 10 years ago...
   Nor can I guess what
   triggered your entrance
   into this world.

Serge:
   (This guy's a lot of help--
   I've got more questions now
   than I did when he started,
   and all he seems to be able
   to say is, "I don't know"!)

Prophet:
   The locations where such
   divisions in the time-space
   continua occur are called,
   '"ANGELUS ERRARE"' -
   '"Where Angels Lose Their Way."'
   It is said that, there, the
   borders of two dimensions
   fluctuate in such a way as to
   make the passage between the
   parallel realities a possibility.
   Perhaps in this world,
   you are the missing piece
   from a giant puzzle.
   And maybe, just maybe...
   the vacuum created by
   your non-existence here
   has drawn you across the
   border between the dimensions
   to fill the void in that puzzle.
   Of course, no one can
   say for sure.

Serge:
   So you're saying that there's
   a way back.

Prophet:
   It is possible. I lack
   sufficient understanding
   of the process that
   brought you here to be
   certain.

[Background reverts to normal]

Prophet:
   However, it appears as though
   these 2 worlds are connected
   by some unknown force.
   Depending on the location,
   the 2 worlds influence each
   other in strange ways.

Prophet:
   I am quite certain there is a
   wormhole that connects the
   2 parallel worlds...

Serge:
   (So there IS a way back--why
   is this guy trying to hide
   that?)

Prophet:
   For your information, if
   you press the START button
   while on the world map,
   a menu window will appear
   that allows you to display
   which world you are in:
   Your Home World or
   Another World.
   Select ON to display this.

Kid:                              |
Leena:                      | Guile:                   | Nikki:
   If what you say's true, and    |    Another world... I guess |    Multiple realities... |    Other worlds...
   this world is an alternate     |    that means that there's  |    how fascinatingly     |    I wonder if there's
   reality...                     |    another Leena there who  |    mysterious!           |    a way for me to
                                  |    is your friend, right,   |                          |    build a world where
Kid:                              |    Serge?                   | Guile:                   |    Mom is still alive,
   Then why the bloody hell       |                             |    And the greatest      |    and Marcy and I...?
   did Serge die...?              | Leena:                      |    mystery of all is,    |
                                  |    The question is, what    |    what happened ten     | Nikki:
Kid:                              |    happened ten years ago   |    years ago to cause    |    I have to find
   The reason has to be somethin' |    to make this world turn  |    this peculiar set of  |    out what happened
   that happened 10 years ago!    |    out differently...?      |    circumstances?        |    ten years ago, so
                                  |                             |                          |    I can see if
                                  |                             | Guile:                   |    there's a way...
                                  |                             |    Excellent! I was      |
                                  |                             |    right to come here    | Marcy:
                                  |                             |    with you, Serge.      |    Like, what're you
                                  |                             |                          |    talking about, you
                                  |                             |                          |    weirdo?

Serge:
   I...don't know if I care.

Kid:                           | Leena:      | Guile:                 | Nikki:
   What are you talkin' about, |    Serge... |    I cannot understand |    But why not?!
   mate?                       |             |    why you would not   |
                               |             |    wish to investigate |
                               |             |    such a mystery!     |

Serge:
   I didn't ask to get mixed
   up in all this, you know.
   So what if there are two
   worlds? If I go back to my
   own world, maybe people
   will stop chasing me
   halfway to Guardia and
   everything will go back
   to normal!

Kid:                    | Guile:                    | Nikki:
   Are ya wimpin' out   |    I cannot believe that  |    I guess I can't blame
   on me before we even |    you are not at least   |    you, but it seems like
   get to the general?! |    a little curious as    |    a lot of wasted effort,
                        |    to how General Viper's |    if you know what I mean.
                        |    guest knew of you.     |

Serge:
   ARGH! Yes, I'm curious
   about why they're looking
   for me, but I don't know if
   I'm curious ENOUGH to fight
   my way through the rest
   of this stupid building to
   talk to General Viper.
   It's...oh, how can I make
   you understand...

Guile:                       | Nikki:
   Serge...you might wish to |    I think that they're
   consider this: Viper's    |    probably looking for
   guest has to be aware of  |    you because you're
   the other world.          |    from the other world.

Serge:
   W-what?

Guile:                      | Nikki:
   You have said yourself   |    Can you think of another
   that there is nothing    |    reason?
   else exceptional about   |
   you--"just a fisherman"  | Serge:
   was your phrase, I       |    Well...no.
   believe. Your origin is  |
   the only thing I can     | Nikki:
   think of that would make |    And if you try to go back
   it worthwhile to send    |    to Opassa now, they'll
   one of the dragoon Devas |    probably just send someone
   after you. And to be     |    else after you anyway.
   aware of your origin,    |    They might even follow you
   this Porrean must also   |    through into YOUR world.
   be aware of the other    |
   world. Perhaps he can    |
   even travel there.       |

Serge:
   (And if whoever-it-is
   wants me bad enough to
   follow me back to the
   other Arni, then Mom...
   I can't let that
   happen!)

Serge:
   I...guess I should talk
   to Viper anyway. If I
   really do want to go
   back to my normal life,
   I need to get things
   straightened out. Before
   anyone gets hurt.

Kid:                    | Leena:             | Guile:                  | Nikki:
   That's more like it. |    If you're sure. |    Excellent. Shall we? |    That's the way.

Prophet:
   So, you will be moving
   on, then?

Marcy:
   No way I'm gonna let you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Nikki is not in the group]

Kid:                         | Leena:                  | Guile:
   Shut up, you little brat! |    Kids like you should |    Do you truly believe
                             |    respect your elders! |    you can stop us?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Nikki is in the group]

Nikki:
   ......
   Is Marcy your real name?

Marcy:
   Like... Whatever...!

Nikki:
   You...
   You look just
   like...mother...

Nikki:
   There's no doubt about it.
   You're my little sister!

Marcy:
   W-What's with you...?
   What-EVER!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcy:
   Can I!? Can I!?

Prophet:
   I guess it cannot be helped...
   This may be fate in itself.

Nikki:             | Kid:              | Leena:                      | Guile:
   You're going to |    We ain't here  |    That's it! I'm going     |    This is foolish.
   fight us? Why,  |    to play jacks! |    to give you the spanking |    We have no time
   Marcy?          |                   |    you've been asking for   |    for children's
                   |                   |    ever since you opened    |    games.
                   |                   |    your mouth!              |

Prophet:
   I advise you not to
   take Marcy lightly.

Prophet:
   This child is one of the
   4 Devas, the highest rank
   of the Acacia Dragoons.

Kid:                 |
Serge:
   WHAT!?            |
   I thought there were
   This little brat? |
   no girl dragoons...

Serge:
   (This is ridiculous! There's
   no way a kid like this can
   be as good a fighter as that
   Karsh guy! Or do all her
   opponents wimp out because
   they don't want to hurt a
   little girl?)

Marcy:
   Hee-Hee...!
   Too late now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Nikki is in the group]

Nikki:
   You must be kidding.
   Marcy, think it over.
   
I really don't want to
   hurt you!

Marcy:
   Shut up, shut UP,
   SHUT UP!!!
   I don't know you and
   I don't have a family!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcy:
   Say bye-bye!
   
[Combat is joined. During the battle...]
 
 [Marcy]
   You think you're so smart!
   Then how about this...?

   Why you...!?!
   That does it!

   Oooohhhwww!
   I can't take thiiis!

   Take this!

   And this!

   And take that!

   And that!

[When the party wins:]

Marcy:
   Hmph!
   It's not over yet!
   I'll get you next time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Nikki is in the group]

Nikki:
   Wait!
   Marcy, come back!

[Exit Marcy]

Nikki:
   I can't believe...
   I haven't seen her since
   she was a baby, but back
   then, she was always
   laughing... What HAPPENED
   to her?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Nikki is not in the group, Marcy just leaves]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prophet:
   Hoh-hoh-hoh...
   I did not think you would
   be able to defeat Marcy.

Serge:
   I'm just glad we didn't
   have to hurt her too much.
   ...So what do we do now?

Prophet:
   Very well.
   I shall advise you
   of your next step.

Prophet:
   There are 8 pillars standing
   in the main hall.
   Behind the 2nd to last pillar
   on the left is a button
   to release the platform.

Prophet:
   Dragoons are not allowed
   up there, so it is best
   that you go up as you are.

Serge:
   (It is? A wandering dragoon
   might get in a bit of trouble,
   but you'd think a burglar
   would be in a lot more... I
   guess he's trying to tell us
   that we're going to need to
   avoid being seen from this
   point on no matter what we're
   wearing. Oh, well, at least
   I'll get to ditch this stupid
   skirt-thing. If it gets
   tangled in my legs again, I
   think I'm going to scream.
   I don't know how girls
   manage.)

Prophet:
   Beware, however...
   There is a much stronger
   being you will encounter.

Serge:
   (Stronger? Uh-oh... or am I
   jumping to conclusions? He
   said "being", not "enemy".)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Nikki is in the party]

Nikki:
   Before we go, can you
   tell me anything about
   Marcy?

Prophet:
   Unfortunately, I know
   little about the child,
   other than that she is
   under the guardianship
   of Luccia, the Porrean
   scientist who serves
   General Viper.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

[If they didn't meet Luccia]

Nikki:
   So where can I find
   Luccia? I need to talk
   to her!

Prophet:
   Her laboratory is in
   the basement of the
   manor.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

[Nikki takes a step toward the door,
but Serge blocks him.

Serge:
   Whoa, Nikki, we can't
   go back down there
   right now.

Nikki:
   ...
   I guess you're right.
   Damn!

[Nikki scuffs the floor the way Kid does when
she fails to steal something]

Nikki:
   One way or the other,
   though, I'm going to
   find out what happened
   to make Marcy turn out
   this way. Even if I
   need to come back here
   again to do it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If Guile is in the party, he stops in the doorway and
turns back while the rest of the party leaves the room.]

Guile:
   Pardon me, but if I
   might ask...?

Prophet:
   Yes, what is it?

Guile:
   Where did you say you
   were from?

Prophet:
   I don't believe I ever
   did. Why do you ask?

Guile:
   It is only...you remind
   me of someone, in several
   subtle ways.

Prophet:
   And you wish to know if I
   share your friend's origins?

Guile:
   I was hoping to... No, pay
   it no mind. It was as
   presumptuous to ask the
   question is it would be for
   me to call the man on whose
   behalf I asked it a friend.
   Even if I found some
   information for him, chances
   are that he would not thank
   me. My apologies for wasting
   your time, sir Prophet.

[Guile follows the rest of the party out, but the
camera remains inside the room for a moment more.]

Prophet:
   Could someone else from
   Zeal be in this time? FATE
   did not project... No, that
   young man must simply have
   been mistaken. Or perhaps
   he ran into Melchior...
   Yes, that must be it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

====================================================   
Viper Manor Pillared Hall (Another)
====================================================

[When they re-enter this area, Harle is waiting for them.]

Kid:
   Huh!?
   Who the...?
   
Harlequin:
   Hmmm...
   You are Serge?

Serge:
   Er... Yeah, I'm Serge.
   (She the first person
   we've run into who's
   needed to ask!)

Harlequin:
   You are even more
   sexzy zan I t'ought!
   Ooh la lah!

[It would be nice if Serge could blush here.]

Kid:
   And who the bloody
   hell are you!?

Harlequin:
   And zis vulgaire one
   must be Kid...
   You disgust me!

Kid:
   Whadja say!?
   If you're gonna insult
   someone, you should at
   least speak propa English!

Serge:
   (I hope that was a joke,
   but I'm not about to ask.
   It wouldn't be safe.)

Harlequin:
   Je m'appelle Harle.
   I am ze right-hand
   harlequin to Monsieur Lynx.

Serge:
   Who's "Monsieur Lynx"? (Is
   it just me, or does Kid know
   that name? I'd swear she
   flinched when I said it.)

Harle:
   Serge, mon puce...
   If you lie down with a dog
   like zis femme, you will
   surely catch fleaz, non?

Serge:
   (Wha...? Fleas? I can't
   understand half of what
   she's saying. I don't even
   dare nod, because Kid
   might get mad, and then
   I'd be in trouble. And
   she didn't answer my
   question, either.)

Harle:
   I t'ink you can do much
   better if you gave her up!

Serge:
   (Okay, that bit I got,
   but...piss off Kid on the
   advice of some weirdo who's
   done nothing to help me?
   I don't think so!)

Harle:
   Actually, I suggest
   you all turn back.
   You should not defy him.

Kid:
   Oi!!!
   What's yer problem...!?

Harle:
   Pleaze, mon Serge.

Serge:
   You haven't given me any
   reason to listen to you,
   you know. And I still don't
   know who this Lynx person
   is.

Harle:
   I would hate to see
   anyt'ing sad happen to you.

Kid:
   I've had it up ta
   here with you!!!
   
Harle:
   Tais-toi!
   You shut up!

Harle:
   I am having a serious
   converzation wit' Serge!
   Why don't you mind your
   own buziness!

Kid:
   THAT'S IT!
   Put up yer dukes!

Kid:
   I'm gonna kick yer arse
   so hard, you'll kiss
   the moons!

Serge:
   Kid, this really isn't
   a very good time--

Harle: [interrupting]
   You are ze one who iz
   going to have her
   derrière kicked! Non?

Serge:
   Harle, or whatever your
   name is, could you please
   just--

Harle: [interrupts again]
   But alas... I cannot be
   caught fighting you here...

Harle:
   Imagine ze trouble
   I would get into...!

Harle:
   Au revoir, mon Serge!
   See you again!
   
   And Serge,
   pleaze dream of me!
   Oui?


[Harle leaves]

Serge:
   (Dream...of her? Why would
   I want to? I mean, I suppose
   it's possible that she might
   be good-looking under all
   that paint, but between
   the makeup and that weird
   outfit, she might have
   also have been a Beach Bum
   for all I could tell.)

Kid:
   Sheeze!
   What's her problem?

Serge:
   Kid.

Kid:
   Yeah, mate?

Serge:
   You seemed to know about
   this Lynx person. Isn't
   it about time you told
   the rest of us what it is
   that you're doing here?

Kid:
   There's something here
   that I want. As for Lynx...
   I don't know if he's the
   same one--not fer sure.
   Not yet. If he is, and
   we meet 'im...I'll show
   ya then.

Serge:
   (Is it just me, or is she
   trying really hard to dodge
   around my questions?)
 
====================================================
Viper's Quarters, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[They enter Viper's office and see the Dragon Tear
sitting in the middle of the desk]

Kid:
   What?
   Did ya find somethin'?

Serge:
   Sort of. Looks like a
   big, flashy crystal.

Kid:
   Oi!
   Could this be...!?

[she examines it]

Kid:
   Naah...
   It ain't the
   Frozen Flame.

Serge:
   (So she really is looking
   for the Flame. I wonder
   why she wants it--Kid
   doesn't strike me as the
   kind of person to believe
   in miracles.)

Kid:
   Don't see any other
   booty here, either.

   I guess I betta ask
   the general directly.

[General Viper enters the room from the secret door
behind the bookshelf]

General:
   What is it you
   wish to ask me?

Kid:
   ......!!!

Serge:
   (A secret door? Guess
   it goes along with all
   the silly traps and
   weird locks in the rest
   of the house...)

General:
   My compliments on getting
   past my security.
   Now, may I ask you, who in
   heaven's name are you?

Kid:
   So you're General Viper?
   Don't feign ignorance
   on me now!
   Why did ya send yer dragoons
   to get me mate Serge here!?

Serge:
   (Why is she asking about
   me, and not the Flame? I'd
   have thought her business
   would be more important to
   her than mine...)

Viper:
   Serge...?
   My dragoons...?
   I'm afraid, my dear,
   I haven't the foggiest
   idea what you are
   talking about.

Serge:
   She's talking about you
   sending Karsh to Cape
   Howl to capture me. Or
   maybe kill me--he came
   on pretty strong. We
   want to know how YOU
   knew that I was going
   to be there, and why
   you cared.

Viper:
   Young man, I'm afraid
   that I'm still entirely
   mystified. I haven't
   sent Karsh anywhere in
   months.

Mystery Man:
   General, I believe
   these vermin are here
   to see me.

[Enter Lynx, through the same door as
Viper]

Mystery Man:
   Well, it seems you have
   saved me the trouble
   of finding you!

Kid:
   LYNX!?

Serge:
   (So this is Lynx? He was
   the one looking for me?)

Lynx:
   Hmm...?
   Young girl... Are you...?

Kid:
   What's the matter!?
   Cat got yer tongue!?
   I've finally caught you
   by the tail now, Lynx!
   I've come for two things...
   The Frozen Flame and
   yer life, ya murderer!!!

Serge:
   (Uh-oh, this doesn't sound
   good... I guess he and Kid
   have some kind of history.)

Lynx:
   Aha...
   So you must be Kid, then...
   A member of the fearsome
   band of thieves known as
   Radical Dreamers, correct?
   
Viper:
   Radical Dreamers...?
   This young lady...?

Serge:
   (Radical Dreamers? I think
   I've heard of them, but I
   can't remember where...)

Lynx:
   Precisely!
   Don't let her innocence
   fool you, General.
   She's quite ferocious...

Serge:
   (Nice to know SOMEONE
   agrees with me about
   Kid...)

Kid:
   Hah!
   Ferocious!?
   My arse...!
   After what you've done!

Lynx:
   I hate to disappoint you,
   but the Frozen Flame
   is not here.
   That fire lies hidden
   in the Sea of Eden,
   the place where past
   and future collide...

Serge:
   ("Past and future..."?
   Oh, man, not more of this
   weird stuff again...
   Anyway, Kid looks really
   mad. The Frozen Flame
   must be really important
   to her.)

Kid:
   Alright then...
   It looks like I'll have to
   put that part off 'til later.
   In the meantime, I'll settle
   my score with you, Lynx!
   Prepare to meet yer maker!

Serge:
   Kid, I've still got questions
   for him, so please leave him
   alive!

[Combat. The party defeats Lynx...who turns into a
catlike shadow beast. The real Lynx appears on the
other side of the room]

Kid:
   Bugger...!
   It was just
   a shadow!

Lynx:
   Did you think I would be
   stupid enough to pick a
   fight with a rabid dog?
   Why, just a shadow of
   mine is enough to deal
   with the likes of you!

Serge:
   Seems to me that WE dealt
   with IT--and Kid isn't a
   "rabid dog". (I just hope
   he doesn't take that as
   an invitation to a rematch,
   though, because I don't
   know if I could handle
   another fight like that
   right now.)

Kid:
   Hey--

Lynx:
   Perhaps not rabid, but only
   a dog would be so
   ridiculously loyal to the
   memory of the dead.

Serge:
   There's nothing ridiculous
   about being loyal to the
   memory of someone who was
   important to you. (Right,
   Dad?)

Serge:
   Now, will you tell me what
   the hell is going on? It's
   your fault that I'm in this
   world, isn't it?

Lynx:
   We predicted your arrival,
   but I'm afraid that we were
   not responsible for it. Nor
   is the causative agent known
   to us.

Serge:
   (Back to square one--and
   who's "we", anyway?)

   So why did you send Karsh
   after me? That WAS you,
   wasn't it?

Lynx:
   I merely wanted to speak
   to you, Serge.

Serge:
   Okay, but WHY?

Lynx:
   Because you are the key.

Lynx:
   Now, Serge...
   What do you desire
   from this world?
   Do you wish to live again?
   Do you want to erase your
   demise from the pages of
   history?

Serge:
   (I admit that it would be
   nice if the me from this
   world wasn't dead, but I
   have a feeling that nothing
   Lynx offers comes without
   a whale-sized catch... Ugh,
   what's with that freaky
   crystal? It's making my
   eyes hurt!)

Kid:
   What's wrong, Serge!?

[FMV: The Dragon's Tear gazes back into Serge.]

Serge:
   (Ugh... What was that?! It
   felt like something was
   pulling at me, and then that
   weird building blowing up,
   and the wind and that...
   thing...)

Lynx:
   Listen to me...
   The end of the human
   world is nigh!
   When this time comes, Serge,
   there shall be a deep enmity
   between you and the world!
   This is not speculation
   or prediction...
   This is history!

Serge:
   (What kind of nonsense is
   he spouting now? History?
   Something that hasn't
   happened yet can't be
   history... The end of the
   world? And I'M important
   in all this somehow? Why?
   It isn't like I'm some
   kind of hero or anything!)

[Two more shadow cats show up]

Kid:
   Bugger...!
   This doesn't look good...

Lynx:
   You cannot escape.
   There is something
   I want to ask you...

Serge:
   Then hurry up and ask it!
   (Maybe if he does, this
   will start to make sense!)

[Enter Riddel]

Riddel:
   Daddy!
   About that voyage
   I have been planning...

[Kid grabs her and holds a knife to her throat]

Riddel:
   Ooh!?

Kid:
   Don't move a whisker
   if you want this girl
   to live!

Serge:
   (Trust Kid to seize the
   moment--if we're lucky,
   we might actually get out
   of here in one piece...
   but I still don't know why
   any of this is happening,
   damn it all!)

Riddel:
   Goodness gracious!
   Who are you!?
   
Viper:
   My darling Riddel!!!
   Why, you dirty...!

Kid:
   Shuddup, old-timer!
   Our lives are at stake here!
   There ain't nothin' dirty
   about savin' yer own life...!

Kid:
   Just stay calm and quiet,
   and I won't hurt ya, OK...?
   I just need ya to come
   with us 'til we reach
   a safer place.

Kid:
   You alright, Serge!?

Serge:
   Pretty much.

Kid:
   C'mon, let's bust
   outta here!

[They leave the room, Kid dragging Riddel with her]

====================================================   
Viper Manor Stairway (Another)
====================================================

Viper:
   Don't be foolish!
   Do you really think
   you can escape!?

[Karsh and a couple of other dragoons appear from
below.]

Guile:        | Nikki:
   Cut off... |    Damn, they're everywhere!

Serge:
   (Oh, damn--looks like Karsh
   isn't going to listen to
   reason and let us go
   downstairs, no matter whose
   throat Kid's pointing her
   knife at. So we have to
   go up, but is there a way
   out from there?)

[Kid heads for the stairs going up]

Karsh:
   You fiend...!
   Take your dirty hands
   off Lady Riddel!

Kid:
   Oh...OK...
   Whaddaya take me for!?
   An idiot!?

Karsh:
   GRRRRRR...!!!

Serge:
   (You know, I don't think
   I've ever seen anyone
   turn purple before...)

Kid:
   Serge,
   this way.

[They climb the stairs, trailing dragoons]

====================================================
Roof Terrace, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[Serge et al. retreat across the balcony, with
Viper, Lynx, and their allies following. Lots of
little tiny bits of FMV are interspersed throughout
this part.]

Lynx:
   We have you now, you vermin.
   There is no way out of here.

Serge:
   (Damn, I think he's right--
   we're cut off!)

Kid:
   Bloody hell!

Viper:
   Let's work out a deal.

Viper:
   Release my daughter, and
   I shall let you walk away.
   How about it?

Kid:
   Yeah, right!
   Can't trust ya!

Lynx:
   Are you willing to
   jump to your death?

Serge:
   (If those are our choices...
   I just don't know, because
   it all depends on the "why"
   questions that I can't get
   anyone to answer! What is
   Lynx really trying to do?!)

[Kid looks over the edge of the balcony. Meanwhile,
Lynx is drawing his knife, then throws it at Kid and Riddel.]

Kid:
   Look out!!!

[Kid pushes Riddel away, taking the thrown knife for her, and falls
over the edge of the balcony. Riddel escapes.

Kid:
   Ugh!

Serge:
   KID!!!

[Lynx slowly advances on Serge, who is staring down after Kid, as he begins to speak.]

Lynx:
   What do you live for...?

Lynx:
   What are you willing
   to die for...?

Lynx:
   I've been waiting for you,
   Serge...

Lynx:
   Waiting a long, long time
   for you...

   Now come to me, Serge!
   The Assassin of Time...

   THE CHRONO TRIGGER!!!

Lynx:
   Come to me, Serge.

Serge: [shaking his head]
   I still don't really know
   what this is about, but I
   do know this much: I'd
   rather die than help
   someone who'd attack Kid
   from behind, and put an
   innocent bystander like
   Riddel in danger by
   doing it!

[Serge jumps over the edge of the balcony, with the third party member following.]

Lynx:
   N-NO!

[Serge et al. splash-land in the ocean below the bluffs.]




The Guldove chapter is going to be divided into four parts--the introductory material common to
all three routes, then the Guile/Magus route, the standard Save Kid route, and the standard Leave
Kid route, probably in that order. Hopefully, the first part of that won't take as long as this
did.


mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #49 on: July 29, 2009, 12:13:09 am »
Wow that was lengthy, but good overall. You tackled quite a bit of material and quite a few characters, and I think you did more than adequately. I do have a couple issues though. First off, I think a lot of the Prophet's new lines seemed unnecessary. Here are a couple of 'em:
Old Man:
   No, no, I'm not the visitor
   from Porre. You will meet
   him in due time.
--------------------------------
Prophet:
   I understand the mechanics
   of the time split no more
   than you, young man.
--------------------------------
Prophet:
   It is possible. I lack
   sufficient understanding
   of the process that
   brought you here to be
   certain.
In my opinion, removing these lines will still allow the script to flow while simultaneously keeping the Prophet's revelations on the same course as they were originally in CC. Oh and he does seem like the kinda character who would continue rambling, even after being interrupted by Serge's questions. So try taking that into consideration.

One of Guile's lines bothered me too:
Guile:
   Multiple realities...
   how fascinatingly     
   mysterious!           
The word choice here is really awkward. He should either say "how fascinating" or "how mysterious". Fascinatingly is just too strange sounding, and it comes off as unnatural.

Also, Serge's line before the fight may need revision:
Serge:
   Kid, I've still got questions
   for him, so please leave him
   alive!
This line isn't bad, I just think Serge should sound a little tougher...Maybe you could take out the "please". Hell he could try and show his pugnacious side at the same time by saying "let's leave him alive" or something...


As always, take my suggestions lightly, if at all. You did wonderfully with this bulk of text: Nikki and Marcy's interactions seemed spot on and most of the characters' voices seemed appropriate, aside from the suggestions I mentioned earlier. Oh and that little snippet between Guile and Belthasar really caught me off guard! I can't wait to see where that goes.

Katie Skyye

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #50 on: July 29, 2009, 12:12:30 pm »
...sounds like you're turning him into Magus after all! 8D Awesome!

This is really great stuff...I can imagine it'll get harder and more tedious the more characters get added, but I hope you'll finish the entire script someday! It'd be pretty epic to have Serge speak...

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #51 on: July 29, 2009, 05:01:16 pm »
@Katie Skyye: Guile, in my version of history, knows Magus and is responsible for him getting dragged
into what's happening, but they're not actually the same person, because I've always felt that their
personalities were too dissimilar for that to make sense. You'll see in a week or two, when I let Magus
have his grand entrance.

::sigh:: By the time I hit the end, I'm going to be dealing with 20-25 PCs despite my attempts to cut
the cast down. Even with six people nominally in the party, that's going to mean producing 15-20
potential replacements for every "Member" line before I can guarantee that at least one of the
speakers is present. That's going to lead to some massive grid-alternative messes. Not to mention
that I want to give every PC at least one significant optional character-development scene. Granted, some
of them can share, but some of them might conceivably develop into full-blown sidequests... ::shudder::


@mav: I never ignore someone who manages to put his finger on some of the things that bother me about
my own writing.

Of the three Belthasar lines you quoted, the "I'm not the Porrean" one was put in very deliberately, and is
going to stay. The other two I was never really happy with, and I'll go back over that section tonight,
when the guys replacing our furnace have left and everything's quieted down a bit.

The Guile line... I put the "mysterious" in there because of his next line, I think, but you're right--it
sounds a bit...off. "Fascinating" it is--I just hope no one thinks that it's a Star Trek allusion!

Serge's line, however, was again written that way deliberately. Until the very end of this chapter, Serge
is letting himself get pushed around by outside events and other people--he's been letting his course
of action be suggested by (mostly) Leena and Kid. He isn't a leader or a hero yet, and on that basis
the "please" is hopefully in character. His refusal to go along with Lynx at the very end of the chapter
is supposed to be the first break in that pattern, and Guldove should involve him starting to take up
his responsibilities as best he can.

On a lighter note, I had a lot of fun writing the Guile-and-Belthasar scenelet. I always enjoy working in
foreshadowing stuff, probably because it's a bit evil.

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #52 on: July 29, 2009, 05:12:37 pm »
Of the three Belthasar lines you quoted, the "I'm not the Porrean" one was put in very deliberately, and is
going to stay. The other two I was never really happy with, and I'll go back over that section tonight,
when the guys replacing our furnace have left and everything's quieted down a bit.
Alrighty then--and to be honest, the Porre line was the one I liked the most out of those three anyway.  8)

The Guile line... I put the "mysterious" in there because of his next line, I think, but you're right--it
sounds a bit...off. "Fascinating" it is--I just hope no one thinks that it's a Star Trek allusion!
Hah. Personally, Star Trek wouldn't be my first impression--I would immediately think Guile is just a little more theatrical than the average bloke, as long as he manages to stay out of flashy and flamboyant territory.


What you mentioned about Serge makes a lot of sense--he's still a young guy who's having all this thrown at him. It'll take some time for him to toughen up.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #53 on: July 29, 2009, 08:26:15 pm »
Changes to the other two Belthasar lines (plus a little context):

Serge:
   [...]I'm not
   anyone important.

Prophet:
   One's importance in the scheme
   of things is seldom obvious
   from the inside.

Prophet:
   I do not know what
   happened 10 years ago...

-----------------------------------------------
Serge:
   So you're saying that there's
   a way back.

Prophet:
   A way back? Well...

[Background reverts to normal]

Prophet:
   It appears as though
   these 2 worlds are connected
   by some unknown force.


(The odd italicization of the last paragraph was caused by my cutting a leading "However".)

Hopefully, the above represents an improvement. At least Belthasar is no longer outright lying.

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #54 on: August 02, 2009, 12:31:52 pm »
Sounds good to me. And the way this Belthasar speaks, as opposed to how he spoke originally in CC, seems to be more fluent and less on the rambling side. It certainly makes him seem more human--so good job with that. It's pretty amazing how the simple addition of a few lines here or there makes such a difference.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #55 on: August 06, 2009, 05:42:35 pm »
Since I intend to stick my nose in a book as soon as I leave the computer, which effectively
means that I'm going to be off-line for the rest of the day, I figured I'd post this a little
early, so that people would have time to admire my deathless prose (Ha!) before the Compendium
goes down for updating.

The Guldove chapter turned out to be so massive (>4000 lines, which is more than double
the length of the Viper Manor chapter) and so complex that I ended up splitting it in
six. This first part is the portion of the core story that's the same for all the possible
paths through this chapter. Parts two and three will be the Magus/Guile and Nikki/standard
methods of saving Kid, respectively; part four will be more material common to both the
Save Kid paths (there's just enough in there that isn't Mel's idiocy to make it worth
keeping as a separate section); and part five will be the normal "leave Kid to die" path.
Part six will contain stuff that isn't part of the core storyline (recruiting Luccia,
what happens if you return to Guldove-Home with Leena from Another in the party, etc.)



9. Guldove - Where ripples become waves... (Part I)

   Max recruits: Serge, Leena, and Nikki or Guile. (Kid is not in the party)
   Recruitable: None in this section.

=================================================
Macha's House, Guldove (Another)]
=================================================
[Serge awakens in a bed in Macha's house in Guldove.]

Lady:
   You're finally awake?
   If you're looking for your
   friends, they're outside.

Serge:
   Ugh...thanks. (Where am I?
   Guess I must've passed out
   after hitting the water...)

[Serge follows Macha's suggestion and goes outside]

=================================================
Guldove (Another)
=================================================

Kid:
   Oi, Serge!
   Ya finally woke up, eh?

Serge:
   Guess so.

-----------------------------------------------

[If they'd already met Korcha (or just if they'd
chosen Guile as a guide?)]

Kid:
   Give yer thanks to Korcha.
   He's the one that saved us
   after we fell off the cliff.

Korcha:
   No sweat.
   It's just part of my job
   as a ferryman.

Korcha:
   But I have to admit, you
   caught me by surprise when you
   came fallin' from the sky.
   You're lucky that it was the
   sea that ya fell into and
   not the rocks!

Serge:
   Actually, I figured I was
   going to break my neck on
   the way down. It was still
   better than the alternative,
   though. (I still can't
   believe what Lynx tried to
   do!)

----------------------------------------------

[If they didn't know Korcha]

Young villager:
   Looks like you're
   in good shape.
   My name's Korcha.
   I work as a ferryman
   around the Termina area.
   You're in a small village
   called Guldove, a little
   west of Termina.
   I was on my way here when I
   saw you guys in trouble, so
   I just picked you up and
   brought you back with me.

Serge:
   Pleased to meet you, and
   thanks. (Guldove...I think
   I was here once before, as
   a little kid, with Dad and
   Uncle Miguel...I was so
   small that I don't remember
   much, though.)

-----------------------------------------------

Kid:
   But geez, you're
   such a wuss!
   How could you get
   knocked out from
   such a short fall!?

Serge:
   Hey, I've never fallen
   off anything higher than
   the mast of a fishing boat
   before, you know! I'm lucky
   I survived jumping off that
   cliff! (And I think I'm
   glad it was the middle of
   the night, too--if I'd been
   able to see how far it was
   to the water, I probably
   would have lost my nerve.)

Guile:                         | Nikki:                         | Leena:
   It was not an experience    |    I'll say. I can swim better |    So next time we go on
   that I would volunteer      |    than anyone I know, since   |    a date, let's try for
   to repeat.                  |    I'm half--er, anyway,       |    a romantic moonlit
                               |    Serge, where are we going   |    evening on the beach...
   Tell me, Serge, where do    |    from here? I figure I'll    |
   you intend to go from here? |    hang out with you a little  |    Seriously, though, I'd
                               |    longer.                     |    like to know what we're
                               |                                |    doing next.

Serge:
   (Why is everyone looking at
   me all of a sudden?)

   Um... Well, going back to
   Viper Manor is out of the
   question...

Kid:
   I'll say! You sure you're
   okay, mate?

Serge:
   (I need to come up with
   something fast, or I'm
   going to look like an
   idiot... Wait! Didn't Lynx
   say something about...?)

   Kid, you're looking for
   the Frozen Flame, aren't
   you? Didn't Lynx say it
   was in the Sea of Eden?

Kid:
   ...Guess you're too sharp
   to miss something like
   that. Yeah, I'm after the
   Flame--and Lynx's neck!
   But are ya tryin' to tell
   me that ya think that's
   where we should go next?
   That won't get ya any
   closer to finding out
   what's going on, will it?

Serge:
   I don't think Lynx would
   have bothered finding out
   where the Frozen Flame was
   if it wasn't important to
   him somehow. That means
   that if we have it--

Kid:
   --HE'll start following US
   around, and we won't have
   to play catch-up anymore!
   Mate, I like how you think.

Guile:                       | Nikki:                | Leena:
   It is certainly a better  |    Sounds good to me, |    First Viper Manor, and
   plan than anything I have |    man.  Let's rock!  |    now the Sea of Eden--I
   come up with--to the Sea  |                       |    have to admit, you sure
   of Eden, then!            |                       |    know how to show a girl
                             |                       |    a good time!

Serge:
   Anyway, Kid...are you
   okay? I know Lynx hit
   you with that knife...

Kid:
   A little graze like this...
   ain't gonna...knock...me...down...

[Kid collapses]

Serge:
   KID!!

Korcha:
   Ugh, oh man!
   She's burnin' up!
   There's a clinic in this village.
   We should take her there.
   C'mon, I need your help, too!
   
=================================================
Inner Room, Doctor's House, Guldove (Another)
=================================================

Doctor:
   It seems the patient has been
   poisoned with Hydra venom.
   I would say the most she has
   to live is about two days...
   If we had some Hydra Humour
   we would be able to
   neutralize the poison...

Korcha:
   Doc, if we find this
   Hydra Humour, we
   can save this girl?
   
[Doc]
   Yes, but that's impossible now.
   Hydras are now extinct on
   El Nido...

Serge:
   You're saying we need a hydra,
   but there are no more? What
   happened to them all?

Doc:
   Hydras are very rare
   and valuable creatures.

Doc:
   The blood, bones, meat...
   Every part is valuable.
   It's considered to be a
   panacea for various illnesses.
   That is the reason Hydras
   were hunted to extinction
   in El Nido.

   As a result, a whole species
   has been made extinct.
   Just to make a quick fortune.

Serge:
   You're saying...that there's
   no way? That we just have to
   abandon Kid?

Guile:                         | Leena:                   | Nikki:
   Hydras were not yet extinct |    Could there be some   |    Seems to me that some
   on the mainland when I was  |    left on the mainland? |    guy from the mainland
   last there, although they   |    I know they've got    |    was trying to sell one
   were not common, either.    |    lots of stuff there   |    of my roadies hydra bits
   Surely there must be a way  |    that you can't get    |    last year... Couldn't we
   to obtain this Humour from  |    here... Korcha, you   |    get some of this Humour
   Guardia or Porre.           |    could get us there,   |    stuff from there?
                               |    right?                |

Doc:
   ...That is not possible.
   The currents of El Nido are
   extremely dangerous, this
   time of year.
   It is highly improbable
   to cross the sea unless you
   are on a large vessel...

Serge:
   (And anyway, getting there
   would take us weeks--it
   would be a miracle if Kid
   survived that long.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[NOTE: This is the point at which the Magus/Guile
branch diverges from the other two. The remainder
of this section therefore takes place only in the
other two branches.]
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Doc:
   Even if you manage to get
   there, your chances of finding
   Hydra Humour are bleak...
   We do not have much time.

Serge:
   (Two days... What can we
   do in two days?! Damn it,
   I didn't even get a chance
   to thank her yet! She saved
   our bacon TWICE back at the
   manor...)

[Korcha]
   ...Doctor?

[Doc starts to walk away]

Korcha:
   H-Hey, Doc!
   Where are you going!?
   Nothing's been resolved yet!

Serge:
   Are you walking out on us?!

Doc:
   ...Excuse me.
   I need to be alone
   for a while.

[He leaves]

Serge:
   I don't believe it--that
   bastard just ran away!

[Serge takes a step toward the door, but either Leena (if she's
there) or Nikki (if she isn't) gets in his way.]

Leena:                       | Nikki:
   Serge, we need to talk    |    Whoa there, man, we
   about what we're going to |    need to figure out
   do. I mean, Kid gets on   |    what to do before you
   my nerves a bit, but we   |    go running off. I
   can't just leave her to   |    mean, we can't let Kid
   die...                    |    die, right?

Serge:
   I don't see that there's
   anything we CAN do. None
   of us is a doctor...
   there aren't any hydras...
   That guy is our only hope,
   and from the look of it,
   he doesn't WANT to try
   to help.

[He walks over to the stool by Kid's bedside and flops down with his elbows
on his knees and his chin in his hands. The blocking party member moves
away from the door.]

Korcha:
   I-Is this some kinda joke?
   Wait right here.
   I'll go get the doctor back!

[Korcha starts to leave, but runs into Harle in the doorway.]
 
[Korcha]
   Whoa!

Korcha:
   Who the hell are you!?

[Harle]
   What'z this? No apologiez
   for bumping into moi?
   Ooh la lah, don't you
   know any mannerz?

[Harle enters]

Serge:
   (Oh, great, this bimbo again?
   I'd better get up before she
   corners me here.)

[He gets up off the stool and sidles back over to his original position.]

Harle:
   Ha haa, she is down
   for the count, just
   as I t'ought.

[She walks up to Serge]

Harle:
   Serge, mon ami,
   why don't we just
   leave her be?

Serge:
   Because I don't abandon
   my friends when they need
   help.

Leena:      | Nikki:
   Serge... |    Rock on, man!
            |    That's the way!

Harle:
   But, mon Serge... what could
   you possibly see in a woman
   like her? She has no poize,
   no elegance, and her
   figure iz--

Serge:
   I said she was my friend,
   not my GIRLFRIEND!

[Serge blushes. Meanwhile, Korcha has been peering intently
at Harle.]

Korcha:
   Who are you, and what's
   with that strange costume!?

Harle:
   
Tais-toi!
   I have no buziness with
   no chicken-hawk.
   I am having a conversation
   wit' Serge.
   You're bothering moi, so
   keep your mout' shut.

[Korcha]
   Why you...

Korcha:
   I ain't gonna let ya barge
   into this room and get away
   with all the stuff you've said!
   You've made me mad.
   I'll show ya some manners!
   I'm not gonna cut ya any slack
   just because you're a girl!

Serge:
   Korcha, I don't know if that's
   a good idea... (I don't know
   for sure that she's any good
   in a fight, but I don't think
   Lynx would keep someone
   useless around...)

Harle:
   Try if you dare.
   I am not so weak as to
   be caught by a chicken-hawk!

Korcha:
   Heh, you've got some nerve.
   You're gonna regret it!
   Charge!!!

[Korcha charges at Harle, who promptly vanishes.]

[Korcha]
   Oops

[Serge facepalms]

Serge:
   (I was right--she's strong
   enough to treat someone
   like Korcha as a joke. I
   just wish I understood why
   she's so fascinated with me.)

Korcha:
   Dammit,
   where'd she go?

[Harle]
   Ahahaha! You're amuzing.

[She reappears at Kid's bedside]

Harle:
   Ahaha, such a simpleton.
   It's so much fun playing
   jokes on you.
   I was only here to see how
   she was doing, but I had
   fun while I was at it.

Serge:
   (Why does it seem like
   everyone has it in for
   me right now?)

Harle:
   So long, Serge,
   au revoir, mon ami!
   Please dream of moi
   every night!
   Oui!

[Harle vanishes]

Korcha:
   ...Tsk, she's a loon.
   What's her deal?
   I just don't get it.

Serge:
   (Neither do I.)
   
Korcha:
   Yo, Serge, are all of
   your friends like that?

Serge:
   She isn't a friend, just
   someone we met at Viper
   Manor--

Kid:
   Oooo......
   Serge......

Korcha:
   ...C'mon, go talk to her.

[Serge walks over to the bed]

Serge:
   Kid, um, are you okay?
   (Damn, talk about the
   stupidest question to
   ask...)

Kid:
   Serge,
   I'll leave this...with you.
   It's my favorite amulet.

Serge:
   Kid, you shouldn't-- (Oops.
   Never mind what SHE shouldn't
   do--I shouldn't argue with
   her when she's this sick. I
   can give it back to her when
   she's better.) Okay, and,
   um, thanks.

[System]
   Serge received
   Astral Amulet.

Kid:
   Remember what the...
   prophet said...
   Serge...
   Where did...it all start?
   Where...do angels...lose
   their way...?
   ...Try to...remember...Serge.

Serge:
   (Angelus Errare... The place
   that connects the two
   worlds... I guess it would
   have to be somewhere near
   Arni, but...)

Kid:
   I'm feelin' a bit tired...
   I'm gonna rest up...
   for a while...

[She falls unconscious again]

Serge:
   KID! Oh, hell, she's out
   cold again... I didn't
   even...

Leena:                     | Nikki:
   Serge, it's okay. We'll |    Calm down, man. There has
   find a way, somehow.    |    to be something we can do...

Korcha:
   You heard what the doc said.
   There are no more Hydras
   in this world.
   On top of that, there's no way
   to get to the mainland, and El
   Nido isn't that small a place.
   Are you gonna take a one-in-
   a-million chance to search for
   this thing, just to save a girl
   you barely even know?

Korcha:
   Hey, what're ya gonna do?
   ~~~...I don't know            |   ~~~Find a way to save her
                                 |
   [Go to the Dump Kid branch]   | [Go to the Save Kid branch]




More to come (with a little luck, I should be finished with the
Magus/Guile branch early next week--I'm about halfway through now.)

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #56 on: August 10, 2009, 12:35:50 pm »
Very nice; easy to follow, nothing seemed out of place or out of character. Things are gonna start getting real tough for you now: two branches to write, more characters to include...Heh, this'll be exciting.

Katie Skyye

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #57 on: August 12, 2009, 12:46:41 am »
If you don't mind, how are you organizing these? Do you have some sort of table or flow-chart or something, or is it all in MS Word?

Anyway, great segment! I'm really enjoying these! I'm hoping to beat the game before you finish re-writing it...so wish me luck! I've just rid Marbule of nightmares and am going after the dragons' blessings.

Gah...being Lynx is fun. I don't wanna turn back into Serge.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #58 on: August 12, 2009, 02:35:06 pm »
@Katie Skyye: The master copy, such as it is, is a batch of HTML files being written in
a programmer's text editor (it's a lot easier to go from minimal HTML to BBCode than
it is to do the same with a word processor file). The only flowchart is in my head.
Well, okay, there is a textfile containing some ideas for fleshing out the
characters who got little or no development in CC and some notes on what I'm intending
to do with Magus, but they're...not binding, I guess you'd say.

Oh, and good luck with the dragons.

In other news, I keep getting distracted from working on the script, but I should
finally be having Magus meet Kid tonight.

Katie Skyye

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #59 on: August 12, 2009, 02:38:59 pm »
Ah, thanks. Just wondered, because I know this is going to get really complicated later on...