Author Topic: Chrono Helix (script)  (Read 52189 times)

Acacia Sgt

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #30 on: July 11, 2009, 09:39:56 pm »
Then again, Guile basically has the same objective as Kid's, just with a different item and purpose, so it may not sound that suspicious if Kid tells him that, especially that simplified.

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #31 on: July 12, 2009, 01:48:23 am »
4
[Serge is waving his hands around in the air and
generally acting like a raving lunatic.]


This is why your version is awesome: Serge actually does stuff! Actually has a personality!

Don't doubt yourself for a minute!

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #32 on: July 12, 2009, 02:37:06 am »

Looks like we're at the top. (Which makes me officially a criminal now, I guess. Damn!)


Yeah, I can see that that would other him! One minute he's being asked awkward "in the future" questions by Leena, the next he's apparently DEAD, and now he's a criminal, to boot.

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #33 on: July 12, 2009, 01:28:55 pm »
Then again, Guile basically has the same objective as Kid's, just with a different item and purpose, so it may not sound that suspicious if Kid tells him that, especially that simplified.
Aye, it makes sense, but I could see it being more simplified. She essentially admits that she's going to steal from the general--that seems pretty bold. I dunno, I guess it's just preference. It's not like we don't know what she's after...

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #34 on: July 12, 2009, 08:52:39 pm »
Actually, there's nothing in Kid's remark that makes it definite that she's going to steal her target--for all Guile knows at this point, she could intend to walk right up to General Viper and ask to borrow it. (Yeah, I know, that's a weak excuse, but Guile's already admitted he's going there to steal something, so I doubt Kid would expect him to turn her in. In her place, I'd be more worried about the bartender.)


Anyway, I don't think I ever really did pin Nikki's voice down (his dialogue in the original script is mostly as formal as Guile's, but with obvious deviations...and to be honest, the formality doesn't fit him very well, IMHO). However, I stand by my claim that he has no clothes sense.  Then again, neither do half of the other Chrono Cross PCs.



8b. Termina to Viper Manor: Nikki's Path

Max recruits: Serge, Kid, Leena.
Recruitable: Nikki.

There are no stage directions in this section because I have no idea what they would be--sorry if the result is confusing. I haven't done Nikki's path in at least four years, and of the two Cross scripts I've been able to get my hands on, ZeaLitY's has no stage directions at all, and Sheamon's doesn't cover Nikki's path, just Guile's and Pierre's.

 
====================================================
Magical Dreamers Ship, Termina (Another)
====================================================

 [Roadie]
   This is my first time
   visiting Termina, so I
   was wandering around town
   promoting the band.
   Lively town, food's great,
   all in all, a pretty nice
   place.
   The concert's success seems
   almost guaranteed, but...
   Just between us,
   the main star, Nikki,
   is missing...
   Have you seen him around?
   We've found him in a daze
   quite a few times lately...
   It's like he was here in
   body, but not in spirit.
   But, man, without him, we're
   pretty stuck. We can't even
   start rehearsing for the show.
   Miki's supposed to be back
   soon from searching, but...

   Miki!
   How was it,
   did you find him?

Miki:
   No, it's no use!!!
   I was able to track him
   up 'til he went into
   Shadow Forest, but...
   There were knights guarding
   the entrance of the forest,
   and I couldn't get in.
   Besides, I really didn't
   want to be in that creepy
   forest on my own.
   There's supposedly a way
   into Viper Manor at the end
   of the forest, but what is
   that idiot tryin' to do!?
   
 [Roadie]
   I see...
   So he definitely went
   into Shadow Forest...

Serge:
   (Wait a sec...did he say
   'a way into Viper Manor?')

Miki:
   Hey, I know!
   You guys can help me out!
   I'll lure the knights away
   from the entrance, then
   you can go into the forest
   and find Nikki!
   Pretty please? Won't you help
   out a pretty girl in distress?
   ~~~OK, rock on!                |    ~~~Wait just a minute...
                                  |

Serge:                            | Serge:
   (Rock...on? Well I guess it's  |    Sorry, we're kind of busy...
   appropriate here...)           |
                                  | Miki:
Miki:                             |    Oh, that's too bad...
   Really?                        |    But if you change your mind,
   Oh, you're a lifesaver!        |    please let me know!
   OK, let's start moving!        |    Now, what should we do...

====================================================
Shadow Forest (Another)
====================================================
 
Man:
   Listen to my song!

Man:
   '"Ohhh oooh oooh...Ì
    Sweet sister of mine...Ì"'

Man:
   Dammit!
   It's hopeless...
   
Kid:
                  | Leena:                       | Serge:
   What's with him...?
|    Nice singing voice, but   |    Um...excuse me?
                       |    I'm not sure his head's   |
                       |    screwed all the way on... |

Man:
   ......
   
Man:
   Dammit!
   You demons!

Man:
   ......
   I can't fend them
   off alone!
   
Kid:                         
| Leena:                       | Serge:
   What the hell's           
|    Some kind of...vegetable  |    (I don't know what
   this thing...?           
|    monster? No, I guess it's |    that is, but it sure
                             
|    an animal...              |    isn't going to win
Kid:                         
|                              |    any beauty contests.
   The thing's fast asleep. 
| Leena:                       |    And it's in the way,
   What do we do now...?     
|    It's asleep... How can we |    too. Would yelling at
                             
|    get past it?              |    it work? I don't see
                             |                              |    any ears...)
   
Man:
   ......!
 
Man:
   It's you...

Man:
   What's this...?

Kid:                   
| Leena:                    | Serge:
   Nice attitude, FREAK!
|    A gentleman would at   |    (Whatever it is that
   We saved yer life!   
|    least say 'Thank you', |    everyone likes about this
   You could at least   
|    you know.              |    guy, it isn't his manners!)
   thank us!?            |                           |

Man:
   You're off to
   Viper Manor, right?

Man:
   Take me with you.

Kid:                         
| Leena:                     | Serge:
   Who the bloody hell       
|    Just who are you,       |    (I have a hunch this
   are you?                 
|    anyway?                 |    guy is Nikki--he does
                             
|                            |    look like all the
Kid:                         
| Leena:                     |    posters, anyway.)
   Hmm?                     
|    ...Come to think of it, |
   I think I recognize       
|    aren't you the singer   | Serge:
   you from a poster         
|    who's on all those      |    Why do you want to go
   in Termina...             
|    posters in Termina?     |    to Viper Manor?
                             
|                            |
Kid:                         
| Leena:                     | Serge:
   And what business do you 
|    What could you possibly |    (I really hope I'm not
   have in Viper Manor?     
|    want at Viper Manor?    |    about to hear another
                             
|                            |    weird story...)

Nikki:
   I believe...
   my sister is
   in there...

Kid:
                         | Leena:           | Serge:
   Your sister...?   
       |    Your sister?  |    (His sister?)
   
Nikki:
   Anyway...
   I'll let you in on a secret
   if you let me join your party.
   
   How about it?
   ~~~Sure                         |   ~~~Nah
                                   |
Nikki:                             | Nikki:
   Rockin'!                        |    Noooooo...!
                                   |
 [System]                          | Nikki:
   Nikki joined your band.         |    I'm tagging along whether
                                   |    you like it or not!
                                   |
                                   |  [System]
                                   |    Nikki forced his
                                   |    way into your band.

Nikki:
   I'm the rockin' bard,
   Nikki!

   How about a song?
   ~~~No, thanks
   ~~~Nah...
   ~~~Maybe later
   
Nikki:
   Oh...
   Fine...

Kid:                         
| Leena:                | Serge:
   Alright, so what's this   
|    You said something |    So what's the secret
   secret you wanna tell us?
|    about a secret...? |    you said you'd tell me?

Nikki:
   In order to get inside Viper
   Manor, you have to go through
   the water vein further up...

 Kid:                           | Leena:                     | Serge:
   In case you didn't notice,   |    But how are we supposed |    I hope that means you
   mate, there's a muckin' ugly |    to get past that        |    know how to get past
   green monster in the way.    |    monster?                |    that monster.

Nikki:
   In order to move it, you
   have to feed it one of the
   monsters in the forest.
   I wasn't quite sure how
   to lure one to it, but
   then I found this
   notebook.
   It says to lure the
   monsters with their 
   favorite food.

 Kid:                         | Leena:                    | Serge:
    Favourite food? What does |   Somehow, I don't think  |    So what do we feed it?
    it eat, eyeballs?         |   it would go for my fish |    (And I really hope the
                              |   casserole...            |    answer isn't 'you'!)

Nikki:
   It's probably talking
   about the plant life
   growing in this forest.
   The plants are attracted
   to a certain aroma and
   then emit their pollen.
   There are a total of
   three monsters in all,
   each of which has its
   preference in food.

Nikki:
   Well, that's that.
   And now, for a song...

Kid:                         
| Leena:                    | Serge:
   Alright, let's get goin'.
|    I'm sorry, but I don't |    (Does he think we're
                             |    think we have time for |    having a picnic?!)
                             |    that.                  |

Nikki:
   H-Hey!
   Wait for me!
 
 [Monster]
   Shiwible... Shiwible...

Kid:                    | Leena:                  | Serge:
   What the heck's your |    Is it trying to say  |    (Okay, so I guess
   problem?             |    something?           |    it's awake...)

 [Monster]
   I cAN't oFFer yOu anYtHiNg.
   PLeaSe foRgiVe mE...

   I'LL giVe yOu tHiS...
   PLeaSe foRgiVe mE...

 [System]
   [Member] received the
   '"Skullduggery"' frame!

 [Monster]
   ByE-ByE... ByE-ByE...
   
 [Party]
   ~!!!~

====================================================
Shadow Forest--3rd(?) Screen (Another)
====================================================

Dragoon:
   THIS PATH LEADS
   TO VIPER MANOR.

Dragoon:
   WHATEVER YOUR BUSINESS
   MAY BE, I CANNOT LET
   YOU THROUGH.

Serge:
   (Great, another weirdo.
   A HALF-NAKED weirdo. Why
   couldn't he at least be
   a girl if he's going to
   wander around with almost
   no clothes on?)

Nikki:
   Rock on! That's a great
   outfit.

[Serge, lost for words, just shakes his head.]

Dragoon:
   I AM Zoah, ONE OF
   THE 4 DEVAS OF THE
   ACACIA DRAGOONS.

Serge:
   (I think that guy Karsh
   and his friends were
   dragoons, although I
   don't remember them
   actually saying so. And
   I'll bet a nice fresh
   marlin to a bent
   fishhook that this
   guy knows who I am, too.)

Zoah:
   SO...
   YOU ARE Serge.

Serge:
   (Bingo!)

Zoah:
   THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.
   I SHALL LET YOU PASS IF
   YOU ARE ABLE TO DEFEAT ME.

Zoah:
   COME!
   
[Combat--snip another element lesson]

Zoah:
   VERY WELL...
   I SHALL LET YOU PASS...

Zoah:
   HAH...
   WE SHALL MEET AGAIN...

====================================================
Shadow Forest--Tunnel (Another)
====================================================

Kid:                 
| Nikki:
   We're at the     
|    Looks like a well up
   bottom of a       
|    there--I guess that
   well...           
|    means this really is the
                     
|    way into the Manor, just
Kid:                 
|    like I heard.
   That means        |
   Viper Manor's     
| Nikki:
   right above us!   
|    This place is supposed
                     
|    to be full of guards,
Kid:                 
|    though, so we'd better
   Hey, mate, I say 
|    wait for nightfall. I'd
   we wait here     
|    like to play something
   'til nightfall.   
|    to pass the time, but
                     |    those guards might notice
                     |    if they heard music coming
                     |    from the well...
                     |   
                     | Serge:
                     |    (Maybe there's some hope
                     |    for him after all.)





I will now be on hiatus for a day or two while I finish the script for the first half of the Viper Manor chapter--the sheer size of the thing requires that I break it into parts again, so I've arbitrarily chosen to divide it at the snake-statue-door.

Thanks for reading, everyone.

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #35 on: July 12, 2009, 10:38:29 pm »
Hmmm...not bad. Nikki didn't seem out of character (I tend not to recruit him, so I can't remember his voice too well). And all the reactions seemed appropriate; nothing stuck out, though I do think Serge should be a little more vocal here and a little less internal.

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #36 on: July 13, 2009, 01:42:32 am »
Nice! I like your additions to the script (particularly Nikki's approval of Zoah's non-outfit =P)

As for the stage directions, perhaps you could check with a walkthrough to match the actions with the words?

Katie Skyye

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #37 on: July 15, 2009, 12:54:33 am »
though I do think Serge should be a little more vocal here and a little less internal.

Ditto. Especially the part where Kid/Leena are all "Your sister?" but Serge only thinks it. "(His sister?)"

It seems that he would also say it out loud.

skylark

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #38 on: July 15, 2009, 12:58:34 am »
Huh...

A talking Serge. Interesting.

(At the Time Devourer fight.)

Serge: (Why do I feel this girl should be older and have blue hair?)

*gets shot*

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #39 on: July 15, 2009, 01:45:06 pm »
Walkthroughs are 75% useless for stage directions, alas, because they tend to skip over what I need to know with a note like, "After some cutscenes..."

I'll try to keep a more careful eye on Serge's internalization tendencies from now on. Nikki's sub-chapter (well, okay, and part of Guile's) was the first thing I wrote after starting this project up again, so it hadn't been picked over as may times as the rest. And the more characters I'm juggling, the more difficult it is to keep them distinct (one of my goals for this mess is to remove as many as possible of the generic lines marked [Member] and replace them with something a bit more tailored, although I let those in the very first section slide on the grounds that I would have had to do something-teen possible lines, many of them for characters I don't really have a grip on yet).

Actually, Magus is the one who's most likely to ask about Schala's...dye job. He'll be turning up in the Guldove chapter.

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #40 on: July 15, 2009, 04:24:23 pm »
Magus in Guldove, eh? That'll be exciting. It's gonna be such a challenge to deal with all these characters...my hat's off to ya.

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2009, 09:20:31 pm »
I'm a little scared, to be honest--even given the number of characters getting cut, I'm going to have a lot of people to handle. And if I screw up in writing Magus' lines, I'm likely to get lynched.  :lol:

I'm getting close, or at least closer, to the end of the first half of Viper Manor. Just have to figure out how to deal with the Karsh and ZOAH infodumps, mostly...

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #42 on: July 19, 2009, 08:36:45 pm »
Well, it took until half-past forever, but here is the first half of the Viper Manor chapter--AKA the easy half, since all the really important plot revelation stuff by Belthasar and Lynx ended up in the second part. I apologize if Serge is maybe a little less verbal than he ought to be again this time--I'm trying to work on it, honestly.

I'm sure I botched at least one decision tree in here, probably somewhere around the treasure room.  Arrgh!



8. Viper Manor - Where lies the key to the past...

[P]Max recruits: Serge, Kid, Leena, and Guile or Nikki.
[P]Recruitable: None.

====================================================
Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[FMV: Nightfall at Viper Manor]

[If they manage to reach the front door before going to the
stable(?)]

[System]
   It's locked.

Kid:                     
  | Guile:                     | Nikki:
   Bloody hell!           
  |    Locked... If we wish    |    It's locked... That's
   I knew it was locked! 
  |    to enter, we must       |    just great.
                            |    obtain a key.           |
Serge:                      |                            | Serge:
   You can't pick it?       | Serge:                     |    One of the guards might
                            |    So who would have       |    have a key.
Kid:                        |    one? (We'll worry about |
   Not quick enough to keep |    how to get them to give | Nikki:
   from being spotted--it's |    it to us after we find  |    I think we should sneak
   a bloody good lock.      |    one... Damn, I AM       |    around a bit more first.
                            |    starting to think like  |    Why take on the guards
Kid:                     
   |    a thief.)               |    if we don't have to?
   Serge, let's         
   |                            |
   check out back.       
   | Guile:                     | Serge:
   Maybe there'll be        |    Any servant should have |    (Because I want to get
   a window we can use,     |    one... I believe there  |    this over with?)
   or somethin'.            |    is a stable behind the  |
                            |    main building. We       |
                            |    should check there.     |

====================================================
Viper Manor Stable (Another)
====================================================
 
 [Stablekeeper]
   Who are you?

   Oh yeah...
   You must be the
   new helpers I
   was told about.

   ~~~That's right

   Oh great. You're just in time.

   My back gave out recently...
   and I can't feed the dragons.
   I want you to take over for me.

Kid:                 | Guile:                  | Nikki:
    You got a key to |   If you happen to have |    Do you have a key
    the Manor?       |   a key to the Manor... |    to the manor?

 [Stablekeeper]
   Sure do. Wouldn't mind givin' it
   to ya if you take on this job.

Kid:               | Leena:             | Guile:          | Nikki:
   Ace! Go for it, |    Give it a shot, |    Then we will |    Rockin'! Do it,
   Serge.          |    Serge--you're   |    make the     |    Serge!
                   |    good at this    |    attempt.     |
                   |    kind of thing.  |                 |

   
   Will you feed 'em?

[snip a bunch of dragon-feeding-game stuff.
Once Serge feeds the dragons successfully...]

   You'll find the key
   in the cupboard.
   Take it.

   And here's the gift
   that I promised.

[snip game rewards]
   
   [Member] found
   Manor Key!

====================================================
Viper Manor Entryway (Another)
====================================================
--------------------------------------------
[If Kid was not recruited (?)]

Kid:
   I'm glad I followed 'em.
   Not bad, fellas...
   Not bad...

Kid:
   I'll just wait and
   see how things go.

-----------------------------------------

[if they examine the door leading to the stairs]

 [System]
   It won't open.

[It would be nice if a line could be selected at random from
the set of people in the party each time they check the door...]

Kid:                   | Guile:                 | Nikki:              | Leena:             | Serge:
  No keyhole...I don't |   How bizarre...the    |    Another locked   |   This general     |    Locked? Oh, great.
  have a hope in hell  |   door has neither     |    door? This is    |   sure has a       |    (I can't see a
  of picking this one  |   lock nor handle, yet |    SO not cool.     |   thing for locked |    keyhole, either.
  either, mate. Let's  |   it is obviously a    |    Guess we have to |   doors. I wonder  |    I guess we'll just
  look around--maybe   |   functional portal.   |    find someone who |   what he's trying |    have to poke around.
  there's another way  |   There must be some   |    knows how to     |   to hide...?      |    Viper must visit
  through here.        |   trick to opening it. |    open it.         |                    |    the rest of the
                       |                        |                     |                    |    house sometimes...)

====================================================
Viper Manor Basement Cage Room (Another)
====================================================
 
[After turning the snake-statue beside the keyholeless
door the wrong number of times and getting dropped
through the trapdoor.]

[If Kid is in the party]

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   Intruders!?

Serge:
   (Oh, great, looks like we
   blew it this time...)

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   How'd you get past
   our security?
   
 [Acacia Dragoon]
   Heh heh... I can't believe you
   would fall for a trap like this...

Serge:
   (Yeah, why don't you rub in
   the fact that I'm a bonehead?
   Damn--we were so close!)

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   What should we do
   with these fools?
   
Kid:
   Heheheh...
   
 [Acacia Dragoon]
   What's so funny!?
   
 [Kid]
   You dragoons are a
   bunch of dag-nuts!

Serge:
  (!
  Is she trying to make them mad?)
   
 [Acacia Dragoon]
   You're askin' for it!
 
 [Acacia Dragoon]
   Take it easy.
   
Kid:
   So you're afraid of us, eh?
   CHICK---EN!

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   This should be interesting.
   Let's teach 'em a lesson!
   
 [Acacia Dragoon]
   Open it up.

Serge:
   (Oh, I get it now. Guess this
   isn't the first time Kid's
   been in a situation like
   this.)

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   Man, don't be taken in
   by her fast talk.
   
Kid:
   Bring it on, chums!
   
 [Acacia Dragoons]
   Now, get out!
   
   We'll teach you
   a lesson!

[Dust-up. The party wins]

Serge:
  (Heh. And THEY were calling
  US dumb.) Thanks, Kid.

Kid:
  Heheh, no problem, mate.

-------------------------------------------------

[If Kid is not in the party (I assume--I've never not
recruited her.) And yes, I'm being a bit over
the top with Serge's reaction here.]

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   I'll go ask the commander.

   Watch 'em.
   
   Enough of your ruckus!
   Quiet up in there!
 
[exit one dragoon]

 [Kid]
   !!!
 
 [Acacia Dragoon]
   I said, enough...
   Ughhh!

[Kid jumps the remaining dragoon, and
unlocks the cage]

Kid:
   What are you guys doin'?
   You're pathetic.

Serge:
   Unlike SOME people, we're
   not professional housebreakers.

Guile:                     | Leena:                        | Nikki:
   Serge, that was not     |    SERGE! How could you be so |    Serge, you've really
   called for. Young lady, |    rude? ...Sorry about that. |    got to learn how to
   I apologize on behalf   |    He got dropped on his head |    treat the ladies.
   of my companion.        |    as a child.                |    Sorry 'bout that, miss.

Kid:
   Eh, no biggie.

Serge:
   (She calls us pathetic,
   and I'M the one who gets
   told off?!)

[Kid unlocks the cage]

Kid:
   There...it's open.
   Gotta learn to take care
   of yerselves, eh?
   See ya.

Kid:
   Oh, and don't go
   interferin' with me work.
   And, Serge, you can't
   do bugger all without me,
   so just take it easy, eh?

[Exit Kid]

Serge:
   (Geez, I may not spend all
   my time breaking into other
   people's houses, but I'm not
   an idiot, either!)

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   HEY!
   How'd you get out!?
   
   Shut up and
   stay put!

   Bastards!
   Come on!
   
   Who's the dag-nut?
   
   Argh!
   You want some!?
   
   QUIET!!!

[I assume that either combat is joined, or Kid
leads the additional dragoon away--don't know which.]

------------------------------------------

Guile:                   | Nikki:
   We will be able to    |    Maybe if we dress
   move more freely      |    up in these guys'
   around the manor if   |    clothes, the other
   we disguise ourselves |    dragoons will think
   with these uniforms.  |    we belong here.

Serge:
   (Ugh, I have to wear a
   skirt?!)

[If Kid and/or Leena are present]

Kid:
   Guess we've got no choice,
   but purple ain't really
   me colour...

Leena:
   You know, we haven't
   seen any girl dragoons...
   I think I'm going to have
   to bind my breasts to get
   into this stupid armour.
   
====================================================
Viper Manor Basement Hallway (Another)
====================================================
 
[I'm pretty sure you get this bit only if
Kid isn't in the party]

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   Ugh...
   A red demon...
   got me...

 [Acacia Dragoon]
   It was horrible...
   It was a 9 ft tall monster,
   with huge protruding fangs...

   (It's too embarrassing to
   say it was a girl...)

Serge:
   (Oh, man... I hope we don't
   run into anything like that!)

====================================================
Treasure Vault, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[skip the Boxer Bros]
   
   Kid:
                  | Guile:                   | Leena:                  | Nikki:
      Heheh!
             |    What I seek is not    |   I wonder if that      |   General Viper sure
      This is great!
     |    here...but it can     |   armour at the back    |   keeps a lot of old
                         |    do no harm to abscond |   of the room would     |   stuff down here.
   Kid:
                  |    with a few more of    |   fit me better than    |
      But it looks like
  |    the General's         |   this stupid           |   !? That vase...from
      the Frozen Flame
   |    possessions.          |   breastplate...What    |   Marbule?
      ain't here...
      |                          |   do you think, Serge?  |
                         | Serge:                   |                         |   [He looks inside one
   Serge:                |    So what you're saying | Serge:                  |   of the vases in the
      (The Frozen Flame? |    is that we might as   |   You could always try  |   jumble to the side]
      Is that what she's |    well steal him blind  |   it on... (It's usually|
      looking for?)      |    while we're here?     |   easier to agree with  | Nikki:
                         |                          |   her than to argue. I  |   No, guess not. But
   Kid:[/I]                  | Guile:                   |   still remember that   |   is that...?
      Ah well.
           |    Precisely.            |   time she threw me     |
      Let's just take
    |                          |   off the dock when we  | Serge:
      what's here.
       | Serge:                   |   were six...)          |   We still have to
                         |    (I don't remember     |                         |   find Viper, you
                         |    signing up for this.) | Leena:                  |   know.
                         |                          |   Fine, maybe I will.   |

[snip sword/shield/armor]
     
 [System]
   There's treasure
   on the wall.

   ~~~Grab it |   ~~~Take it cautiously             |    ~~~Too scared to take it
              |   ~~~Take it nervously              |

  [And the    |                                     | Kid:                 | Guile:
  wall spins] | Guile:             | Nikki:         |  Why waste treasure  |   That might be
              |   It occurs to me  |   I don't like |  by leaving it for   |   of value. We
              |   that this might  |   the looks of |  that Viper bloke?   |   should take it.
              |   be a trap.       |   that.        |-----------------------------------------
              |                                     | Nikki:               | [muttermumble
              | Kid: (if she's there)               |   So you're just     | too narrow]
              |   Whatever!                         |   going to leave it? |
              |  Just grab it.                     |   Isn't that a waste?|
              |                                     |
              | [And the wall turns anyway...]      |

[Another messy decision-tree I probably didn't get right...]

====================================================
Luccia's Lab, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[After taking the item from the wall, the wall opens up and dumps
everyone into a cage in the next room]

Leena:                  | Guile:                | Nikki:
   Serge, you need to   |   Perhaps that was    |   A trick wall... I
   be more careful!     |   not the wisest      |   wonder if we could
                        |   course of action... |   use something like
Serge:                  |   I now regret not    |   this in our next
   (She WOULD have to   |   having studied that |   performance...?
   rub it in. Sometimes |   spell for detecting |
   I think she thinks   |   traps.              | Serge:
   she's my mother.)    |                       |   Maybe we should
   You didn't exactly   | Serge:                |   worry about getting
   try to stop me from  |   It DOES sound like  |   out of here first.
   taking it, you know. |   it might have been  |
                        |   useful!             | Nikki:
Leena:                  |                       |   If you've got any
   Hmph!                |                       |   ideas about how to
                        |                       |   do that, I'll be
[She turns her back to  |                       |   happy to help...
Serge.]                 |                       |

Kid:
   Just a minor slip-up!
   But look, we got the treasure.
   
Woman:
   Oh...

Woman:
   Quiet!

Woman:
   Hmmm...

Woman:
   I see dat you are not
   really dragoons.

Serge:
   How can you tell?

Woman:
   No matter.
   Kom out.

Guile:                 | Nikki:
   Unexpected, to find |   Thanks for your
   help here... Who    |   help, Miss...
   are you?            |   uh....

Woman:
   Ooh-hoho-hoho...!
   Vho said anything
   about helping?

Serge:
   (Uh-oh. Suddenly
   I have a bad feeling
   about this.)

Woman:
   I am the scientific
   genius of Viper Manor.
   Please, call me Luccia.

Luccia:
   You vill all be
   my guinea pigs.

Serge:
   Can we PLEASE take a moment
   and talk about this?
   (I really, really don't
   want to be her guinea pig--
   she might turn me into
   something like that critter
   in the cage in the corner!)

Luccia:
   Have no fear--this vill
   not hurt a bit.

Serge:
   (Ulp!)

Luccia:
   Finish dem...

[Battle of the Bulbs. When the party wins,
Luccia lets them out of the cage.]

Luccia:
   Vonderful...
   You have exceeded my
   expectations by
   defeating my Bulbs.

Serge:
   (Phew! Looks like we're
   not going to end up
   purple and tentacle-y
   after all.)

Luccia:
   Now, please leave.
   
Luccia:
   I must input dis battle
   data for future study...

Luccia:
   I'm busy.
   I vill let you go.
   Now leave.
   
[snip Pip--like Van, he is not recruitable]
   
Luccia:
   Vait...!

Serge:
   (Now what?!)

Luccia:
   I am extremely interested
   in all of you.
   I cannot leave right now, but
   kom by vhen you need my help.
   I am villing to help you.

Serge:
   (I'm not sure I want to know
   what her idea of "help" is.)

Luccia:
   Ooh-hoho-hoho...
   I'll be vaiting...

====================================================
Mess Hall, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

 [Glenn]
   What!?
   It fell down again?
   How many times do
   I have to tell you?
   It's......to the right and
   ......to the left.
   Got that?
   
Glenn:
   Better write this down
   before I forget.

Serge:
   (Is he talking about...?!)

==================================================== 
Barracks, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

Glenn:
   I'd better write that down.

[Glenn writes the passcode on the wall]

Glenn:
   There...

[Serge et al. walk over and take a look
as soon as Glenn is out of the way]

Serge:
   (YES! Now we can get through
   that door with the stupid
   snake statue!)

--------------------------------------

[If they talk to Glenn]

Glenn:
   Ever since that guest from
   Porre came, the general has
   been acting strange.
   If only I could consult my
   brother about this...

Serge:
   (Wait a second..."guest
   from Porre"? Didn't that
   Karsh guy say it was "the
   general's guest" that
   wanted me...?)

--------------------------------------

====================================================   
Room, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

[Harle is lying down in one of the ground-floor
rooms]

Harlequin:
   Se taire...
   Pleaze, shut up...

Serge:
   (What's with her?)

====================================================   
Karsh's Room, Viper Manor (Another)
====================================================

Serge:
   (Ulp! That's the guy who
   attacked me before--"Karsh",
   I think. We might be in
   trouble again if he
   recognizes me...)

Karsh:
   Hey, you there!

Serge:
   (!!)

Karsh:
   Don't just stand in the
   doorway, you dumbasses! If
   you need to talk to me,
   say something!

Serge:
   (Phew, looks like the
   Dragoon suits are working.
   Maybe we can even get some
   information out of him.)

   Um...

[Another massive mess, courtesy of Infodumps-R-Us]

   ~~~Who...are you?           |    ~~~Who is this Serge?     |   ~~~Who's General Viper?
                               |                              |
Karsh:                         | Karsh:                       |
Serge:
   WHAT!? You dunno who I am!? |    Oh, you mean, junior.     |
   (It's probably a bit risky
   What are you, rookies!?     |    I had orders to bring in  |
   asking that, but I don't
                               |    the ghost of that boy who |
   remember ever hearing
Serge:                         |    died 10 years ago.        |    about him until all this
   Uh...pretty much. (It's     |    But we had unexpected     |    weirdness started happening...)
   better than letting on      |    company and he got away.  |
   that we're burglars.)       |                              | Karsh:
                               | Karsh:                       |    The general is the head of
Karsh:                         |    He seemed way too human   |    the Viper clan and has governed
   Well, listen up and         |    to be a ghost, though...  |    these islands for generations.
   don't forget!               |                              |
   I'm one of the 4 Devas of   |
Serge:                       | Serge:
   the Acacia Dragoons, headed |
   ...                       |    (Guess he doesn't suspect...
   by General Viper.           |
                             |    and now that he's brought it
   The name's Karsh!           | Karsh:                       |   
up, I do remember people in
   Gah-haha-ha-ha!             |    Aaah, I don't know what   |   
Arni talking about the Viper
                               |    that guest from Porre     |   
Clan. Mostly stuff about how
Serge:                         |    wants with him.           |    they were glad they'd been
   (It's a good thing this     |                              |    quiet lately...since "the
   guy doesn't wear hats--he'd | Serge:                       |    General" disappeared. Two
   have a hard time getting    |    (So this guy doesn't know |    generals in one family? They
   anything big enough for     |    anything either. I guess  |    must have a real thing for
   that swelled head!)         |    I really am going to have |    the military!)
                               |    to talk to the General... |
                               |    or the "guest from        | Karsh:
                               |    Porre". Why would some    |    But that's not all.
                               |    Porrean be interested in  |    When he was ordered to
                               |    me?)                      |    take up a new post
                               |                              |    on the main continent,
                               |                              |    he made quite an impact
                               |                              |    as the leader of the
                               |                              |    Acacia Dragoons and
                               |                              |    was promoted to general.
                               |                              |

                               |                              | Serge:
                               |                              |    (The continent...guess that
                               |                              |    that explains why he'd get
                               |                              |    visitors from Porre.)
                               |                              |
                               |                              | Karsh:   
                               |                              |    He has retired from the
                               |                              |    army since then and currently
                               |                              |    serves as the lord of El Nido.
                               |                              |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  ~~~Tell me about Viper Manor | ~~~What's this Frozen Flame?       |    ~~~Never mind...
                               |                                    |
Karsh:                         |
Serge:                             | Serge:
   This manor was built        |
  (The Frozen Flame... Lots        |    (If we talk for too
   by the general's ancestors  |
  of people in Termina said        |    long, he might start
   100 years ago,              |
  it was here. I don't             |    to suspect us...)
   when people first began     |
  believe all that stuff           |
   colonizing the El Nido      |
  they were spouting about         |
   Archipelago.                |
  miracles, but...)                |
                               |                                    |
Karsh:                         | Karsh:                             |
   Treat the place             |    Aaaah... That's a top-priority, |
   with respect!               |    classified secret.              |
                               |                                    |
Serge:                         | Serge:                             |
   (I guess that's all I'm     |    (A secret... That means that    |
   going to get--it would be   |    someone here thinks it really   |
   too suspicious if I tried   |    exists!)                        |
   to ask directly about the   |                                    |
   traps and whatnot...)       | Karsh:                             |
                               |    Its existence has been rumored  |
                               |    in the northern countries       |
                               |    for generations...              |
                               |    Legend claims it contains       |
                               |    mysterious powers which can     |
                               |    guide anima and change          |
                               |    history...                      |
                               |    But no details are known.       |
                               |
                                    |
                               | Serge:                             |
                               |    (That means that the Frozen     |
                               |    Flame could explain all the     |
                               |    freaky stuff that's been        |
                               |    happening... Damn! I wish       |
                               |    this guy knew more.)            |


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Outside in the hallway, if Kid is in the group, and if Serge asked about
the Flame...]

Kid:
   Y'know, mate, the Frozen
   Flame's pretty dangerous. Ya
   shouldn't just ask people
   about it.

Guile:                          | Serge:
   That implies that you have   |   I didn't think just ASKING
   some form of interest in it. |   could hurt anything.

Kid:
   ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

====================================================   
ZOAH'S ROOM, VIPER MANOR (ANOTHER)
====================================================

Zoah:
   WHAT?
   WHAT IS IT?

Serge:
   Ow... (Does he always shout
   like that?)

   ~~~Who are you?      |   ~~~Who are the 4 Devas?  |    ~~~Tell me about Dario          |    ~~~Never mind...
                        |                            |                                    |
Zoah:                   | Zoah:                      | Zoah:                              |
Serge:
   HAH! I AM ZOAH.      |    I SAY 4, BUT ACTUALLY,  |    HE WIELDED THE HOLY SWORD,      |
   (If I try to listen
   ONE OF THE 4 VALIANT |    THERE ARE ONLY 3 OF US. |    EINLANZER, AND WAS A TRUSTED    |
   to this guy any
   DEVAS OF THE ACACIA  |    KARSH NEXT DOOR,        |    CONFIDANT OF GENERAL VIPER.     |
   longer, I'm gonna
   DRAGOONS.            |    MARCY IN THE LIBRARY,   |    HE WAS ENGAGED TO THE GENERAL'S |
   go deaf!)
                        |    AND I.                  |    DAUGHTER, MISS RIDDEL, AND      |
Serge:                  |                            |    WAS NEXT IN LINE TO BECOME      |
   (And I can't really  | Zoah:                      |    THE HEAD OF THE VIPER CLAN.     |
   ask, "So what's a    |    OUR LEADER, DARIO,      |    HOWEVER, HE DIED AN HONORABLE   |
   Deva?" without       |    DIED IN AN ACCIDENT     |    DEATH DURING HIS MISSION TO     |
   making him           |    3 YEARS AGO...          |    THE ISLE OF THE DAMNED,         |
   suspicious.)         |                            |    3 YEARS AGO.                    |
                        |
Serge:                     |                                    |
                        |
   He must have been       | Zoah:                              |
                        |
   really impressive for   |    KARSH WAS ON THAT               |
                        |
   you guys not to have    |    SAME MISSION, BUT REFUSES       |
                        |
   chosen a replacement.   |    TO SAY MUCH ABOUT IT.           |
                        |                            |    DARIO AND KARSH WERE            |
                        |
Zoah:                      |    CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, ALWAYS       |
                        |
   INDEED. HE WAS THE      |    COMPETING WITH ONE ANOTHER.     |
                        |
   FINEST SWORDSMAN IN     |    DARIO'S DEATH HAPPENED          |
                        |
   EL NIDO.                |    SOON AFTER HE WAS ENGAGED       |
                        |                            |    TO MISS RIDDEL.                 |
                        |                            |    MANY RUMORS HAVE SURFACED       |
                        |                            |    REGARDING HIS DEATH.            |
                        |                            |
                                    |
                        |                            | Serge:                             |
                        |                            |    (It does sound kind of          |
                        |                            |    suspicious...but it doesn't     |
                        |                            |    have anything to do with us.)   |
                        |                            |                                    |




To be continued in Chapter 8b...


mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #43 on: July 19, 2009, 08:53:49 pm »
Beautiful! This may just be the best portion I've read. Only one line sounded out of character:
Quote
Leena:
   You know, we haven't
   seen any girl dragoons...
   I think I'm going to have
   to bind my breasts to get
   into this stupid armour.
I dunno, it just seems to un-ladylike for Leena. I dunno, I just can't see her saying breasts. Meh, whatever. The line made me chuckle, so it's all good.

Acacia Sgt

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #44 on: July 19, 2009, 09:05:44 pm »
So, Pip is not recruitable, but Serge can still release him from the cage?

Because if it wasn't Pip during...

[/I]
Serge:
   Can we PLEASE take a moment
   and talk about this?
   (I really, really don't
   want to be her guinea pig--
   she might turn me into
   something like that critter
   in the cage in the corner
!)

I can see why you didn't added dialogue for that.