what would be the lamest retcon ever?

[ONSLAUGHT]

I'd like to change mine to that.

[Delta Dragon]

Lames Retcon: Lavos wasn't really trying to destroy the world, he was just a misunderstood cute, fluffy, and adorable creature. Crono and Co didn't defeat him, they explained to him the wonders of friendship, sunshine, and picnics in the park. And there was no time travel, it was all a make-believe adventure Crono had one day.

O.O  Whoa.  Thank you Square for not making Crono a Teletubbies clone.

[utunnels]

Lames Retcon: Lavos wasn't really trying to destroy the world, he was just a misunderstood cute, fluffy, and adorable creature. Crono and Co didn't defeat him, they explained to him the wonders of friendship, sunshine, and picnics in the park. And there was no time travel, it was all a make-believe adventure Crono had one day.

http://www.rock.sannet.ne.jp/kiga2hon-dayo/kurono098.html

[Mr Bekkler]

Lames Retcon: Lavos wasn't really trying to destroy the world, he was just a misunderstood cute, fluffy, and adorable creature. Crono and Co didn't defeat him, they explained to him the wonders of friendship, sunshine, and picnics in the park. And there was no time travel, it was all a make-believe adventure Crono had one day.

http://www.rock.sannet.ne.jp/kiga2hon-dayo/kurono098.html

too crazy. word for word. there it is. tried google translate and it made LESS sense if that makes any sense. just too crazy.

[ONSLAUGHT]

You sir, created something evil here.

[placidchap]

Lames Retcon: Lavos wasn't really trying to destroy the world, he was just a misunderstood cute, fluffy, and adorable creature. Crono and Co didn't defeat him, they explained to him the wonders of friendship, sunshine, and picnics in the park. And there was no time travel, it was all a make-believe adventure Crono had one day.

Or in other words...a Rugrats episode.  Not a bad idea...

[Lord J Esq]

Gather round, boys and girls! Who wants to be the first to kiss my Fluffy Flame?

[Thought]

http://www.rock.sannet.ne.jp/kiga2hon-dayo/kurono098.html

Hilarious. I am sure it would be more so if I could actually read Japanese.

[hiddensquire]

"It was all a dream" is generally the lamest ending or retcon you can factor into ANY game, so, the Doreen option is clearly the lamest of those presented.  The "cute lavos" idea is still basically an extension of the "it was all a dream" idea, but I do agree that is more lame.

I think a better question would be: "What would be the most horrifying retcon ever?"  If such were the case, I would certainly choose "Lynx is Crono's father too."

Marle, while she's good, she would be nowhere near good enough for the whole "Crono & co. were kidnapped and she has to save them" act. Crono is the only character amogst any of them who has the capability to do such a thing by himself. Any of the others would be a no [. . .]

This isn't really a retcon idea so much as a sequel idea, but I have to comment on it anyway.  I mean, seriously?  ANY of the the CT characters would be suitable for a solo game EXCEPT Marle.  Her personality is just way too co-dependent, and, combat-wise, she'd be good for nothing other than constantly healing herself.  Frog, Robo, and Ayla each have both the all-around combat capability and the motivation to go rescue all of the other party members, so that's easy.  Lucca also would have the motivation, but is a glass cannon combat-wise; however, she's enough of a genius to work around all of her shortcomings one way or another.  Magus is unquestionably capable, but one might ask whether he would care enough to undertake such a quest.

[Lord J Esq]

I too used to share this attitude about Marle. However, without giving away any secrets, one of the best aspects of the upcoming game Crimson Echoes is that we get to see how Marle pulls it together when she's on her own. It goes a long way toward helping us imagine a self-sufficient Marle who is still in line with her dependencies from CT.

[placidchap]

ANY of the the CT characters would be suitable for a solo game EXCEPT Marle. 

Princess Peach pulled it off.

[Chrono'99]

"It was all a dream" is generally the lamest ending or retcon you can factor into ANY game, so, the Doreen option is clearly the lamest of those presented.

One of the Zelda games implemented it pretty well IMO.

[Delta Dragon]

"It was all a dream" is generally the lamest ending or retcon you can factor into ANY game, so, the Doreen option is clearly the lamest of those presented.

One of the Zelda games implemented it pretty well IMO.

Links awakening?

[Chrono'99]

Yeah. Somehow it's as if the whole game was a preparation for that ending (instead of it being tacked on just for shock value). It made the "death" of the characters tragic. Also when you finish the game you finally realize the meaning of the title "Link's Awakening".

[ONSLAUGHT]

ANY of the the CT characters would be suitable for a solo game EXCEPT Marle. 

Princess Peach pulled it off.

That game can't be 100% legit. Even if Nintendo made it.

If Mario barely saves Peach time and time again with Luigi's help and without his help it's a miracle the day is saved, how in the hell is it that when the same trap is set up AND Mario AND Luigi are both kidnapped and suddenly Peach is able to save the day because she's PMSing throughout the whole game. Seriously, that's how you play and apparantly that can stop Bowser. If THAT can stop Bowser, then hell, any regular person male or female could walk up to Bowser and start ranting at him and he'd cry like a little baby in the corner. That's not even 1/8th of it.

Tell me how the whole thing can sound 100% true. How.
And if it is legit than honest to god, they seriously need a game where punches her right out and tells her "If you could do more work than me the entire time, why didn't you ever do something to save yourself?! I'd still help you but it'd make things a lot easier! WHY didn't you do this before?!"
In fact, I see that as a fitting ending to Super Princess Peach.
Mario getting mad would also suffice as an ending to the majority of the series. Instead of a simple kiss or anything "You risked your life for me! I'm gonna bake you a cake!" Seth McFarlane settled the best Mario ending of all, and the most realistic one personality wise.