Author Topic: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)  (Read 20557 times)

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« on: October 05, 2008, 07:33:48 pm »
It's been a while since I've tried my hand at any fan fiction, but last night I had a dream which roughly outlined the plot of a true sequel to Chrono Trigger.  Obviously, writing a game and writing a story are two different things.  Writing a game is more akin to writing a movie, though even that isn't a perfect translation.  Games are more based on the interaction and immersion in a world, rather than complexity of plot or characters.  It's this immersion which causes us to fall in love with games, and which makes them so memorable.

Chrono Trigger is unusual in that it had a very strong and detailed plot, with more ins and outs than most games, and with strong characters (though with admitedly simple back stories... "remedied" by Chrono Cross).  It's one of the reasons the game is still listed as one of the best RPGs of all time, and one of the reasons that, despite the numerous times I've played it, I can't seem to bring myself to get any ending other than the main one, to see the story through to full completion and resolution.

In any case, this is not a perfect translation of what was given to me in my dream.  Rather, it was that plot then put through the translation of a story format.  I don't want to give the story away, but I will say that ultimately it will deal with the rise of Poore to a military power and one possible resolution for the dissapearance of Gaurdia and two of our favourite characters.  I'm going to keep working on this until I either get bored or finish it.  Having a place to put it up for comments/criticism may go a long ways towards the latter, though.

With that said, feel free to comment in this thread.  I'll always post the additions to the story with a bolded pre-heading, so they don't get too lost.  If I finish, I'll compile and edit the whole thing, and that should take care of any organizational issues.

Without further ado, I give you my version of Chrono Break.

To read the chapters, please use the link below.  Scroll to the bottom of the page and you should see the fan fiction under the title of Chrono Break, and submitted as seperate chapters.

http://www.honestgamers.com/systems/game.php?game_id=2242&platform=Super+Nintendo&abr=SNES&gametitle=Chrono+Trigger&region=all

UPDATE!
As of June, 2009, the above links will no longer work.  Instead, the fiction has been relocated to Fan Fiction.net.  It will take some time to get all the parts up there, but I expect to be fully caught up within a week or two.  Since I'm having to go back and repost many earlier parts, all parts have been slightly edited for continuity and style.  Eventually, I plan on a full rewrite, maybe even turning it into an original setting that could be published without fear of copyright infringement.  But for now, the re-posted segments can be considered "final cuts."

Enjoy!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5066583/1/Chrono_Break
« Last Edit: May 16, 2009, 10:51:51 pm by Zipp Dementia »

Chocobo_Fan

  • Squaretable Knight (+400)
  • *
  • Posts: 419
  • Is there no salvation in all the world?
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2008, 08:52:06 pm »
Pretty cool! Me like! :D For future reference, though, "it's" always means "it is". When using an "it" possessive, you say "its". I know, it's nitpicking, but you'll want your spelling/grammar in top shape if you're writing a story. It is quite interesting, though... I like the fact that Crono doesn't like talking. ^_^ Poor him. Good thing he has Nadia/Marle to help him. :) (her Japanese name is "Marludia", by the way, if you want to include that for whatever reason. I think Nadia sounds better, personally) I like the dream thing, though. Very interesting and foreshadow-y. At first I thought it was the final battle, but instead it was poor little Crono facing the godlike alien parasite alone with a wooden katana... Poor him. :( I imagine it's a reference to the fact that Lavos is still alive-ish, and wants to kill Crono and Co. in the most painful way possible? Pretty cool. :) I'm definitely hooked to see what happens next. :D

Edit: Oh, and you should italicize the dream section, or at least the wake-up calls. It's a good thing to do to separate it from reality.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2008, 05:32:58 pm by Chocobo_Fan »

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2008, 10:04:43 pm »
Pretty cool! Me like! :D For future reference, though, "it's" always means "it is". When using an "it" possessive, you say "its". I know, it's nitpicking, but you'll want your spelling/grammar in top shape if you're writing a story. It is quite interesting, though... I like the fact that Crono doesn't like talking. ^_^ Poor him. Good thing he has Nadia/Marle to help him. :) (her Japanese name is "Marludia", by the way, if you want to include that for whatever reason. I think Nadia sounds better, personally) I like the dream thing, though. Very interesting and foreshadow-y. At first I thought it was the final battle, but instead it was poor little Crono facing the godlike alien parasite alone with a wooden katana... Poor him. :( I imagine it's a reference to the fact that Lavos is still alive-ish, and wants to kill Crono and Co. in the most painful way possible? Pretty cool. :) I'm definitely hooked to see what happens next. :D

Hey, first comment, great!

I'm mildly (AKA greatly) embarrased by the "its" thing.  As a graduate with an English degree, I really should've noticed those stuck in there.  You know how it is, sometimes in the heat of writing... I'll have to be more careful, it seems.

Marludia... I didn't know that.  Very cool name.  For my own sanity, I'll probably be sticking to the American versions of the names, though I'm glad to have the information.  Thanks!

I don't really want to give anything away, so I won't comment too directly on the Lavos thing.  I will say that you shouild expect to see the story go in a drastically different direction than most "Trigger Fics" (at least, based on the ones I've read).  The characters as I envision them are having to deal with things more mundane than the end of the world, and some will find that a more difficult task, ironically.

I may be able to get Part II up tonight.  Thanks for reading!

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2008, 11:00:36 pm »
Part II

Breakfast was more of a feast than a meal.  It was Crono’s habit to have food on the table all day long, both to provide his guests with nourishment as well as to give him something to do while listening to them.  He ignored the fact that this habit had had something of an unfortunate influence upon the growth of his paunch.  Still, Crono was a hard muscled man at 21, well built, with an impressive mane of fiery red hair that made him an imposing leader.  Still, he thought the effect would be greater with a blade in his hand than with a fork.

His day passed, as usual, in a blur of faces and complaints.  The only good thing about it was that it forced all irrational emotions from his mind, leaving him with an unrelenting, but familiar, boredom.

The matters of the day were routine.  Poore was engaged in trading agreements with Choras and Medina that needed his approval.  Nadia looked the agreements over, made a few changes, and he signed his name.  Most of the other matters were resolved in a similar fashion.

Then there was the matter of local taxing.  Some people in Truce were complaining that they were being taxed unfairly compared to Poore.  Crono had to admit that taxes were definitely higher than they’d been during Nadia’s father’s reign, but even Nadia admitted that they were no higher than necessary.  The kingdom was growing at an alarming rate.  Poore was now the largest city-state in the known world, while between it and the castle numerous smaller cities had sprung up in land that was once deserted except for the odd hermit and Shittake monster.  The truth was, the kingdom was growing too fast.  To maintain some semblance of infrastructure, roads and farms needed to be built, and such things took resources.  Nadia’s father, perhaps sensing that he was approaching the end of his life, had avoided the issue, preferring to die as a loved ruler and leave the mess for his successor to clean up.  And yet Crono couldn’t think an ill thought of the man.  He had treated Crono as his own son, and had hinted more than once that he felt Crono had acted as the foil to close the age old gap between his daughter and himself.  The old man had died without any regrets, and Crono didn’t begrudge him the act.

Even so, the matter was now his problem, and he would be expected to find a solution.  The truth of the matter was that even though Poore did have the largest landmass on the continent, much of that landmass was taken up with Fiona’s Forest, acres upon acres of green wilderness considered holy ground, and which couldn’t be disturbed for farming, timber, or the building of homes.  Crono himself made sure that the place was untouched.  He had a rather personal connection to it.  Thus, while Poore had the largest population, it was confined to a small area and the city state produced little beyond the arts, which it was famed for.  A sculpture or painting from Poore would gain much in trade from a wealthy family in Medina or Choras, and Crono himself was proud of the city’s artistic achievements.  The literature, too, was brilliant, as Poore was home to the foremost scholars of the day.  There one could find experts not only on philosophy and religion, but also on technology, commerce, and city planning.  Poore’s expertise allowed for the creation of sewers, public buildings such as libraries and schools, the wide use of electricity, and safer forms of sea transportation.  These leaps forward in evolution were all the more impressive for having taken place over the course of half a decade.

These advances were helped by the fact that the Zenan continent held one of the most brilliant minds in the world, that of Lucca Ashtear.  Lucca had been instrumental in the establishment of Poore as a scholarly city, and her works featured prominently in the Poorian libraries.  Her presence on the Zenan continent had ensured the growth of Gaurdia’s culture, single-handedly in some ways.  For instance, though electricity was in wide use across the world, it was Lucca who had developed a way to capture the very power of the elements to produce it.  Thus, while places such as Medina and Choras were still relying on fossil fuels and steam to provide them electricity, Gaurdia had wind turbines and solar panels that fed large electrical plants.

An active inventor, Lucca was hands on with everything she did and had helped build most of the plants herself, although of late, the scientist had become reclusive, mostly keeping to her home on an island off the shore of Zenan.  There she had recently begun an orphanage, and Crono assumed she was busy much of the time with the children.

In comparison to Poore’s massive achievements, Truce seemed very archaic indeed.  It was Crono’s hometown, so he held a certain fondness for it, but while Poore had turned into a city of massive artistic and technological value, Truce had grown in size without growing in culture.  Being situated along the mountains and coast, it produced little in the way of crops and remained isolated from the rest of the kingdom.  It had already been decided that the next summer’s fair, traditionally held in Truce, would be held instead in Poore, a move that had hurt the pride of many of Truce’s citizens.  They were mostly rugged individualists, who had begun to chafe under the mandate of paying homage to a king.  As the rest of the kingdom grew without them, they began to secede more and more.  Despite all of this, two things made Truce an important piece of the Gaurdia empire.  For one, it was the largest and most accessible port town on the continent.  By some quirk of the tides, it was far easier to sail a ship from Medina and Choras north to Truce than it was to sail south to Poore.  Secondly, Truce was the home of the great swordsmith Melchior, who also happened to be an extremely learned sage and personal friend of Crono.  Though the old man didn’t take much pleasure anymore in the crafting of weapons, his presence still ensured that the Gaurdia military, while small for the amount of land the kingdom owned, had the best equipment in the world.  He provided enough of a deterrent to ensure that Gaurdia had little to worry about from foreign invasion.  Not to mention, of course, Crono’s own prowess in battle.  Though none had witnessed it themselves, it was still widely believed that the King and Queen of Gaurdia both possessed powerful magic, and one had only to look at Crono to see that his body was that of a warrior.

Yet it seemed his greatest threats lied within his own borders.  Truce’s citizens, usually content with just complaining, grumbling, and eventually paying their taxes, seemed to have reached the end of their short tempers.  It was midday when Crono received his nervous tax collector, who said that the month’s taxes would not be coming in from Truce.

Perhaps it was a leftover of his emotions from the morning, but Crono found himself incensed at the news.  His usually quiet demeanor shattered along with a glass goblet that he tossed at the wall in frustration.  In one quick motion he was out of his chair, stalking around the table towards the poor tax collector.

“Damn those Trucian whores!  Pig’s sons and ship rats, the lot of them!  This is an act of blatant secession!  How would they fare without our farms and military protection?”

In his anger, Crono seemed to grow taller.  A strange stuffiness overcame the entire room.  Nadia felt the hairs on her head standing up the same way they did before a lightning storm.  The tax collector squeaked out an incomprehensible reply and bowed repeatedly, as if this would salve the situation.  On the contrary, though stunned by her husband’s uncharacteristic outburst, Nadia managed to maintain her composure.

“And how would we fare without their trade?  We have to maintain a symbiotic relationship with each of our cities, or else we’re just a well provisioned castle.  Please calm down.”

“But they don’t understand that, do they?  No, this is an act of secession.  They wouldn’t make a claim like this unless they had something planned.  They must be getting support from one of the other cities!  Or maybe they’ve got farms hidden up in those mountains?  Well, if it’s war they want, then they can have it!”

The excitement in his voice shocked even him.  He fell silent again.  Nadia stood and dismissed the tax collector, who ran off with a final thankful bow.  She felt fortunate that only one of their civil servants had witnessed the episode, though she still suspected that the event would be all over the castle within the day, and spread throughout the kingdom by the end of the month.

She came over to Crono and touched his arm gently, then kissed him on the cheek.  It was like kissing one of Lucca’s batteries.  She felt a slight jolt through her mouth.

“How about we call it quits for today?”

Crono didn’t answer.

“We could go out of the castle, you know?  It’s been nearly a week since we last left, I think.  It’s been busy, hasn’t it?”

Crono looked at her and nodded.  His skin, which had been hot, cooled suddenly and noticeably.  “Maybe you’re right.  Ah but hell, it has been rough.  A bit of fresh air would be nice.  A day off would be nicer.”

“It’s only going to be like this for a short time.  It always takes a while for people to get used to a new reign.  There’s always grumbling.  I remember father used to nearly pull his hair out when I was a child.”

“I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a ruler.”

“How about simply being my husband?”

She kissed him again, this time on the lips.  He gave her a weak smile that grew as an idea seemed to come to him.

“We could run away.  Run away like the old days.”

She smiled in return, but it was a sad smile, filled with the memories of ringing bells and the slow shock of sudden collision.  He laughed.

“We’re well and truly trapped then,” he said.  “But at least we’re trapped together.”

He kissed her again and again, and she drew close to him.  He held her in his arms, thinking that he really had everything he needed to be happy.  He knew, more than anyone, that time would show this, if only he could wait.  But deep within himself, he felt his rage still burning softly, making him feel more alive than he had in years.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2008, 11:06:48 pm by Zipp Dementia »

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2008, 03:28:57 pm »
By the by... this is the right board for this topic, right?

~ Zipp, hoping to have Part III up today

Chocobo_Fan

  • Squaretable Knight (+400)
  • *
  • Posts: 419
  • Is there no salvation in all the world?
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2008, 05:47:54 pm »
By the by... this is the right board for this topic, right?

I believe so, yes.

And EXCELLENT touch with the electricity when Crono got angry. I loved it. :D Poor him, though. :/ Ah, I think this is how Guardia's going to fall. Crono, Marle, and Lucca obviously cannot be participating in the battle, otherwise poor Poore (no pun intended :p) would be doomed. (Luminaire, Flare, Life 2, Cure... Guardia's, like, invincible! ;) However, if Truce turns on them...well, won't that be interesting, eh? I do feel sympathy for the poor town, though. I can see why they'd be angry, since they're nothing but a shadow compared to Poore. I'll bet Lavos has a hand in this, as well...but I'll wait to see what you have up your sleeve. ;)

Great story, can't wait until next chapter! :D

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2008, 06:45:35 pm »
Quote
I believe so, yes.

And EXCELLENT touch with the electricity when Crono got angry. I loved it. :D

I snuck that in there after your favorable response to the little "non-talker" bit, so you had a hand in that one, friend.

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2008, 11:32:33 pm »
Part III

“... and so they want the taxes lowered.”

Nadia’s voice was a calm amidst chaos.  Lucca’s main room, as always, was packed corner to corner with odds and ends, tidbits and tinkerings.  And now, children.  Crono sat on a rickety chair with an orphan on each knee, bouncing both of them in a steady creaking rhythm while they played a clapping game with each other, calling out a memorized rhyme in time with the claps.  Nadia sat nearby at a cluttered table, sipping tea that two other children (now chasing each other around the cluttered room) had prepared for her.

Lucca Ashtear herself poked her head out from behind a mess of electronics and metal and wiped her forehead with an oily rag.  Though usually quick to reply, now she simply regarded Nadia, as if debating whether an answer was required of her.  Of the three friends, she had perhaps changed the most in appearance.  Although still a bookish girl, she looked even more ruffled these days, as if personal hygiene was a secondary function in her life.  Her hair was cropped short to prevent her the trouble of caring for it, and her nails were chewed to the quick.  She rarely wore socks, so her feet had a blackish tint to them, as if she’d walked through soot.  Her glasses were huge, rather than large, and gave the constant impression that she was studying intently whatever she looked at.

When she finally did reply, she ducked back under the machinery and spoke as she worked, as if not really wanting to be part of the conversation.

“You could raise taxes in Poore.  They would pay without a fuss.  They enjoy the fruits of the kingdom too much to complain.”

Crono dismissed the idea.  It had come to him many times already.  “Truce enjoys the same treatment.  I won’t have one city paying more to make up for the faults of another.”

“Fault?  And what exactly is a fault?”  Lucca’s voice was quizzical.  Crono had known her from the time he was a child, and he was keenly aware of all her little ways.  He recognized her voice now as the voice she adopted when talking herself through a difficult problem.  He prepared for a lecture.  Lucca didn’t disappoint.

“I suppose first we must look at the etymology of the word.  It comes from the Zealian word fallere, which means to deceive or disappoint.  But then it is also used in geology, where it indicates evidence of relative movement as designated by a fracture.  Taban, could you hand me that wrench?”

One of the children running around the room veered in their course to grab the wrench and put it in Lucca’s outstretched hand.  She went back to talking, grunting occasionally as she tightened one bolt or loosened another.

“Of course, a fracture indicates a break between two objects.  In the case of geology this can be represented as a chasm or as a simple crack in a rock... which is really just a small chasm.  I suppose that’s another line of inquiry, though, the relative nature of perception as based on size.”

Nadia and Crono shared a bemused glance.  Lucca certainly hadn’t lost her ability to chase tangents.

“In this case, though, that is irrelevant.  What really defines your situation is the nature of the fracture that you are perceiving as present.  Obviously Truce hasn’t broken in two, so it is to be assumed you are discussing a fracture between intent and action, or maybe more specifically, between expectation and reality.  Which brings us to the question... what are you expecting out of Truce?”

Lucca looked at Crono, her eyes magnified behind her glasses.  He felt like he was a specimen under one of her microscopes.  The children clapping distracted him, he couldn’t formulate a real answer.  After a moment, Lucca continued.

“Of course, another meaning to the word fault is weakness, which implies then that you see Truce as weak.  Which brings us to another discussion on the point of what makes something weak.  The correct answer in this case, especially if the problem is mechanical, is to define where something is structurally weak and then tighten it.”

As if to illustrate her point, Lucca began furiously tightening a screw bolt on the top of her machinery.  A blast of steam seemed to indicate that she’d done enough.  She stopped and looked at Crono again.

“Of course, tightening it too much can result in too much pressure and can bring down the whole system.  In this case, strength becomes the ultimate weakness, or fault, if you will.”

For a moment, the room was silent.  Then Nadia giggled.  “You always go too far with your explanations, Lucca.”  Her laughter was pleasant to Crono, relaxing him, allowing him to laugh as well.  Certainly laughing was easier than trying to decipher Lucca’s riddles.  Nadia took another sip of tea and continued.  “Anyway, the solution is simple.  It’s as you said, Poore’s taxes will increase, and we’ll lower Truce’s.”

Crono stopped bouncing the children on his knee.  Oblivious, they continued their game.  “And give in to the demands of rebels?”

“They aren’t really rebels.  No one is contesting our reign.”

“Before you know it, they’ll be writing their own trade agreements and charging us for access to the harbours!”

“Love, this is simply natural discontent.  The kingdom is growing fast, and no one wants to be left behind.”

“You’re not speaking sense.  No kind of discontent is natural.”

“It is natural when a reign is changed.  Early on a king has to be generous, to win the hearts of his people, to show them that their lives will go on as normal.  There’s been a lot of change lately.  People are nervous.  Give it time, and the grumbling will go away.”

Crono put the children on the ground and stood up.  “That was the way of your father.  Just wait until it becomes someone else’s problem.”

“That’s not what I meant.”  Nadia’s voice was cold.

“Where would we have been if we’d waited for the future to just happen?  Things don’t just magically get better.  Someone’s got to take charge.”

At that moment, a young girl came running in.

“Lucca!  Lucca!  Kidd is crying!”

Lucca got up and wiped her hands on her trousers.  Seeing her standing, Crono realized how thin she’d become.  And there was something tired about the way she carried herself.  It wasn’t until she’d left the room, Nadia and the children following, that he realized she had simply gotten older.

Alone in the room now, Crono walked around and looked at the product of years of tinkering and collecting.  Lucca had certainly kept busy.  He wandered over to the machine she’d been working on before she left.  To his eyes it appeared to be a random assortment of pipes, levers, and keyboards.  Some parts seemed to have limited locomotion, and steam would occasionally blast out from an exposed tube.  Wires stretched all over the contraption, marked with little sticky notes labeling them in an untidy scrawl which was as indecipherable as the machine itself.  He felt slightly ill looking at the mess.  His own room had always been relatively tidy.  He was somewhat compulsive about the order of his space.  He needed things to be simple in order to function.  He wondered how the children who lived here fared, and suddenly imagined an entire house of Luccas, all as disorderly and chaotic as her.

He could hear her voice now, coming from the other room.  She was talking to Nadia about Kidd, the little girl she’d found in the woods near her home a year ago, the girl whom she believed had some connection with the events they’d all been involved in five years ago.  The girl who had the same pendant around her neck that Nadia wore, the pendant of the royal family passed down by the Zealians.  How the pendant could exist twice in the same era (for Nadia still wore hers) was a baffling conundrum.  Lucca, of course, had her theories, but Crono tended to try and steer her away from such postulations.  They made his head hurt.

When she’d first found Kidd, it had seemed to Crono that Lucca viewed the child as simply a fascinating paradox.  The very fact that Lucca hadn’t simply named the child Kid, as if categorizing her, seemed to support this theory, but listening to her coo over the child in the other room, Crono had to admit that Lucca seemed to have real feelings for the child.  Nadia wasn’t saying much in response and Crono imagined the pain she had to be feeling.  He knew that Nadia longed for a child.  She had become pregnant shortly after their marriage, but the birth had ended prematurely, and she hadn’t shown signs of carrying a child since.

Though their child had never made it into the world alive, Crono still felt strangely attached to its memory.  He tried not to think about it, but sometimes the sight of children would bring a sadness in his heart so strong that he would have to fight back tears.  He and Nadia never talked about it.  Each was left to their own longing.  Even so, he prepared himself to silently support her when he heard them coming back into the room.

However, his concern proved unnecessary.  The two girls were talking contentedly about nothing in particular.  Seeing Nadia so seemingly carefree made Crono feel strongly displaced.  He said little more until they left.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2008, 07:30:00 pm by Zipp Dementia »

Chocobo_Fan

  • Squaretable Knight (+400)
  • *
  • Posts: 419
  • Is there no salvation in all the world?
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2008, 05:26:09 pm »
Interesting chapter. I don't have much to say on this one, except that Kid's Japanese name is Kidd, which I like a whole lot better since it's not a generic word, I edited my first post with a small detail, and that Crono's affinity in Japanese was actually "Sky" or "Heaven" ("White" if you're using CC colors) and his attacks were more like that. (He still used lightning spells, though) So while it's good that you're using the Lightning side, (sparky and excited, quick outbursts contrasting a normally calm demeanor) also keep in mind that he should also, technically, have the "generic hero" trait to him. (As in, I don't think he should be all that overjoyed to go to war and slaughter thousands of poor little soldiers...but I can understand why he'd hate the political stuff)

And poor them with the baby. Must suck to be expecting one, then find out it's dead. :(

I wonder how they're going to deal with the taxes. Crono's really paranoid, not sure if that fits his personality though. o.O

You're really using the affinities to reflect personalities really well! :D Makes you wonder about Ayla though... I guess she'd be Fire. (She actually does have a resistance to fire, so while she can't use magic, Fire seems to be her affinity)

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2008, 07:28:08 pm »
Well, do expect a certain departure from the characters as you know them from the game.  One of the overall themes of this story is to show what happens when heroes have nothing heroic to do.  I mean, how would you get back to normal life after having saved the world?  What would there be left to do?  How would you keep your everyday existence meaningful?  Against all this is another pointed question: do warriors make good peacetime rulers?

I would prepare yourself for a very dark exploration of these issues, with the characters you know and love twisted to fit them into a more realistic setting.

But then, that's what I like to do.  I don't think fan fiction should simply fulfill what we've come to expect from characters.  That kind of thing is good for a lark, but what I find really interesting is to see familiar characters challenged in ways that forces them to change in unexpected ways.

Kidd's name is duly noted.  I prefer the double d as well, so I'll probably jump back and change that.  Doesn't really affect Lucca's naming system, though ^_^

Chocobo_Fan

  • Squaretable Knight (+400)
  • *
  • Posts: 419
  • Is there no salvation in all the world?
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2008, 10:11:45 am »
Huh... That's a good point. Looking forward to what you have up your sleeve. ;) This is definitely getting good. And yeah, warriors like Crono don't make good peacetime rulers... Nadia does, though she isn't what I'd call the "warrior" type.

And since you haven't looked at my first edit, I'll quote myself:

Oh, and you should italicize the dream section, or at least the wake-up calls. It's a good thing to do to separate it from reality.

But yeah. Can't wait for chapter 4! :D You're a really great writer, I hate that I'm terrible at it... (my stories never really go anywhere)

P.S. ZeaLitY mentioned you in a news post! I guess he likes this as well! :D
« Last Edit: October 10, 2008, 07:27:45 am by Chocobo_Fan »

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2008, 03:16:59 am »
Huh... That's a good point. Looking forward to what you have up your sleeve. ;) This is definitely getting good. And yeah, warriors like Crono don't make good peacetime rulers... Nadia does, though she isn't what I'd call the "warrior" type.

I'm glad you like it!  Across all the boards I've posted this, you're defenitely my favourite fan.  Not only do you comment diligently on every new part, but you post insightful comments, to boot!

Oh, and you should italicize the dream section, or at least the wake-up calls. It's a good thing to do to separate it from reality.

I intentially left the majority un-italicized so that new readers will think the dream is real.  But you're right about the wake up calls.  I'll edit that.

Quote
But yeah. Can't wait for chapter 4! :D You're a really great writer, I hate that I'm terrible at it... (my stories never really go anywhere)

Again, thank you very much!  I do have the whole story planned out, looking to be around 18 parts/chapters.  I'm working on Part IV right now.  Unfortunately I've caught a persistant flu, so my energy level has been low, and I haven't been able to work as diligently as I'd like...

Quote
P.S. ZeaLity mentioned you in a news post! I guess he likes this as well! :D

Oh?  I'll have to check it out!  Afore mentioned illness to blame again for the miss...

Chocobo_Fan

  • Squaretable Knight (+400)
  • *
  • Posts: 419
  • Is there no salvation in all the world?
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2008, 07:28:49 am »
Aw man, yeah, the flu sucks. :( I hope you feel better!

Zipp Dementia

  • Guardian (+100)
  • *
  • Posts: 135
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2008, 04:11:51 pm »
Part IV

At night, Gaurdia castle became quiet, quiet made lonely by the distinct contrast to the busyness of its days.  When Nadia had fallen asleep and even the lowliest servant had finished their chores, Crono would sometimes rise and wander the halls, his footsteps echoing back only to himself, a harmony to his heartbeat.

In recent days, during these restless hours of the night, his wandering had gained some direction, if not necessarily purpose.  He found himself more often than not in the basement of the castle where the kingdom’s greatest treasure resided: the sword Masamune.

Masamune: the blade of dreams.  The sword had a history almost as long and convoluted as time itself.  Crono was one of the few people living who knew the history in its entirety.  It wasn’t a tidy history.  The blade had never been at the center of a war.  But it had been at the outskirts of many, always present to strike a decisive blow and turn the tide towards the favour of the just and right.  Justice... Crono knew what most tried to deny... justice was a term soaked in blood.

The sword had come to rest in the castle since the end of the middle ages, when its last possessor had given it into the hands of the royal family before he passed away.  At first it had been proudly displayed in the castle’s upper halls.  But as the kingdom grew, and with it the castle’s daily traffic, suspicion of theft had arisen and the relic had been moved.  As suspicions grew higher, so the sword traveled lower, finally finding itself in the castle’s deepest and most secure chamber, a chamber that only the King himself had the key to.  There the gleaming broadsword sat unsheathed on a pillow of blue velvet.  It never required polishing, and it never rusted.  It simply sat, lit by twin electric lamps, a testament to time and the ever lasting glory of the enduring Gaurdia line.

Crono was in that chamber now, scrutinizing the blade and pondering its purpose.  It was said to be a holy relic, but Masamune was, for all its bard sung qualities, a weapon.  Could a weapon ever truly be righteous?  The question plagued him.

Visiting Lucca hadn’t given him the peace of mind he desired.  It was true, she had fought along with him and Nadia, traveling the time stream and witnessing the whole of human history, and preventing its eventual demise; despite this, he felt more comfortable here, with the blade that had endured the same trials, rather than at Lucca’s chaotic house with the person who had shared in them.  A blade was ultimately a simple thing, its motives no more complex than the arm that swung it, not near as conflicted as the mind that seized it.  Crono yearned for the days when his whole being had the easy purpose of the blade.  He hadn’t had to consider all the little consequences, only the major one, that if he didn’t act, humanity would suffer.  He had been a saviour, and no one (least of all himself) had a place to question his motives.  What he’d done he’d done for the good of humanity.  He’d attacked those who had threatened his well being.  Evil was well defined.  The planet itself had graced his actions with its blessings.

And now?  He supposed he was reaping the benefits of his brave selflessness and sacrifice.  He was, after all, ruler of the most powerful kingdom of the time.  And he was married to the most beautiful woman in the land, a woman he undeniably loved.  Our reign, Nadia had called it.  And yet, it wasn’t a true statement.  More and more he realized how little he was actually needed, now that evil had been defeated.  Nadia had a place in the new world they had created, but himself?  At one point he had been willing to sacrifice his very existence for the future of the planet.  Now it seemed a small thing to give in comparison to the endless meetings he endured every day.

Times had seemed simpler then.  And yet, what had made them simple except men who were willing to act?  What made them more complex now except the lack of such men?  Perhaps one day he would be needed again.  Surely evil couldn’t have been vanquished, only put off for a time.  Maybe Gaurdia would need military might more than political prowess in the future.  Then he could demonstrate how much he loved his people and his country by defending it with his life.  Wasn’t that what had earned him the love of the people in the first place?  And what had he become?  These days he feasted and grew fat while his sword arm atrophied at his side, exhausted at the end of each day not from defending his country but from signing his name to treaties that had little practical meaning to him.  He had weakened and, in his heart, he felt that this was the true reason Truce had turned against him.

Even Lucca had said it.  A kingdom had to be strong.  Wasn’t that why Masamune, a weapon, had become the symbol of Gaurdia’s legacy?  Why both her rulers had once been warriors?  Crono liked this line of thought and followed it to its natural end: wasn’t it his duty, as King, to show the strength of Gaurdia in the face of adversity?

Masamune seemed to shine brighter on its pedestal.  Words from the past seemed to drift from the blade to his ears, the words of the last “person” to wield it in combat.

“My hopes and dreams and those of Cyrus are held within this sword.  I must wield it.  The sword leads me.  That is my sacrifice.”

Crono nodded.  Glenn had been right.  There was always a need for strength.  And someone always had to sacrifice themselves to be that pillar.  Silently he knelt and thanked the blade in front of him.  He knew now what he had to do.  The Masamune did not respond.  After all, it was only a weapon.

Meanwhile, in their bedroom in the highest tower, Nadia rolled over.  She was dreaming that something precious to her was lost, and she couldn’t find it.  Her arm searched unconsciously for Crono’s place in the bed, and the pendant around her neck gleamed softly in the moonlight.

Chocobo_Fan

  • Squaretable Knight (+400)
  • *
  • Posts: 419
  • Is there no salvation in all the world?
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Break (fan fiction work in progress)
« Reply #14 on: October 10, 2008, 05:38:16 pm »
Hm. Not much to say on this chapter. It's a bit short, but it's meant to be, I imagine -- just Crono being reflective.

And yes, that's another thing: How the Masamune (Grandleon in Japanese -- I prefer Masamune, personally) became cursed... I'm sure you've got something good. ;)

Waiting eagerly for the next chapter!