Author Topic: Untold Zeal  (Read 1996 times)

teaflower

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Untold Zeal
« on: November 28, 2007, 05:20:27 pm »
Hi, all! Tea here. I'm working on a project for the Dream Splash and... it's not done yet, but I'll give you a sneak peek. Please, constructive criticism is always welcome, stuff like 'this *beep*in' story *beep*in' sucks, girl! lols' is going to make me use my friend Bob, who is a ninja tiger, to attack you, and... yeah...



Once upon a time, there was a mystical magical kingdom in the sky. It was called Zeal. Now, in the land of Zeal, there was a scary old lady. She was Queen Zeal. Queen Zeal had two children, Schala Zeal and Janus Zeal. Now, Queen Zeal was a VERY greedy lady. She stole Schala’s monies to buy candy! (gasp) So one day, Schala plotted something.

“JANUS!” Schala screamed, in the midst of plotting something out with Zealos (think Legos, but Zeal-tastic) and trying to hang upside down from the ceiling. Janus ran into the room with Alphador, his scary purple cat, on his heels.

“Yes, Schala?” he asked, confused as to why Schala had tied her ankles to the magical fan on the ceiling.

Schala soon realized tying herself to the one spinning thing in the room was a stupid idea.

“… get me down from here, please.” Janus tossed Alphador up to the ceiling and Alphador attacked the rope. Soon, Schala fell onto her conveniently placed bed. “Thank you! Now… for Operation: DOOR… MWAHAHAAAAAAAAA!”

“… I thought you said you’d stop being evil!”

“I’ll stop being evil AS SOON as you stop being so attached to that cat!”

“MY KITTY!” With that, Janus scooped up Alphador and ran away crying. Soon, Schala heard Queen Zeal’s voice.

“SCHAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Quit making Janus cry! HE’S DISTURBINGLY ANNOYING!” Queen Zeal screamed. Schala muttered something about not dropping Janus on his head when he was born when suddenly…

“… my pendant’s humming.” Indeed, Schala’s pendant was softly humming and glowing. “… something terrible is going to happen.” Just then, a blue light appeared out of nowhere right above her bed. Quickly jumping back, Schala looked at the light. The very center was the brightest, yet the darkest blue.



Likey? Hatey? Cheesy?

EDIT: As the Dream Splash! is ending soon, I decided to throw out my thing. I don't even KNOW what it ends on, or where, but I'm already up past my bed time (have to be up at 5 tommorrow) and I STILL have to do my hair! Oh, the troubles of being of the female species...

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« Last Edit: January 03, 2008, 10:31:14 pm by teaflower »

dankun

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Re: Untold Zeal
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2007, 12:56:28 am »
Not bad.
I really liked that remark where Schala is muttering something to herself about not dropping Janus on his head when he was first born.

teaflower

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Re: Untold Zeal
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2007, 08:47:54 pm »
... *faints from holding breath for so long*

THANK YOU. You see, I have WICKED low self-esteem and when no one says anything about anything I do, I don't know if it's too horrid to speak of or it's simply too amazing to speak of. ... this is what happens when you live a horrible demeaning brother and sister...

Anywho, that was just the intro of the story. The story's plot follows Magus from the time he winds up in Zeal to the whole Lavos big explosion thing. Thank you again, dankun, for telling me this is an okay story. I'm gonna go continue writing! ... either that or play more Chrono Trigger... INSPIRATION HAS STRUCK!!!

EDIT: Oh, fun. I'm wonderously stuck! Somehow, I've written myself into a corner and just as I got INTO this corner, the walls totally encased me! (in other words, I can't take anything away or else it won't feel right... *sob*) Oi, this is gonna take longer than I thought... I need more buildup! I need more story! I NEED TO INTRODUCE FORMALLY THE HEROES!!! *sigh* Off to try and write... CURSE YOU, CHRONO RETRANSLATION... you gave me severe writer's block! :cry:
« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 08:37:43 pm by teaflower »

TheMage

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Re: Untold Zeal
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2008, 03:12:49 pm »
I liked it, I hope there is more?

RoxSilverFox

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Re: Untold Zeal
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2008, 03:45:05 am »
Ha this is great you must continue it.