Author Topic: 3rd Rebirth  (Read 2374 times)

Sora

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 362
  • The Terror Of Death
    • View Profile
3rd Rebirth
« on: November 24, 2007, 09:54:17 pm »
A man dressed in black and cyan, with a mask over his face

appears, looking around he asks himself who, and where he is.
as if responding to him a young girl, dressed as a green jester
arrives and tells him hes the one they've been waiting for.
has he becomes angry and points at her and shouts "what the hell

are you talking about" a bolt of light flys fromk his finger and

destroys a huge mountion. he realises he has the power of a god.

as Prime and the jester fight wave after wave of demons
they finally make it to the devil king, and being their assult
it seems hopeless, but than Prime uses all his power, fireing

the Prime Laser he destroys the devil king, but he has no power

to sustain his form, and so he vanishs from life.

Sora, full of rage and fury, has become known as The Terrorfying

Reaper. he, along with Sakari travil to figure out why there has

been an outbreak of demons to the west. along the way they meet

various friends and enemies.

One reviels that Sakari is not what she seems, she is as he put

it "The Prime Trigger"

using Sakari, the enemy gains what he believes to be the power

of Prime, though truely, it is only half.

Sora, confronts his enemy.
Using his hatred, rage, and fury
he summons his old soul, Prime, to do battle
as the fight ensues, both fighters weeken
Sora, looking into his own soul, sees himself,
sees truth...
He uses the ultimate tech, Prime Laser, to try to end the battle
but for every light, there is a shadow, and as Prime Laser

engulfed the enemy, Sora was englufed in the Anti-Prime Laser
And he knew his time was at an end...

there was nothing in the battle field
a barren wasteland, and a dark sky with twinkleing stars
however, a young boy formed there...
With Blonde hair, and bright cyan eyes
he looked into the night sky, and smiled.


Another Rebirth, a life filled with sorrow and strugle
A stoic and melancholy boy is constantly assulted by dispear
With the currage to smile, and the heart to show kindness
He sees a world filled with injustice, and unfairness
inspite of that, he takes a new path
being of Twilight, Chaos, and Suffering
His inner light gives him the power to use his abillites
To change the world, rather than  bring judgement to it
though nice to a fault, he wont hesitate to pick up a sword
to fight for what he believes in.
Wake up, Boy, Your clarity, and curage are needed...
Roxas Across - The Third Rebirth

"but... change wont happen, ...unless you use the curage to make
it happen." - Roxas Across

saridon

  • Mystical Knight (+700)
  • *
  • Posts: 720
  • eater of cows and small fuzzy animals since 1991
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2007, 02:19:47 am »
spellcheck learn to use it

Sora

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 362
  • The Terror Of Death
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2007, 09:42:50 am »
im glad to know thats the only bad thing that can be said about this ^.^

saridon

  • Mystical Knight (+700)
  • *
  • Posts: 720
  • eater of cows and small fuzzy animals since 1991
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2007, 02:10:52 am »
im glad to know thats the only bad thing that can be said about this ^.^
oh there's a crap load of shit wrong with it but if you can't see that then you seriously need to get better at english.
I mean holy shit your misspellings aren't even phonetically similar.
just go to some crappy fanfic site and post it there maybe one of them will be kind enough to explain all your shit or just stroke your ego.

really if you can't check your work before you post it otherwise it just appears even crappier than it already is.

Sora

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 362
  • The Terror Of Death
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2007, 12:38:44 pm »
"oh there's a crap load of shit wrong with it but if you can't see that then you seriously need to get better at english."

yes, but what i mean is, no one has said anything bad about the story. i expected it to suck, but i guess its really good.

Thought

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3426
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2007, 02:17:38 pm »
yes, but what i mean is, no one has said anything bad about the story. i expected it to suck, but i guess its really good.

No, your expectations are closer to the truth than your guesses. It isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever read, not by far; however, it took effort for me to read it all. Effort! For reading! That isn’t a good sign.

I suspect few people have commented on your story-thingy because few people have bothered to read it. There needs to be a base level of interest before people will comment one way or the other. I don’t believe your story-thingy has earned that level of interest, thus no (or few) responses. Again, you'r story isn't the worst thing I've ever read, but let’s just say that nature abhors a vacuum and it isn’t too fond of your story either. Nor are the people here, it would seem.

Anywho. Proper spelling and grammar really are important. It might seem a little shallow, but if it looks like you don't care about your work (by not caring about spelling or grammar), readers wont care about your work.

Additionally, you should know what purple prose is and avoid it ("black and cyan"! That is like having pizza and wine, onion rings and caviar, a dress shirt and daisy dukes, etc).

Also, know what tense/voice you are writing in and be consistent, at least within each sentence (however, the less formal the writing the less strict you need to be). "A man dressed in black... looking around asks himself." If you treated animals the way you treated those verbs, you’d be in jail.

Know how to use a comma. To give you a classic example, there is a world of difference between a Panda that "eats shoots and leaves" and a Panda that "eats, shoots, and leaves." Commas are used in "if/then" statements, they are used in lists (and lists are the only time it is acceptable, though not required, for a comma to precede the word "and"), they can be used for clauses, they usually precede the word "which" (which itself is related to the former point), they can be used to indicate asides (along with parenthesis and em dashes, each indicating a different degree of an aside), etc. Most people can use half the number of commas they normally do. Unless you are sure you need a comma, chances are you don't. Along those lines, it is also good to know and when to use a semi-colon, a colon, and an en dash.

Capitalization is your friend.

Know how to conjugate verbs and pluralize nouns (also, know how to make up your own words when necessary). Along those lines, know cases (such as the nominative, accusative, dative, and genitive). For example, "You and I" is correct if it is the subject of the sentence but it is "you and me" if it is the object (object usually being in the accusative case). All English sentences are constructed, fundamentally, as Subject Verb Object. Also, know the difference between a transitive and an intransitive verb.

Know what a "hook" is and use it. If you don't give the reader a reason to care about what you have written within the first few sentences, they will stop reading. Why should I, as a reader, care who this man (Prime? Unless his first name is Optimus that is a bad name) is? Where did the woman come from and why should we care about anything she has to say? Why is the man angry at the woman for spouting what seems to be nonsense? If he was pointing at the woman, why did the light hit a mountain? Where did the mountain come from? Are they inside, outside, in outer space, sideways, slantwise, wise guys, underground, over ground, grounded? Who, what, when, where, how, and sometimes why and double-u?!

Sora

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 362
  • The Terror Of Death
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2007, 05:04:27 pm »
i know it sucks right now. i was just curious as to what i shoulw work on. its kinda suppost to be misteryous, like the Epitaph of Twilight. and i guess i see what your saying. about the grammer. i'll work on that soon.

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2007, 05:23:54 pm »
Additionally, you should know what purple prose is and avoid it ("black and cyan"! That is like having pizza and wine, onion rings and caviar, a dress shirt and daisy dukes, etc).

Actually, I'm curious exactly what you mean by that. You mean the contrast in how specific an adjective is relative to another one? I don't see too much trouble with black and cyan. To be honest it'd be a bit pedantic to go all technical with colours. If I'd have an analogy to cyan with black, I'd have to use, bah, something like melanic or some such (made up) word derived from Greek like cyan. I don't think black is inherently a lesser word than is cyan. I suppose you could say 'jet and cyan' or something like that, but meh. I actually prefer the juxtaposition of things in that manner, so it might just be a quirk. I also like to temper more formal dialogue with more colloquial contractions and the like, which to me seems to have a similar effect.

Hmmm... are you a student of English or Literature, perhaps? Because you seem to have a rather wide-ranging view on such things. I was meaning to reply to the anime thing in the other thread, by the way. I'd written up a reply that day, and just had a few more things left to add to it, but then forgot about it. I'll post it some time yet, because what you wrote there did make me think quite a bit (which is, as ever, a good thing.)

By the way, to Sora, one thing you might want to try is always writing properly, or as best as you can. This doesn't mean taking a spell check to absolutely every post and IM you write, but at least do your best to use proper punctuation and spelling and all in everything, no matter how minor. Do that and it'll become second nature when you write other things, or at least to a large extent it will. It sometimes instills bad habits (Thought mentioning the 'comma' thing made me think of myself, who is far too prone to use the things.) Remember, sometimes how you say something is as important as what you say, so in that case you want to come across as as much in control as the art of writing as you can be: you are its master, not the other way about. I know some more modern poet types might be in favour of letting things flow out just randomly, but I am in diatmetric opposition to that for the most part. There must be structure and order even amongst inspiration. Indeed, genious often is that control inborn. The rest of us just need to learn it. And the thing is, the rules can be bent and broken, but only after they've been learned in the first place: that way you know what you're breaking and you know what you're doing.

For the whole grammar thing... hmmm... learn some Latin, maybe. That has a way of teaching English grammar, I've found. I didn't exactly undersand a lot of things about the way we construct sentences until I was forced to deal with a declined language. Though it did instill a few oddities, I think... I am tending to use far more participles than are common in English, and sometimes their use is... decidedly Greek or Latin, rather than English. But meh. I try. And I think that's what you really have to do. Try at all times to be as perfect as you can in writing, no matter where or for what. You won't be able to achieve perfection - we all make mistakes - but the attempt will hone your abilities.
« Last Edit: November 26, 2007, 05:27:37 pm by Daniel Krispin »

Thought

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3426
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2007, 06:37:52 pm »
Daniel, to be fair, "black and cyan" isn't purple prose; I was overly hasty and harsh in that comment. I am terribly sorry. However, it does seem to be a little too close for comfort. The specific word choice calls attention to itself. If this were a postmodern piece, that would fit perfectly. It's not (at least, I don't think it is), so the writing style itself should generally not call attention to itself and when it does call attention, there needs to be a reason. "Cyan" is a somewhat fancy word that seems out of place with every other descriptor in the piece (of which there aren't many, so an odd word choice stands out all the more).

And no, I am not a student of English or Literature (history is my field, actually). But (and it is terrible to use "but" to start a sentence), as my name might imply, I do like to think about things; perhaps I like to think a bit too much.

I do agree, learning a foreign language is wonderful for learning how your native language works. Actually, that is where I learned most of my grammar (cases, tense/voice, etc). It doesn't need to be Latin, however. Indeed, you might be better offer with Greek or German. Greek has 3 general classes of nouns if I am remembering correctly (male, female, and neuter). Latin has 9 (again, if I am remembering correctly). German would be a good choice too (generally it is easier to find materials for German than for Greek).

As a side note, reading is also a wonderful way of learning how to write. Though again, one can pick up curious quirks from that, just as studying foreign languages can incorporate non-standard English concepts into your writing (I picked up my excessive use of parenthesis from C.S. Lewis, for example, though he didn’t use them nearly as excessively as I do).

Sora, again it isn't that your work "sucks," it is that the writing is getting in the way of your story. If you can improve that, then we can better look at the story. But don't worry, you can improve; no one starts out writing perfectly (except for Shakespeare, obviously he wrote high poetic prose from the cradle). Heck, I am sure in just a year’s time I will look back on what I've written here and think "Good lord, did I really mangle words and sentence structure like that? And the verbosity, my gawd the verbosity!" ... or something to that effect. Everyone can improve, it only "sucks" if you choose not to.

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2007, 04:25:18 am »
Daniel, to be fair, "black and cyan" isn't purple prose; I was overly hasty and harsh in that comment. I am terribly sorry. However, it does seem to be a little too close for comfort. The specific word choice calls attention to itself. If this were a postmodern piece, that would fit perfectly. It's not (at least, I don't think it is), so the writing style itself should generally not call attention to itself and when it does call attention, there needs to be a reason. "Cyan" is a somewhat fancy word that seems out of place with every other descriptor in the piece (of which there aren't many, so an odd word choice stands out all the more).

Actually, I wasn't sure what the term 'purple prose' implied. I see what you mean, though.

And no, I am not a student of English or Literature (history is my field, actually). But (and it is terrible to use "but" to start a sentence), as my name might imply, I do like to think about things; perhaps I like to think a bit too much.

A historian (a, an? I never recall which is right), awesome! Figured it had to be something like that. I'm more of a literature student, but being a Classicist a lot of my study tends to cross between history and literature, and I think it's fair to say that I have a more or less equal interest in both. Neat stuff, all of it. My focus is generally ancient, but I don't think there's a bit of history that is inherently uninteresting.

I have heard, actually, that the aversion to using 'but' to start a beginning is in fact merely grammarian elitism, and it is perfectly admissible in English. Supposedly the reason they considered 'but' to be wrong in starting a sentence is because it is wrong to do so with certain Latin words, namely the postpositives. In English, however, I think it is entirely admissible.

I do agree, learning a foreign language is wonderful for learning how your native language works. Actually, that is where I learned most of my grammar (cases, tense/voice, etc). It doesn't need to be Latin, however. Indeed, you might be better offer with Greek or German. Greek has 3 general classes of nouns if I am remembering correctly (male, female, and neuter). Latin has 9 (again, if I am remembering correctly). German would be a good choice too (generally it is easier to find materials for German than for Greek).

Ah, yes. Which languages did you learn? Actually, I was originally brought up speaking German and, though I've forgotten the most (and as such cannot speak it all too well anymore), enough remains to be able to understand and read it. And, funny that you mention Greek like that... I actually just mentioned Latin because it's more familiar to most, but my first foray into learning another language (which I'm still learning, years later) did happen to be ancient Greek (which most learn after Latin, but I did in the reverse... made Latin decidedly easier.) Yeah, Greek does have a lot of noun distinctions, though not as many as Latin. Greek has the three genders, and basically speaking three declension orders, along with three numbers (ie. singular, plural, and dual... a rare archaic thing, but does come up now and again) and five cases (the nominative, genitive, dative, accusative, and vocative.) Latin is for all purposes identical (just some quirks in the 'third' order, and differences in the rest, but close enough that they are plainly related), but with the singular addition of the ablative case (which blankets the old Indo European cases such as locative and instrumental; in Greek the dative takes over what the Latin ablative does.) What really makes things tough in Greek, though, is the verbs. Generally they are way more irregular than are the Latin ones. One that always bugged me was the verb for seeing. The present (first-person singular indicitive active) is horao; future opsomai; aorist (past) eidon. Weird. I mean, there is logic in that each part has come from a different origin (the aorist being from the same 'id' root as the Latin verb video), but it's still a bit messy. In that Latin's nicer.

By the way, speaking of Greek and how it connects with history, ever read Herodotus? Because that's actually what I'm having to read these days in Greek class. Personally I think he's really good (that is, from having read an English translation in the past... we've only managed thirty some paragraphs this semester in Greek). Though a bit of a teller of tall tales, heh.

As a side note, reading is also a wonderful way of learning how to write. Though again, one can pick up curious quirks from that, just as studying foreign languages can incorporate non-standard English concepts into your writing (I picked up my excessive use of parenthesis from C.S. Lewis, for example, though he didn’t use them nearly as excessively as I do).

So very true! Actually, though some of those things I have attributed to learning my grammar via other languages, some others are more traceable to English writing, or rather English translations of Classical works I should say. I would say I owe the majority of my writing style to having read such translators as Richmond Lattimore (who has a brilliant Iliad), and his fellow university of Chicago translators. I simply love their 50s English style, and it's affected me quite a bit. In the years before that I think it was Tolkien, a comrade of Lewis, who shaped the way I wrote.

Thought

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3426
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2007, 12:42:10 pm »
First, sorry Sora for hijacking your thread (I am fairly sure that as soon as we said the word "declension" you stopped reading).

Actually, I wasn't sure what the term 'purple prose' implied. I see what you mean, though.

AH, well then. Purple Prose is actually a phrase coined back in Roman times and it referred to individuals who would sew patches of purple fabric (purple being an expensive and noble color) onto their clothing in order to appear grander than they were (sort of like people today who put sunroof decals on their cars, or wear rolmex watches). It was used as an analogy used to describe writers who insert overly fancy words and excessive such things in order to appear more skilled than they were. It isn't that fancy words and eloquent phrasing is bad, it is when they are seemingly used as patches on otherwise mundane work that the term then applies.

Quote
A historian (a, an? I never recall which is right)

When in doubt, go with "a." Sometimes "an" is proper but most people don't know that and even fewer will notice. Generally, if the "h" is noticeable, use an "a." If it isn't very noticeable, use an "an." (for anyone else reading and not understanding, most words that start with an H and come from the Greek can be preceded by either an "a" or an "an" because H wasn't a real letter in Greek but it is in English, thus resulting in a conflict of proper grammatical rules).

Quote
My focus is generally ancient, but I don't think there's a bit of history that is inherently uninteresting.

I tend to agree. But then again, I am fascinated by the history of calendars (and the dating methods implied there in) and I wrote a 30 page research paper on the margin variations in the Guttenberg Bible (it is also known as the 42-Line Bible... except about 14ish vellum copies have a handful of pages that are only 40 lines. I wrote the paper on why there was that change). So perhaps I am not the best judge of such things.

Quote
I have heard, actually, that the aversion to using 'but' to start a beginning is in fact merely grammarian elitism, and it is perfectly admissible in English. Supposedly the reason they considered 'but' to be wrong in starting a sentence is because it is wrong to do so with certain Latin words, namely the postpositives. In English, however, I think it is entirely admissible.

True. But then again, the only reason "island" has an "s" in it is because of grammarian elitism. Some nut thought the original "iland" was a Latin word, which would have necessitated an "s." So in an attempt to make "iland" more correct, they added an "s," making it less correct. But alas, it has entered the language. If enough people believe something is true in a language, it is true (even if it is really wrong). Enough people believe you shouldn't start a sentence with "but" so that generally one shouldn't. However, rules can be broken (not that I would ever do such a thing... no, not me). Also, ye was never a word, no matter how many people believe it was. That shouldn’t be a y but a thorn (a letter no longer in English that looks like a y but had a voiced th sound). Just an aside.

Quote
Ah, yes. Which languages did you learn?

Depends on how you want to define "learn." Technically, I learned English (native language), Spanish, German, ancient Greek, and ancient Anglo-Saxon (woot for reading Beowulf in the original language!), with a self-taught smattering of Latin (which I generally don't count). I only remember a few random words of Spanish and never was at a conversational level with the other three (and my knowledge has declined from lack of use).

Speaking of which, I don't remember Greek having a dual-person. Anglo-Saxon does, however (thus singular first person, dual person, second person, and third person would translate as I, me and you, you, he/she/it). How does it go in Greek again? Latin may be more familiar with people, but it is also a language that makes English look simple. Greek on the other hand is fun (I like the fact that about 90% of a sentence could be gapped and still make sense), a fair bit easier, yet still contains a good selection of grammatical rules such as cases, declensions, conjugations, tenses, voices (including the MIDDLE voice! Passive, middle, active? Those crazy, bronze-kneed Greeks).

Quote
What really makes things tough in Greek, though, is the verbs. Generally they are way more irregular than are the Latin ones. One that always bugged me was the verb for seeing. The present (first-person singular indicitive active) is horao; future opsomai; aorist (past) eidon. Weird.

I can't remember verb declensions all that well, but every language has oddities like that (in Anglo-Saxon "heo" can mean "he," "she," "it," "they," "the," "a," and a few other things that I can't remember). In English, eat/ate, ran/run, take/took. If I had a German verb dictionary around I could easily pull out a few from that as well. Not all Greek verbs are as bad as that one, though (luckily).

Quote
By the way, speaking of Greek and how it connects with history, ever read Herodotus?

I doubt think I could call myself a historian and NOT have read Herodotus  :wink:. Father of history and all that. It is a fun book (what other history books contain giant ants that dig up gold?), though frustrating at times (he claims that the Egyptian god Khnum is Zeus!). I've studied ancient religions as well and unfortunately the majority of records about them are from the Greeks and later the Romans (who continued the Greek tradition of making me foam at the mouth when they talk about foreign religions).

But if you like him, then I would recommend following it up with Thucydides (the OTHER father of History). He picks up almost where Herodotus left off (it was traditional for quite some time to do that. Tacitus and Ammianus Marcelinus were in that tradition as well, along with a few others I think, bringing a "world history" from the Persian War up until around 300 C.E.). He was a bit more... careful in what stories he decided to include (still not up to modern standards, not in the least).

Quote
I would say I owe the majority of my writing style to having read such translators as Richmond Lattimore (who has a brilliant Iliad), and his fellow university of Chicago translators. I simply love their 50s English style, and it's affected me quite a bit. In the years before that I think it was Tolkien, a comrade of Lewis, who shaped the way I wrote.

Can't say I am familiar with Lattimore (might have read his work and just not remember... despite the fact that I studied history I have a horrible memory for names) -- I prefer the Stanley Lambardo translation usually, as it tried to preserve the vernacular feel that the Greeks would have had listening to it (but it almost essentially tosses the poetics of it aside) -- but Tolkien is a fine source to influence your writing (but I would probably say that of most of the Inklings). He is the reason that I am interesting in constructed languages (yeah, did I mention that my interests are incredibly varied?). Orson Scott Card also has influenced mine (and through him, Frank Herbert). Then there is a whole slew of History writers: from Michael Grant to Jordanes, from Tacitus to Tony Horwitz. I suppose I could even say that Thomas Pynchon influenced my writing (in that I shudder to think that I am writing in the same language as he did, let alone that any part of my writing might be similar; a postmodernist I'm not).

Of course... as writing is a reflection of one's thinking, those authors then have also influenced that.

Um... so... to get back to the topic of the thread... reading is good.
>.>
<.<

Just a long-winded,

Thought

Sora

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 362
  • The Terror Of Death
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2007, 01:28:07 pm »
First, sorry Sora for hijacking your thread (I am fairly sure that as soon as we said the word "declension" you stopped reading).

Actually, I wasn't sure what the term 'purple prose' implied. I see what you mean, though.

AH, well then. Purple Prose is actually a phrase coined back in Roman times and it referred to individuals who would sew patches of purple fabric (purple being an expensive and noble color) onto their clothing in order to appear grander than they were (sort of like people today who put sunroof decals on their cars, or wear rolmex watches). It was used as an analogy used to describe writers who insert overly fancy words and excessive such things in order to appear more skilled than they were. It isn't that fancy words and eloquent phrasing is bad, it is when they are seemingly used as patches on otherwise mundane work that the term then applies.

Quote
A historian (a, an? I never recall which is right)

When in doubt, go with "a." Sometimes "an" is proper but most people don't know that and even fewer will notice. Generally, if the "h" is noticeable, use an "a." If it isn't very noticeable, use an "an." (for anyone else reading and not understanding, most words that start with an H and come from the Greek can be preceded by either an "a" or an "an" because H wasn't a real letter in Greek but it is in English, thus resulting in a conflict of proper grammatical rules).

Quote
My focus is generally ancient, but I don't think there's a bit of history that is inherently uninteresting.

I tend to agree. But then again, I am fascinated by the history of calendars (and the dating methods implied there in) and I wrote a 30 page research paper on the margin variations in the Guttenberg Bible (it is also known as the 42-Line Bible... except about 14ish vellum copies have a handful of pages that are only 40 lines. I wrote the paper on why there was that change). So perhaps I am not the best judge of such things.

Quote
I have heard, actually, that the aversion to using 'but' to start a beginning is in fact merely grammarian elitism, and it is perfectly admissible in English. Supposedly the reason they considered 'but' to be wrong in starting a sentence is because it is wrong to do so with certain Latin words, namely the postpositives. In English, however, I think it is entirely admissible.

True. But then again, the only reason "island" has an "s" in it is because of grammarian elitism. Some nut thought the original "iland" was a Latin word, which would have necessitated an "s." So in an attempt to make "iland" more correct, they added an "s," making it less correct. But alas, it has entered the language. If enough people believe something is true in a language, it is true (even if it is really wrong). Enough people believe you shouldn't start a sentence with "but" so that generally one shouldn't. However, rules can be broken (not that I would ever do such a thing... no, not me). Also, ye was never a word, no matter how many people believe it was. That shouldn’t be a y but a thorn (a letter no longer in English that looks like a y but had a voiced th sound). Just an aside.

Quote
Ah, yes. Which languages did you learn?

Depends on how you want to define "learn." Technically, I learned English (native language), Spanish, German, ancient Greek, and ancient Anglo-Saxon (woot for reading Beowulf in the original language!), with a self-taught smattering of Latin (which I generally don't count). I only remember a few random words of Spanish and never was at a conversational level with the other three (and my knowledge has declined from lack of use).

Speaking of which, I don't remember Greek having a dual-person. Anglo-Saxon does, however (thus singular first person, dual person, second person, and third person would translate as I, me and you, you, he/she/it). How does it go in Greek again? Latin may be more familiar with people, but it is also a language that makes English look simple. Greek on the other hand is fun (I like the fact that about 90% of a sentence could be gapped and still make sense), a fair bit easier, yet still contains a good selection of grammatical rules such as cases, declensions, conjugations, tenses, voices (including the MIDDLE voice! Passive, middle, active? Those crazy, bronze-kneed Greeks).

Quote
What really makes things tough in Greek, though, is the verbs. Generally they are way more irregular than are the Latin ones. One that always bugged me was the verb for seeing. The present (first-person singular indicitive active) is horao; future opsomai; aorist (past) eidon. Weird.

I can't remember verb declensions all that well, but every language has oddities like that (in Anglo-Saxon "heo" can mean "he," "she," "it," "they," "the," "a," and a few other things that I can't remember). In English, eat/ate, ran/run, take/took. If I had a German verb dictionary around I could easily pull out a few from that as well. Not all Greek verbs are as bad as that one, though (luckily).

Quote
By the way, speaking of Greek and how it connects with history, ever read Herodotus?

I doubt think I could call myself a historian and NOT have read Herodotus  :wink:. Father of history and all that. It is a fun book (what other history books contain giant ants that dig up gold?), though frustrating at times (he claims that the Egyptian god Khnum is Zeus!). I've studied ancient religions as well and unfortunately the majority of records about them are from the Greeks and later the Romans (who continued the Greek tradition of making me foam at the mouth when they talk about foreign religions).

But if you like him, then I would recommend following it up with Thucydides (the OTHER father of History). He picks up almost where Herodotus left off (it was traditional for quite some time to do that. Tacitus and Ammianus Marcelinus were in that tradition as well, along with a few others I think, bringing a "world history" from the Persian War up until around 300 C.E.). He was a bit more... careful in what stories he decided to include (still not up to modern standards, not in the least).

Quote
I would say I owe the majority of my writing style to having read such translators as Richmond Lattimore (who has a brilliant Iliad), and his fellow university of Chicago translators. I simply love their 50s English style, and it's affected me quite a bit. In the years before that I think it was Tolkien, a comrade of Lewis, who shaped the way I wrote.

Can't say I am familiar with Lattimore (might have read his work and just not remember... despite the fact that I studied history I have a horrible memory for names) -- I prefer the Stanley Lambardo translation usually, as it tried to preserve the vernacular feel that the Greeks would have had listening to it (but it almost essentially tosses the poetics of it aside) -- but Tolkien is a fine source to influence your writing (but I would probably say that of most of the Inklings). He is the reason that I am interesting in constructed languages (yeah, did I mention that my interests are incredibly varied?). Orson Scott Card also has influenced mine (and through him, Frank Herbert). Then there is a whole slew of History writers: from Michael Grant to Jordanes, from Tacitus to Tony Horwitz. I suppose I could even say that Thomas Pynchon influenced my writing (in that I shudder to think that I am writing in the same language as he did, let alone that any part of my writing might be similar; a postmodernist I'm not).

Of course... as writing is a reflection of one's thinking, those authors then have also influenced that.

Um... so... to get back to the topic of the thread... reading is good.
>.>
<.<

Just a long-winded,

Thought
No problem, but man... thats got to be the LONGEST post on this forum, lol.

Thought

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3426
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2007, 03:09:37 pm »
I dunno, I think my posts over in the Guardia Royal Line Paradox might be longer.

Brevity is not my forte (if you hadn't noticed).

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2007, 03:56:05 pm »
First, sorry Sora for hijacking your thread (I am fairly sure that as soon as we said the word "declension" you stopped reading).

Heh, yeah. Thread hijacking is common... it's happened to mine lots before. It's meaning that the thread has become more like a conversation. Hopefully it's helping him a bit with suggestions, though.

AH, well then. Purple Prose is actually a phrase coined back in Roman times and it referred to individuals who would sew patches of purple fabric (purple being an expensive and noble color) onto their clothing in order to appear grander than they were (sort of like people today who put sunroof decals on their cars, or wear rolmex watches). It was used as an analogy used to describe writers who insert overly fancy words and excessive such things in order to appear more skilled than they were. It isn't that fancy words and eloquent phrasing is bad, it is when they are seemingly used as patches on otherwise mundane work that the term then applies.

Ah, yes. Now I know what you mean. Understandably criminal.

When in doubt, go with "a." Sometimes "an" is proper but most people don't know that and even fewer will notice. Generally, if the "h" is noticeable, use an "a." If it isn't very noticeable, use an "an." (for anyone else reading and not understanding, most words that start with an H and come from the Greek can be preceded by either an "a" or an "an" because H wasn't a real letter in Greek but it is in English, thus resulting in a conflict of proper grammatical rules).

Gotchya, thanks.

I tend to agree. But then again, I am fascinated by the history of calendars (and the dating methods implied there in) and I wrote a 30 page research paper on the margin variations in the Guttenberg Bible (it is also known as the 42-Line Bible... except about 14ish vellum copies have a handful of pages that are only 40 lines. I wrote the paper on why there was that change). So perhaps I am not the best judge of such things.

Heh, cool. What was the thesis statement?

True. But then again, the only reason "island" has an "s" in it is because of grammarian elitism. Some nut thought the original "iland" was a Latin word, which would have necessitated an "s." So in an attempt to make "iland" more correct, they added an "s," making it less correct. But alas, it has entered the language. If enough people believe something is true in a language, it is true (even if it is really wrong). Enough people believe you shouldn't start a sentence with "but" so that generally one shouldn't. However, rules can be broken (not that I would ever do such a thing... no, not me). Also, ye was never a word, no matter how many people believe it was. That shouldn’t be a y but a thorn (a letter no longer in English that looks like a y but had a voiced th sound). Just an aside.

Yeah, that's something that always bugs me. 'Ye olde shoppe'. Always funny that people doin't realise you say that like, well, 'the'. But yeah, there are those strange grammar things that pop up now and again. Meh, I guess it's just how language develops.

Depends on how you want to define "learn." Technically, I learned English (native language), Spanish, German, ancient Greek, and ancient Anglo-Saxon (woot for reading Beowulf in the original language!), with a self-taught smattering of Latin (which I generally don't count). I only remember a few random words of Spanish and never was at a conversational level with the other three (and my knowledge has declined from lack of use).

Hey, that's pretty good. Anglo-Saxon would be neat, I'm sure! Though you probably don't know Latin too badly. If youknow Greek and Anglo-Saxon, you already have a pretty good idea of Latin grammar, so all that remains is the technical forms. Oh, and I quite understand you not being at a conversational level. I don't think anyone is conversational in Ancient Greek.

Speaking of which, I don't remember Greek having a dual-person. Anglo-Saxon does, however (thus singular first person, dual person, second person, and third person would translate as I, me and you, you, he/she/it). How does it go in Greek again? Latin may be more familiar with people, but it is also a language that makes English look simple. Greek on the other hand is fun (I like the fact that about 90% of a sentence could be gapped and still make sense), a fair bit easier, yet still contains a good selection of grammatical rules such as cases, declensions, conjugations, tenses, voices (including the MIDDLE voice! Passive, middle, active? Those crazy, bronze-kneed Greeks).

Yep, it has dual, but very rarely. Very archaic, even Homer didn't use it much. It comes up in the Iliadic proem in the (which in the Lattimore translation is) 'stood in division' (diasteten erisante)... both those words are dual. I've noticed it once or twice in Lysias, and a tiny bit in Xenophon (I tried translating the first few lines once, and noticed the 'sons' word, in this case the general word child, 'pais', was a dual to imply 'his two sons.') But not enough to make me memorise the forms. Generally it's recognizable anyway.

You find Greek easier? Hm. Most people say it the other way around. I find Latin extremely easier because after Greek, well, it's not that tough. But yeah, Greek does have it's fun points. I do like the middle voice, I must say. Greek has it's aorist, too, which is really quite entertaining (I love it when it's used for aspect rather than tense!) And the weird thing about the aorist augment is, the only other Indo European lanuage that does that is Sanskrit! Actually, I love seeing the old IE connections. Like the word for 'bright', by extention 'god', which gives Devi (or Deva, something like that) in Sanskrit, Dios in Greek (and also Zeus!), Deus in Latin (also Jupiter, via it's origin as Deus-piter, or 'bright father'), and so on. Or one of my favourites, the word for 'man' or 'hero' in Latin, 'vir.' I can't recall exactly, but there's a Sanskrit cognate. I can't be definite, but I think the Greek cognate might just be 'heros'... generally a Greek initial aspiration is when in an old IE word the initial s was dropped in favour of an h (why do that Greeks do this? I don't know), like the Latin sequorem having a Greek cognate in hepomai, so I'm sketchy. But if there's a precedent that an inital digamma in Greek has ever turned into an aspiration, then this might be the case. Because the Latin v (like our w) is equivalent to the old Greek digamma, so if in origin heros was 'veros'... well, that's really similar to the 'vir' root. Not to mention it has the same meaning in both (not our hero, of course, but more of an aristocratic male of the warrior class... originally.) And in English this word is 'were', like in werewolf. Or in the word 'world', which is old Germanic 'were-ald' contracted, sort of 'age of man' or something. Heh. As you can tell, I quite enjoy etymological studies.

I can't remember verb declensions all that well, but every language has oddities like that (in Anglo-Saxon "heo" can mean "he," "she," "it," "they," "the," "a," and a few other things that I can't remember). In English, eat/ate, ran/run, take/took. If I had a German verb dictionary around I could easily pull out a few from that as well. Not all Greek verbs are as bad as that one, though (luckily).

Well, some of those are just mere ablaudt root changes, I think (like the sto/sta/ste changes in the root for our stand, the German stehe, Greek histemi, Latin sto.) But yeah, we do have that a bit as well; German... can't think of any at the moment. But it's just that Greek tends to be inordinately bad.

I doubt think I could call myself a historian and NOT have read Herodotus  :wink:. Father of history and all that. It is a fun book (what other history books contain giant ants that dig up gold?), though frustrating at times (he claims that the Egyptian god Khnum is Zeus!). I've studied ancient religions as well and unfortunately the majority of records about them are from the Greeks and later the Romans (who continued the Greek tradition of making me foam at the mouth when they talk about foreign religions).

Ah, yes, loved the ants, I must say. Though in defence of the Greek religious views, I find it quite interesting that they hold their gods' names to have come originally from Egypt and elsewhere. In fact, they seem very conscious of how other cultures have influenced them, which is quite interesting. I don't find them nearly so xenophobic as some people claim.

But if you like him, then I would recommend following it up with Thucydides (the OTHER father of History). He picks up almost where Herodotus left off (it was traditional for quite some time to do that. Tacitus and Ammianus Marcelinus were in that tradition as well, along with a few others I think, bringing a "world history" from the Persian War up until around 300 C.E.). He was a bit more... careful in what stories he decided to include (still not up to modern standards, not in the least).

Yeah, well, he's a bit tougher to get into, which is why I've not yet read too much of him. Actually, the other problem is that the translation I have is one done by Thomas Hobbes, so the prose is a little old and tough (even for me, and I'm more used to formal styles in prose.) From what I know of him, though, he seems a bit more unreliable than Herodotus, in that he tells only the story he believes to be right, and we have no way of knowing if it is or isn't. He brings accross an air of accuracy, but to a large extent that's only an illusion, I believe. Nevertheless, one of these days I'll read him.

Anyway, gotta get to Herodotus here in a moment. I'm having to write a paper about retribution in Herodotus, and I have a tendency to do these things last minute.

Can't say I am familiar with Lattimore (might have read his work and just not remember... despite the fact that I studied history I have a horrible memory for names) -- I prefer the Stanley Lambardo translation usually, as it tried to preserve the vernacular feel that the Greeks would have had listening to it (but it almost essentially tosses the poetics of it aside) -- but Tolkien is a fine source to influence your writing (but I would probably say that of most of the Inklings). He is the reason that I am interesting in constructed languages (yeah, did I mention that my interests are incredibly varied?). Orson Scott Card also has influenced mine (and through him, Frank Herbert). Then there is a whole slew of History writers: from Michael Grant to Jordanes, from Tacitus to Tony Horwitz. I suppose I could even say that Thomas Pynchon influenced my writing (in that I shudder to think that I am writing in the same language as he did, let alone that any part of my writing might be similar; a postmodernist I'm not).

Lambardo... hmmm... well, my opinion on the matter is that it shouldn't feel too vernacular. It shouldn't sound like the older English of the past century, of course, but to our ears, some thing warrant a bit more stately a feel, epic being one of them. Aristotle calls the hexameter the stateliest prose, after all. And even though tragedy is a bit more 'natural', it's dialogue by it's nature of poetry is a little more formal. Comedy, on the other hand, is entirely vernacular. That's why I like Lattimore and his fellow translators for anything epic or tragic. He is a poet, you see, and writes his Iliad in modern semi-verse. Not only is he almost dead on with literal accuracy, he manages to retain the stately feel of epic without descending into sounding old and stilted.

I've never read Lombardo, so I'm not sure... I'll just go take a look and see what I think. Hmm... definitely better than Fagles, I can say that much. Still a touch too vernacular in my opinion, and more than a little inaccurate. Not sure where the word 'black' comes from in the first line; the adjective 'strong' (Gk. iphthimous) is missing from 'heroes'. It does more or less retain the feel, but I think Lattimore's 'Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilleus, and its devastation / which put pains thousandfold upon the Achaians / hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls of Hades / but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting of dogs and all birds / but the will of Zeus was accomplished / since that time when first there stood in division of conflict / Atreus' son the lord of men and brilliant Achilleus.' I don't think he leaves out a single word or allows himself any of his own invention. He's a remarkably disciplined translator and a good poet to boot.

Brevity is not my forte (if you hadn't noticed).

Ah, yes. Likewise. And Sora, no, there have been many, far longer posts. Look at one from a while back where I and Lord J argued religion, or things like that. I've written posts around four thousand words long... this is nothing near.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2007, 04:01:18 pm by Daniel Krispin »

Sora

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 362
  • The Terror Of Death
    • View Profile
Re: 3rd Rebirth
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2007, 04:20:11 pm »
i didn't read that last post 100%, anyway. why i say Cyan is cause the character IS cyan. its my = favorite color. and its the exact shade its meant to describe, just as black is. if he was 0000FF i would have said blue, or if he was cobalt, i would have said that. i said black cause hes 000000 - or black. if he was dark gray i would have said that, or deep gray.