Author Topic: Story 3: The Arbiter  (Read 4465 times)

Farkas

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Story 3: The Arbiter
« on: November 03, 2007, 09:36:39 pm »
Now presenting the 3rd short story.  This will probably be my last entry for the Dream Splash, thought I'd intended to do more.  My ship goes on their pacific cruise monday and I'll be kept busy for awhile with life at sea in general.

Anyway, a bit about the story (not spoilers or anything).  In it I used an odd date system that i'd stolen from the Aztec calender.  I put translations of the dates when I use them but I wanted to add a little something different to the way they marked the passing of time.  Anyway, hope you enjoy the tale and let me know what you think!

(Again the file is up for download only so just click the link thingy at the bottom of the page to view.)

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FaustWolf

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Re: Story 3: The Arbiter
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2007, 05:29:51 pm »
Bravo, Farkas!

I really, really, really liked the description of the librarian lady's hair, believe it or not. I obsess over things like that in my own writing, and you did an exceptional job. It's amazing how such a small detail can matter, but that little bit really stood out for me.

Anyway, keep up the good work, as I see much talent in your writing. Just remember -- grammar, grammar, grammar!

Farkas

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Re: Story 3: The Arbiter
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2007, 06:15:01 am »
Ahh a comment!  Was starting to think the Dream Splash Thread had died.  In port Guam at the moment and had a chance to check up on things.

Glad you like it FaustWolf, even if you do obsess about the current hairstyles of librarians lol.  J/K,  I also agree that it is the little things that make the big picture, you don't want nondescript character number 3 taking to slightly-detailed main character.  Even the small bit characters have a story behind, and I try to convey that with my descriptions of them.  Ahh but I have babbled long enough, and I've many webpages to catch up on before liberty expires.  Thanks for the feedback and expect a 4th story if time permits me to write it.