Author Topic: Works in Progress  (Read 54910 times)

ZeaLitY

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« on: November 01, 2004, 01:36:28 pm »
Unless the Writing Critique thread is expanded, we can use this to post rough drafts or merely present scenes piecemeal for commentary. I'm at school right now, and need a place to post some writing.

~

This scene happens after the jailbreak, and precedes the meet at the EoT.

The End of Time

Its observers and visitors long knew that the hourglass from which each aeon granule could be viewed contained a pedestal on one side, having a special purpose; often emanating the most jovial spirits, it was the chamber of time's second god -- who accompanied the Watcher -- and served as a repository for combative knowledge and training, a sort of preparations should a visitor ever decide to return to the shifting sands of epochs. As the main architecture selected by the Guru from Zeal, it was shrouded in a magnificent sea of mist, barely gray and white, set against the eternal, infinite spans of what lay beyond the center of the End of Time. It too had an ebb and flow of its own, sometimes gently reaching out or fading away, and it had been imbued with restorative healing properties -- for a quick intake would replenish one's strength after a bout of sparring; and though no fighting had recently occurred -- rare considering the number of occupants within the room at present -- a young man regardless leaned forward, his hands resting on the golden guardrail, and allowed the vaporous, foggy mists to be drawn in by his breath. It cooled him, permeating every aspect of his being, with a gentle, caressing touch; intrigued, but still skeptical, he produced a small, glass jar from within his pockets, of Arnian weaving, and attempted to bottle the sweet gases. This action was met with a discerning glance and grin from the keeper of the grounds; the young man subsequently returned the jar to his shorts, crossed his arms, and returned to a state of bewilderment.

Somewhat gruff looking, he nonetheless exuded a sense of complacency, potential power, and self-knowledge; his hair had long been unkept, free to surf the whimsical wind of El Nido as the birds did, while his threads were distinctly recognizable as hailing from the archipelago's smaller villages, the cradle for the salvation of the world some time earlier; the young man, like the vitality of that settlement, wore a black sailor's shirt and a seaworn, gray vest, complemented by blue shorts stitched with the white design of the waves. Rough hairs had markedly appeared on his chin, though attempts at shaving were evident; the skin on which they rested had been tanned by the summer sun, the dark hue almost baked completely into his frame. His eyes were gloom-ridden and sad, though none would see -- for he always maintained a level of alertness, even while emotionally perturbed, choosing to have major outbursts rather than prolonged suffering. His senses proved sharp, as his head turned at the voice--

"Hey, buddy. Sorry, but the magic can't reach  you when you go back, heh. I'm not that powerful," the keeper -- having the form of a Nu -- spoke.
"Yeah. Uhh, how long--" the man began.
"Just give it some time. I'm glad you aren't jumpy like most people."
"Whatever; I'm pretty tired."
"Oh! Reminds me. How do I look to you?"
"Eh?"
"Do I look strong? Weak?"
"What? You look...really weird, man. I don't know."
"Heh. Speak for yourself."

Symmetry

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« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2004, 01:47:58 pm »
Quote from: ZeaLitY
It too had an ebb and flow of its own, sometimes gently reaching out or fading away, though it had been imbued with restorative healing properties -- for a quick intake would replenish one's strength after a bout of sparring; and though none had occurred, rare considering the number of occupants within the room, a young man regardless leaned forward, his hands resting on the golden guardrail, and allowed the vaporous, foggy mists to be drawn in by his breath.


Maybe its just me, but I find this sentence particularly hard to follow.

Actually, I found the first sentence a little hard to follow as well. I can't quite figure out what you mean by "often emanating the most jovial spirits" or why its used.

I am a little sleep-deprived at the moment and exausted from some mental abuse in this morning's classes, so that might be part of the problem. I'll read this again later.

ZeaLitY

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« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2004, 01:49:46 pm »
I edited it somewhat to make the thoughts and purpose clearer.

Leebot

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« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2004, 06:02:26 pm »
I'd just recommend to not let your sentences get too long. Longer sentences are by nature harder to follow. In cases like the one Symmetry pointed out, consider splitting it into two sentences. BTW, the semicolon in that sentence should be a comma, or you should get rid of "and" (this is if you don't just split it into two sentences there).

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« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2004, 06:42:36 pm »
Hmm, how about we use the Writing Critique thread for specific grammatical and typographical issues, and this one for more general questions/suggestions (such as characterization of another author's characters)?

Symmetry

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« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2004, 10:02:19 pm »
Make it so.

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« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2004, 10:10:25 pm »
[Alright, VT, here's what I have so far for my next post. Let me know of any changes you'd like to the way Hunter and Amy are described and/or voiced. Note that I've left out their experience with the FF; you can fill that in when they get to TEoT.]

Scene X – The Seeker

The Isle of Eden, El Nido Archipelago
1021 A.D.


The cave reeked of an unnatural smell. Smells of blood, excrements, and other natural, organic functions were tinged with something Backer couldn’t readily identify, but which felt similar to the energy source he had been tracking. He wouldn’t let the smell bother him, however; for him, it was a trivial matter to mentally block an unpleasant sensation.

Ahead, the cave narrowed somewhat. On the wall to his right was what appeared to be runic writing inscribed on the wall. He identified it as a Draconian message, imbued with their standard, frustrating charm. This charm prevented the reader from seeing any more than a couple of letters at a time. The letters were the same wherever one looked, but changed with time as the message went through its cycle. It forced the reader to take their time and wait—patience was a great virtue among the Draconians.

Backer wasn’t fully versed in Draconian, but he knew enough to translate a few of the words that appeared: “…Danger…Artifact…Power…Deceit.”

/Most probable interpretations:

1) A dangerous artifact lies beyond. It will deceive those who lack the power to overcome it.

2) A dangerous artifact lies beyond. It promises power, but this is a deception.

3) To those in danger: This artifact has the power to deceive those who would seek to harm you./


However he looked at it, what lay beyond definitely bore investigation, but demanded caution. Noticing that the cave darkened ahead as it stretched away from the opening, Backer removed and pocketed his sunglasses while opening up a conduit of light energy to provide constant illumination.

A pulse revealed no creatures further in, but the presence of a large, fire-aligned creature outside along with the strange signal emanating from deeper inside the cave. He proceeded into the cave, being sure to keep track of the creature outside.

/Tracking…

t=0
Anomaly: 27m ±0.5m, +0.10 mark -0.02 ±0.02, estimated size: <.5m
Fire Creature: 12m ±1.5m, -3.03 mark +0.05 ±0.05, estimated size: 1m X 1m X 3m

t=1
Anomaly 26m ±0.5m, +0.09 mark -0.02 ±0.02, relative velocity: 1m/s
Fire Creature: 9m ±1.5m, -3.10 mark +0.04 ±0.04, relative velocity: 3m/s

t=2
Anomaly 25m ±0.5m, +0.07 mark -0.01 ±0.02, relative velocity: 1m/s
Fire Creature: 6m ±1.5m, +3.04 mark +0.02 ±0.03, relative velocity: 3m/s

t=3
Anomaly 23m ±0.5m, +0.01 mark -0.01 ±0.02, relative velocity: 2m/s
Fire Creature: 4m ±1.5m, +2.99 mark +0.01 ±0.02, relative velocity: 2m/s

Critical proximity; danger imminent!/


Backer spun around to see what appeared to be a giant boar barrel into the cavern.

/Assessing creature’s status:

Visible wounds: Axe imbedded in left eye. Three shurikens imbedded in hide; one of which appears to pierce the skull.

Demeanor: Enraged.

Conclusion: Creature appears to have just engaged in combat with others. It likely fled when wounded. Given its enraged state, conflict is inevitable.


With its good eye, the boar caught sight of Backer. It let out a ferocious roar and reared to charge. /Initiating advanced combat protocols./

Backer jumped and rolled off to his left to avoid the boar’s charge. As he jumped back up, he quickly drew and slashed his Swift at the boar’s rear leg. The slash met with resistance and failed to deal significant damage. Meanwhile, the boar’s momentum sent it crashing into the wall, blasting chunks of rock outwards. /Enemy’s parameters measured. Strength: 734%; Speed: 72%; Dexterity: 23%. Current parameters: Strength: 231%; Speed: 175%; Dexterity: 411%/

As the boar was recovering, Backer turned to face it and channeled ice energy into his blade. As the energy reached its capacity, he shot out an icicle at the boar’s flank. It penetrated to a short depth before melting away, but it didn’t seem to faze the boar. /Enemy weaknesses analyzed. Known weaknesses: Low accuracy and skill. One eye already damaged; damage to other eye will blind it. Possible weakness to ice energy./

As the boar turned towards him, Backer recharged his blade. His second icicle drove into the boar’s right eye, effectively blinding it. Nevertheless, the boar launched into a second charge in his general direction. Backer easily dodged it, and started channeling ice energy in a beam focused on the boar.

/Constant channeling protocols initiated. Mode: Ice./

/Conduits opening throughout body. Output focused through left hand./
A beam of ice shot out from his hand, nailing the boar to the wall. The irises of Backer’s eyes changed from their usual rainbow of colors to a bright blue.

/Conduits aligning with ice energy./ As the beam intensified, Backer’s skin tone turned a pale blue. The boar fell to the ground, too weak to remain standing.

/Maximum output attained. Harnessing ambient energy./ A pale, blue aura surrounded Backer, and his beam widened to match its width. Within moments, he cut off the flow to avoid overwhelming himself with the energy. The boar wasn’t nearly as lucky; it had frozen solid, covered in a large ice crystal. Exhausted, he sat on a nearby ledge to rest and recover his energy. /Advanced combat protocols disengaged./


A few minutes later, he sensed a pair of humanoids entering the cave, both fire-aligned. As they turned the corner into his cavern, a male voice exclaimed, “Whoa! Doesn’t that just beat all! What do you s’pose happened to it?”

“It attacked,” Backer said, stepping into their line of sight. “I defended myself. It was rather simple to defeat.”

The two others, startled, jumped into defensive stances, but Backer held out his hands to show that he meant no harm. “Who are you?” the male demanded. He was a demi-human who looked like a cross between a human and a tiger.

“You can call me Backer,” he replied. “I take it you’re the ones who engaged this boar outside?”

“That’s us,” the woman replied. She was lithe and attractive, with flame-red hair and matching clothing. Her right hand was wrapped in bandages—likely the result of their encounter with the boar. “We came to finish the job, but it looks like you not only beat us to it, but prepared it for cold storage.”

“Perhaps I was a bit overzealous,” Backer replied. “but there’s no point in taking unwarranted risks. I suppose you’ll be wanting your weapons back.” Backer approached the frozen boar and started channeling fire energy. “Why don’t you tell me who you are?”

“Amy Millian,” the woman said, finally relaxing her guard. “The stiff here’s Hunter Deschain. We’re adventurers. What about you?”

“I’m sometimes called ‘The Seeker,’” Backer replied. A quick burst of flames defrosted the boar. “Where adventurers journey aimlessly for the sake of the journey, I journey aimlessly for the sake of the destination. I just don’t know what I’ll find.”

“What are you seeking?” Amy asked him.

“What else? Purpose, meaning.” He yanked the axe out of the boar’s eye, and grabbed the shurikens he could see. “Acceptance wouldn’t hurt, either.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hunter finally spoke up.

“A place to call home,” Backer said, handing the axe back to Hunter, who grumbled his thanks. “Right now, I’m tracing down an odd energy source I detected from this island.”

“Detected?” Hunter queried.

“I may not look like it, but I’m a demi-human, too,” Backer replied, handing the shurikens to Amy. “You may have noticed you can see me perfectly despite the absence of light in this cavern. Additionally, you’ll notice that my eyes are multi-colored. Both are side-effects of my affinity for elemental energy. I can channel it…” At this, he manifested a ball of fire in his hand, then rotated it to spheres of light, shadow, ice, lightning, and finally released it in a blast of wind. “I can also sense it. I sensed an odd type of energy, corresponding to none of the elements, coming from this cave.”

“You think this has anything to do with that freaky writing out front?” Hunter asked him, finally relaxing slightly.

“That’s Draconian script. It mentions ‘Danger’ and an ‘Artifact,’ so I’m betting it does,” Backer explained. “I’m heading onward, you can come if you want; it’s not far away, now.”

“What do you say, Millster?” Hunter asked his partner. “Intrigued?”

“You bet.”

“Just one thing,” Backer said, motioning to Amy. “Let me see that hand.” When she cautiously held out her hand to him, Backer channeled a burst of life energy into it, healing its wound.


Backer led the way deeper into the cave, providing illumination for the trio. Before long, they reached an opening into a large cavern. At the center of the cavern was an altar, holding the source of the energy signature. It looked like a statue of a flame, frozen in place. Backer realized what it had to be: the legendary Frozen Flame.

He felt it calling to him, and took a step forward. His companions left his mind as it told him of all the power it could grant him. /This doesn’t seem right; primary thought stream is becoming erratic./

It could give him the power to bring order to the world… /No./

He could exact justice on those who had shunned him… /No. Initiated logical override.

Incoming data: The Frozen Flame will grant you whatever you desire most.

Request: What is the purpose of the Frozen Flame?

Response: The Frozen Flame grants people the power to fulfill their wishes.

Request: Why does the Frozen Flame do this?

Response: The Frozen Flame will grant you whatever you desire most.

Request: I desire information. Tell me the truth of the Frozen Flame’s purpose.

Response: The Frozen Flame grants people power in order to add chaos to the world.

Request: Why does it do this?

Response: Increased chaos provides increase variation. Increased variation allows Lavos to harvest more varied data.

Overtone wave detected. Signal is being hacked by outside entity. Entity identified: LEGACY. Incoming data…/


Backer’s mind was assaulted with overwhelming amounts of information. A normal human would have been rendered brain-dead, but Backer’s superhuman mind was able to survive by immediately shunting the data to the deeper recesses of his memory. Nevertheless, he was subjected to a fierce migraine.

/Supplementary data received: Purpose awaits at the End of Time.

Request: How do I reach the End of Time?

Instructions received./


Backer felt a new power coursing through his body. The energy emitted by the Frozen Flame was absorbed into his body as his senses opened up to this new element.

/Element null successfully harnessed. Executing element cycle./

Elemental energy cycled through his Swift in turn, ending with the new, “null,” element. His perception expanded beyond the three spatial dimensions, and he plunged his Swift into the fabric of space-time. He slashed through it, rending a hole in space. A void opened up, sucking him, Hunter, and Amy the space-time coordinates of least resistance: The End of Time.

V_Translanka

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« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2004, 04:16:05 am »
Wow, again, I'm impressed beyond belief...Get that fanfic up ASAP 8)

I think I'd like another interpretation of the warning to be something of the El Nido warning of the FF...

Quote from: El Nido oral Lore
Be very careful when you stare into the flame...For the flame will also stare back at you...It will either transform you into a different being...Or burn you into ashes.


Not all of it, heck, not even the exact same words, but something like it would be a nice touch, especially for the changes that occur w/Hunter & Amy...

Also, Amy's signature shouldn't be Red/Fire, but Black/Shadow.

I'd love to add to this part, "Amy Millian,” the woman said, finally relaxing her guard. “The stiff here’s Hunter Deschain. We’re adventurers. What about you?”

After '...finally relaxing her guard,' If you could put in 'looking Backer up and down, virtually stripping him with her eyes' or something in the same vein would be nice. I'd like her to notice his Demi-Human-ness a touch sooner than when he tells them, even though Hunter does not.

I really love Backer and would love the trio to continue together, if possible, even after their time in the EoT. I love the fact that Hunter and Backer seem so totally opposite...Hell, where you made Backer adverse to alcohol, I made Hunter a practical drunkard. I think there'd be a lot to play with between the two, especially with Amy's particular interest in Demi-Humans...

Everything else seems fine, all the dialogue is good, and I can add H & A's changes in the EoT...

Leebot

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« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2004, 08:46:45 am »
[Alright, how about this?

As for my next Backer fic, I haven't actually started writing anything yet; I'm still formulating ideas. So far, here's what I'm thinking:

-It'll be in an alternate dimension, similar to the world of CC, around 1025 AD.

-The premise will be that the Entity (who'll I'll assume is the planet, Gaia) has decided that humanity has crossed the line and needs to be exterminated.

-The character of Backer will have the same mind, but he'll start out with no memories. His superhuman powers will also be drastically different.

-The ending will reveal in more detail the connection between Backer and LEGACY, along with the nature of LEGACY.]

Scene X – The Seeker

The Isle of Eden, El Nido Archipelago
1021 A.D.


The cave reeked of an unnatural smell. Smells of blood, excrements, and other natural, organic functions were tinged with something Backer couldn’t readily identify, but which felt similar to the energy source he had been tracking. He wouldn’t let the smell bother him, however; for him, it was a trivial matter to mentally block an unpleasant sensation.

Ahead, the cave narrowed somewhat. On the wall to his right was what appeared to be runic writing inscribed on the wall. He identified it as a Draconian message, imbued with their standard, frustrating charm. This charm prevented the reader from seeing any more than a couple of letters at a time. The letters were the same wherever one looked, but changed with time as the message went through its cycle. It forced the reader to take their time and wait—patience was a great virtue among the Draconians.

Backer wasn’t fully versed in Draconian, but he knew enough to translate a few of the words that appeared: “…Careful…Flame…Back…Transformation…Burn.”

/El Nido lore recalled: “Be very careful when you stare into the flame...For the flame will also stare back at you... It will either transform you into a different being... Or burn you into ashes.”

Probability of match: 97.6%/


What lay beyond definitely bore investigation, but demanded caution. Noticing that the cave darkened ahead as it stretched away from the opening, Backer removed and pocketed his sunglasses while opening up a conduit of light energy to provide constant illumination.

A pulse revealed no creatures further in, but the presence of a large, fire-aligned creature outside along with the strange signal emanating from deeper inside the cave. He proceeded into the cave, being sure to keep track of the creature outside.

/Tracking…

t=0
Anomaly: 27m ±0.5m, +0.10 mark -0.02 ±0.02, estimated size: <.5m
Fire Creature: 12m ±1.5m, -3.03 mark +0.05 ±0.05, estimated size: 1m X 1m X 3m

t=1
Anomaly 26m ±0.5m, +0.09 mark -0.02 ±0.02, relative velocity: 1m/s
Fire Creature: 9m ±1.5m, -3.10 mark +0.04 ±0.04, relative velocity: 3m/s

t=2
Anomaly 25m ±0.5m, +0.07 mark -0.01 ±0.02, relative velocity: 1m/s
Fire Creature: 6m ±1.5m, +3.04 mark +0.02 ±0.03, relative velocity: 3m/s

t=3
Anomaly 23m ±0.5m, +0.01 mark -0.01 ±0.02, relative velocity: 2m/s
Fire Creature: 4m ±1.5m, +2.99 mark +0.01 ±0.02, relative velocity: 2m/s

Critical proximity; danger imminent!/


Backer spun around to see what appeared to be a giant boar barrel into the cavern.

/Assessing creature’s status:

Visible wounds: Axe imbedded in left eye. Three shurikens imbedded in hide; one of which appears to pierce the skull.

Demeanor: Enraged.

Conclusion: Creature appears to have just engaged in combat with others. It likely fled when wounded. Given its enraged state, conflict is inevitable.


With its good eye, the boar caught sight of Backer. It let out a ferocious roar and reared to charge. /Initiating advanced combat protocols./

Backer jumped and rolled off to his left to avoid the boar’s charge. As he jumped back up, he quickly drew and slashed his Swift at the boar’s rear leg. The slash met with resistance and failed to deal significant damage. Meanwhile, the boar’s momentum sent it crashing into the wall, blasting chunks of rock outwards. /Enemy’s parameters measured. Strength: 734%; Speed: 72%; Dexterity: 23%. Current parameters: Strength: 231%; Speed: 175%; Dexterity: 411%/

As the boar was recovering, Backer turned to face it and channeled ice energy into his blade. As the energy reached its capacity, he shot out an icicle at the boar’s flank. It penetrated to a short depth before melting away, but it didn’t seem to faze the boar. /Enemy weaknesses analyzed. Known weaknesses: Low accuracy and skill. One eye already damaged; damage to other eye will blind it. Possible weakness to ice energy./

As the boar turned towards him, Backer recharged his blade. His second icicle drove into the boar’s right eye, effectively blinding it. Nevertheless, the boar launched into a second charge in his general direction. Backer easily dodged it, and started channeling ice energy in a beam focused on the boar.

/Constant channeling protocols initiated. Mode: Ice./

/Conduits opening throughout body. Output focused through left hand./
A beam of ice shot out from his hand, nailing the boar to the wall. The irises of Backer’s eyes changed from their usual rainbow of colors to a bright blue.

/Conduits aligning with ice energy./ As the beam intensified, Backer’s skin tone turned a pale blue. The boar fell to the ground, too weak to remain standing.

/Maximum output attained. Harnessing ambient energy./ A pale, blue aura surrounded Backer, and his beam widened to match its width. Within moments, he cut off the flow to avoid overwhelming himself with the energy. The boar wasn’t nearly as lucky; it had frozen solid, covered in a large ice crystal. Exhausted, he sat on a nearby ledge to rest and recover his energy. /Advanced combat protocols disengaged./


A few minutes later, he sensed a pair of humanoids entering the cave, one fire-aligned, one shadow-aligned. As they turned the corner into his cavern, a male voice exclaimed, “Whoa! Doesn’t that just beat all! What do you s’pose happened to it?”

“It attacked,” Backer said, stepping into their line of sight. “I defended myself. It was rather simple to defeat.”

The two others, startled, jumped into defensive stances, but Backer held out his hands to show that he meant no harm. “Who are you?” the male demanded. He was a demi-human who looked like a cross between a human and a tiger.

“You can call me Backer,” he replied. “I take it you’re the ones who engaged this boar outside?”

“That’s us,” the woman replied. She was lithe and attractive, with flame-red hair and matching clothing. Her right hand was wrapped in bandages—likely the result of their encounter with the boar. “We came to finish the job, but it looks like you not only beat us to it, but prepared it for cold storage.”

“Perhaps I was a bit overzealous,” Backer replied. “but there’s no point in taking unwarranted risks. I suppose you’ll be wanting your weapons back.” Backer approached the frozen boar and started channeling fire energy. “Why don’t you tell me who you are?”

“Amy Millian,” the woman said, finally relaxing her guard. She looked Backer up and down, seeming to undress him with her eyes. Her gaze caught temporarily on his eyes, noticing their array of colors, and she quirked a smile. “The stiff here’s Hunter Deschain. We’re adventurers. What about you?”

“I’m sometimes called ‘The Seeker,’” Backer replied. A quick burst of flames defrosted the boar. “Where adventurers journey aimlessly for the sake of the journey, I journey aimlessly for the sake of the destination. I just don’t know what I’ll find.”

“What are you seeking?” Amy asked him.

“What else? Purpose, meaning.” He yanked the axe out of the boar’s eye, and grabbed the shurikens he could see. “Acceptance wouldn’t hurt, either.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hunter finally spoke up.

“A place to call home,” Backer said, handing the axe back to Hunter, who grumbled his thanks. “Right now, I’m tracing down an odd energy source I detected from this island.”

“Detected?” Hunter queried.

“I may not look like it, but I’m a demi-human, too,” Backer replied, handing the shurikens to Amy. “You may have noticed you can see me perfectly despite the absence of light in this cavern. Additionally, you’ll notice that my eyes are multi-colored. Both are side-effects of my affinity for elemental energy. I can channel it…” At this, he manifested a ball of fire in his hand, then rotated it to spheres of light, shadow, ice, lightning, and finally released it in a blast of wind. “I can also sense it. I sensed an odd type of energy, corresponding to none of the elements, coming from this cave.”

“You think this has anything to do with that freaky writing out front?” Hunter asked him, finally relaxing slightly.

“That’s Draconian script. It mentions ‘Danger’ and an ‘Artifact,’ so I’m betting it does,” Backer explained. “I’m heading onward, you can come if you want; it’s not far away, now.”

“What do you say, Millster?” Hunter asked his partner. “Intrigued?”

“You bet.”

“Just one thing,” Backer said, motioning to Amy. “Let me see that hand.” When she cautiously held out her hand to him, Backer channeled a burst of life energy into it, healing its wound.


Backer led the way deeper into the cave, providing illumination for the trio. Before long, they reached an opening into a large cavern. At the center of the cavern was an altar, holding the source of the energy signature. It looked like a statue of a flame, frozen in place. Backer realized what it had to be: the legendary Frozen Flame.

He felt it calling to him, and took a step forward. His companions left his mind as it told him of all the power it could grant him. /This doesn’t seem right; primary thought stream is becoming erratic./

It could give him the power to bring order to the world… /No./

He could exact justice on those who had shunned him… /No. Initiating logical override.

Incoming data: The Frozen Flame will grant you whatever you desire most.

Request: What is the purpose of the Frozen Flame?

Response: The Frozen Flame grants people the power to fulfill their wishes.

Request: Why does the Frozen Flame do this?

Response: The Frozen Flame will grant you whatever you desire most.

Request: I desire information. Tell me the truth of the Frozen Flame’s purpose.

Response: The Frozen Flame grants people power in order to add chaos to the world.

Request: Why does it do this?

Response: Increased chaos provides increase variation. Increased variation allows Lavos to harvest more varied data.

Overtone wave detected. Signal is being hacked by outside entity. Entity identified: LEGACY. Incoming data…/


Backer’s mind was assaulted with overwhelming amounts of information. A normal human would have been rendered brain-dead, but Backer’s superhuman mind was able to survive by immediately shunting the data to the deeper recesses of his memory. Nevertheless, he was subjected to a fierce migraine.

/Supplementary data received: Purpose awaits at the End of Time.

Request: How do I reach the End of Time?

Instructions received./


Backer felt a new power coursing through his body. The energy emitted by the Frozen Flame was absorbed into his body as his senses opened up to this new element.

/Element null successfully harnessed. Executing element cycle./

Elemental energy cycled through his Swift in turn, ending with the new, “null,” element. His perception expanded beyond the three spatial dimensions, and he plunged his Swift into the fabric of space-time. He slashed through it, rending a hole in space. A void opened up, sucking him, Hunter, and Amy to the space-time coordinates of least resistance: The End of Time.

[Edit: Accidentally posted the last paragraph twice.]

chronotriggerfreak

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« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2004, 05:38:03 pm »
Consider this a notice that I am, in fact, working on an introductory scene for Garg.

By the way, if Ybrik has seemingly fled the scene, does that mean someone is needed to write Toma scenes? I would be perfectly willing to do so, and it would be a bit fun to write two "enemies"...

ZeaLitY

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« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2004, 05:44:48 pm »
Sure; he told me he hasn't been to the Compendium in more than 2 weeks.

V_Translanka

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« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2004, 07:23:42 pm »
Sounds great Leebot! :mrgreen:

That's kinda sad about Ybrik...He said earlier somewhere that he was busy with something right? What's he been up to? And although he had said he had plans for Glenn (CC), I'll probably still call my Glenn (alt dimension Frog) Kaeru just in case later down the road Ybrik pops back 'into the scene' (so to speak).

Dunsparce

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« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2004, 07:53:22 pm »
I made a Intro... but I lost it. moving a file from one computer to another is inmpossible if one has no cd or floppy thingys, and the other has no internet. should I just say the simple outline of it so you people get the whole picture? I am extremely frustrated right now due to the VERY high level of inconveinience (and I have no idea whether I spelled anything wrong. Im only 15 so give me a break)

chronotriggerfreak

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« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2004, 08:01:44 pm »
Two words: Microsoft Word.

Dunsparce

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« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2004, 08:07:55 pm »
I meant my post, not the intro.