If I may make two suggestions, Lavodox:
1.) When you want to communicate to the audience that your character is going through some strong emotional stress, don't have the character SCREAM IN ALL CAPS. Instead, you might try for a prose description of the anger/sadness/fear/etc. welling up inside the character. Screams are fine, of course - just back it up with substantive description. For my own part I tend to emphasize shouted dialogue with italics, but I'm sure many writers frown on that practice as well, for various reasons.
2.) When figuring out what to name your newly-invented non-canon characters, remember that the sky's the limit. Be creative! Don't settle for changing a few letters in Gaspar's name to yield "Gospair" -- although that may have been intended as satire or somehow necessitated by Zeal's linguistic structure, in which case such a name would work just fine. It's always fun to research obscure religious & historical figures on Wikipedia to get ideas for character names and the like. But that's just me.
Brownie points for working Compendium theory into the fic. That's always a plus, and I should do the same myself more often.
Anyway, keep up the good work! And as always, keep a close eye on your spelling/grammar.
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