Author Topic: The $%*! frustration thread  (Read 473047 times)

chrono eric

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1080 on: January 13, 2009, 11:53:07 pm »
As for memories...they're there, but residual. They poke through dreams and stuff, or get unlocked in hypnosis.

I brought it up because while it may not be possible to prove or disprove the existence of a deity, it is certainly possible to prove or disprove certain tenets of religion that are based within the material world - and this is one of them. Since memory is rooted firmly by a biological cause, and since absolute amnesia can be produced via effecting the necessary parts of the brain, then it necessarily follows that even if reincarnation is possible via the transmigration of consciousness it is clearly not possible to transfer memories once the brain is dead.

If this is her belief then the burden of proof is upon her, and if she holds it against you for not buying into that because there is no evidence that supports it, then screw her. Find somebody else.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1081 on: January 13, 2009, 11:55:35 pm »
Thanks for the support. I can't tell you how much some part of me is beating myself up inside for not pretending, as she is an amazing, remarkable person, and there isn't exactly a line of people like that waiting to fulfill my romantic vision.

KebreI

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1082 on: January 13, 2009, 11:58:16 pm »
I don't want to end up say what choice you should make, by all means Z go for what you choose, that is what this boils down to.  I would choose tolerance in favor of my ideal, I know for a some one like fact J esq would probably choose the opposite. Enjoy the choice you make, both outcomes can lead to happiness and can also lead away from it.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1083 on: January 14, 2009, 12:01:22 am »
If you guys think this is some ideologically-motivated spur-of-the-moment decision of intolerance, that's not it. I strive for a consummately intimate relationship, and that means sharing everything. And one's worldview is at the core of an awful lot of a person's identity. If I had any degree less of a friendship with her, it wouldn't be like this, but I seek to perfectly empathize and know someone. And at this level, the differing beliefs are manifesting through differences that would hinder fulfillment. She is also aware of them. I'm just making it official.

chrono eric

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1084 on: January 14, 2009, 12:01:34 am »
Thanks for the support. I can't tell you how much some part of me is beating myself up inside for not pretending, as she is an amazing, remarkable person, and there isn't exactly a line of people like that waiting to fulfill my romantic vision.

I may sound like an enormous dick for saying this, but:

I was in a similar position once in that I realized a relationship just would not work out after dating for only a short time. She was...what's the word...stupid, that's right. We had nothing to talk about. It was excrutiating hanging around her. So I did the respectable thing and ended it. Thing was, this chick was a major babe. Like perfect physically. And afterwards the only regret that I had was that I never banged her.

Still beating myself up about that to this day. Now she has a kid though. I guess I might have dodged a bullet there.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1085 on: January 14, 2009, 12:02:46 am »
Nah, it's not like that. I can talk for hours with this person, and I agree on an awful lot. She has a true IQ of 140 and is brilliant, academically and artistically. But not the most important, fundamental things, and that's too much. She's my best friend (or was, depending on how this goes on that side...).

chrono eric

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1086 on: January 14, 2009, 12:06:55 am »
Nah, it's not like that. I can talk for hours with this person, and I agree on an awful lot. She has a true IQ of 140 and is brilliant, academically and artistically. But not the most important, fundamental things, and that's too much. She's my best friend (or was, depending on how this goes on that side...).

No I meant I don't regret breaking up with her for the reason that she was stupid, only that I didn't bang her when I had the opportunity, which is why I said "I may sound like a major dick by saying this, but" beforehand.

Dumping someone because they aren't as intellectual as you is a perfectly acceptable reason for dumping someone. So is dumping someone because their spiritual beliefs differ.

EDIT: But on a side note, perhaps you should be a little less strict about what you are looking for in a relationship? If you are too strict, then you may never find happiness. Take, for example, the possibility that you meet someone that is perfect for you in every way - but ten years down the road they suddenly become a fundamentalist Christian. Would you try to make the relationship still work then, or would you just give up?
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 12:12:15 am by chrono eric »

Shadow D. Darkman

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1087 on: January 14, 2009, 12:10:50 am »
Z, do you know if she has a habit of forcing her views on others? Chances are she doesn't but I just want to clarify.

Personally, I would dump her if she does. But that's if it were me. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in that, despite Christian doctrine (TBH Christianity has some views that I agree with) stating we must do it.

Romana

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1088 on: January 14, 2009, 12:12:15 am »
No religion, really. Just a belief in reincarnation and karma.

That doesn't sound too bad, reincarnation's not nearly as exceedingly stupid as most beliefs, although karma... eugh.

This will probably be the end, Kebrel. My life exists around a core of humanism and human potential and adventure. This person's exists around something different. I can't hide my true nature any longer.

So are you hiding the fact you disagree with her beliefs or are you intent to make sure she's aware of your opinion?

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I just...it'd be so awfully easy to hate and revile the world for being so religious and irrational. I'm tired of having my options limited from the get-go because of superstition. It took me a long time before I was ready to accept the existential responsibility for my own life and remove the concept of heaven from the end of my existence and replace it with a mystery. But I did it. I wish everyone else could, too. This world would be so much better if people weren't focused on the mythical world that follows.

It was the same with me. I finally decided to stop questioning the whole concept and ditched religious life at about 13. I think of it this way: realising you have a life right now, this very second - and one that's limited I might add - is something that everyone needs to see. There's not even a flicker of evidence that you live on after death, so making the most of the life you KNOW you're living is the best option. And if people insist all this 'self-learning' and all that crap is something you can only learn through religion, there is something seriously wrong and you should expose yourself to the world you live in rather than a confined space of prayer and reading from a book that no-one finds interesting.

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These comments aren't directed at you, but since you brought the topic up...I just strongly dislike the Eastern issue with desire. Desire can be good or bad, but it shouldn't be expunged. Desire brings progress. And then...that attitude can be bad. The other day on Digg, a ton of Diggers (who are usually extremely rational, albeit also sexist) posted that "Buddhism isn't a religion; it's a philosophy," which is complete bullshit. Buddhism is filled with just as much metaphysical and ritualistic insanity as a fair share of other religions.

It sure as hell is a religion, as you said, it's full of 'staple' religion practices.

Quote from: ZeaLitY
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Z, first cool your head.

If you think this thread is "hot" concerning religion, then you've yet to taste the real Compendium.

That thread was something indeed.

Anyway, I think what you need to do is ask yourself whether this girl is really someone who stands out to you, someone you really should never give up the chance to be with. Letting some beliefs of hers get in the way of your opinion of her may be a little harsh (although not so if she's pushing these beliefs onto others and/or generally acting superior about it), so you ought to look past that and decide for yourself if you really think she's worth it, religious beliefs or no.

EDIT: "Warning - while you were typing 16 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post."
...Wow. It begins.

KebreI

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1089 on: January 14, 2009, 12:15:20 am »
I don't speak of turn a blind eye to something that's not tolerance that is blindness. I meant accept it as HER look on the world, see what boons it provides you two a just as yours does. Years later she may move to see it your way, or even vise-versa.


ZeaLitY, I only know you from text on a website and I know you enough that this is pure merging of two people, with this in mind I still stand by what I said. Your sound like you want to be with her, but your not sure it you should. I think this is where my experience in this comes to an end.

Shadow D. Darkman

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1090 on: January 14, 2009, 12:17:06 am »
Anyway, I think what you need to do is ask yourself whether this girl is really someone who stands out to you, someone you really should never give up the chance to be with. Letting some beliefs of hers get in the way of your opinion of her may be a little harsh (although not so if she's pushing these beliefs onto others and/or generally acting superior about it), so you ought to look past that and decide for yourself if you really think she's worth it, religious beliefs or no.

*blinks in surprise*

Well said, Pyt.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1091 on: January 14, 2009, 12:17:53 am »
EDIT: But on a side note, perhaps you should be a little less strict about what you are looking for in a relationship? If you are too strict, then you may never find happiness. Take, for example, the possibility that you meet someone that is perfect for you in every way - but ten years down the road they suddenly become a fundamentalist Christian. Would you try to make the relationship still work then, or would you just give up?

I have confirmed that people I would like to be with exist. After all, I exist. Others like me exist. I'm extremely flexible and empathetic, and I see differences as learning opportunities. I tarried long in the halls of divine justice to explore the merits of that belief and empathize with it completely. And, just as I sometimes empathize with villains in fiction, I really enjoy exploring a person's dark side, such as petty emotions or neuroticism. That's just as interesting to me.

Edit 2: And a lot of this comes from self-validation and meaning in life. If I really do let my life solely be a sacrifice for someone else's, then what have I to add meaning to my own? Where do I derive my validation and self-esteem? I can't...deny my own nature. I find humanity's potential to be beautiful, and I don't believe in things without a rational basis. These innocent two points sculpt a lot of viewpoints and behavior. If we lived in a more intelligent world, we'd be telling the fundamentalist Christian guy not to limit his options to other fundamentalists, not me.

When I fall in love, it's because I seek to know a person at the core. Anything before that is just interest, like a crush. But I only fall in love after I've established a deep friendship and know someone very, very well. I thought things would work out here, but they probably aren't. But there are others. And I'm in the springtime of youth. It honestly isn't hard for me at all to fall in love with the right person. Maybe it's too easy.

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So are you hiding the fact you disagree with her beliefs or are you intent to make sure she's aware of your opinion?

I spent a few months discussing hers, and it probably looked like I embraced them. Well, this period is over. I have to state where I'm not going to change.

I've constantly thought about this. There are just differences that would hinder the complete intimacy and life-sharing that we both seek from a relationship, unless things seem reconcilable.

Edit: We're probably past the point where she's going to be offended that I'm talking about this in public, so ease up a little...
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 12:21:27 am by ZeaLitY »

V_Translanka

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1092 on: January 14, 2009, 12:19:41 am »
And now for something completely different...

I hate the photographers of most pornography shoots. They almost always have no sense of framing. Hey, maybe I found myself a new profession! >_>

FaustWolf

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1093 on: January 14, 2009, 12:22:21 am »
Man, I wonder if Mary Matalin and James Carville went through this back when they got hitched. Now, there's an odd couple -- how the heck do they keep it together? Could be something to draw inspiration from, perhaps.

Oh, that wasn't in response to V's post. Uh, just in case it would have sounded weird in that context.  8)

chrono eric

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #1094 on: January 14, 2009, 12:24:08 am »
I'm extremely flexible

Except perhaps in what you are looking for in a relationship?  :D

I have confirmed that people I would like to be with exist. After all, I exist. Others like me exist.

Right, but what if you don't meet such a person for years that satisfies all your criteria? Or what if you never meet them? Or what if you do but they change down the road by say, adopting a worldview that you are incompatible with? Or what if you yourself change?

Relationships are never perfect and love is never perfect, because people aren't perfect. Then there's the ever present possibility that you do meet someone that is perfect for you and fall in love with them but they don't fall in love with you back. Life is full of uncertainties, the only certainty you are given in life is that you can choose the path that you think will truly make you happy. And if you think adopting a strict relationship policy will do that, then that is a respectable position.

I just think you should examine the possibility that you will be in for a lot of heartache and you may never find what you are looking for.

And now for something completely different...

I hate the photographers of most pornography shoots. They almost always have no sense of framing. Hey, maybe I found myself a new profession! >_>

I personally don't mind it. If it looks too professional I become acutely aware that the chicks are all faking it anyways.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 12:27:59 am by chrono eric »