WORST. MASAMUNE. THEORY. EVER.

[GreenGannon]

Have fun with this one Zeality. No, I didn't make this up. Someone else did.
 

According to the recorded translations from the game 'Radical Dreamers',
'Chrono Cross' and 'Chrono Trigger' the Masamune has a long illustrious
alluring past. Originally used by Magus to slay many villagers and turn Glenn,
a guy who seemed to threaten his 'name' into a frog. After this Magus
threatened his life, where he in turn went on a rampage and killed his father,
Cyrus. However, a while later the Masamune found its way into Frog/Glenn's
hands and he went for revenge. Cyrus's spirit lived on even after Magus killed
him, and Magus's hate and emotions of rage and evil went into it. Cyrus's ghost
became possessed of those raging emotions of destruction Magus had and went
into Frog/Glenn. He then sought out revenge of Magus for what he did, he wished
to kill Magus with his own hands. Though Frog/Glenn never succeeded, his own
hate and rage coupled with that of the possessed spirit of Cyrus, went into the
evil sword Masamune. Nu, the god of the Masamune granted Frog/Glenn another
chance, and in one timeline he becomes his former human self. Though forever
changed by his feelings of Magus. However Cyrus's spirit continues to inhabit
the Masamune sword now tainted by human emotion and rage, and finds its way
into another man's hands. Many many years down the road, Radius, one of the
last of the Acacia Dragoon Horsemen comes across the Masamune and instantly
those evil feelings of hate and rage course through him causing him to want to
kill. His anger and jealousy coupled with the hate and evil of the Masamune
make him kill Grandmaster Garai, 13th Acacia Dragoon and the best swordsman
since him. Afterwards Lu(Nu) decides the evil of the sword has grown too
strong, and erects a new sword in the clock tower by Lynx's Mansion. This new
sword holds the saintly god like powers that Lu itself attained. The sword is
called the Einlanzer, and Lu uses it to Vanquish the now soaked with evil
Masamune demon into pieces. Radius then regains his self and tainted by old
age, leaves to guard the Frozen Flame in Lynx's mansion. However, long before
Radius ever beheld the sword, a more sinister evil had to have beheld it.
Someone with enough hate and rage to kill hundreds of people. It was
documented, that an unnamed Dragoon weilded the sword and slaughtered many in a
form of Revenge of Cyrus. Though it was never found who it was, he was rumored
to be the lost brother of Cyrus himself! It made somewhat sense, as Frog
couldn't have done this and the one who did wield it caused many deaths. Not
many swordsman except Cyrus were that good. However, whether it was Cyrus's
brother or not, remains to be seen, but the spirit of Cyrus's tainted ghost
caused the man to go insane and kill many upon many people. At this time Doreen
split from the Masamune forever leaving Masa and Mune behind. After Lu had
vanquished the sword, with the new power of the Einlanzer, all was thought to
be peaceful again.
However, in another dimension Radius and Garai who had been childhood friends
for years began on a journey. Garai wielded the holy sword Einlanzer, which was
thought to be the strongest sword in all of the land. Until that fateful day
the travelers stumbled upon Divine Dragon Falls. And within the coursing power
of the Masamune! Once again the power was too much for Radius, and consumed him
with the evil and vengeful emotions he held! He killed Garai in a fit of
insanity, on the edge of Isle of the Damned where they met. After this the evil
hateful emotions of the Masamune went into Garai's Spirit and coursed through
it, and his possessed spirit went into the Masamune. Radius and his own
vengeful emotions, and those of the unknown dragoon and Magus, Frog/Glenn all
coursed through the possessed spirit of Garai, combined with its own hateful
emotions this tainted the Masamune to become completely evil. Later on the
Masamune found its way into another man's hands. Dario, who was Garai's own
son. But it was believed Karsh weilded it over a childhood jealousy and
murdered sir Dario! However, Dario picked it up and used it to almost kill
Karsh! The possessed spirit of his father, Garai in the Masamune caused him to
become evil. Karsh then threw him over the cliff in the Isle of the Damned
thinking him to be dead! Lynx afterwards himself stepped in and told Karsh to
never tell anyone ever, or if they knew the truth, of how he killed Dario, it
would forever shame his name. Lynx lied and then took the Masamune to the Dead
Sea, where he used it to guard against those tresspassers who would interfere
with his plans. Afterwards Radius took the Einlanzer from Garai's own grave and
made the Masamune leave the Dead Sea! However it was assumed it was gone! But
later Karsh, Glenn, Riddel, Viper and Radius himself saw that Dario had washed
ashore a strange isle. And the possessed Masamune sword with the evil spirit of
his father had taken him over as well! Apparently the only way to undo the
surpremely evil sword was to once again reunite Doreen with the others. As the
legend of Nu told, Karsh and Company fought their own friend, Dario there in a
duel of the ages. They then banished the evil possessed spirits of the Masamune
forever, and the sword became the new Masamune, welding Doreen, Masa and Mune
together again, into the GrandDream(Mastermune)!! Not ever again has the
Masamune fallen to evil, but as everything goes that could not be permanent. If
the great Masamune does become evil once again, whom's emotions and feelings
will trigger it...??? The Masamune itself works on the emotions and raging
thoughts of the owner, taking in the spirits of those who have died by
unrighteous bloodshed and vanquished many without cause. The Masamune in turn
turns to pure evil because of the evil in who wields it. Lu(Nu) for this reason
constructed the Einlanzer, a pure and holy sword capable of vanquishing the
evil which befalls the Masamune. If ever the sword should fall to evil again
the Einlanzer will eliminate it.

[Leebot]

No. Just, no.

[Hadriel]

Yes, I recall reading that -- I believe it was on GameFAQs.

I think my IQ just dropped a few points.

[GreenGannon]

Yeah, Zelda Dude's FAQ

[Hadriel]

Such a thing brings disgrace upon Zelda fans everywhere.

[V_Translanka]

**** the Zelda fans, what about GameFAQs? Do they even review any of the crap they accept anymore, or what? First their crappy old Dead Sea FAQ, and now a crappy Masamune one? WTF

[ZeaLitY]

Yeah, ZeldaDude is an embarassment to everyone. It is in essence some Japanese lady's site about Radical Dreamers chewed through an alta vista translator, not counting his crackpot theories.

[Leebot]

The tale of my fateful encounter with Zelda Dude:

[melodrama]Back when I was working on theorizing about CT and CC on the GameFAQs boards many, many years ago, when no one had yet formed any concrete theories, I ran into Zelda Dude (then known as i9999). He claimed to be working on some "ultimate" theories regarding Magus. In order to help him out (I was hoping he could come up with a good theory), I agreed to run this site through Alta Vista's translator for him. Neither of us knew any Japanese, so it was the best we could do. Why he didn't just do this himself, I'll never know. Instead of using what I supplied him to try to glean some extra information, he reproduced the crappy translation word for word in his FAQ, and added in a lot of his own theories that he had created before he knew anything about Radical Dreamers. After the finished product was posted to GameFAQs, I tried to complain to him to take my name off the credits list (I hardly deserve credit for running it through Alta Vista), but by then, he'd disappeared. Now only I remain to tell the tale. This is why, in his FAQ, you'll see me listed as a translator, along with an old e-mail address of mine. I apologize to the Chrono community for having assisted this madman, but those were difficult times, and I didn't know any better, then.[/melodrama]

In defense of GameFAQs, we must keep in mind that it's run by one person, CJayC. He neither has the time nor resources to verify the information in every FAQ. The best he can do is give a cursory examination to judge grammar/spelling and overall content. Particularly in the cases of translations and theories, it would be impossible for him to not let a few bad apples slip by.

[ZeaLitY]

Hah, I never knew. It's a shame he still isn't around so something could be done. I've voted down that FAQ, but i don't think someone like taht can get it removed.

[Symmetry]

My god.

I stopped reading halfway through the first paragraph. That was bad enough, thanks.

[Leebot]

My guess is he changed his e-mail address to get rid of all the hate mail. Unfortunately, this has also prevented me and a few others from contacting him in attempts to revise the FAQ (In one revision, I went through and corrected all the grammar in the AV translation. The FAQ would at least be somewhat readable that way, but I couldn't get ahold of him to get him to submit the revised version.)

You know, it may be possible to get it down on the grounds that it counts as copyright infringement. Moe Kotoi (the author of the site I translated) wasn't credited in the FAQ, and he never clarifies that it even was taken from someone's site. He put the whole thing in, which includes her commentary and summaries. According to international copyright law, a piece of work is automatically copyrighted when it is published in the public domain (such as on a website). Therefore, his use of her work without proper credit probably constitutes plagiarism.

[Symmetry]

Is it really worth the trouble to go tossing some kind of lawsuit over plagarism on the guy?

[V_Translanka]

We cannot allow stupidity to corrupt our youth! *heh heh*

Moe Kotoi should be e-mailed or something in the very least...That crap on GameFAQs should be removed on sheer principle, much less copyright infringment...

[Leebot]

I'm not saying we should sue him (we don't even know how to contact him). I'm saying that we could ask CJayC to take it down, since it's not an option to get him to change it.

The problem with contacting Ms. Kotoi is that (as far as I know) she doesn't speak English. If someone here speaks Japanese, that would be a good option.

[Lazarus Plus]

Wow. I thought I had heard wild theories in the past about this game, but that was just extreme. Very interesting, though.