Author Topic: A tip to writers  (Read 6293 times)

ZeaLitY

  • Entity
  • End of Timer (+10000)
  • *
  • Posts: 10795
  • Spring Breeze Dancin'
    • View Profile
    • My Compendium Staff Profile
A tip to writers
« on: December 08, 2006, 06:07:32 pm »
Don't write like this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3719/1/

Quote
This is my first story I’ve written. I hope you enjoy it...

The year is 1005. It has been 5 years since Crono and his friends went through time to stop Lavos. This is what happens after the destruction of Lavos...

"Crono! Crono! Where are you Crono?" "Marle! I told you not to bother me!" "Oh come on! The fireworks have started!" *BOOM* *BOOM* "Oh man." Crono leaves his house towards Guardia Forest. He is attacked by some monsters. Crono zaps them with a lightning bolt. "Man, these monsters are too easy." "Wait a minute! I thought all monsters were destroyed when Lavos fell." Crono spots a glowing portal in the center of the forest. "Oh man, I need to tell this to Marle." Crono heads towards his house. "Marle! Marle! I’ve got something to tell you!" "What is it Crono?" "You have to come with me to the forest. Bring Lucca with you." The trio heads towards Guardia Forest. "Look at that!" "It’s the biggest time gate I’ve ever seen!" "I wonder if Lavos was destroyed." "He was destroyed." "So where are all of these monsters coming from?" "That gate." "We have to enter the gate and see who or what is sending these monsters." "NO! We can’t just go through the gate. Who knows when we would end up." "So you want these monsters to keep coming?" "No." "Then let’s go!" The three go through the gate.

In the year 25,000 ad...

A gate opens up. Crono, Marle, and Lucca pop out. "When are we?" "And where are we?" "Luckily I invented a new machine that can tell us when and where we are." "Lucca, what would I do without you?" "Come on, check the machine." "Give me a second, I need a power source." The trio finds a power source. "The year is 25,000 ad. The place is The Temple of Lavos." "Lavos?" "I thought he was dead." "He is, remember?" "This is just a temple to Lavos." "Well only the Mystics belived Lavos was the ultimate power." "So then the Mystics built this place." "Look at that statue!" "It’s glowing." "Lucca, can that machine do anything else?" "It can tell what any substance is made of." "Well check that statue out." "This statue is made from the remains of Lavos’s shell." Crono touches the statue and is shocked. "Crono!" Crono is thrown out of the temple. "Where did Crono land?" "Let’s look outside." Marle and Lucca step outside to see Crono surrounded by a band of thieves. "Crono!" The thieves look up to see Marle and Lucca. The thieves start speaking another language. "Aiwoemnrnfuvjanwioeu." "Awoienjnviuiqjklqkjl?" The thieves run off dropping a glowing dagger. "Crono! Crono! Wake up Crono!" "Marle use Cure on him now!" "CURE!" Crono floats in the air as he is healed. "Oh man, that statue can take it out of you." "Crono, are you alright?" "I’m fine, but where is the Gate Key?" "The thieves must have taken it." "Lucca, check the machine and see if you can track them down." "The thieves have headed north to the Northern Truce Dome." "Truce Dome?" "Let’s go to Northern Truce Dome!" The trio winds up at Northern Truce Dome and hour later. Two stone golems step out of the ground. "We are here to stop intruders." "We must destroy you!"

*What will happen to Crono, Marle, and Lucca? Will they get the Gate Key back? Will they find out where all of the monsters are coming from? Find out in the next story.*

Romana

  • Springtime of Youth
  • Zurvan Surfer (+2500)
  • *
  • Posts: 2749
  • Fight the Future
    • View Profile
    • Tumblr
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2006, 06:41:09 pm »
:lee: Oh gawd. How awful. It's embarrassingly crap.

ZeaLitY

  • Entity
  • End of Timer (+10000)
  • *
  • Posts: 10795
  • Spring Breeze Dancin'
    • View Profile
    • My Compendium Staff Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2006, 06:41:42 pm »
Yeah, it's the oldest CT fanfiction on Fanfiction.net. Anyone who has submitted something there invariably digs that up. It's like a rite of passage to read that.

nightmare975

  • Architect of Kajar
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3263
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2006, 09:33:32 pm »
Lied, sorry. Just wanted to see your expressions.

Story sucks though. Seems like somethin I would write when I was 4 though.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2006, 09:51:53 pm by nightmare975 »

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2006, 05:04:15 am »
Hmph. I've written worse. Whoever wrote this is probably 10 or something like that, and I can tell you... the bit I wrote at that age wasn't stellar. My dinosaur-loving phase spawned 'Last of the Dinosaurs' - that would have been in '93... okay, so I wasn't quite 10 yet, but guess what influenced THAT? So, so bad. And it wasn't the worst. There were my stories about an inter-galactic trans-temporal adventurer (sort of a pan-heroic Sinbad) named Idiro. God, I can't believe I was actually proud of it back then.

Though, I must admit, the latter idea... well, it still resonates with me. Sounds stupid from just that, I know, but subtly there's something to be done with it. Just a few months ago I tried to write a space battle, and I used that guy as the basis... but I portrayed the ship-battles as sort of the combat between Homeric heroes. A bit odd, but only a bit of an experiment.

Anyway, true enough, there are bad things out there on ff.net. And I'm ashamed to say, my own CT fanfic is a bit... subpar. However, it's not just ff.net. Have you seen some of the things that get published? Just a while ago there was this book lauded - I read it just for the heck of it when my sister got it, and I think it was the last fantasy book I read - called Eragon, which was supposedly so great because a 19 year old kid had written it. Oh, boy. I tell you, if that fool's parents hadn't been publishers, it'd gone nowhere. There is a reason 19 year olds are almost never novelists - poets, occassionally, but novels require more age and experience. Talk about derivative and trite, and totally unoriginal for a fantasy book. And here's the kicker... they made a movie about it. And not just some made-for TV thing, but a bloody full-scale multi-million dollar movie with John Malkovitch and Jeremey Irons! Dammit, the kid can't even write (yet), and they make a movie? Ridiculous.

Anyway, yeah, long story short, there's a lot of bad stuff out there. And I'm always worried I'll contribute to it. Just today I read Aristotle's Poetics, and boy does it make me feel guilty, all his 'a story has to be based around a good plot' and how 'plot is pre-eminent' and... yeah. I'm not a plot-writer. I'm a theme and style writer. Okay, so my plot's not terrible. But it's not my focus, and old Aristotle was sure giving my writing a working over as I read him. 

4th Triforce piece

  • Guest
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2008, 04:27:25 pm »
The worst is when there are a lack of descriptions making characters seem to warp to key spots: like there is a time-gate or something.   In that story just posted.  What is Guardia like?  Is there new inventions? (After all 5 years with Lucca is plenty of time for new things to pop up)   How much older did the Trio Looked like.   What does the Temple look like.  Complety intact or kinda falling apart?  What did the scenery around the temple looked like? Etc. I could go on and on if there was more chapters.

 That work dosen't describe enough to me.   I think storys that skip straight to the action makes it stale and dead because it's all Rinse and spit. Yuck.   Sorry if this rant annoys you folks.

Delta Dragon

  • Creative Emeritus
  • Acacia Deva (+500)
  • *
  • Posts: 570
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2008, 01:55:47 am »
I don't really know what to think.  But yeah, I agree With 4th Triforce piece.  It needed a lot more description.  And I always hate it when in a story or fanfiction, they have this great piece of technology that can do almost anything.  It just seems lame when that happens.  I'll admit, I've seen a LOT worse than that.  If it had been written right, it could have been good.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 01:58:42 am by Delta Dragon »

x_XTacTX_x

  • CC:DBT Dream Team
  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2079
  • I got myself a Paper Clip.
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2008, 04:03:00 pm »
Good god almighty, it was just quotation after quotation. I couldn't tell who was saying what. Whoever wrote this obviousloy didn't do much research either, they have the whole story screwed up...


Well, it's noit as bad as this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/156682/1/Untitled_4_now


I hate when writers do that whole script thing, it makes them loook lazy. And even worse, when they cut in the actual text with something OOC or a smiley. Ugh...


I made the link link (all it needed was a space after the colon)...
                                                                       ~V_Translanka

« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 12:56:30 am by V_Translanka »

Kebrel

  • Springtime of Youth
  • Magical Dreamer (+1250)
  • *
  • Posts: 1333
  • नार्य काम संस्कृत
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2008, 08:59:52 pm »
I REFUSE TO COPY AND PASTE! please link.

FaustWolf

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • Arbiter (+8000)
  • *
  • Posts: 8972
  • Fan Power Advocate
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2008, 09:10:13 pm »
Scriptments can be quite beautiful when they're well-done. It's my personal favorite form of artistic expression -- gives the writer lots of flexibility to use as little or as much prose as he or she wishes. But I guess that factors into the whole laziness perception, lolz.

Delta Dragon

  • Creative Emeritus
  • Acacia Deva (+500)
  • *
  • Posts: 570
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2008, 04:04:29 am »
I've only written a few fanfics, but a couple of them have been in script format.  For instance I'm writing Chrono Cross one right now, and it makes it a lot less complicated with all of the characters.  I try to only do it when there are a whole bunch of characters.

FaustWolf

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • Arbiter (+8000)
  • *
  • Posts: 8972
  • Fan Power Advocate
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2008, 11:44:08 am »
Do you have the script hosted anywhere, Delta Dragon? I'd be interested in seeing it. We'll need script writers for the Chrono Cross project.

Delta Dragon

  • Creative Emeritus
  • Acacia Deva (+500)
  • *
  • Posts: 570
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #12 on: June 08, 2008, 01:21:41 pm »
I'm still writing it, and it's not all that close to being finished.  Well..ah whatever.  It's Serge playing through the game while all the other characters make fun of it.  At the moment, they're still at Viper manor the first time.

Wait, what Chrono cross project?
« Last Edit: June 18, 2008, 01:06:56 pm by Delta Dragon »

RoxSilverFox

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 399
  • Hey, do you think we should go get some pies?
    • View Profile
    • Silver Fox Games
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2008, 05:55:53 am »
Whoa, Geez this makes my writings look really good and I must say I thought I was the worst writer on the planet. This has given me hope :lol:

Delta Dragon

  • Creative Emeritus
  • Acacia Deva (+500)
  • *
  • Posts: 570
    • View Profile
Re: A tip to writers
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2008, 12:21:20 am »
I've started quite a few fan fics of various topics, but I've only finished two.  They're both Chrono trigger.  They are both written out, but they need to be checked over again.  One is actually a sequel to the other.  Once they're finished I'll probably post them.  They aren't that good, but I'm pretty sure they're better than this.  Also, especially the first one, is entirely silly.  The second one is too, but not as much.