Author Topic: A New Beginning  (Read 5256 times)

Paleontole

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2007, 12:35:14 am »
Just remember this. No matter If only a couple people read it. at least you know that theres a couple people out their that enjoy your writing. Thank you. (including, me)

Yeah, and also consider people don't always have the time/convenience to respond.


Possible advice: maybe give the reader a little more to chew for each chapter, even if that means taking more time than normal

Mavix

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #31 on: April 18, 2007, 03:05:09 pm »
Quote
maybe give the reader a little more to chew for each chapter, even if that means taking more time than normal

I agree.

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #32 on: May 14, 2007, 03:04:28 pm »
Chapter 9: The immortal Zealians

As they looked around, they noticed many towns around here that seem to have bloomed into glittering metropolis's. They looked in dismay at the size of technology. This was the technology of the Earthbound ones. It seemed amazing. Crono and party assumed that the Earthbound ones learned the secret of Zealian power, and started to study it further, leading to a great leap in technology. This was good, because Maxus just might have made a better future, but still, it wasn't the same era they had known. Crono had said he had missed the old homey towns, and now they were completely foreign to him.
      The vast expanse of futuristic cities was beneath them, sitting on a carpet of green, lush forests everywhere. Now they began to head for the most advanced continent of this era, Zeal. As they went skyward, they saw the palace, quite a bit more collossal then they last saw it, anti-grav vehicles everywhere. Frog widened his eyes with awe, as did everybody else.
     No...the civilzation of Zeal was FAR from being dead. In fact, it was making advancements every day. It was remarkable, an amazing sight for the grup of comrades. They had a LOT to discover before they ventured any further...

Mavix

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #33 on: May 15, 2007, 05:21:19 pm »
flying cars. soon there will be robotic dog walker's. lol.

justin3009

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #34 on: May 23, 2007, 04:53:03 pm »
I love it.  It's getting better and better each chapter.

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #35 on: May 31, 2007, 02:53:08 pm »
Chapter 10: The Shocking Fall

Chrono and company landed near the palace of Zeal, finding that it had grown immensely since the last time they had seen it, ages ago. As they walked up to the palace, they were overwhelmed by the abundance of the colossal building. They looked around in awe, and entered. As they walked through the corridors, they found the palace completely preserved, and that those healing springs were still in use. They walked down the corridor, and noticed Janus, looking very different now, but his smirk still intact. He didn't seem to recognize them, and he walked past. As they continued their walk down the golden corridor, they reached the throne room, due to the help of Marle's pendant. They kneeled before Queen Zeal and they smiled at them. She still looked young, apparently showing she was immortal. She said to them, Welcome...welcome to my kingdom. They got back on their feet after properly re-introducing themselves. the Queen looked at them, her face wise with a millenium. She stood up and led them to a banquet hall, where they sat and ate for the entire night. When they woke up. they found themselves in a royal bedroom. Shortly after they woke up, they heard an ominously familiar rumble. Maxus and co. thought to themselves (Thouh in different variations...), WHAT?! It can’t be. They looked outside, and noticed far down on the ground, a little blip rising from beneath the carpet of green. Maxus rushed everybody outside to the Epoch, and everybody boarded. They flew high above the Earh and Zeal and watched the beast. He had returned. They waited in anticipation. Then all of a sudden, it happened. Lasers of energy pierced te sky, and shot through Zeal. They could hear the people screaming from a thusand miles away. But it didn’t end there. After the initial beam, the continent started to blow up, occasional flames issuing from the continent. After the continent fell into the sea, they saw a gigantic tidal wave bury the land in water. But after the continents of Medina and Zenan were buried, Lavos let out another destructive salvo of lasers. The remaining continents that were on the surface were obliterated by the lasers, the true horror of a future destroyed...reborn. Maxus screamed loudly, waiting for Crono to start up the Epoch. He cried aloud as they warped out of the era, returning to an era when Lavos had not destroyed the earth again. Maxus’ nightmare...was not over.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2007, 04:30:02 pm by Lavodox »

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #36 on: May 31, 2007, 02:53:55 pm »
Oh yeah! What do ya think of that chapter?

justin3009

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #37 on: May 31, 2007, 04:58:17 pm »
er...You posted that 47 seconds after you posted the chapter.  You got to remember that the Compendium is a ghost town nowadays.  But I liked this chapter, although short in length it was still pretty good.

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #38 on: September 12, 2007, 06:23:05 pm »
Greetings everybody, I am officially back from my long hiatus. I am now ready to continue the epic saga of Maxus. So you may all sigh in relief if you are a big fan, and if not, come on and take a look at the story I'm making here, cuse I'm officially back in business!

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #39 on: September 25, 2007, 05:02:07 pm »
Chapter 11: The Unexpected Revival

Maxus was weeping horribly. His mistake in going to Zeal alone didn't work out as he had planned. He cursed himself for wanting to resurrect the great technology of Zeal. He remained silent after he had spent his tears, watching the time pass as they travel forward in time. Crono had changed his mind, and was curious as to how this might have affected the future of his world. So tey had traveled forward to see what exactly had been altered. He looked outside and said as he saw a bleak atmosphere, "We're here..."
    The crew had landed on the charred and black remains of Choras. They were right next to what used to be the tomb of Cyrus, Frog's old friend. As Maxus looked around, he beheld for the first time what would've been his future...in his timeline. He quietly stated, "Is this...our future...guys?" They quietly shook their heads no and reboarded the Epoch after Frog was done crying over the tomb of Cyrus.
    As they zoomed across, they noticed something they never expected to see...fresh grass...not black...but green. Everybody looked in confusion at it, but they dismissed it as nothing, since it was too far to tell. Though, ultimately, Crono decided to check it out. As they landed, they saw a large grey mountaintop, loking very ominous to those who had originally journeyed to face lavos...Death Peak...where the vile fiend had rose from the ground, causing magma to corrode around it, eventually creating this foul mountain, where Lavos Spawn would be born.
    As they looked up, they heard an awfully familiar voice, "The black wind...it howls so fiercely...even after 1300 years...it's still so strong, giving the people fear and despair." They quickly pivoted around to see Magus, his eyes closed and his arms crossed and on his chest. He opened his eyes and saw them staring at him. He said, "So...you escaped him did you? Must've been convenient for you to travel centuries forward to see the aftermath of his power."
     Marle stepped forward and said, "Magus...is that you?" He stepped forward and said, "My name is Janus, not Magus, and I've been living on Medina for 1300 years now, never aging, and cursed to live forever to see others live and die. After the beast destroyed Zeal, it caused a gigantic tidal wave which sunk Medina and Zenan to the ocean for over 1200 years. Then, one century ago, we began to see land rising out of the sea. Many people journeyed there to discover that this land was not destroyed. it was livable, as was Zenan. When we ventured over here, we found a whole city that was intact. actually...it was three. They were...Medina, Porre, and Truce."
    Marle seemed to be awestruck by these revelations and after a moment of silence said, "Let's head to Medina. We need to discover how everyone is faring who survived." Everybody unanimously agreed with her. Janus smiled and said, "Good...when we reach Medina, There's somebody I'd like you to meet."
    Marle said as everyone agreed, "Maxus...you take care of the Epoch...we'll meet you at Medina. Oh, and don't put a scratch on it, alright?"
Maxus smiled, "You've got it, Marle."
« Last Edit: October 02, 2007, 04:21:53 pm by Lavodox »

TheMage

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #40 on: September 30, 2007, 08:34:48 pm »
Oh my god. I love this fanfic!!!!!! It's Brilliant! cant wait until you write more!

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #41 on: October 02, 2007, 04:55:23 pm »
Chapter 12: The Headqurters of the SG

As Crono and the others walked across the plains of Medina, which were full of vitality and life, they began to approach a large dome, which towered over them, showing the power of people who died centuries ago. Janus floated to them and said, "Now, then...as a warning, the technology of today has given birth to non-organic evil. Be warned of one who calls himself "Johnny," for he is one evil being who plans to create a world of machinery...one where only robots rule. He is collaborating with the FATE supercomputer to achieve this goal. Now come, let us enter."
    Now that the talking was finished, before they proceeded through the entrance to Medina, Crono asked, "Why does he want a nation of steel, Janus? What will this solve?" Janus sighed and said, "I cannot tell you...ask the Guru of Reason to know your answer."
    Now Crono entered, along with the crew of six to accompany him. As he looked around, he saw gigantic beams that were supporting the large megalopolis of Medina. There were cars on roads, houses everywhere, everything on a sacle the party of six had never ever beheld in their lives.
    Crono had to say, "Wow! This is what a futuristic city looks like?" While Janus acted like this was completely normal. Janus led them to a taxi, which they slipped into. It must've been quite a crowd, with a prehistoric woman,a mage from the Dark Ages, a man from the middle ages, an inventor, a man with red hair, and a big clunky robot, all together in one large taxi.
    All the taxi driver had to say was, "Where may I take you today, folks?" Janus responded, "Hello, Frank...I'd like to take these people to The Leader." The taxi driver flashed a smile and said, "To HQ it is..." They sped off towards a hulking, collossal building, overlooking the other structures. As they approached, Ayla couldn't help but notice a man holding up a woman for her purse. She responded to this by saying, "That man like reptites, he very mean."
    Crono also noticed convenient stores throughout the city, though one particular store stuck out, called Oxxo. He examined it closely, when all of a sudden, a beam lit up the sky, right above the titanic building that was a few miles before them. Crono watched as a familiar Time Machine floated down into a little hole in the center of the top of the building. He smiled and said, "Looks like Maxus has it covered after all...not bad for a rookie member."
    Finally, they reached the parking lot of the HQ of the Silver Gunners. They parked in between two yellow lines and stopped. The taxi man said, "That'll be 500 G, please." Janus gave him a 500 G bill and headed inside along with all the other members of the crew. But before Crono did, he couldn't help but think...where would this new adventure lead him???

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #42 on: October 12, 2007, 02:12:30 pm »
Chapter 13: The Battle for the Scorched Lands

As Maxus landed, he looked down from the heavens to see a bustling city full of people going about their business. Maxus thought to himself, 'Hmm...looks interesting down there. Maybe I can explore later, if I have enough time.' He shut off the Epoch and opened the hatch, jumping out and closing it. He was greeted with a giant metallic gleam from the building he was in. He walked around in the brightness of the daylight, wondering where he should start with his tour, when all of a sudden, time froze, like it had when Maxus was coming back from Guardia's Millenial Fair. He gasped as his adrenalines kicked into action. He stood still, closing his eyes, until everything was normal again.
      But unlike last time, people seemed to notice it as well. But one nearby person said in reaction to Maxus's surprise, "Don't worry, son. It's only The Leader." Maxus was now certainly very curious about this "leader" individual that this man had mentioned, and assmed he must be up these stairs, so he walked up what seemed to be 90 flights of stairs, gasping in exhaustion before he finally noticed the elevator. He walked in, and pressed a button that said 110.
      Maxus waited anxiously, and reached the top floor, exiting out of the elevator. Strangely more quiet than the other floors, this one had a strange aura about it. He walked cautiously around the area, pivoting around from time to time. hen finally, he reached a significant looking door that surely led to the enigmatic man himself. He pushed on the door, only to have it open before his eyes. It creaked loudly as it slowly swung it's hinges open, and before him lay a man who was wearing a black cloak, similar to one Maxus had seen before. He gasped, his eyes widening. He exclaimed, "Y-you...no. This is all because of you. Everything that has happened is because of you!" He pointed at the man, and he simply chuckled.
      "Well...I had no choice. You are the only one who can lead us to The War. Your skills as a General would be immense. YOU are the only person who can establish the Kingdom of Dalton...MY Kingdom!!!!" The man now threw aside his cloak to reveal a man with Brown Captain Hook Curls, with a black and orange suit on. On his face, the details were more distinct. He had an eyepatch on his right eye. He smiled and said, "Who else could've made you meet the three brothers of the three Gurus, thereby unleashing a change so great upon Zeal, that it would change the Kingdom, no, the world, forever. Who else would hunger so much that he would send his robots to battle you at this very moment? Hahahahaha!"
      Maxus growled in anger, teleporting to the city, which was bustling with activity. Apparently, Dalton was not the leader. He would pay for his continued treachery! Maxus would make certain of that. Maxus ran across the city, asking people if they had seen a group of strange people. They all said they didn’t, but Maxus knew he would see them sooner or later.
     As He continued his search, he came across an odd store that was named Oxxo.
‘Odd name’, Maxus thought. He entered the store and walked to the counter, leaning forward and asking the person standing there, “Have you seen a couple of strange folks-” Then suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder. A shiver went up his spine, as he turned around swiftly. Crono, Marle, Ayla, Lucca, Robo, Frog,  and Janus stood before him. Maxus breathed a sigh of relief and walked them outside, telling them all that had occurred at Silver Gunner Headquarters.
    “So...it Dalton again? He no good. He a bad man.” Ayla remarked. Crono also had something to say, “If what you say is true, then he shouldn’t be far from the city. Perhaps we can warn The Leader about this impending danger. Come on, guys, we have some work to do.”

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #43 on: December 06, 2007, 01:43:15 pm »
I'm not finished yet. I'm not a wench!

Lavodox

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Re: A New Beginning
« Reply #44 on: January 02, 2008, 01:59:20 pm »
well...I'm afraid since nobody else is paying attention to this, I suppose it's time to close shop on this story. I'll give people two days o respond. Two days. If it's me, please tell me before the time has expired, or I'm locking this topic. Thank you. :)