Author Topic: Stuff you hate  (Read 166110 times)

jamesexia

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1680 on: August 27, 2012, 12:46:26 pm »
EDIT: Oh! I just saw you wanted to know how old she is. Well, first off, I'm 27. She's the same age as me. And the gal I'm engaged to is 24 next month. I don't know what she really wants from me. She said she doesn't even really know what she wants in a guy. She's hoping to find her soulmate, and that she'll know him when she lays eyes on him the first time.

Regarding the bolded part, are you talking about your friend, or your fianceé?

Also I'm confused by this:

She's hoping to find her soulmate, and that she'll know him when she lays eyes on him the first time. I don't really believe in that anymore.

When you said this in the "Stuff you love" thread:

:D Well, I've met a gal who openly admitted she loves me. I love her as well, and we're engaged. I know it's a bit sudden, but it was love at first sight.

So you...don't believe that you can know your soulmate at first sight, but you believe that you can fall in love at first sight?  Either I'm misunderstanding you, or you're contradicting yourself.  I realize "soulmate" and "love" are different things, but they both mean "hey I kinda want to be with you for a long time, if not for the rest of my life" so I fail to see the difference in this particular scenario.
Yeah, I didn't realize I had. Thanks for telling me. I meant my friend had said that about what you put in bold. But now she's become pretty clear on what she wants. She said she's been thinking for the past few days, and finally figure it out what she's wanting. I may call this engagement off though. My fiancee is in california right now where she's living, but she's asking me for $1000, and won't tell me why. I don't have that kind of money, and she won't take no for an answer. My family is thinking that even though we got to meet once, she's trying to scam me. I've been asking her about it, and she refuses to tell me what the money is for. She says it's nothing I need to be concerned with. I really don't know if I DO love her, because she keeps putting these doubts in my heart about whether she really wants to be with me or not. I think I let my emotions get the better of me, and that I haven't really thought out this whole thing. I've told her I need some time to think about all this, and she said she's okay with that, that she is having doubts as well. I don't know anything anymore, and I'm just going to wait and see what happens right now. I also just heard from my friend that she does have feelings for me, and that she wishes I wasn't engaged. I get along better with her anyway, because My fiancee won't tell me anything when we talk. I'm trying to get to know her better, and let her know me better as well, but she says she doesn't want to talk about herself at all. That, again, it's nothing I really need to know about. She's putting all these doubts in my heart right now, and I don't think I can truly love her with the way she's acting. She keeps expecting me to just blindly trust her on everything, no matter what that may be. I'm going to just stop talking to anyone for a while, and go think about what is going on in my life. I know this may confuse everyone even more, but that's nothing compared to how cunfused I am right now. :(

Mr Bekkler

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1681 on: August 27, 2012, 02:06:52 pm »
Asking for a thousand dollars and telling you it's none of your business why is totally a scam. Get out of that relationship quick! Or stay in but don't give her the money. People need to earn each others' trust, it doesn't come from nothing.

I'm no expert, but it sounds like the "friend" is more than a friend and could see that this engagement is bad for you. And I hate to say it, but some people (like your friend) just need a kick in the pants to realize they have feelings for someone.

Here's a really important question, and I want you to take it seriously. What (not who) do YOU want? Be specific. Write down your answer if you want, you don't even have to post it in this forum. Then look at the fiancee, and look at the friend, and see which qualities each of them have that you want in a soul mate. I bet you'll be surprised, and either your friend will be perfect for you or you'll realize neither is good enough for you nor do they have the qualities you're looking for. I could be wrong, like I said I'm no expert.

A small bit of advice: Don't get engaged unless you've been dating long enough to know the significant other's financial situation. One thing you don't want: "Surprise! Life-debt! Now we BOTH owe!" I won't say anything about physical attraction except make sure you can stand to look at her mug for the rest of your life. Engagement and marriage are serious business to me, I've been dating someone over a year and we're inching closer to her moving in but getting engaged and/or married is still WAY off. You can't rush it or you'll be miserable for sure.

tushantin

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1682 on: August 27, 2012, 03:22:12 pm »
Rare Shiny Tushantin spotted in the Compendium grasslands! What are your options: Fight, Bag, Run, Converse.

So you...don't believe that you can know your soulmate at first sight, but you believe that you can fall in love at first sight?  Either I'm misunderstanding you, or you're contradicting yourself.
Whatever we think he means, I think that "Love at first sight" and "Soul-mating" are different concepts, even though related. XD

I still would like to echo Bekkler's statement: "People need to earn each others' trust, it doesn't come from nothing."

*disappears from the convo again*

jamesexia

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1683 on: August 27, 2012, 03:46:22 pm »
Asking for a thousand dollars and telling you it's none of your business why is totally a scam. Get out of that relationship quick! Or stay in but don't give her the money. People need to earn each others' trust, it doesn't come from nothing.

I'm no expert, but it sounds like the "friend" is more than a friend and could see that this engagement is bad for you. And I hate to say it, but some people (like your friend) just need a kick in the pants to realize they have feelings for someone.

Here's a really important question, and I want you to take it seriously. What (not who) do YOU want? Be specific. Write down your answer if you want, you don't even have to post it in this forum. Then look at the fiancee, and look at the friend, and see which qualities each of them have that you want in a soul mate. I bet you'll be surprised, and either your friend will be perfect for you or you'll realize neither is good enough for you nor do they have the qualities you're looking for. I could be wrong, like I said I'm no expert.

A small bit of advice: Don't get engaged unless you've been dating long enough to know the significant other's financial situation. One thing you don't want: "Surprise! Life-debt! Now we BOTH owe!" I won't say anything about physical attraction except make sure you can stand to look at her mug for the rest of your life. Engagement and marriage are serious business to me, I've been dating someone over a year and we're inching closer to her moving in but getting engaged and/or married is still WAY off. You can't rush it or you'll be miserable for sure.
Mr. Bekkler, thank you. :) I realize now that I DID rush it, and I just told her that I'm calling it off. She got mad about it, and said that because I can't send the money, it just means I don't love her. Sooo, I guess I know where I stand with her now. My family said that I have made the right decision. That if she can't understand what I'm going through, then it won't work no matter what. I wrote down what I'm wanting in a spouse, and my friend seems to have many of the things I'm looking for. I can't go see her at this time, and I need some time to think for now. I'll go see her soon, but right now I don't have the money to do anything other than help some of my family with food.
Rare Shiny Tushantin spotted in the Compendium grasslands! What are your options: Fight, Bag, Run, Converse.

So you...don't believe that you can know your soulmate at first sight, but you believe that you can fall in love at first sight?  Either I'm misunderstanding you, or you're contradicting yourself.
Whatever we think he means, I think that "Love at first sight" and "Soul-mating" are different concepts, even though related. XD

I still would like to echo Bekkler's statement: "People need to earn each others' trust, it doesn't come from nothing."

*disappears from the convo again*
Yeah, that's the problem with the gal I thought I loved. She wanted me to just trust her blindly, and not question her. Oh well, I can't have this in my life right now, so like I said, I told her I'm calling it off. She can be mad all she wants, but things like this happen. I think she's looking for a fairy-tale relationship, and that has never worked in real life to my knowledge. Well, I won't be on here for a while, even though I'm not on that much as is. I'll post something at some point about how it's going I guess, but I think it's time to move onto something else. :wink:

Thought

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1684 on: August 28, 2012, 05:37:04 pm »
People not understanding Graeco-Roman centrism.

Look, just because Tacitus said that the Germans worshiped Hercules doesn't mean that they actually did. All that means is that the Roman's were jerks who didn't spend the effort to figure out what was really going on. And Greeks, you don't get off, either. We both know that Herodotus' story about Khnum being Zeus holding a ram's skin over his head is just lame. I have my eye on you.

Radical_Dreamer

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1685 on: September 01, 2012, 03:18:30 pm »
People not understanding Graeco-Roman centrism.

Look, just because Tacitus said that the Germans worshiped Hercules doesn't mean that they actually did. All that means is that the Roman's were jerks who didn't spend the effort to figure out what was really going on. And Greeks, you don't get off, either. We both know that Herodotus' story about Khnum being Zeus holding a ram's skin over his head is just lame. I have my eye on you.

All I hear is "Bar bar bar."

Lennis

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1686 on: September 01, 2012, 07:50:03 pm »
What do I hate?  Increasingly, it's modern gaming.

One week after I began playing the long awaited Guild Wars 2 - and it is a great game from what I have seen of it - I can no longer log on to the game.

Apparently some hackers thought it would be fun to raid databases from other games and using that information to illegally access GW2 accounts.  There is no evidence that my account has been so victimized.  Nevertheless, the hackers have created an issue that is affecting far more accounts than they have attempted to crack.  In response to the hackers, Arenanet has instituted an e-mail authentication system that immediately informs the user via e-mail when someone attempts to access the game/account from a different IP address.  In order for the user to access the account in this instance, they must click a link in an automatically sent e-mail.  In theory, this seems like a sensible course and only a minor inconvenience.  But what happens when you attempt to log on from the same computer you always have and it asks you for authentication anyway?  Just another minor inconvenience?  Sure, so long as you actually get the authentication e-mail and have a link to click.  What happens if you never get that e-mail?  That's right.  You're SCREWED!  (And yes, I have checked my junk folder many times just to be sure.)  You can't log on to the game.  You can't access your account information.  You are left with no choice to submit a ticket to support.

No big inconvenience, right?  Two minutes, and you're done.  Well... no.  You have to put your problem under a drop-down heading of the most common issues.  Not knowing how better to explain my issue, I selected "Blocked or Suspended Accounts" and put a more detailed description in, explaining that my account had not actually been suspended to my knowledge, I just wasn't getting the authentication e-mail.  That's five minutes' investment.  Now I just need to hit send and all is done, right?  Uh... wait?  I have to type in a captcha?  Okay...  Give me a captcha I can actually $%#&*&% read, and I would be happy to.  Okay, that's done.  The page then says "submitting".  Curiously, thirty minutes after I went through all this crap, it is still saying submitting.  More than likely, Arenanet has not gotten my message and probably never will.  Do I submit another ticket?  Do I risk making a double-post if my request did go through, and the page just didn't tell me?

So now what?  Do I just wait until after the holiday weekend and hope the developers resolve the issue on their own (it's a known issue according to their Twitter page,) or has my account now been permanently blocked unless I can contact them directly?  Is it even possible for me to send them a message?  They probably get hundreds of thousands of support tickets a day, and their official forum has not been brought online due to the enormous traffic on their servers.  Do I try calling them by phone?  I can imagine how THAT would go over.  *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*

Does anyone remember the time when whenever we had a problem with a game, we would just go back to EB and exchange it for another copy?   :picardno


FaustWolf

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1687 on: September 03, 2012, 09:57:08 pm »
Quote from: Lennis
Do I try calling them by phone?  I can imagine how THAT would go over.  *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Shit, since when did videogame support become like trying to deal with health insurance companies? Good luck there, Lennis.


I got one whiff of the syllabus for my second-to-last Master's degree course this week, and now I realize I'll have to give up solid progress on my pet project - fondly called "IT" - if I don't want to make a complete fool of myself in class. Ugh! I've spent so many years searching for the story I want to tell, and now that I've found it, "real life" things are usurping my attention. I'm finally beginning to understand the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I will make it through this year so I can get back to IT. I will. *Shakes fist mightily.*

Sajainta

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1688 on: September 04, 2012, 04:03:48 am »
Police and quack shrinks.

Excuse me while I vomit when I think of their complete ineptitude.

utunnels

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1689 on: September 04, 2012, 04:20:41 am »
Po.lice is censored here for some reason I won't bother to know.

Must laugh.

Katie Skyye

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1690 on: September 04, 2012, 04:57:32 am »
End of summer. Problems with my mom. Schedule nonsense shenanigans. Not being 21. Feeling like an idiot all the time. Not being in the Springtime of Youth at the moment, due to said problems. Ugh...

Sajainta

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1691 on: September 04, 2012, 07:14:38 am »
Po.lice is censored here for some reason I won't bother to know.

Must laugh.

Well it made me laugh.  XD

Thought

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1692 on: September 04, 2012, 02:35:36 pm »
... I've spent so many years searching for the story I want to tell, and now that I've found it, "real life" things are usurping my attention.

Truly? Forgive me if I am a little dubious as to this claim, but I suspect there is a little time you could still manage to work on IT. You have to eat meals, yes? Could those be working meals, during which you are writing stuff for IT? You have to take a shower/bath occasionally, yes? Can you be thinking about IT and plotting stuff out, so that when you have 5, or 10, or however many minutes you can scratch together, those will be damn productive minutes? Are there other hobbies that you can cut? Video games? Posting on forums?

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely horrible at this myself, and I fully acknowledge that sometimes people simply do not even have a few minutes to spare (I myself spent much of 2010-2011 that way). But, perhaps this is the perfect time to find out where you can cut the fat and develop good habits.

Well... I say "good" habits, but actually, people who succeed at these sort of things tend to usually have obsessive habits.

Lennis

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1693 on: September 05, 2012, 10:20:02 pm »
... I've spent so many years searching for the story I want to tell, and now that I've found it, "real life" things are usurping my attention.

Truly? Forgive me if I am a little dubious as to this claim, but I suspect there is a little time you could still manage to work on IT. You have to eat meals, yes? Could those be working meals, during which you are writing stuff for IT? You have to take a shower/bath occasionally, yes? Can you be thinking about IT and plotting stuff out, so that when you have 5, or 10, or however many minutes you can scratch together, those will be damn productive minutes? Are there other hobbies that you can cut? Video games? Posting on forums?

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely horrible at this myself, and I fully acknowledge that sometimes people simply do not even have a few minutes to spare (I myself spent much of 2010-2011 that way). But, perhaps this is the perfect time to find out where you can cut the fat and develop good habits.

Well... I say "good" habits, but actually, people who succeed at these sort of things tend to usually have obsessive habits.

In my experience, quality work is not something that can be done piecemeal, and I am operating under the assumption that Faust wants "IT" to be something of quality.  Certainly, I often think of my own story when I am at work.  Some of my best (and unexpectedly crazy) ideas came at work and I jotted them down on a notepad.  But there comes a time when you have to transform those story fragments into a solid narrative, and that is not something you can do 5 - 10 minutes at a time then drop it to deal with the next real-life obligation.  You need a solid block of time - on the order of hours - uninterrupted to make creative endeavors happen.  Personally, I sometimes need a solid block of time just to get into the right frame of mind to write effectively, and then I need a block of hours after that to actually work on the story.  Maybe there are some people out there who are great multi-taskers and awesome writers who can just create the entire narrative in their head and just copy it down as opportunity permits.  Mozart was like that.  I am not Mozart, and I'm willing to bet that no one else here is either, or even knows someone who is.  There is no substitute for time.  We have to somehow make the time we need by taking control of our lives rather than having life control us, as is so often the case in this modern era.

Thought

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Re: Stuff you hate
« Reply #1694 on: September 07, 2012, 04:03:29 pm »
In my experience, significant work can only be done piecemeal. I'd estimate it took George RR Martin around 600 hours of writing to produce Game of Throne: there's no way he did that in a single sitting. Further, I'd be buttons to bullion that it went through at least three drafts (probably closely to 6), each with a respectable break in between. We're looking at around a year and a half of full time work. Trying to mimic that only when you have large chunks of time just wont work.

The key to quality isn't having a huge chunk of time to work on things, but rather working on things consistently and going through multiple drafts. I'd be greatly surprised if there's a book on the market that had only one draft. Indeed, even just two would be incredibly amazing. This means, the first draft is going to be crap when compared to the final version. As such, there's little good in worrying about getting it absolutely right the first time. The biggest challenge, rather, is getting the thing hammered out and down on paper. THEN, when you know what you are working with, can you start crafting it into something of quality.

In short, now is not the time to worry about time, you don't have the time.

As for productivity, one of the best pieces of advice I've heard (once I was in a place to understand it) was that one has to treat writing like a job. You can't get by if you skirt off on your job's duties, and you can't get by if you skirt off on your writing. It doesn't matter if you feel like going to your normal job and working, you still do it. And it doesn't matter if you feel "in the mood" to write or not, you still sit down and write. If you treat it like a hobby, it will ever only be a hobby. If you treat it like a career, though, then you just might make it one.

But as I said, sometimes people simply don't have the time for even scrounging up a half hour here or 15 minutes there. I spent much of 2010-2011 in that state. I get it. But the sentiment here is finding every ounce of energy you can spare and putting that towards your project.

EDIT: I noticed that you indicated that you essentially have to write yourself into the story to really get going. A lot of writers are like that. However, if you write consistently (as in, every day at noon, sharp, you write for half an hour), you will be able to get into the story much faster. This takes time, though, to develop the needed "muscles" and habits. Furthermore, thinking about the story and what you want to accomplish that day really helps me hit the ground running. I don't have the narrative figured out, of course, but just knowing that "This character will be here, go there to meet with that other character, have a fight, banter, then run away" makes the days writing session go so much better (and it's easier to loose myself in it and write beyond my time limit, because then I am eager to get to the rest of what I planned for that day). When I'm not thinking about the story all day, then things really drag when I write.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2012, 05:19:49 pm by Thought »