Author Topic: fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^  (Read 5819 times)

Chronofan

  • Earthbound (+15)
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« on: August 20, 2005, 08:19:00 pm »
((i dont have a tittle but its about a boy named chu who ends up in the time of crono by the way im not good with punctions and stuff >_>))
Chapter1: The gate
Chu sighed looking at the clock school was taking longer then usual to end and Mrs Hunnigan wasnt making it any better. Chu jumped the bell rang he smiled happily and got his stuff "chu! wait" chu stoped and turned around his friend jenna came running at him jenna and chu had been really great friends for two years "oh hey jenna whats up?" "nothing much im just wondering if your still going camping with us?" "oooh yeah ummm i dont know.... you know i hate the woods" "awww come on besides maybe youl get some muscle with all the work you will be doing" "greaaaat.... well ill call you today and tell you if ill go ok?" "alright talk to you later then bye" jenna walked off chu walked outside and breathed the fresh air he really didnt want to go camping... but maybe it would be fun...right?
                                                   ***
Chu groaned as he carried wood on his back "im never ever going camping...AGAIN!" chu screamed as he triped on a rock "ouch ouch ouch!" chu growled and kicked the rock he picked the wood again and walked to the campsite "so how was it chu" "jenna if i survive from this evil experience i swear im going to take a rock and beat you with it..." "ummm looking at the dirt all over you im guessing you triped" "whatever look im going to take a scroll hopefully you dont need me to do another errand" "nope go ahead just come back quick we dont need you getting lost" chu walked down a small road he sighed kicking some rocks "my lifes been pretty boring camp isnt exacly a blast.." a weird noise startled chu he looked around "whos there! jenna if your playing a joke on me im going to kick your butt " chu saw a bright blue light he moved back his eyes widened as a weird circle of blue light opened he screamed as the gate pulled him in into an unknown place...
                                                   ***
Chu groaned and woke up he looked around "wh-where am i...." chu got up slowly he seemed to be in a field he saw a town nearby "maybe i can get help over there..." chu walked down the field and into the town people stared at him mysteriously chu realized this wasnt a town it was a carnival a pretty one to "oh great... now what am i gonna do im stuck in some place that seems to wear really old awful clothes" he walked up some stairs and saw a weird machine "wow whats that" "its luccas machine" chu looked to his shoulder a spiky red haired boy said "oh um hi who are you im chu" "hello im crono and lucca is one of my friends oh and this girl right next to me is marle" a beatiful blond ponytailed girl waved at chu "welcome to the guardia fair chu im guessing its your first time here!" "um you could say that" chu stared at lucca the purple haired girl with some weird clothes "oh come on anyone try our new invention! hey crono can you try it" "what!? um ...how about chu does it!" crono pointed to chu "whaaaaat! no way" "oh thanks boy i mean chu" it didnt matter lucca ended up dragging chu into the pod "nooooo let me out!" "ok daddy hes ready" luccas father pushed a swich chu stared down at his body as he disinigrated "oh no!" everything went dark and then back to normal again chu stared around he was on the other pod now" wow that felt weird...." marle stareted to jump excitely" oh oh i wanna try" "wow i never thought you would be with such a pretty girl crono" chu walked off and stood next to crono giggling "oh shut up lucca" "ok marle step on that pod" marle walked to the pod "ok dad push the swich" everyone stared at what was suppose to be the coolest thing every but soon it turned wrong a weird portal just like the one chu was sucked in opened everyone gasped as marles pendant dropped to the floor and she was sucking into the portal "marle!" crono and chu shouted the portal closed "ok everyone shows over!! out out!" the crowd of people booed and walked off "oh crono what are we gonna do i cant belive my invention did this" crono walked to the pod and grabed marles neckalace "crono your gonna go get marle? oh crono thanks!" "its no problem lucca ill bring her safe" "dont worry ill join you in a little bit" "wait!" lucca and crono stared at chu "what is it kid were in a hurry!" "crono can i come to? i would like to help you save marle" "chu it might be dangerous..." "i know but i really want to help please let me go" crono sighed "ok come on" "ok you two be careful dont mess with anything just find marle and get out if you mess with anything you might change time ok dad push the swich" chu and crono disinigrated and went flying into the portal once again everything went black... chu thought about what lucca said that would mean chu is in the past... what would he do to find a way back home?

Gaara

  • Porrean (+50)
  • *
  • Posts: 58
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2005, 11:12:32 pm »
Its intresting but needs lots of work and editing. other than that i give it a 6 out of 10. I'll keep in touch with it...

V_Translanka

  • Interim Global Moderator
  • Arbiter (+8000)
  • *
  • Posts: 8340
  • Destroyer of Worlds
    • View Profile
    • http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/v_translanka/
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2005, 06:03:33 am »
Whoa, yeah, before I'll even attempt to read this, I'll need you to go back through it, Chronofan, hit that Enter/Return key a few times and make some proper paragraphs for me...

Chronofan

  • Earthbound (+15)
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2005, 12:11:18 pm »
ok i think i might rewrite the whole first chapter do and try and fix it up a bit

Chronofan

  • Earthbound (+15)
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2005, 01:08:14 pm »
ok heres the new version

Prolouge: The Gate
Chu sighed thinking of what he could do for his summer break.  Chu's summer breaks were usually boring his family was poor and couldnt afford to go to many amusement parks.  The phone rang chu got off his bed and picked it up "hello?" he spoke softly into the speaker. "Hi chu i was wandering what are you doing this week?" a girl said through the phone

The girl was jenna one of chus best friends they stuck together thru rough times considering she was just as poor as chu.
"Nothing much jenna why whats up?"
"Well chu i was wondering if youd like to spend some time in the time hero reserve you know that place with the statues of those 3 kids...

ummm what was there name again"

"oh you mean crono lucca and marle?

"oh yeah them anyways so what do you say?"

"hmmm sounds like fun ok sure ill go"

"great! well i have to go just called you to ask bye"

Jenna hung up the phone chu fell back on his bed he wondered how it was like to be crono or marle or lucca did they have fun saving the world? Was it hard? chu's questions would soon be answered...
                                              ***
Chu couldnt stop staring at the statue of the three heros
"come on chu you cant stare at them forever"

"ok ok hey lets go see the wax figures of the monsters they fought!"

"hmmm ok lead the way chu"

chu walked down the hall it was quiet... very quiet
"chu i dont think where suppose to be here..."

"oh come on if we werent there would have been a sign saying keep out you stupid kids!"
Jenna laughed softly they continued down the hall finally reaching the wax figures chu suddenly stoped jenna bumped into him

"ouch why did you stop for?"

"dont you hear that?"

"hear what? all i hear is you..."

"i hear a weird sound i cant describe how it sounds like... its coming from over there"
Chu pointed to the fake woods which looked real to him he started to walk towards the woods he heard jenna whimpering the sound got louder and louder

"chu lets go please this is freaky and i dont think we should be here!"
Chu ignored jenna and moved some twigs there he saw a pretty ball of blue light

"wow chu thats so beatiful!"

"yeah it is..."
Jenna gasped as the ball of light got bigger chu's eyes widened he screamed as the ball of light swallowed him jenna tried to run to get help but she was also swallowed by the blue ball...

Chapter1 End

V_Translanka

  • Interim Global Moderator
  • Arbiter (+8000)
  • *
  • Posts: 8340
  • Destroyer of Worlds
    • View Profile
    • http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/v_translanka/
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2005, 06:14:01 pm »
Hm...Well, it still needs plenty of editing...Especially the phone conversation where it becomes unclear who's talking when (it seems as though they switch mid-conversation as you were writing it or something w/o telling the reader)...Besides these things, it seems ok...not a lot of description, but I could overlook this because it's just the prolouge...

DeweyisOverrated

  • Acacia Deva (+500)
  • *
  • Posts: 576
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2005, 06:41:53 pm »
Put a few markers in like "said Chu", etc every so often.  It's easy to forget who's talking.  Also, add in some narrative every few lines.  Tell us how they're talking.  Hastily, groaning, etc.  It's very difficut to tell a story ONLY through dialogue.

Gaara

  • Porrean (+50)
  • *
  • Posts: 58
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2005, 08:58:29 pm »
I agree, needs a lot of editing...

Daniel Krispin

  • Guest
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2005, 09:57:05 pm »
Quote from: DeweyisOverrated
Put a few markers in like "said Chu", etc every so often.  It's easy to forget who's talking.  Also, add in some narrative every few lines.  Tell us how they're talking.  Hastily, groaning, etc.  It's very difficut to tell a story ONLY through dialogue.


Yes and no. Narrative, to be sure, but one needn't say how they are talking. 'Said' works just fine, surprisingly, 80% of the time. Have you ever looked closely at Lord of the Rings? Tolkien uses 'said' about that percentage, and it seems to work. He also has a lot of dialogue, interspersed with a lot of description, but does not mingle the two overmuch. Few writers, however, are willing to allow their characters to ramble so long as his do, I suppose.

Chronofan

  • Earthbound (+15)
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #9 on: August 21, 2005, 10:17:51 pm »
((ok thanks ill try))
Chapter1: The Heros of the past
Chu woke up he layed in a pile of flowers he got up slowly he was very dirty his black hair was covered with dirt he smacked it off.  Chu saw that his clothes was also dirty he groaned he gazed around trying to figure out where he was then he noticed something jenna was missing!

"jenna! jenna are you here?" chu screamed quickly

He couldnt see jenna at all he saw some weird smoke coming from the north he decided to follow it and see if jenna might be there after a long walk he reached his destination. He looked for
a sign "Guardia Fair come on in and have some fun!" chu rubbed his chin

"guardia? what the hecks a guardia? oh wait thats the name of the fair.."

Chu walked into the fair to find it buzzing with joy and excitement it was beatiful he never saw a fair like this. He walked around seeing the kids playing fun carnival games. Chu wished he could play but he had to find a way home he didnt even know what time he was he decided to ask the red spiky haired boy that was next to a blond ponytail haired girl.

"um excuse me sir? i was wondering what time is this?"

"Oh um... oh yes its the year 1000AD"

Chus eyes widened in fear he felt himself breathing a bit harder how could that be that means he went 1005 years into the pass!

"are you sure about that sir...."

"um yeah im quite sure by the way my names crono whats yours?"

"im chu.... oh man i cant belive this i mus- wait.... what did you say your name was!"

"Um crono and the girl next to me is marle"

Marle waved gleefully at chu. Chu couldnt belive it the heros that destroyed lavos layed right in his eyes that means that


"they havent destroyed lavos yet... which means maybe.... i can actually go through what they went through" Chu said to himself joyfully

"hey where gonna go see luccas invention wanna come?" Crono said giving chu a cheerful smile

Chu could only nod 2 of the heros where here and soon he would meet the third the three teens made there way up some stone stairs walking past happy kids and happy adults there chu saw the teloportation pods that lucca had made

"So whos brave enough to step up and try my daughters invention!" said a middle aged man

"im guessing thats luccas father" chu said softly

"yeah his names taban" crono said staring at the invention

"wow crono why dont you try it if you do then ill try ok?" marle said smiling

"ok ill try it but you better keep that promise" crono said laughing

Crono raised his arm to volenteer lucca cheered and tackled crono into the pod

"ok crono get ready all this will do is teleport your body into the other pod " lucca said excited

Crono shuddered in fear but nodded

 "ok daddy push the swich!"

Tabban pushed the swich down and crono slowly started to disinigrate into a blue light that went flying into the other pod he reapeared again everyone cheered

"yay now i wanna try!" marle said jumping up and down

"hey crono whos the cutie? i never thought youd get someone that cute"

"oh shut up lucca"

Chu laughed marle ran up to the pod and jumped up and down

"ok go go go!" marle said jumping all over the place

"jeez she sure is excited...ok dad push the swich!" lucca yelled

Tabban pushed the swich again and the same thing happened except things got freaky from here marles pendant started to glow and a portal just like the one that sucked chu in sucked marle in!

"marle!" screamed chu lucca and crono

Marles pendant dropped to the ground and the portal closed once again...
Taban quickly started to shove everyone away  everyone booed but left

"lucca what happened!"tabban said

"it must have been her pendant! it affected the warpfield..." Lucca said

"great what are we gonna do now!" tabban said scolding at lucca

"i dont know but she seems so familier...."lucca said fixing her glasses

"lucca ill go get her back..." crono said walking towards the portal and grabbing the pendant

"oh crono your so brave good luck" said tabban

"wait crono! can i... can i come and help get marle!"

"sorry chu but it might be to dangerous i have to go alone"

"please i want to go!"

"sorry chu i cant endanger you your only a kid"

Chu through a fit and groaned lucca started talking to crono

"crono i dont know where this portal will take you but its our only hope ill follow you after i figure out what went wrong good luck crono"

Lucca flipped the swich and crono dissapierd into the blue ball chu sighed but then a idea popped into that little head of his

"maybe i can sneak in with lucca... as soon as she goes ill run in and then i can follow them and help save marle! perfect..."
                                                       ***
Chu hid behind some bushes and secretly followed lucca. Lucca lead him back to the fair but this time it was empty well duh it was very late.  Finally Lucca took out a weird key and the blue gate opened

"nows my chance..." Chu said as he started to run at the gate

Lucca turned around and saw chu she gasped as he jumped into the portal

"chu no!!!" lucca ran after him as they both dissapiered into the blue ball...
Chapter1 End

Gaara

  • Porrean (+50)
  • *
  • Posts: 58
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #10 on: August 21, 2005, 10:46:30 pm »
Its a good chapter but some things didn't make sense.
Quote
Chu could only nod 2 of the heros where here and soon he would meet the third the three teens made there way up some stone stairs walking past happy kids and happy adults there chu saw the teloportation pods that lucca had made


That was really hard to understand.

Kazuki

  • Temporal Warrior (+900)
  • *
  • Posts: 948
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2005, 01:33:29 am »
Quote from: Gaara
Its a good chapter but some things didn't make sense.
Quote
Chu could only nod 2 of the heros where here and soon he would meet the third the three teens made there way up some stone stairs walking past happy kids and happy adults there chu saw the teloportation pods that lucca had made


That was really hard to understand.


Yeah it took me a reread to figure out what you were saying. Edit, edit, edit!

Chronofan

  • Earthbound (+15)
  • *
  • Posts: 31
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2005, 08:13:26 am »
(oh wow sorry i need to proof read lol  heres chapter2))
Chapter2: Yakra The Evil Beast
Chu went flying out of the portal along with lucca he hit the ground groaning. He dusted himself off chu stared at lucca her face was red in anger. She started to walk towards him chu moved back lucca slaped chu accros the face.

"ouch why did you hit me for!" Chu said fuming

"because crono told you to stay here and yet you disobeyed him! now we have to take care of you and find marle!"Lucca sighed and started to walk away they seemed to be in a mountain chu followed closely but quietly he was to scared to say a word fearing that what he said would get him a slap from lucca

"where are we going anyways and what time is this..." Chu said softly

"where going to the guardia kingdom and i cant tell not atleast till i get out of this place" said lucca

Chu and lucca kept walking crossing a bridge when a loud noise made them stop

"lucca did you hear that...?

"yeah it sounded like a orc...."

Just then a bunch of little orcs came out of some bushes before they new it lucca and chu were surrounded they moved back

"lucca do something!"

"like what the only thing we could do is fight!"

"but i dont even have a weapon!"

lucca handed chu a knife chu stared and sighed wondering how he could use this without getting hit lucca took out her gun and started shooting at the orcs chu ran at the orc slashing wildly he managed to kill two orcs by slashing like a moron but as soon as he turned around an orc punched him right in the face chu looked dazed and almost fell back. In a fit of rage he threw the dagger at the orc hitting it right in the chest. Lucca stared at chu

"your pretty good for a kid"

"well your pretty good for a girl"

They walked past the dead bodies of the orcs and out of the mountain lucca stared around

"oh man... this place looks just like our hometown" said lucca staring at the whole field

"your right it does look like 1000Ad... but what time could we be in??"

"im not sure chu but i think we should ask and then head for guardia castle crono might be waiting for us there"

"ok lets head for that bar over there" said chu pointing to a small barhouse

Lucca and chu made there way inside the bar and started asking around lucca and chu where shocked to hear that they were in 600Ad.

"lucca... we just went 400 years into the past!"

"i know chu and i just realized something about marle!"

"what is it lucca?"

"chu... marle is the princess of guardia!! and from what ive heard queen lenne is missing which is marles decendent which means that if lenne dies marle dissapiers!"

Chus head was going around in circles lucca grabed chu and started heading for guardia castle
                                                 ***
Chu and lucca reached guardia castle they made there way to queen lennes room and there was crono

"crono wheres marle!" said lucca

"she disapiered....." crono said looking down

"crono marle is the princess of guardia! shes really known as princess nadia!"

"crono queen lenne is missing which means if we dont save her marle will cease to exist!"

"then we have to find here last i heard the queen was in a cathedral not far from here!" crono said raising his head

The three of them wasted no time they walked out of the castle and walked towards the cathedral from far it looked evil but chu ignored the thought and they walked in they stared around nuns sat quietly praying chu,lucca,and crono walked towards the chapel crono quickly noticed a shining pin

"look its the guardia crest!" lucca said

Just then the nuns stoped muttering there prayers and got up

"ooooo were in big troubleeee" chu said staring at the nuns as there skins fell apart

The nuns scrached there skin off to reveal there ugly fangs and tails they seemed like the little mermaid except you could say they where the evil snakelings the group moved back they were surrounded

"lucca i have an idea set my sword on fire..."

lucca stared at crono like he was insane crono stuck his sword out and started to spin faster and faster lucca took out her little flame thrower and put cronos sword on fire chu gasped as the fire became like a fire tornado disinigrating the snake girls.

"oh my god crono that was quick thinking and it was cool!" chu said

"wait... chu your suppose to be back home!" crono hissed

"crono.... i have to tell you something" Chu said

Just then a snake lady from above jumped down and slashed lucca to the ground

"Lucca!"crono and chu shouted in unison

Lucca closed her eyes and screamed then she realized she was alive infront of her was a frog holding a big sword

"...........F-F-Frog oh i hate frogs!" Lucca screamed

" I Have come to look for queen leene" the frog said

"Wow what a coincedence so have we!" chu said fasinated by the talking frog

"why dont you come along?" crono suggested

"It would be for the best the more people the easier it will be to get through here"the frog said

"i guess ill just have to deal with him" lucca said

"whats your name?" crono asked frog

"Frog will do..." Frog said

"Ok i suggest we  look around for clues!" Lucca said

The group started searching for anything mysterious just then a loud musical instrument startled chu crono started playing the weird instrument that chu forgot what was called.Just then a stone wall moved revealing a door

"wow crono you just scared 10 points on my scale" Chu said

"hehe thanks chu" Crono said

The group walked through the door the group jumped back as a couple of gargoyles jumped out at them

"look out!" Frog said

The group took out there weapons. Chu sighed wondering how long he would have to use this stupid dagger

"chu that measly dagger wont work here use my spare katana its not very good but itl get the job done" Crono said

Chu grabed it and thanked crono he ran at one of the gargoyles slashing it but it dodged each blow he got kicked in the stomach which knocked the breath out of him he recovered quickly and tried again this time he got slashed in the face a drip of blood driped down his face he growled and started to run really fast at the gargoyle he slashed in the middle of it and stoped the gargoyle broke in half and hit the floor

"wow i rock!" Chu said

Frog  jumped from wall to wall trying to make the gargoyle dizzy it quickly caught on and flew up and smacked frog to the ground frog angrily threw its tounge at it and draged him over frog did and upward slash sending the gargyole to the ground

Lucca jumped back dodgin the gargoyles kick but it finally caught up and kicked lucca into a wall she moaned softly and shook her head

"you stupid MONSTER Flametoss!"

Lucca used her flame thrower and shot flames at the gargoyle it screamed in pain and turned into ashses

Crono back fliped away trying to keep the gargoyle at bay he sent a wave that hit  the gargoyle and split it in two.

"ok guys weve spent enough time fighting lets go find leene" Crono said

It took the group a while to figure out that this place was full of puzzles they had lucca solve them and moved on finally into a weird chapel room there queen leene sat tied up.

"Leene!" Frog shouted

"frog help me!" leene said struggling to get free

"HAHAHAHA fools you will never get the queen free" ????? Said

"who the heck are you!" Chu said

"im Yakra the evil beast! and you will not get leene here alive!"

"oh my your very ugly..." Chu said

"WHY YOU LITTLE BRAT THATS IT YOUR GOING TO DIE HERE!" Yakra yelled

"greeeeeat chu you had to be honest didnt you!"Lucca said

"well im sooorry its not my fault hes so ugly!"Chu yelled

"here i shall cure your wounds"frog said

Frog started licking luccas faced and cronos they both shuddered frog went to lick chus face chu grabed his tounge

"i dont think so" Chu said

The gang took there weapons out and got ready chu ran at yakra but got hit by his needle spin attack crono and frog ran at yakra and slashed him at the same time yakra fell back lucca took out her flamethrower and started to burn yakra

"where winning!"Said chu

Yakra growled and started running fast tackling lucca,crono,chu and frog.Chu went flying into a wall he hit the ground crono just hit the floor but got back up frog went flying but jumped off the wall lucca managed to dodge on time.

"come on everyone all together attack hes almost dead!"

Lucca shot from affar as chu frog and crono ran at yakra they did a quick slash yakra growled in pain and started to blink he slowly dissapiered and died.

"few that was hard..." Chu said

"leene!"frog said as he untied her

"oh frog thank you so much and you two crono ,lucca, and chu"

With that the group headed to the castle hoping to find marle there...

"Im sorry queen leene i have dissapointed you i must leave this kingdom..." Frog said softly and walked away

The group frowned as frog walked away

"Come on guys lets go see if Marles back yet!" Chu said

Lucca, Crono, and chu walked to Queen leenes room it started to shine bright blue just then Marle Appeared!

"Princess Nadia!" Lucca shouted

"oh you guys saved me thank you s- oh.... you found out im the princess of guardia... oh boy im sorry guys i didnt mean to lie to you but... if was the princess would you guys still hang out with me..."

"off course we would marle" Crono Said

"ok i think we need to go home." Chu said

"Agreed weve spent enough time here off we go"

The four of them headed off to the mountain Lucca took out her gate key

"wow lucca your so smart!" Marle said

"Aint it the truth!" Replied lucca

Lucca opened the gate with the gate key and the group stepped in dissapiearing back to 1000AD.

"Ok crono why dont you take chu and marle home i have some stuff to do.

"ok lucca come on you guys"

The group started to head for guardia castle. Crono and chu would soon find out that a fair trial in guardia was hard to get...

Chapter2 End

((by the way im sorry i couldnt make frog the way he talks i wasnt to good with that))

Kazuki

  • Temporal Warrior (+900)
  • *
  • Posts: 948
    • View Profile
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2005, 12:12:52 pm »
Well, it's a lot more readable I commend you for that. There are run on sentences, like "Lucca sighed and started to walk away they seemed to be in a mountain chu followed closely but quietly he was to scared to say a word fearing that what he said would get him a slap from lucca"

That should have probably been two sentences, or at the very least separated by a semi colon.

It's a big improvement though =D.

V_Translanka

  • Interim Global Moderator
  • Arbiter (+8000)
  • *
  • Posts: 8340
  • Destroyer of Worlds
    • View Profile
    • http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/v_translanka/
fan fic i decided to make rate it please ^_^
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2005, 04:37:10 pm »
Quote from: DeweyisOverrated
Also, add in some narrative every few lines. Tell us how they're talking. Hastily, groaning, etc. It's very difficut to tell a story ONLY through dialogue.


What horrid advice, if I do say so myself...Using adverbs in such a manner is quite disasterous. Adverbs can seem like an easy-out, but they read awkward when used in that manner. If you can't tell how a character is speaking by the circumstances, what is said, what they are doing, don't fall back on a one-word adverb to cover up any blunders in simplified writing.