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1
Chrono / Gameplay Casual Discussion / Does Steam Punk Have An Influence On Lucca's Scientific Pursuits?
« on: February 13, 2011, 11:22:14 pm »I ask this question in light of recently observing (a little closer) about how almost all of Lucca's inventions, including her attire, seem to reflect the science fiction subgenre of steam punk. It's like a shoot off of cyber punk, but instead of computers and criminals, it's 19th century steam technology meets scientists.
So I was thinking, is Lucca really into steam punk technology? If so, wherein does the influence lie in the story?
2
Welcome / Birthday / Seeya! Forum / Wow... Has it been that long?
« on: January 23, 2011, 05:29:29 pm »Yoo Haloo!
Man, has it been a while. Four months is like an eternity on a message forum.
Oh, well. Time for me to make up for lost time, and I've got plenty of stuff to talk about.
3
Welcome / Birthday / Seeya! Forum / G1 returns from the Summit
« on: June 20, 2010, 05:12:05 pm »...and I'm back, Compendiumites!
It's been a while since I've made a post here, and for good reason:
I was spending my time becoming a budding writer at Cracked. Let me put one thing out on the table. They are highly selective and very meticulous about what gets put into pitching an article (important tip: you can't get by on dick jokes alone).
I've had a few ideas for articles, but right away, the veteran writers were able to clue me in right away as to what constitutes a good article: fact-based, interesting premise, and the occasional dick joke are makes a good Cracked article. This is coming from the horse's mouth (in this case, the colt's mouth).
Anyways, I'm still working on those articles, so now my time between forums is mounted higher in terms of my writing schedule (or the disorganization therein). Still, isn't that the trial by fire that makes one a better writer? I believe this to be so.
Other than that, nice to be back.
4
Fan Fiction / Chrono Trigger - by Dr. Seuss
« on: March 11, 2010, 07:10:03 pm »
I’m taking a hiatus from “The Real World – Chrono Trigger” for some time, and it’s not for the obvious reasons. It suffers from lack of reader love. *sniff, sniff*
Instead, I had a creative explosion in my right hemisphere one evening, and it was based off a simple, yet potentially comical, premise question:
What if Chrono Trigger wasn’t written by Masato Kato? Instead, what if it was written by…
This guy?
Here is the first chapter of the epic known as “Chrono Trigger – by Dr. Seuss.”
Chapter One: Crono Hits A Girl
Fireworks burst in the middle of the day,
The people of Truce were all happy and gay.
Truce Square was jammed packed. There was joy in the air.
It was the first day of the Millennial Fair.
Meanwhile, a teen boy, asnooze in his room,
Was all but aware that he slept in ‘til noon.
“Good Morning, Crono!” mother said with a shout,
She let sunlight in, but it made Crono pout.
At last, he relented and got out of bed,
He was tempted to nap, but ran downstairs instead.
His mother gave greetings, and said, “By the way,
Your inventor friend stopped by earlier today.
She invited you to test out her newest invention.”
Even though Crono had no such intention,
He got his allowance, and was bid a good day,
Crono dashed out the door, and went on his way.
The Fair was a knockin’ with distractions galore.
Crono was curious as to what was in store.
The contests, the foot race, the tents, and the wares;
So many choices and very few cares.
Crono headed north with a skip and a jam,
And it wasn’t long before he could BAM!!!
Crono collided with a girl his age,
And the impact sent them flying ‘cross the stage.
The recovery was quick, but the memory held strong.
The girl then said, “My pendant! It’s gone!
Please help me find it. It cannot be far.
Come on out, pendant, wherever you are.”
Crono pitched in, and it wasn’t too long,
Before he found the pendant right next to the lawn.
“Thank you, kind sir. I am a bit lost.
Can I tag along? I won’t be of cost.”
Crono obliged, and she jumped for joy.
“You are a true gentleman, and not just some boy!
My name is Marle. What shall I call you?”
Crono gave his full name. “Just Crono will do.”
“Now, lead on!” Marle said as to let Crono pass.
Crono was lucky to have picked up this lass.
They headed on back; Lucca’s gizmo could wait.
Crono thought to himself, “This day is too great.”
To be continued… (I hope)
Instead, I had a creative explosion in my right hemisphere one evening, and it was based off a simple, yet potentially comical, premise question:
What if Chrono Trigger wasn’t written by Masato Kato? Instead, what if it was written by…
This guy?
Here is the first chapter of the epic known as “Chrono Trigger – by Dr. Seuss.”
Chapter One: Crono Hits A Girl
Fireworks burst in the middle of the day,
The people of Truce were all happy and gay.
Truce Square was jammed packed. There was joy in the air.
It was the first day of the Millennial Fair.
Meanwhile, a teen boy, asnooze in his room,
Was all but aware that he slept in ‘til noon.
“Good Morning, Crono!” mother said with a shout,
She let sunlight in, but it made Crono pout.
At last, he relented and got out of bed,
He was tempted to nap, but ran downstairs instead.
His mother gave greetings, and said, “By the way,
Your inventor friend stopped by earlier today.
She invited you to test out her newest invention.”
Even though Crono had no such intention,
He got his allowance, and was bid a good day,
Crono dashed out the door, and went on his way.
The Fair was a knockin’ with distractions galore.
Crono was curious as to what was in store.
The contests, the foot race, the tents, and the wares;
So many choices and very few cares.
Crono headed north with a skip and a jam,
And it wasn’t long before he could BAM!!!
Crono collided with a girl his age,
And the impact sent them flying ‘cross the stage.
The recovery was quick, but the memory held strong.
The girl then said, “My pendant! It’s gone!
Please help me find it. It cannot be far.
Come on out, pendant, wherever you are.”
Crono pitched in, and it wasn’t too long,
Before he found the pendant right next to the lawn.
“Thank you, kind sir. I am a bit lost.
Can I tag along? I won’t be of cost.”
Crono obliged, and she jumped for joy.
“You are a true gentleman, and not just some boy!
My name is Marle. What shall I call you?”
Crono gave his full name. “Just Crono will do.”
“Now, lead on!” Marle said as to let Crono pass.
Crono was lucky to have picked up this lass.
They headed on back; Lucca’s gizmo could wait.
Crono thought to himself, “This day is too great.”
To be continued… (I hope)
5
General Discussion / The Top 100 Things I'd do if I Ever Became an Action Hero
« on: January 16, 2010, 05:06:25 am »
What started out as a little joke to me (and me only) has turned into this amazing list concerning the life of an action hero. I was inspired to make this list after reading another list titled “The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord”. If ever you get the chance, Google it and get a laugh out of the list. It’s dated back to the childhood of the internet, so you know it’s legitimate.
Anyways, this list was compiled as a result of years of experience watching movies and TV shows where the action hero in question, no matter how skillful and resourceful he or she is, makes the same mistakes or falls for the same traps over and over again. Sometimes, it’s not even the mistakes of the action hero, but the mistakes made by writers and production designers taken from long-standing conventions of the Action Genre that have since fallen (mostly) out of favor. As such, based on the aforementioned experience, I present to you…
The Top 100 Things I'd do if I Ever Became an Action Hero
1. I will have the courage to show my face, not hide behind a mask or make-up.
2. I will be born with a common, everyday name (e.g. Jacob Smith), not a fantastic name which my
enemies can easily identify (e.g. Dirty Harry). If this isn't the case, I will have my name legally changed.
3. I will have the common sense to wear a bulletproof vest to work.
4. As an addendum to the above, I will also wear an athletic cup.
5. I will always assume that my enemy has a decent aim with whatever weapon he or she possesses, whether it's at close range or long range.
6. If a fist fight is unavoidable, I will conduct it in public for eyewitness verification, not in a private setting like an alleyway or an apartment.
7. Shooting will be my last resort, not my first.
8. After I gun down an enemy, I will examine his vitalities to see if he's truly dead, not just walk away and assume that he's dead.
9. I will allow due process of law to punish my enemies, not my vigilante tactics.
10. I will not allow an unsupervised minor to accompany me in my work, for he or she would be a distraction and a risk factor in my mission.
11. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.
12. I will shred and destroy any and all documents revealing private information about me or my friends and family, because I wouldn’t want my enemies to guilt-trip me into their nasty schemes using said documents.
13. I will always carry a ready supply of surplus ammunition for my weapon of choice, because I will eventually have to reload.
14. I will always examine an enemy in custody to see if he is carrying a poison capsule or other instant-death item on his person so as to avoid revealing any compromising information before or during interrogation.
15. I will not dismiss any cuts, bruises, or wounds of any sort on my body, but have them treated in the swiftest and most appropriate by a licensed professional of the medical field.
16. I will have a GPS installed in my car with a pre-programmed radio station dedicated to local traffic reports.
17. I will always carry an extra container of gas in the trunk of my car.
18. I will not worry if a bad guy shoots at my gas tank or the extra container of gas while I'm in my car, because I know neither will explode.
19. I will never engage the enemy in a game of chicken, especially in my car, because I know exactly how it's going to end.
20. I will never try and disarm a ticking bomb I've never seen before, especially since no two ticking bombs are the same.
21. I will always own cars under seven thousand dollars, never an expensive luxury car or sports car, because that would suck if it got totaled.
22. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre, compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
23. I will be sure to never stray into any geographic area where there is terrible or no reception for my cell phone.
24. As an addendum to the above, I will always carry a back-up cell phone with a signal-enhancing device built right in.
25. I will not smoke or take drugs to ease my stress, because a healthy, muscular guy who smokes or takes drugs makes a bad role model.
26. If I must have someone accompany me on my mission, he or she must have equal or better martial arts ability, ingenuity, and/or marksmanship.
27. I will have highly various clothing in my closet, never the same outfit worn day after day.
28. I will have a steady income job and have my hero business be an extra.
29. I will never chase an enemy recklessly into a dangerous environment; e.g. steel mill, coal plant, subway tracks, and so on.
30. I will carry a disposable camera on my person so in case an enemy tries to pull a hit-and-run on me, I will snap a picture of the license plate for the DMV to trace.
31. I will resist the temptation to say a bad pun when a criminal dies in a specific context; e.g. He gets hit by a cement mixer– “Now, there’s a concrete solution.”
32. As an addendum to the above, I will resist the temptation to say a bad pun when a crime takes place in a specific context; e.g. someone’s pulling off a bank robbery– “I take it he wants to withdraw.”
33. As another addendum to the above, I will resist the temptation to say a bad pun when I inflict bodily harm to my opponent; e.g. “You like apples?” Kick to the groin. “How do you like them apples?”
34. As an addendum to the previous three, I will resist the temptation to use any and all one-liners.
35. I will always have my car regularly maintained. This way, the engine won’t turn over when I am about to engage in a car chase or escape from a dangerous situation.
36. I will never punch a window without covering my hand first. I could draw blood.
37. I will not fall for that “We’re not so different from each other” sound bite. There are plenty of differences between a villain and a hero.
38. I will not rely on gadgets that defy the laws of physics to get me out of a tight spot; my quick thinking and reflexes are all I have.
39. I will never enter a hostage situation against a group of armed terrorists alone. I will be accompanied by a well-armored squad of SWAT or ATF officers.
40. I will never try and escape being buried alive. There are too many factors affecting my escape. (Thickness of the coffin, earth density, oxygen amount, CO2 poisoning). The best solution is to not get into that situation in the first place.
41. I will never trust a car that doubles as an instant submarine. I’ll just rent some scuba gear and carry my necessities in a water-tight container.
42. I will never be coaxed into a fight with the enemy. I will bide my time and evaluate his strengths and weaknesses before making a move.
43. I will never dive underwater to protect myself from gunfire until I have evaluated what type of gun and ammo my enemy has, and even then I’m still taking a risk.
44. I will always have my parachute and my reserve chute properly folded into my backpack by a certified skydiver so that neither will tangle up on me when I am in freefall.
45. I will not yell at my enemy while in free fall. He won’t be able to hear me.
46. When tracing a phone call, I’ll only need two seconds, not a minute.
47. When I am sniping at my enemies, I will always have my back against a well-fortified wall for protection and so I won’t get hit from behind.
48. As an addendum to the above, I will always snipe in the shadows, so that way I won’t get a glint off my sight scope to give away my position.
49. I will never carry a personal copy of vital police information on my person or at home. I will leave it at the police station.
50. I will never enter a dark room that I’ve never previously entered before. If it’s absolutely necessary and there’s no light switch for me to use (or if there’s a blackout), I will carry a high-powered flashlight and a weapon just in case.
51. I will never tuck n’ roll to escape from a car that’s about to crash. The injuries I sustain will most likely be worse than if I were to hit the airbags.
52. I will always have proper insurance ready for my car in the event of it crashing, catching fire, or careening into a body of water. Hey, a guy’s gotta drive.
53. I will never fire a machine gun for more than two seconds at a time. It’ll most likely heat up to the point of a) being too hot to operate, or b) run out of ammunition sooner.
54. If I were to gain a sidekick or ally, I will have the foresight to run a background check as to whether he or she has worked with my enemy before.
55. I will never chase an enemy up a flight of stairs, because I know he’ll be luring me into a trap. I’ll take an elevator instead to throw him off.
56. I will never try to outrun an explosion. They’re much too fast. I’ll simply lie prone facing away from the explosion with my hands covering my neck.
57. I will never try and operate any class of vehicle that I am not registered to, because their controls would obviously be unfamiliar to me.
58. During a car chase, I will never drive through a random fruit stand. It would wreck my car, and the vendor will get mad at me for ruining his business.
59. I will always assume that the bed of a semi truck is too low for me to clear, even if I were driving a Lamborghini or a Convertible.
60. I won’t be so stupid as to hang from a helicopter leg with one hand or from a helicopter ladder. (Do they still have those?)
61. During a fist fight, I will never wipe off any blood from my cheek or lips. I want to maintain a mental edge over my opponent.
62. If I were to engage in a fist fight on a rooftop, I will always remain in the center, never near the edges where I might fall to my death.
63. In the event of my capture, I will swallow (or other means of disposing of) my real I.D. and have a fake I.D. on hand.
64. If I am bound by ropes, I will not try and burn through them. I could scald my hands, leaving them injured for future use.
65. I will never try and leap from building to building to chase down my enemy. That’s what fire escapes, parkour artists, and tomorrows are for.
66. I will not have an attractive female sidekick. Should I get stuck with one, I will require her to blunt her sexiness to eliminate any distractions for our mission.
67. Should it be required for progress in my mission, I will deliver false information to my enemy in the form of an anonymous source in a remote location at night.
68. If I get a phone call that my loved ones are being held for ransom, I will not lose my cool. I will instead get a trace on them by repeating said phone call at a police station.
69. Should my loved ones get involved with my enemy’s doings, I will require each of them to carry a pistol and learn basic to intermediate marksmanship.
70. As an addendum to the above, I will not start a family. They would make for easy hostages for my enemies.
71. I will carry a realistic prop grenade on my person in the event I am being ambushed en masse by a group of thugs.
72. In case the above fails, I will simply avoid dark alleyways on the way home from work.
73. If ever there were a significant social party at a hotel or someplace similar, I will ask the hotel manager to require a full body search of every entering guest in the event my enemy(s) decides to attend.
74. I will not try and outrace an oncoming train when chasing criminals by car. That is what tomorrows are for.
75. I will not try and slide under a closing garage door to chase my enemy. That’s what my car is for.
76. I will not allow my enemy the luxury of explaining his master plan.
77. Should I ever gain a partner, he or she will be the same age as me ±5 years.
78. As an addendum to the above, my partner will be as well equipped as I am.
79. If ever I’m walking, I’ll break any high speed camera that comes near me.
80. As an addendum to the above, I’ll break any high speed camera that comes near me while I’m emptying my ammo clip or connecting a punch or a kick while I’m in combat.
81. I’ll allow the FBI to help me with an investigation, because I’m not that arrogant.
82. I will fire a .45 caliber gun with two hands.
83. As an addendum to the above, I’ll never duel-wield .45 caliber hand guns.
84. I will never assume that infants and children are immune to mortal danger.
85. I will demand a promotion for saving the day, the world, the hostages, etc. from terrorists, criminals, my enemies, etc., especially after what I went through in order to accomplish such a colossal task.
86. I will never wield a gun sideways like a gang member to make a statement (or improve my recoil). That’s what training at a firing range is for.
87. I will never hide behind a flimsy barrier of any sort to shield myself from gunfire.
88. If ever my enemy was defeated, I would demand a high-profile government agency freeze his assets and confiscate his resources to prevent his return to power.
89. As an addendum to the above, the same will go for my other enemies in the event of their capture.
90. I will never make a verbal agreement with my enemy.
91. If the above is unavoidable, I will cross my fingers on it. A verbal agreement with my enemy is not worth the paper it’s written on.
92. I will never try and jump a gap or an opening ferry bridge during a car chase. Chances are I would crash and die. Besides, that’s what tomorrows are for.
93. I will never trust a map of my enemy’s hideout. It could very well be a trap.
94. If by any minuscule chance my partner turns out to be a double agent, I will have him arrested instantly without the convenience of him explaining himself.
95. As an addendum to the above, even if I do let him explain himself, it won’t erase the fact that he still betrayed me and put my life in jeopardy.
96. I will never allow my emotions to get in the way of my mission.
97. I will never steal a motorcycle or a car to chase my enemies down. I would be setting a bad example on the job.
98. I will own a police scanner, but only use it if I’m allowed to show up.
99. As an addendum to the above, I'll never use a police scanner to engage in personal crime fighting. That would make me a vigilante, which would cost me my job.
100. Finally, when I retire, I will keep all my records in a bank vault along with my assets, never at home where my enemies would easily break into and steal them.
More things I would do if I ever became an Action Hero
101. I will train as a marathon runner whenever I had the free time.
102. I will improve the reloading speed on my most commonly used gun.
103. If I’m ever at the police station, I will portray myself as an upbeat person instead of a world-weary hero dripping with swagger.
104. I will never jump off a roof into a trash bin below. I don’t know what materials are in it, so I could very well hurt myself from the impact.
105. In my spare time, I will watch how-to videos on escaping from hand-cuffs and thick ropes.
Comment away! Heck, quote one (or more) and critique or appraise however you like. This list could use improvement.
Also, feel free to add to the list based on your experience with action heroes as they are currently depicted in popular culture. If it’s really good, it’ll go into the extended list because the Top 100 List is already full.
Hope you enjoyed it. I sure did while making it!
Anyways, this list was compiled as a result of years of experience watching movies and TV shows where the action hero in question, no matter how skillful and resourceful he or she is, makes the same mistakes or falls for the same traps over and over again. Sometimes, it’s not even the mistakes of the action hero, but the mistakes made by writers and production designers taken from long-standing conventions of the Action Genre that have since fallen (mostly) out of favor. As such, based on the aforementioned experience, I present to you…
The Top 100 Things I'd do if I Ever Became an Action Hero
1. I will have the courage to show my face, not hide behind a mask or make-up.
2. I will be born with a common, everyday name (e.g. Jacob Smith), not a fantastic name which my
enemies can easily identify (e.g. Dirty Harry). If this isn't the case, I will have my name legally changed.
3. I will have the common sense to wear a bulletproof vest to work.
4. As an addendum to the above, I will also wear an athletic cup.
5. I will always assume that my enemy has a decent aim with whatever weapon he or she possesses, whether it's at close range or long range.
6. If a fist fight is unavoidable, I will conduct it in public for eyewitness verification, not in a private setting like an alleyway or an apartment.
7. Shooting will be my last resort, not my first.
8. After I gun down an enemy, I will examine his vitalities to see if he's truly dead, not just walk away and assume that he's dead.
9. I will allow due process of law to punish my enemies, not my vigilante tactics.
10. I will not allow an unsupervised minor to accompany me in my work, for he or she would be a distraction and a risk factor in my mission.
11. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.
12. I will shred and destroy any and all documents revealing private information about me or my friends and family, because I wouldn’t want my enemies to guilt-trip me into their nasty schemes using said documents.
13. I will always carry a ready supply of surplus ammunition for my weapon of choice, because I will eventually have to reload.
14. I will always examine an enemy in custody to see if he is carrying a poison capsule or other instant-death item on his person so as to avoid revealing any compromising information before or during interrogation.
15. I will not dismiss any cuts, bruises, or wounds of any sort on my body, but have them treated in the swiftest and most appropriate by a licensed professional of the medical field.
16. I will have a GPS installed in my car with a pre-programmed radio station dedicated to local traffic reports.
17. I will always carry an extra container of gas in the trunk of my car.
18. I will not worry if a bad guy shoots at my gas tank or the extra container of gas while I'm in my car, because I know neither will explode.
19. I will never engage the enemy in a game of chicken, especially in my car, because I know exactly how it's going to end.
20. I will never try and disarm a ticking bomb I've never seen before, especially since no two ticking bombs are the same.
21. I will always own cars under seven thousand dollars, never an expensive luxury car or sports car, because that would suck if it got totaled.
22. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre, compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
23. I will be sure to never stray into any geographic area where there is terrible or no reception for my cell phone.
24. As an addendum to the above, I will always carry a back-up cell phone with a signal-enhancing device built right in.
25. I will not smoke or take drugs to ease my stress, because a healthy, muscular guy who smokes or takes drugs makes a bad role model.
26. If I must have someone accompany me on my mission, he or she must have equal or better martial arts ability, ingenuity, and/or marksmanship.
27. I will have highly various clothing in my closet, never the same outfit worn day after day.
28. I will have a steady income job and have my hero business be an extra.
29. I will never chase an enemy recklessly into a dangerous environment; e.g. steel mill, coal plant, subway tracks, and so on.
30. I will carry a disposable camera on my person so in case an enemy tries to pull a hit-and-run on me, I will snap a picture of the license plate for the DMV to trace.
31. I will resist the temptation to say a bad pun when a criminal dies in a specific context; e.g. He gets hit by a cement mixer– “Now, there’s a concrete solution.”
32. As an addendum to the above, I will resist the temptation to say a bad pun when a crime takes place in a specific context; e.g. someone’s pulling off a bank robbery– “I take it he wants to withdraw.”
33. As another addendum to the above, I will resist the temptation to say a bad pun when I inflict bodily harm to my opponent; e.g. “You like apples?” Kick to the groin. “How do you like them apples?”
34. As an addendum to the previous three, I will resist the temptation to use any and all one-liners.
35. I will always have my car regularly maintained. This way, the engine won’t turn over when I am about to engage in a car chase or escape from a dangerous situation.
36. I will never punch a window without covering my hand first. I could draw blood.
37. I will not fall for that “We’re not so different from each other” sound bite. There are plenty of differences between a villain and a hero.
38. I will not rely on gadgets that defy the laws of physics to get me out of a tight spot; my quick thinking and reflexes are all I have.
39. I will never enter a hostage situation against a group of armed terrorists alone. I will be accompanied by a well-armored squad of SWAT or ATF officers.
40. I will never try and escape being buried alive. There are too many factors affecting my escape. (Thickness of the coffin, earth density, oxygen amount, CO2 poisoning). The best solution is to not get into that situation in the first place.
41. I will never trust a car that doubles as an instant submarine. I’ll just rent some scuba gear and carry my necessities in a water-tight container.
42. I will never be coaxed into a fight with the enemy. I will bide my time and evaluate his strengths and weaknesses before making a move.
43. I will never dive underwater to protect myself from gunfire until I have evaluated what type of gun and ammo my enemy has, and even then I’m still taking a risk.
44. I will always have my parachute and my reserve chute properly folded into my backpack by a certified skydiver so that neither will tangle up on me when I am in freefall.
45. I will not yell at my enemy while in free fall. He won’t be able to hear me.
46. When tracing a phone call, I’ll only need two seconds, not a minute.
47. When I am sniping at my enemies, I will always have my back against a well-fortified wall for protection and so I won’t get hit from behind.
48. As an addendum to the above, I will always snipe in the shadows, so that way I won’t get a glint off my sight scope to give away my position.
49. I will never carry a personal copy of vital police information on my person or at home. I will leave it at the police station.
50. I will never enter a dark room that I’ve never previously entered before. If it’s absolutely necessary and there’s no light switch for me to use (or if there’s a blackout), I will carry a high-powered flashlight and a weapon just in case.
51. I will never tuck n’ roll to escape from a car that’s about to crash. The injuries I sustain will most likely be worse than if I were to hit the airbags.
52. I will always have proper insurance ready for my car in the event of it crashing, catching fire, or careening into a body of water. Hey, a guy’s gotta drive.
53. I will never fire a machine gun for more than two seconds at a time. It’ll most likely heat up to the point of a) being too hot to operate, or b) run out of ammunition sooner.
54. If I were to gain a sidekick or ally, I will have the foresight to run a background check as to whether he or she has worked with my enemy before.
55. I will never chase an enemy up a flight of stairs, because I know he’ll be luring me into a trap. I’ll take an elevator instead to throw him off.
56. I will never try to outrun an explosion. They’re much too fast. I’ll simply lie prone facing away from the explosion with my hands covering my neck.
57. I will never try and operate any class of vehicle that I am not registered to, because their controls would obviously be unfamiliar to me.
58. During a car chase, I will never drive through a random fruit stand. It would wreck my car, and the vendor will get mad at me for ruining his business.
59. I will always assume that the bed of a semi truck is too low for me to clear, even if I were driving a Lamborghini or a Convertible.
60. I won’t be so stupid as to hang from a helicopter leg with one hand or from a helicopter ladder. (Do they still have those?)
61. During a fist fight, I will never wipe off any blood from my cheek or lips. I want to maintain a mental edge over my opponent.
62. If I were to engage in a fist fight on a rooftop, I will always remain in the center, never near the edges where I might fall to my death.
63. In the event of my capture, I will swallow (or other means of disposing of) my real I.D. and have a fake I.D. on hand.
64. If I am bound by ropes, I will not try and burn through them. I could scald my hands, leaving them injured for future use.
65. I will never try and leap from building to building to chase down my enemy. That’s what fire escapes, parkour artists, and tomorrows are for.
66. I will not have an attractive female sidekick. Should I get stuck with one, I will require her to blunt her sexiness to eliminate any distractions for our mission.
67. Should it be required for progress in my mission, I will deliver false information to my enemy in the form of an anonymous source in a remote location at night.
68. If I get a phone call that my loved ones are being held for ransom, I will not lose my cool. I will instead get a trace on them by repeating said phone call at a police station.
69. Should my loved ones get involved with my enemy’s doings, I will require each of them to carry a pistol and learn basic to intermediate marksmanship.
70. As an addendum to the above, I will not start a family. They would make for easy hostages for my enemies.
71. I will carry a realistic prop grenade on my person in the event I am being ambushed en masse by a group of thugs.
72. In case the above fails, I will simply avoid dark alleyways on the way home from work.
73. If ever there were a significant social party at a hotel or someplace similar, I will ask the hotel manager to require a full body search of every entering guest in the event my enemy(s) decides to attend.
74. I will not try and outrace an oncoming train when chasing criminals by car. That is what tomorrows are for.
75. I will not try and slide under a closing garage door to chase my enemy. That’s what my car is for.
76. I will not allow my enemy the luxury of explaining his master plan.
77. Should I ever gain a partner, he or she will be the same age as me ±5 years.
78. As an addendum to the above, my partner will be as well equipped as I am.
79. If ever I’m walking, I’ll break any high speed camera that comes near me.
80. As an addendum to the above, I’ll break any high speed camera that comes near me while I’m emptying my ammo clip or connecting a punch or a kick while I’m in combat.
81. I’ll allow the FBI to help me with an investigation, because I’m not that arrogant.
82. I will fire a .45 caliber gun with two hands.
83. As an addendum to the above, I’ll never duel-wield .45 caliber hand guns.
84. I will never assume that infants and children are immune to mortal danger.
85. I will demand a promotion for saving the day, the world, the hostages, etc. from terrorists, criminals, my enemies, etc., especially after what I went through in order to accomplish such a colossal task.
86. I will never wield a gun sideways like a gang member to make a statement (or improve my recoil). That’s what training at a firing range is for.
87. I will never hide behind a flimsy barrier of any sort to shield myself from gunfire.
88. If ever my enemy was defeated, I would demand a high-profile government agency freeze his assets and confiscate his resources to prevent his return to power.
89. As an addendum to the above, the same will go for my other enemies in the event of their capture.
90. I will never make a verbal agreement with my enemy.
91. If the above is unavoidable, I will cross my fingers on it. A verbal agreement with my enemy is not worth the paper it’s written on.
92. I will never try and jump a gap or an opening ferry bridge during a car chase. Chances are I would crash and die. Besides, that’s what tomorrows are for.
93. I will never trust a map of my enemy’s hideout. It could very well be a trap.
94. If by any minuscule chance my partner turns out to be a double agent, I will have him arrested instantly without the convenience of him explaining himself.
95. As an addendum to the above, even if I do let him explain himself, it won’t erase the fact that he still betrayed me and put my life in jeopardy.
96. I will never allow my emotions to get in the way of my mission.
97. I will never steal a motorcycle or a car to chase my enemies down. I would be setting a bad example on the job.
98. I will own a police scanner, but only use it if I’m allowed to show up.
99. As an addendum to the above, I'll never use a police scanner to engage in personal crime fighting. That would make me a vigilante, which would cost me my job.
100. Finally, when I retire, I will keep all my records in a bank vault along with my assets, never at home where my enemies would easily break into and steal them.
More things I would do if I ever became an Action Hero
101. I will train as a marathon runner whenever I had the free time.
102. I will improve the reloading speed on my most commonly used gun.
103. If I’m ever at the police station, I will portray myself as an upbeat person instead of a world-weary hero dripping with swagger.
104. I will never jump off a roof into a trash bin below. I don’t know what materials are in it, so I could very well hurt myself from the impact.
105. In my spare time, I will watch how-to videos on escaping from hand-cuffs and thick ropes.
Comment away! Heck, quote one (or more) and critique or appraise however you like. This list could use improvement.
Also, feel free to add to the list based on your experience with action heroes as they are currently depicted in popular culture. If it’s really good, it’ll go into the extended list because the Top 100 List is already full.
Hope you enjoyed it. I sure did while making it!
6
General Discussion / Favorite Quotes from The Time Machine
« on: December 16, 2009, 07:33:19 pm »
Like an alumni on this forum, I too have a favorite character in classic literature that, despite his fictitious state, inspired me to do better in creative writing, the pursuit of knowledge, and life in general.
It’s the Time Traveler from my all-time favorite Science Fiction novel: The Time Machine.
The primary characteristic of this man is undoubtedly his brilliance. He is exquisitely intelligent and it shows throughout the story. Even when he is seemingly lost in his own world, he remains on his toes and logical. It’s a very realistic portrayal of a man that would be clever enough to design and construct such a device as a time machine, so I’d have to say there was little, if any, exaggeration involved. His character was revealed purely through dialogue since he was revealing his whole journey throughout the book. However, within this dialogue, there were descriptions of himself and accounts of his actions. I suppose it could be stated that it was a combination of all three, though I maintain that since the descriptions and such were spoken, dialogue was the primary tool used.
I absolutely loved the character that I came to understand! He was very compassionate towards the Eloi and had a very human amount of hatred for the Morlocks. I also liked the way he conveyed his prediction of doubt from his colleagues. All of this made him a very genuine guy. As far as I could tell, there was virtually nothing wrong with his disposition. The only way the Time Traveler changed throughout the story was in his knowledge of the future of mankind. This knowledge, I believe, made him more prepared and confident in his own time and place. However, he needed not be confident, for in the end, he didn’t stay in his own place for long.
In an era where great men of science were satisfied in their studies and their understanding of the mechanics and nuances world ("There is no difference between Time and any of the three dimensions of Space except that our consciousness moves along it."), the Time Traveler, in all his cumulative knowledge and understanding of these dimensions heightened above his colleagues, proved them wrong and demonstrated to them that time was a dimension that could be moved along physically, not just consciously or emotionally. He was unsatisfied with the lax attitude toward educating future generations what was already taught and acting as though yesterday’s methods would solve today’s problems. He literally took his ideals into the next dimension, and that in turn, fulfilled his desire both as a scientist, a philosopher, and a curious mind.
Some of my favorite quotes:
It’s the Time Traveler from my all-time favorite Science Fiction novel: The Time Machine.
The primary characteristic of this man is undoubtedly his brilliance. He is exquisitely intelligent and it shows throughout the story. Even when he is seemingly lost in his own world, he remains on his toes and logical. It’s a very realistic portrayal of a man that would be clever enough to design and construct such a device as a time machine, so I’d have to say there was little, if any, exaggeration involved. His character was revealed purely through dialogue since he was revealing his whole journey throughout the book. However, within this dialogue, there were descriptions of himself and accounts of his actions. I suppose it could be stated that it was a combination of all three, though I maintain that since the descriptions and such were spoken, dialogue was the primary tool used.
I absolutely loved the character that I came to understand! He was very compassionate towards the Eloi and had a very human amount of hatred for the Morlocks. I also liked the way he conveyed his prediction of doubt from his colleagues. All of this made him a very genuine guy. As far as I could tell, there was virtually nothing wrong with his disposition. The only way the Time Traveler changed throughout the story was in his knowledge of the future of mankind. This knowledge, I believe, made him more prepared and confident in his own time and place. However, he needed not be confident, for in the end, he didn’t stay in his own place for long.
In an era where great men of science were satisfied in their studies and their understanding of the mechanics and nuances world ("There is no difference between Time and any of the three dimensions of Space except that our consciousness moves along it."), the Time Traveler, in all his cumulative knowledge and understanding of these dimensions heightened above his colleagues, proved them wrong and demonstrated to them that time was a dimension that could be moved along physically, not just consciously or emotionally. He was unsatisfied with the lax attitude toward educating future generations what was already taught and acting as though yesterday’s methods would solve today’s problems. He literally took his ideals into the next dimension, and that in turn, fulfilled his desire both as a scientist, a philosopher, and a curious mind.
Some of my favorite quotes:
Quote from: The Time Machine (Novel)
“Very simple was my explanation, and plausible enough - as most wrong theories are!”
“Nature never appeals to intelligence until habit and instinct are useless. There is no intelligence where there is no change and no need of change.”
“Strength is the outcome of need.”
“Hardship and freedom: conditions under which the active, strong, and subtle survive and the weaker go to the wall.”
“Physical courage and the love of battle ... are no great help--may even be hindrances--to a civilized man.”
“This has ever been the fate of energy in security; it takes to art and to eroticism, and then come languor and decay.”
“It is a law of nature we overlook, that intellectual versatility is the compensation for change, danger, and trouble.”
“…even when mind and strength had gone, gratitude and a mutual tenderness still lived on in the heart of man.”
Quote from: The Time Machine (1960 film)
“Man's past – is mainly a grim struggle for survival. But there have been moments, when a few voices have spoken up...”
“What have you done? Thousands of years of building and rebuilding, creating and recreating so you could let it crumble to dust. A million years of sensitive men dying for their dreams, for what? So you can swim, and dance, and play... You, all of you, I'm going back to my own time; I won't even bother to tell of the useless struggle and their hopeless future, but at least I can die among men!”
7
Welcome / Birthday / Seeya! Forum / Happy B-Day to Moi!
« on: November 03, 2009, 01:20:11 pm »Well, it snuck up on me, and...
Actually, I was looking forward to it. I'm now one year closer to death.
Can you imagine what it would be like if we started an Un-Birthday Forum? It would be flooded.
8
Prior Contest Archive / Crimson Echoes on the 'Net
« on: October 28, 2009, 01:26:14 am »
Ever since I say that little ditty by Thought (How the Enix Stole Christmas), it inspired me to write my own. Actually, like Thought, it’s more like I heavily borrowed it from another famous poem. Still, I found it fun to write, and I hope you find it fun to read. Enjoy.
P.S. I am submitting this formally for the Winter Fragments contest, if it’s not too early.
“Crimson Echoes on the ‘Net”
* * * * * *
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for Kajar Labs that day
The programming was almost done with but one beta test left to play
But when Square Enix reared its head as Chrono fans gave acclaim
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast.
They thought, if only CE could get but a whack at that -
We'd put up even money, now, with CE at the bat.
But Cross preceded CE, as did also Radical Dreamers,
And the former was official while the latter was from schemers,
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy lay,
For there seemed but little chance of CE ever being played.
But Cross turned out to be awesome, to the expectations of fans,
And Dreamers, though mostly text-based, was equally as grand,
And when the dust had lifted, and the fans saw what had gone on,
There was Dreamers safe online and Cross a-holding strong.
Then from a million throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the game stores, it rattled in the Dell (computers),
It flew across the oceans and recoiled upon the ‘net,
For CE, mighty CE, was about to earn its rep.
There was fun in CE’s manner as it equaled Trigger’s style,
There was substance in CE's storyline that made many a fan smile
And when, responding to the cheers, it introduced with ease,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas CE here to please.
A million eyes were on it as it showed its custom sprites
A million tongues applauded as they watched it through the night.
Then while Square Enix hired some lawyers within its hips,
Defiance gleamed in Kajar Labs, sneers curled their collective lips.
And now a C&D letter came hurtling through the air,
And Kajar Labs stood watching it in haughty grandeur there.
For it had attached a readme file and the contents within read:
"Rom hacking is indeed illegal". "Strike one," Square Enix said.
From the internet, swarming with fans, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill them! Kill Square Enix!" went a flame war on the web
And it's likely they’d have killed them had not Kajar Labs raised its head.
With a smile of Christian charity, great CE's visage shone;
They stilled the rising tumult; they bade the game go on;
They confronted with Square Enix, and again the legalities flew,
But CE still ignored it, and Square Enix said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened millions, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Kajar Labs, and the audience was awed.
They saw their faces grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that CE wouldn't let Square Enix try again.
The sneer is gone from Kajar Labs, their teeth are clenched up tight.
CE pounds out with violence its innovation left and right!
And now Square Enix holds its letter, and now its lets it go!
And now the web is shattered by the force of CE's blow!!
Oh, somewhere in the outside world, there is justice to be had,
The band is playing somber tunes, and somewhere hearts are sad,
And somewhere fans are sobbing, and somewhere fans do frown,
For there is no joy in the Chrono franchise — mighty CE was struck down.
P.S. I am submitting this formally for the Winter Fragments contest, if it’s not too early.
“Crimson Echoes on the ‘Net”
* * * * * *
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for Kajar Labs that day
The programming was almost done with but one beta test left to play
But when Square Enix reared its head as Chrono fans gave acclaim
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast.
They thought, if only CE could get but a whack at that -
We'd put up even money, now, with CE at the bat.
But Cross preceded CE, as did also Radical Dreamers,
And the former was official while the latter was from schemers,
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy lay,
For there seemed but little chance of CE ever being played.
But Cross turned out to be awesome, to the expectations of fans,
And Dreamers, though mostly text-based, was equally as grand,
And when the dust had lifted, and the fans saw what had gone on,
There was Dreamers safe online and Cross a-holding strong.
Then from a million throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the game stores, it rattled in the Dell (computers),
It flew across the oceans and recoiled upon the ‘net,
For CE, mighty CE, was about to earn its rep.
There was fun in CE’s manner as it equaled Trigger’s style,
There was substance in CE's storyline that made many a fan smile
And when, responding to the cheers, it introduced with ease,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas CE here to please.
A million eyes were on it as it showed its custom sprites
A million tongues applauded as they watched it through the night.
Then while Square Enix hired some lawyers within its hips,
Defiance gleamed in Kajar Labs, sneers curled their collective lips.
And now a C&D letter came hurtling through the air,
And Kajar Labs stood watching it in haughty grandeur there.
For it had attached a readme file and the contents within read:
"Rom hacking is indeed illegal". "Strike one," Square Enix said.
From the internet, swarming with fans, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill them! Kill Square Enix!" went a flame war on the web
And it's likely they’d have killed them had not Kajar Labs raised its head.
With a smile of Christian charity, great CE's visage shone;
They stilled the rising tumult; they bade the game go on;
They confronted with Square Enix, and again the legalities flew,
But CE still ignored it, and Square Enix said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened millions, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Kajar Labs, and the audience was awed.
They saw their faces grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that CE wouldn't let Square Enix try again.
The sneer is gone from Kajar Labs, their teeth are clenched up tight.
CE pounds out with violence its innovation left and right!
And now Square Enix holds its letter, and now its lets it go!
And now the web is shattered by the force of CE's blow!!
Oh, somewhere in the outside world, there is justice to be had,
The band is playing somber tunes, and somewhere hearts are sad,
And somewhere fans are sobbing, and somewhere fans do frown,
For there is no joy in the Chrono franchise — mighty CE was struck down.
9
Chrono / Gameplay Casual Discussion / In Honour of Frog...
« on: October 06, 2009, 02:00:15 pm »Onward, ye rouges of all hues and tints!
This be a post related to times of lore long lost. Prithee be not incensed by the manner which mine word be spoken. 'Tis but the common means of speech crafted by the denizens of all shires and villages.
'Tis also a challenge to those who dare. From here on, be this the only manner of tongue ye speak through the thread. Ye can relate current or past affairs which have fancied thy mind, yet... Ye cannot stray from the flock and leap beyond to the present when spinning such yarns.
Ye might ask, what motive doth I carry for such a venture? I reply that 'tis but a simple jest. The slightest zephyr hath more direction than this post be.
The gauntlet awaits. What fool-hardy lads and lasses shall approach?
10
Polling / Which Chrono character do you most relate to?
« on: September 30, 2009, 04:21:44 pm »
When I say relate to, I don't just mean in physical traits. (I mean, who here can honestly say that they have the thick spiky hair of Crono or Schala's long, voluminous blue hair?)
I'm talking about in terms of personality, weaknesses, strengths, and so on.
Me? I relate most to Robo.
I feel like a lot of what I do throughout the day is mostly automatic. I have a conscious mind, but it only helps so much. Sometimes, I wonder about what I plan to do for the rest of my life (isn't that what the Springtime of Youth thread is for?) In the end, I prove myself to be strong-willed and independent.
I'm sure we'll have lots of fun with this one.
Edit: I forgot to mention that it isn't limited to just Trigger. It wouldn't be fair, so Cross is included as well in our scope of character relations.
I'm talking about in terms of personality, weaknesses, strengths, and so on.
Me? I relate most to Robo.
I feel like a lot of what I do throughout the day is mostly automatic. I have a conscious mind, but it only helps so much. Sometimes, I wonder about what I plan to do for the rest of my life (isn't that what the Springtime of Youth thread is for?) In the end, I prove myself to be strong-willed and independent.
I'm sure we'll have lots of fun with this one.
Edit: I forgot to mention that it isn't limited to just Trigger. It wouldn't be fair, so Cross is included as well in our scope of character relations.
11
Fan Fiction / Chrono Trigger Screenplay (Part One)
« on: September 28, 2009, 04:02:54 pm »
That's right! Amazing as it sounds, I am currently underway with working on a CT screenplay trilogy (perhaps even a quadrilogy) based on the fullness of the game itself.
This format of the game will preserve up to 95% of the original material (which is rather an ecstatic number for me).
Now, you might be saying, "Great. A Chrono Symphonic wanna-be." No! I'm not doing this just for the music or just for the cinematic experience. I'm doing this because there wasn't enough justice done for the Chrono Symphonic project.
Don't get me wrong. The guy's music is astounding and awe-inspiring. That's not the purpose of my endeavor. My purpose is to capture as much of the game as I can and put it into a movie in embryo form (which is what a screenplay is).
I've read the guy’s review: http://www.chronocompendium.com/Stories/21/2
He says he’s got three years of screenwriting classes under his belt, yet there are a couple of things that strike me as unconventional for a person claiming such experience:
- He’s got no other screenplays to his name (or if he does, he doesn’t list them).
- He makes so many mistakes in his screenplay that any agent worth his/her position in an agency would put it straight into the circular file by page 10. I kid you not.
- He’s so focused on artistic license for his project that he’ll lose any chance of any literary agent taking him seriously.
- He’s doing it for fun. Hollywood is a business, and a very serious one at that.
I’m writing this because I know the process behind how screenplays are made, how they’re rewritten, and how they get solicited and read by someone in Tinsel Town. I actually want this to become a movie trilogy (or perhaps even quadrilogy), and no amount of screenwriting courses are going to reveal to you the deepest (and most easy to bypass) secrets to making one’s screenplay bullet-proof.
* * * * * *
Well, enough of my passionate rant. What says the fellow Compendiumites out there?
This format of the game will preserve up to 95% of the original material (which is rather an ecstatic number for me).
Now, you might be saying, "Great. A Chrono Symphonic wanna-be." No! I'm not doing this just for the music or just for the cinematic experience. I'm doing this because there wasn't enough justice done for the Chrono Symphonic project.
Don't get me wrong. The guy's music is astounding and awe-inspiring. That's not the purpose of my endeavor. My purpose is to capture as much of the game as I can and put it into a movie in embryo form (which is what a screenplay is).
I've read the guy’s review: http://www.chronocompendium.com/Stories/21/2
He says he’s got three years of screenwriting classes under his belt, yet there are a couple of things that strike me as unconventional for a person claiming such experience:
- He’s got no other screenplays to his name (or if he does, he doesn’t list them).
- He makes so many mistakes in his screenplay that any agent worth his/her position in an agency would put it straight into the circular file by page 10. I kid you not.
- He’s so focused on artistic license for his project that he’ll lose any chance of any literary agent taking him seriously.
- He’s doing it for fun. Hollywood is a business, and a very serious one at that.
I’m writing this because I know the process behind how screenplays are made, how they’re rewritten, and how they get solicited and read by someone in Tinsel Town. I actually want this to become a movie trilogy (or perhaps even quadrilogy), and no amount of screenwriting courses are going to reveal to you the deepest (and most easy to bypass) secrets to making one’s screenplay bullet-proof.
* * * * * *
Well, enough of my passionate rant. What says the fellow Compendiumites out there?
12
Polling / "TRW - CT" Comic Proposal
« on: September 25, 2009, 01:32:28 pm »
Recently, I've been holding back from writing the next episode of The Real World - Chrono Trigger. It's not that I don't want to, but I have happened upon a possible reason for my latest delay:
The format is unappealing.
So, in order to recharge my creativity and breathe some fresh life into my series, I've decided to switch it over to a sprite comic. I can easily assemble them in Photoshop. The only drawback would be that I would have to start from Episode 1 and catch up to my current episode sitting on the backburner.
Of course, it would be a waste of time on my part to make a sprite comic of my series if nobody's going to read it, so that's why I started asking.
Looking forward to the answers. We cool?
The format is unappealing.
So, in order to recharge my creativity and breathe some fresh life into my series, I've decided to switch it over to a sprite comic. I can easily assemble them in Photoshop. The only drawback would be that I would have to start from Episode 1 and catch up to my current episode sitting on the backburner.
Of course, it would be a waste of time on my part to make a sprite comic of my series if nobody's going to read it, so that's why I started asking.
Looking forward to the answers. We cool?
13
Submissions / Chrono Awesum!!
« on: September 23, 2009, 03:45:33 pm »
Now presenting the greatest thing to the series since Chrono Panda...
BAM!!
Not even Chrono Trigger is immune to being AWESUM!!
That's just Crono. See if you can make anybody else in the series AWESUM!!
Personally, I'd like to see Magus being AWESUM!!
BAM!!
Not even Chrono Trigger is immune to being AWESUM!!
That's just Crono. See if you can make anybody else in the series AWESUM!!
Personally, I'd like to see Magus being AWESUM!!
14
Chrono / Gameplay Casual Discussion / Game Length
« on: September 10, 2009, 05:27:02 pm »Now, I know that the game at its maximum is good for 20-30 hours of gameplay, far shorter than the traditional 70-100 hours of gameplay for others at the time.
Let's do a little Gedanken experiment.
Say you were drafted to the SE scenario design team for Chrono Trigger during its development stage (what a dream that would be). In an odd twist of fate, the production and programming schedule has allowed your deparment to extend the scenarios and make the game longer.
Now for the Fated Hour. Based on your current collective knowledge of the game and its numerous details, both minute and colossal, what scenarios would you add to extend the game to a full 70-100 hours of traditional RPG length?
15
Polling / Music Video Perception
« on: September 10, 2009, 04:35:43 pm »It's been a personal problem. I have no problem listening to some of my favorite songs on my iPod, but when I go to see the official music video for the song (if it has one), then I suddenly come down with a case of the WTFs. Still, I don't like the idea of ditching a song I like just because the music video was full-blown, all-out, pedal-to-the-metal corny.
What says you?
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