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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Alphard and Demeria
« on: December 25, 2007, 05:28:05 am »
Dang, I had hoped for more on King Zeal as well. The ending is still very good none-the-less, though I hadn't expected it. Again I have to say I love the way you describe the characters and their emotions, very stylistic. I really do hope you write more on Alphard and Demeria, there's so many things that ending briefly touches on that beg to be expanded upon. Good show!
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Story 3: The Arbiter
« on: November 25, 2007, 06:15:01 am »
Ahh a comment! Was starting to think the Dream Splash Thread had died. In port Guam at the moment and had a chance to check up on things.
Glad you like it FaustWolf, even if you do obsess about the current hairstyles of librarians lol. J/K, I also agree that it is the little things that make the big picture, you don't want nondescript character number 3 taking to slightly-detailed main character. Even the small bit characters have a story behind, and I try to convey that with my descriptions of them. Ahh but I have babbled long enough, and I've many webpages to catch up on before liberty expires. Thanks for the feedback and expect a 4th story if time permits me to write it.
Glad you like it FaustWolf, even if you do obsess about the current hairstyles of librarians lol. J/K, I also agree that it is the little things that make the big picture, you don't want nondescript character number 3 taking to slightly-detailed main character. Even the small bit characters have a story behind, and I try to convey that with my descriptions of them. Ahh but I have babbled long enough, and I've many webpages to catch up on before liberty expires. Thanks for the feedback and expect a 4th story if time permits me to write it.
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Story 3: The Arbiter
« on: November 03, 2007, 09:36:39 pm »
Now presenting the 3rd short story. This will probably be my last entry for the Dream Splash, thought I'd intended to do more. My ship goes on their pacific cruise monday and I'll be kept busy for awhile with life at sea in general.
Anyway, a bit about the story (not spoilers or anything). In it I used an odd date system that i'd stolen from the Aztec calender. I put translations of the dates when I use them but I wanted to add a little something different to the way they marked the passing of time. Anyway, hope you enjoy the tale and let me know what you think!
(Again the file is up for download only so just click the link thingy at the bottom of the page to view.)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Anyway, a bit about the story (not spoilers or anything). In it I used an odd date system that i'd stolen from the Aztec calender. I put translations of the dates when I use them but I wanted to add a little something different to the way they marked the passing of time. Anyway, hope you enjoy the tale and let me know what you think!
(Again the file is up for download only so just click the link thingy at the bottom of the page to view.)
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Interview with Magus
« on: October 14, 2007, 08:13:08 pm »
That was pretty good! Wish it were longer actually. It was funny and maybe you'll do more eh? That'd be cool!
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Story 2: Different
« on: September 21, 2007, 10:23:46 pm »
Welcome to the second story in my series of stories for Zeal. I can't seem to stay away from the earthbounds and they play a large role in this story as well. Anyway, I would have posted this sooner except for the fact that the equipment from my ship that gives us the internet died right after we took to the seas. Had to wait till we reached port again till I updated so here it is, enjoy!
Btw, the story is an attachment.
[attachment deleted by admin]
Btw, the story is an attachment.
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: CT+ Black Wind Rising Video
« on: September 21, 2007, 06:07:02 pm »
Nice, I can see you added quite a bit of dialog. Young Janus is even wordier than the older one lol. I also like the small throne-room scene (and you can see a small interloper hiding behind a pillar, nice detail!). Can't wait till the + version is 100% complete, then I have to play Chrono Trigger once more!
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Alphard and Demeria
« on: September 21, 2007, 05:43:30 pm »
Meant to reply to this sooner, but when SHF dies on the ship then the internet stops working.(Two weeks without the net, alas cruel fate!) As it is, I got back today to see you added more to your story.
I really like the way you write/describe things. Your mastery of un-often used words is quiet impressive, and your descriptions are exotic and not at all too flowery. I like it!
That said, I have to wonder if this is going to lead up to King Zeal's death perhaps? Or maybe I'm just a pessismist lol. I can sympathize with the King to see changes that can improve things only to have them blocked by years of tradition or because "it's just the way it's done." All good things take work though, hopefully he endures.
At first when I thought the first posting was the entire story, I was somewhat confused but I see it continues further so it's all cool. I am somewhat confused on where the demons come from though. In any case, hope to see more!
I really like the way you write/describe things. Your mastery of un-often used words is quiet impressive, and your descriptions are exotic and not at all too flowery. I like it!
That said, I have to wonder if this is going to lead up to King Zeal's death perhaps? Or maybe I'm just a pessismist lol. I can sympathize with the King to see changes that can improve things only to have them blocked by years of tradition or because "it's just the way it's done." All good things take work though, hopefully he endures.
At first when I thought the first posting was the entire story, I was somewhat confused but I see it continues further so it's all cool. I am somewhat confused on where the demons come from though. In any case, hope to see more!
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Story 1: A Lady's Champion
« on: September 03, 2007, 05:32:46 pm »
Another coincidence sadly. The name came from my train of thought at the time and for some reason I was thinking about the Kalistar race from Eberron (hence the name of the "capital" that she spoke of). In the Eberron setting the Kalistar are a race psychic beings(more or less) and their use of crystals and gems made me think of Zeal. So I decided to borrow that as the capital name. Afterwards I was thinking of a name for "The Angel" and decided to use the Kali from Kalistar. In essence she's saying the capital is named after herself, or at least wishing it was. That isn't it's actual name of course, though poor Doan doesn't know that. Hopefully that explanation made some sort of sense lol.
Again, glad you enjoyed it!
Again, glad you enjoyed it!
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Story 1: A Lady's Champion
« on: August 29, 2007, 03:24:24 pm »
Spoilers, kind of!
First off, glad you enjoyed it!
I actually expected everyone who reads it to know Doan is going to die. It's an absolute really, kind of like knowing a ball will fall if tossed in the air. What mattered was how, when, and why. This woman played him the entire time, making a show of preparing him to defend her against a demon. At the end he dies thinking that he was at least doing what was right, protecting someone against a greater evil. I think that's the real tragedy, not knowing your sacrifie is meaningless.
I also like to think that Kali has a small shred of humanity to give him a vague warning at the outset. Or you can say she does it to gaurantee her champion is committed to the cause and won't try to back out. I picture her as a playwright and actor who is totally commited to topping the last show, adding more and more, and willing to sacrifice other's in her endeavor. The show must go on!
As for Doan, that name was kind of taken at the spur of the moment really. I also kinda stole it from the old man in the dome in the future. The name just seemed like it was fit for him though and I couldn't stand changing it to something else. Is there a weighty past to the name Doan that I am crazy oblivious too?
Again, glad you enjoyed it and you can expect more in the future!
First off, glad you enjoyed it!
I actually expected everyone who reads it to know Doan is going to die. It's an absolute really, kind of like knowing a ball will fall if tossed in the air. What mattered was how, when, and why. This woman played him the entire time, making a show of preparing him to defend her against a demon. At the end he dies thinking that he was at least doing what was right, protecting someone against a greater evil. I think that's the real tragedy, not knowing your sacrifie is meaningless.
I also like to think that Kali has a small shred of humanity to give him a vague warning at the outset. Or you can say she does it to gaurantee her champion is committed to the cause and won't try to back out. I picture her as a playwright and actor who is totally commited to topping the last show, adding more and more, and willing to sacrifice other's in her endeavor. The show must go on!
As for Doan, that name was kind of taken at the spur of the moment really. I also kinda stole it from the old man in the dome in the future. The name just seemed like it was fit for him though and I couldn't stand changing it to something else. Is there a weighty past to the name Doan that I am crazy oblivious too?
Again, glad you enjoyed it and you can expect more in the future!
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Story 1: A Lady's Champion
« on: August 28, 2007, 10:19:57 pm »
Hello ladies and gents! Here is the first of my stories for this fine event. You'll hear more about my thoughts on it an what not after the story itself. I have proof-read it many times but my resident grammar nazi is going to give it a look-over and I'll replace the current one here as soon as I get it back. Couldn't wait that long to get it posted though! On with the show!
Btw, it is an attached .doc file as I don't like how it is displayed through Internet Explorer or any web-browser really.
[attachment deleted by admin]
Btw, it is an attached .doc file as I don't like how it is displayed through Internet Explorer or any web-browser really.
[attachment deleted by admin]
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Dream Splash I - Zeal [2007] / Re: Genesis Omen
« on: August 26, 2007, 10:52:06 pm »
Good read indeed! I definitely agree with the characterization you've given them, spot on. Hopefully your's won't be the only work of words up, mine should be finished before the week is over.
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Fan Fiction / Re: Observers: The Black Wind
« on: July 24, 2007, 12:42:15 am »
Chapter 14 is up! Enjoy the read and let me know what you think of the direction! Thanks.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2553957/14/The_Observers_The_Black_Wind
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2553957/14/The_Observers_The_Black_Wind
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Fan Fiction / Re: Observers: The Black Wind
« on: June 20, 2007, 04:32:37 pm »
Ack, well it's been longer than I would have liked but some things take time I suppose.
I'm out of Japan and happily settled in San Diego for now, on the large arse ship USS GermanTown. My stuffs moved, my internet is almost set up, and things are finally starting to get into a daily rythm.
Anyways, just letting those out there still interested that the story is not dead and everything has settled down once more to the point I can continue writing. This isn't a chapter announcment, expect that within the next week though, just sort of a "hi, ya I'm back" kind of thing. For all those who are patient enough to put up with my infrequent updates I thank you. Anyways, catch ya soon!
I'm out of Japan and happily settled in San Diego for now, on the large arse ship USS GermanTown. My stuffs moved, my internet is almost set up, and things are finally starting to get into a daily rythm.
Anyways, just letting those out there still interested that the story is not dead and everything has settled down once more to the point I can continue writing. This isn't a chapter announcment, expect that within the next week though, just sort of a "hi, ya I'm back" kind of thing. For all those who are patient enough to put up with my infrequent updates I thank you. Anyways, catch ya soon!
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Fan Fiction / Re: Observers: The Black Wind
« on: March 16, 2007, 05:42:09 am »
Chapter 13 is live, I'd say more here but I've written it all down at the start of the chapter. Take a gander.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2553957/13/
Next chapter should be a bit quicker in coming as long as my transfer back CONUS(continental United States, yay for Navy acronyms!) works out. If not it may be a bit longer. Anyways, enjoy!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2553957/13/
Next chapter should be a bit quicker in coming as long as my transfer back CONUS(continental United States, yay for Navy acronyms!) works out. If not it may be a bit longer. Anyways, enjoy!
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