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Messages - jamesexia

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you hate
« on: August 27, 2012, 03:46:22 pm »
Asking for a thousand dollars and telling you it's none of your business why is totally a scam. Get out of that relationship quick! Or stay in but don't give her the money. People need to earn each others' trust, it doesn't come from nothing.

I'm no expert, but it sounds like the "friend" is more than a friend and could see that this engagement is bad for you. And I hate to say it, but some people (like your friend) just need a kick in the pants to realize they have feelings for someone.

Here's a really important question, and I want you to take it seriously. What (not who) do YOU want? Be specific. Write down your answer if you want, you don't even have to post it in this forum. Then look at the fiancee, and look at the friend, and see which qualities each of them have that you want in a soul mate. I bet you'll be surprised, and either your friend will be perfect for you or you'll realize neither is good enough for you nor do they have the qualities you're looking for. I could be wrong, like I said I'm no expert.

A small bit of advice: Don't get engaged unless you've been dating long enough to know the significant other's financial situation. One thing you don't want: "Surprise! Life-debt! Now we BOTH owe!" I won't say anything about physical attraction except make sure you can stand to look at her mug for the rest of your life. Engagement and marriage are serious business to me, I've been dating someone over a year and we're inching closer to her moving in but getting engaged and/or married is still WAY off. You can't rush it or you'll be miserable for sure.
Mr. Bekkler, thank you. :) I realize now that I DID rush it, and I just told her that I'm calling it off. She got mad about it, and said that because I can't send the money, it just means I don't love her. Sooo, I guess I know where I stand with her now. My family said that I have made the right decision. That if she can't understand what I'm going through, then it won't work no matter what. I wrote down what I'm wanting in a spouse, and my friend seems to have many of the things I'm looking for. I can't go see her at this time, and I need some time to think for now. I'll go see her soon, but right now I don't have the money to do anything other than help some of my family with food.
Rare Shiny Tushantin spotted in the Compendium grasslands! What are your options: Fight, Bag, Run, Converse.

So you...don't believe that you can know your soulmate at first sight, but you believe that you can fall in love at first sight?  Either I'm misunderstanding you, or you're contradicting yourself.
Whatever we think he means, I think that "Love at first sight" and "Soul-mating" are different concepts, even though related. XD

I still would like to echo Bekkler's statement: "People need to earn each others' trust, it doesn't come from nothing."

*disappears from the convo again*
Yeah, that's the problem with the gal I thought I loved. She wanted me to just trust her blindly, and not question her. Oh well, I can't have this in my life right now, so like I said, I told her I'm calling it off. She can be mad all she wants, but things like this happen. I think she's looking for a fairy-tale relationship, and that has never worked in real life to my knowledge. Well, I won't be on here for a while, even though I'm not on that much as is. I'll post something at some point about how it's going I guess, but I think it's time to move onto something else. :wink:

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you hate
« on: August 27, 2012, 12:46:26 pm »
EDIT: Oh! I just saw you wanted to know how old she is. Well, first off, I'm 27. She's the same age as me. And the gal I'm engaged to is 24 next month. I don't know what she really wants from me. She said she doesn't even really know what she wants in a guy. She's hoping to find her soulmate, and that she'll know him when she lays eyes on him the first time.

Regarding the bolded part, are you talking about your friend, or your fianceť?

Also I'm confused by this:

She's hoping to find her soulmate, and that she'll know him when she lays eyes on him the first time. I don't really believe in that anymore.

When you said this in the "Stuff you love" thread:

:D Well, I've met a gal who openly admitted she loves me. I love her as well, and we're engaged. I know it's a bit sudden, but it was love at first sight.

So you...don't believe that you can know your soulmate at first sight, but you believe that you can fall in love at first sight?  Either I'm misunderstanding you, or you're contradicting yourself.  I realize "soulmate" and "love" are different things, but they both mean "hey I kinda want to be with you for a long time, if not for the rest of my life" so I fail to see the difference in this particular scenario.
Yeah, I didn't realize I had. Thanks for telling me. I meant my friend had said that about what you put in bold. But now she's become pretty clear on what she wants. She said she's been thinking for the past few days, and finally figure it out what she's wanting. I may call this engagement off though. My fiancee is in california right now where she's living, but she's asking me for $1000, and won't tell me why. I don't have that kind of money, and she won't take no for an answer. My family is thinking that even though we got to meet once, she's trying to scam me. I've been asking her about it, and she refuses to tell me what the money is for. She says it's nothing I need to be concerned with. I really don't know if I DO love her, because she keeps putting these doubts in my heart about whether she really wants to be with me or not. I think I let my emotions get the better of me, and that I haven't really thought out this whole thing. I've told her I need some time to think about all this, and she said she's okay with that, that she is having doubts as well. I don't know anything anymore, and I'm just going to wait and see what happens right now. I also just heard from my friend that she does have feelings for me, and that she wishes I wasn't engaged. I get along better with her anyway, because My fiancee won't tell me anything when we talk. I'm trying to get to know her better, and let her know me better as well, but she says she doesn't want to talk about herself at all. That, again, it's nothing I really need to know about. She's putting all these doubts in my heart right now, and I don't think I can truly love her with the way she's acting. She keeps expecting me to just blindly trust her on everything, no matter what that may be. I'm going to just stop talking to anyone for a while, and go think about what is going on in my life. I know this may confuse everyone even more, but that's nothing compared to how cunfused I am right now. :(

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you hate
« on: August 26, 2012, 08:40:20 pm »
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I guess I overreacted. To everyone who hasn't played The World Ends with You, do yourself a favor and try it out sometime.

But I don't have a DS!  (And I hate portable systems because they kill my neck.)  :cry:

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I tried, but she said she wanted to be alone for a while. I don't know what she's thinking, but you're right. It's going to hurt like nothing before to lose her as a friend, but I will respect her choice in the matter. Thanks, by the way. I'm just trying to live day by day now, and I can't get too upset about this. I'll give her some space for a few days or weeks, however long she needs to think. It's all I can do for now.

I don't mean to pry, but how old is this friend of yours?  The younger they are, the less a girl's feelings can be relied upon.  Unless she is a very recent ex (and nothing you've said suggests that she is), I can think of no justifiable reason for her scorn based on what she has told you.  I can think of two possibilities for her behavior.  One, that she really does have romantic feelings for you and has never said so, and perhaps has not been able to admit it to herself.  And two, that she's never had romantic feelings for you but views your own engagement as a door being forever closed - a possibility that you and she never openly or privately explored.  I think the second would be the more likely option if you and she have known each other for awhile.  But knowing her only a month?  More likely option one.  In any case, I wouldn't worry about it too much.  I would be more concerned about the girl that you love.  If that relationship is as fast as you've suggested, you better make sure that she is the Marle to your Crono.
Who said you were prying? :wink:
But yeah, I have only known this friend for about two months now, and have been a friend to her for one. She's been through a very nasty divorce recently, and that probably has something to do with it, that and last year she lost her brother because he committed suicide. She's a nice person, but I don't love her. And about the gal I do love: Yeah, I know it's pretty quick and all, but we have agreed that if it doesn't seem to be working before we get married, we'll try to work it out. If that doesn't work, we'll call the engagement off. I told my friend this, but I guess she's still hearing the fact I'm engaged right now, and hasn't registered anything else. Thanks for your concern though. :) I don't have many people I can turn to about this, so having people I don't know give me their opinion helps some. My family has said that I should just wait and see how it goes, and not worry. I will do that. I've learned that you sometimes have to burn some bridges before you find what you truly NEED. Again, thanks. I really appreciate everybodies thoughts on this. :D I really hope she is my Marle. :)
EDIT: Oh! I just saw you wanted to know how old she is. Well, first off, I'm 27. She's the same age as me. And the gal I'm engaged to is 24 next month. I don't know what she really wants from me. She said she doesn't even really know what she wants in a guy. She's hoping to find her soulmate, and that she'll know him when she lays eyes on him the first time. I don't really believe in that anymore. I know from seeing members of my family that it takes work for a relationship to last. Heck, my aunt and uncle ran off together in the late '70s, and didn't get married until about '82-'83. They've been together ever since, adn while they argue, they love each other very much. :)

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you hate
« on: August 26, 2012, 07:07:21 pm »
Double post--whoops!
:( What is with gals who say they only want to be friends, and then when you meet someone else, they get mad? I've been friends with a gal for about a month now, and recently I met another gal and fell in love with her. We're engaged right now, and when I told my friend, she said she didn't know if she wanted to be friends anymore. :( She told me she only liked me as a friend, and that she didn't love me. I don't understand how she could say she will always want to be friends, and then tell me she doesn't know anymore because I'm engaged to someone else. I don't think I'll ever understand women. :(

Love is a tricky business. Seeing as you're engaged now, you may have to cut your losses with this other girl... but hopefully it won't come to that. Losing a friend is never easy. At least talk to her about what's going on.

Best of luck to ya.
:( I tried, but she said she wanted to be alone for a while. I don't know what she's thinking, but you're right. It's going to hurt like nothing before to lose her as a friend, but I will respect her choice in the matter. Thanks, by the way. I'm just trying to live day by day now, and I can't get too upset about this. I'll give her some space for a few days or weeks, however long she needs to think. It's all I can do for now.

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you LOVE, baby
« on: August 26, 2012, 06:56:46 pm »
 :D Well, I've met a gal who openly admitted she loves me. I love her as well, and we're engaged. I know it's a bit sudden, but it was love at first sight. She's in another state right now, but will be here where I am in two or three months. The only downer is that a friend of mine is mad about it. I've put that part in the Stuff You Hate thread, so if you want to know what it's about, look there. I love this gal so much, I can't wait until we're married. :D

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you hate
« on: August 26, 2012, 06:50:35 pm »
 :( What is with gals who say they only want to be friends, and then when you meet someone else, they get mad? I've been friends with a gal for about a month now, and recently I met another gal and fell in love with her. We're engaged right now, and when I told my friend, she said she didn't know if she wanted to be friends anymore. :( She told me she only liked me as a friend, and that she didn't love me. I don't understand how she could say she will always want to be friends, and then tell me she doesn't know anymore because I'm engaged to someone else. I don't think I'll ever understand women. :(

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you LOVE, baby
« on: July 09, 2012, 12:57:31 pm »
fingers crossed for ya, just try not to rush things!
:D I won't! And thanks. I haven't been this happy in years! :)
EDIT:  :( I just found out that the gal I've been talking to was more interested in how much money I had, and not in who I was.
I've been asking everyone I've been talking to online how they really feel. I'm trying to settle a trust, and I made it very clear that it could be a year before it's settled. I just don't see why some people think that just because I'll get the property in the future, they think I have the money NOW. Oh well. I can't let this get to me. There's plenty of people who would like me for who I am, and not how much I'm worth. Which, by the way, ain't much. :P

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General Discussion / Re: Stuff you LOVE, baby
« on: July 08, 2012, 11:13:58 pm »
I don't know if this is the right place or not, but here it is: In another thread recently(if a couple of weeks is recent :P), I fussed about dating sites in general. Not any more! :D I met a beautiful woman on the same dating site, and once I settle some property matters(which I won't bore you with), we'll be moving in together. She wants to wait about a year before we get married, but we're very much in love, and want to be together. I think my prayers have been answered more than I could have ever imagined. :D Wish us luck!

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General Discussion / Re: Artists, who and what are your influences?
« on: June 25, 2012, 09:13:35 pm »
You have convinced me, I must see this Tactics Ogre game in full for myself.

:D You'll love it! I'll only say this about the story: the early parts are based on events that happened in Yugoslavia. Ethnic cleansing and all that. I won't say anymore, because the rest of the game is just flat out awesome! 8)

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General Discussion / Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« on: June 21, 2012, 09:08:34 pm »
Tushantin and Sajainta, thank you. :) I'm not going to let a few trolls, or whatever you want to call them, stop me from finding love. I'm still mad about what happened with the PSN, but was it all Sony's fault? Or are there others who are as much, if not more, to blame? I keep getting sites that put the blame all on Sony, but I'm not sure if they're the only ones at fault on this. Does anyone know of a site that isn't biased about this subject?

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General Discussion / Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« on: June 21, 2012, 02:36:24 am »
Hate to bring this up again, but what is it with some people loving to toy with others feelings? I'm pretty sick of some gals on dating sites acting like they can flirt with a guy, and then tell them they were just messing with them. I seriously think some people go on those sites just to see how much pain they can cause. :x And I know it's all over the internet, but do people really get a kick out of toying with peoples feelings? Don't they know that nobody wants to be around people like that? Or do they even care? :cry: Oh, and f*** Sony. I'm STILL wishing they'd put Lunar 2 on PSN. That was one of my favorite games when I was a teen. And Suikoden 2. Never could find a cheap copy of it, so I never got to play it. Is it really that good a game?

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General Discussion / Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« on: June 17, 2012, 11:15:29 pm »
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Quad-six? Sorry, I don't really know what that means...
Ha, you had reply number 6666 in this thread. It's like Satan, but times four. And it's also Magus' boss HP, which should be good luck around here. Welcome aboard!
OH! :oops: Don't I feel silly. And I'm glad to be here. This has got to be one of the BEST fansites on the internet. :D

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General Discussion / Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« on: June 14, 2012, 01:02:00 pm »
I don't think it's that much of a big deal to talk to strangers, but the question is how do you relate with them? How do you respect them? How much do you appreciate them as they are?

Because the very root of a good relationship is sensitivity and appreciation. If one cannot accept another complete with their goods and bads, then how can they imagine spending their lives together?

P.S.: James, you've caught the quad-six! Not that anybody cares (except for me, because I do), but that's quite awesome.
:? Quad-six? Sorry, I don't really know what that means. :)
Okay, back to the main topic! Anyone else besides me getting REALLY ticked off at Sonys Media Go program? I swear, almost every time I try and download something I've already bought, it flat out refuses to let me! Have they changed their policies again?

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General Discussion / Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« on: June 14, 2012, 04:21:09 am »
 :shock: Oookaay. I just had one heck of a scare today. I've been talking with what I THOUGHT was a nice gal about my age on that dating site I mentioned before. Well, today we both realized that we didn't have much in common, so I told her I felt that it would be best to go our separate ways. The next thing I know, she's claiming I'm some guy she knows, and starts to harass me. I informed the site admins of what was going on, and so far she hasn't tried to contact me again. I haven't let this get me scared of talking to strangers though. I did become friends with her on facebook, but blocked her after what happened. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. :)
I've been talking to another gal on the site, and we have a lot in common. BUT, the first sign that something fishy, and I'm deleting my account with the site. What really frustrates me is that I didn't even realize it until afterwords, but anytime I had to go do something, she would want to know why I even bothered talking to her. I'm going to be more cautious about who I talk to, that's for sure!
EDIT: Yeah, yeah, I know! No jokes about the number, okay?

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 :shock: I've noticed that for years, but I didn't know WHAT the heck they were. Now I'm going to be trying to figure out just what they are for the rest of the day! :roll:

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