Chrono Compendium

Marbule Gallery - Completed Fan Creations => Retranslation of Chrono Trigger => Topic started by: yujinishuge on December 09, 2008, 10:42:23 am

Title: Translation Suggestions.
Post by: yujinishuge on December 09, 2008, 10:42:23 am
Sorry for double posting on another room.  I'm new here...

I'd like to talk to the translator.  While I admire you for your hard work in translating this for no money, and I too admit that Woosley's translation was full of errors and lots of stuff was left out.... There are some issues with the translation fixes you made.

I realize you want to get the full meaning of what is going on in the Japanese text, but your translation often reads like it is a translation of Japanese.  In fact, from reading your English, I can pick out the exact phrase that was used in Japanese without even looking at it.

An example:

「よう、クロノか!   
 どうした、剣でもならいに来たか?[END]     

"Frog: Yo, Crono!   
What's wrong, have you come to train swords   
   skill in swordplay?       or something?"   

よう is yo?  Yea, I probably would have translated it that way too, or maybe just "Hey" or "Whassup?" either way, you need to be consistent because later we have...


カエル「何ッ!? 
    王がたおれられた、だと?[END]

Frog: What......!?         
The king has fallen, you say......?

Yes, I know... "you say" is in there because of the だと? But people don't talk like that in English... especially if they start their sentences with Yo.

Even "Aw snap!  Da king got his ass whupped?" is more appropriate.

I know that's not what you are going for, but when you translate, you still need the translation to sound like normal speech to the audience.  It simply doesn't flow right. 

That said,... I definately admire all the work you put into it, you fixed most of the major issues that the Woosley translation was lacking in... especially the One of you is close to someone who needs help line.  I was thinking like WTF  I already did all the optional stuff!  Who's left?  I always assumed it was refering to Marle's dad.


More suggestions for names... if I had done it.. Well I didn't do it, so i am not complaining, but hear me out.

Janus is not Jyaki, he's Jacky.  Schala is Sarah.  Just in the same manner that Seiraa Muun is Sailor Moon in English.

That said, if you are going for a more exotic name (which is why I think Woosley picked Schala and Janus) then Jyaki and Sara sound fine... but why bother changing Woosley's names in the first place?


 マール (MAARU) I'd have done it as "Maryl".  Marle read in English is too ambiguous.  Is is Marl? Is it Marlay? Is it Marlee? "Marle" only works if read phonetically in which case it still doesn't look like "マール", rather  "マーレ"

エイラ (Eira)  I've always thought her name was アイラー in Japanese until I actually played the Japanese cart once.  Ayla looks like that.  EH-LA might have been good  (for stereotypical caveman names like Zok, Boff, ROGG, etc).  Not a biggy though.

ROBO... this is going to make people angry I know.. But they named him Robo because of the Japanese convention of taking foreign words and shortening them.  EAAKON insteand of Air Conditioner (EAA KONDISYONAA), PASOCON instead Personal Computer (PASONARU KONPYUUTAA).  English abbreviation for Robot is BOT!  I'd have named him BOT.... 

Crono... sigh.. They should have allowed 6 characters so we could name him Chrono.  Kurono.. We should have named him Blacky  haha just kidding.

Lucca is fine, but in Italian versions of the game, that would mean her name is LUCHA.

BOSH TOSH GASH or whatever they are in JApanese... 
I understand what Woosley was doing here.  BOSH TASH AND GOSH are kind of names that aren't clearly recognizable to a Japanese audience, who would be used to non Japanese names like JAMES TIM NICK AND ROBERT...  But they sound stupid in English, not exotic.  Gaspar Balthasar and Melchior might not have been my pick, but they are certainly better than transcribing those names.  Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael?  Sure why not.. That's as good as Woosleys...

Slash Ozzie and Flea.  Hehe, Slash is Slash because he Slashes stuff with his sword.  That's really the only one that makes sense.  Flea?  I don't think the bassist of Red Hot Chili Peppers is a crossdressing gayish man.  Ozzie Osbourne isn't a bumbling idoiot who can't do anything right either...  Hmm... this one is difficult.  It's hard to capture the niuance of MAYONE...   Slash, Flash and Crash might have been my choice for a retranslation.  or maybe Cutty , Strutty, and Nutty.   Naming them after condiments is silly in English though.


Masa and Mune.. this I always thought was so stupid because the sword isn't a Japanese sword, and because when you render it as Masamune in English, people say "Massmoon!"  I'd have gone with Exca and Libur before Masa and Mune.    I never saw the problem with Grand and Leon either. 

Doreen.. I don't know if anyone's every gotten this but me, but I always thought it was supposed to sound like the English word "Dream" having been written in katakana.  ドリーム... change the mu to an n and it's ドリーン it makes sense cuz she is always talking about dreams.  I might be digging deep on this one, but I might have done it as DREAN.

Why would someone name their kids Masa, Mune, and Doreen?  That's like ... Falcondra, Locquindar, and Fred.

Hmm anything else?

Woosley's "Eyes Cream" is hillarious.. Crepe is what they said, but give the translator the right to insert a joke here and there.

Your translation is good though... so don't get me wrong, I am not a hater, just keep in mind that sometimes you don't need to change things Woosley did just for the sake of changing them, (ie.. your take on Mt. of Woe.), you don't need to cram every little niuance of the Japanese into English... (such as datte becoming "you say" or "tteka" into "or something")  and don't be afraid to add your own flare to it now and then.

Peace 
 
 
Title: Re: Translation Suggestions.
Post by: ZeaLitY on December 09, 2008, 07:08:07 pm
Well, the big objective with the Retranslation project was to pin down the exact canon and recreate how it'd feel to play the game as a Japanese. DoctorL went ahead and did a re-retranslation to better localize for Western expectations, so you might check that version out. I'm not sure if he restored the original names, though.
Title: Re: Translation Suggestions.
Post by: yujinishuge on December 09, 2008, 11:56:35 pm
I see the point, but the only way you can play the game like a Japanese is to learn Japanese and play it in Japanese.  Even in this translation there is so much niuance that can't be translated.

example:

Reptite... he went with Dinomen?

人 does mean man, but it's more like the suffix (-ese, or -ian) 

Translating literally doesn't make you feel like you're getting closer to the Japanese meaning unless you know japanese already.  In that case just play the Japanese version.


Heh..

Still a good work though.
Title: Re: Translation Suggestions.
Post by: utunnels on December 12, 2008, 08:51:13 am
Quote
マール (MAARU) I'd have done it as "Maryl".  Marle read in English is too ambiguous.  Is is Marl? Is it Marlay? Is it Marlee? "Marle" only works if read phonetically in which case it still doesn't look like "マール", rather  "マーレ"
What do you think she's real name is?
Mardia or something?
Never know whether someone has a name like that.
Title: Re: Translation Suggestions.
Post by: yujinishuge on December 12, 2008, 11:44:39 am
Quote
マール (MAARU) I'd have done it as "Maryl".  Marle read in English is too ambiguous.  Is is Marl? Is it Marlay? Is it Marlee? "Marle" only works if read phonetically in which case it still doesn't look like "マール", rather  "マーレ"
What do you think she's real name is?
Mardia or something?
Never know whether someone has a name like that.

It's Marledia isn't it?

I've never known anyone with a lot of names in CT.

Serge?  Crono? Marle? Leene? Toma? Tarta?   None of that matters.

If what we are shooting for is niuance, and the audience has some sense of Japanese, then we should have just gone with MAARU though.
Title: Re: Translation Suggestions.
Post by: utunnels on December 12, 2008, 12:02:43 pm
Get it.
But an new inventioned name also works, since Guile in CC is called Arufu in Japanese version, perhaps it's not neccessary to keep everything the same, unless that name has a special meaning.
Maybe when Marle told Crono her name, she said 'Mar...', but then realized it's no good to tell her real name, anyway, this idea is better than just change her real name to Nadia.