Chrono Compendium
Zenan Plains - Site Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Mavix on April 10, 2007, 03:26:06 pm
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i was finally convinced that santa and his raindeer are drug abuser's.
Have you ever noticed that santa's nose is always red. the conspiracy says that its because of all the coke, crack, and blow he duzz. Rudalph the red nosed raindeer unexpectedly is his storting buddy. rudalph duzz it more than santa. every christmas eve santa has rudalph do lines of blow to get his nose red. and its not only presents he carrying on christmas eve. its cockain he ships to middle and south america.
Who ever reads this tell me what you think about this conspiracy about santa and his drug problems. poor old crack Kringle.
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I think you should get some sleep.
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Poor old crack my ass, the bastard is getting our children hooked on illegal drugs through pixie stixs stocking stuffers. He also uses christmas as part of a complex drug selling ring, by hiding bags in the stuffed animals of the children and having elves come in the middle of the night to eviscerate these false gifts of love for the drug contents inside, which they then sell on the street. According to CIA statistics, Santa is #3 on the list of the largest drug pushers in the world. Dont feel sorry for him, think about the children!
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Right... Did I just lose my place as the creator of Most Pointless Thread Ever On These Forums? ("Funniest Thing to Put in a Microwave")
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Probably.
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Not drugs. Santa just dips into the nog. Alot. I mean, if you had to deliver a toy to every child in the world in one night, you to would need some liquid cheer. That would explain why he's jolly, and his gut is like a bowl full of jelly.
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No, can't be any kind of stimulant, he is vastly overwieght. I think he does some kind of barbiuates, ludes maybe? :)
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NO!! He has to be a drug dealer. somone explain why his nose is red. look at rudolphs nose. its redder than his. every elf working for him is on a "need to know basis". Ask them they know its all about the Crack and the Coke. and when i mention the iniatial CC. in means Crack, Coke. not Chrono cross.
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(http://www.millpondminis.com/images/Signs/coke%20santa.gif)
Proof! Santa promotes coke and caffeine-based drinks.
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Proof! Santa promotes coke and caffeine-based drinks.
Not what I ment :x
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You meant the drug cocaine aka coke, no?
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Well hey, he has to go around the world, through the cold, through the bad weather, and in a timely fashion. Can you blame him for wanting a little buzz while doing this?
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Cheech & Chong said he used Magic Dust to fly.
A little for him, a little for the reindeer, a little more for Santa...
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Wow. All THis is making santa a bad influence on childrene. No wonder he's holly and jolly. he's always thizzing or high yadadadameen.
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Proof! Santa promotes coke and caffeine-based drinks.
Not what I ment :x
Caffeine is a form of stimulant so basically its a drug.
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Of course it is. In fact, quite a number of people are addicted to it, hence why so many have trouble awakening in the morning, because they now require the caffine in order to get back to normal...withdrawel, if you will.
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I know you freakin stole this from robot chicken dude :lol:
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I know you freakin stole this from robot chicken dude :lol:
haha you got called
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haha you got calledI know you freakin stole this from robot chicken dude
Called? what the hells robot chicken. what website is that. I heard about santa doing drugs from my freind Ivan. He Tolled me. I'll ask him.
By the way Santa is still a coke addict no matter what!!!
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Yeah I'm just joking man, dont worry about it. Robot Chicken is a fifteen minute skit show on adult swim that has lots of wacky stuff like that on it. Anyway, I personally think he only dips into blow for the holiday season, being that hes sitting on his butt the rest of the year I would guess hes a big pothead
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and the reason hes fat is because he gets the munchies. LOL
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Okay YOUR FRIEND stole that from robot chicken, its the santa murder files skit.
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Santa killed sombody! :shock:
Sombody needs to stop him and his sidekick elves.
The should walk the plank.
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Santa killed sombody! :shock:
Sombody needs to stop him and his sidekick elves.
The should walk the plank.
You seemed shocked. Well, are you sitting down? Because if that surprised you you should be ready for what I'm about to say.
Santa has killed many in his years as a drug runner. Hell, his reign started with murder. Does the name Saint Nicholas ring a bell? Many mistake him as being the same person as Santa Claus, but such is not the case. Saint Nick was Santa before Santa existed. He would break his back delivering presents to children around the world for the sorry gift of more cookies and milk than one person can possible consume. Angry with the thankless masses, he devised a way to get back at them and get a little for himself at the same time; he created the Tweaks, a group of children devoted to cooking methamphetamine in the basement floors of his workshop. Ole Saint Nick would then distribute this harmful drug while riding his sleigh on christmas eve, whether the recipients be child or adult, sometimes even hidden in the toys of the youth. The children making the meth in his workshop would ingest it, which stunted their growth, creating the little known race of humans known as oompa loompas. This business continued for many years.
Santa Claus was a business associate of Saint Nick's in the beginning. He would distribute to eastern europe, asia, north africa and the middle east, while not-so-saint nick would take the rest. Eventually Santa grew tired of riding bitch, though, and plotted a take over of the business. He secretly founded a facility in South America devoted to harvesting cocaine. Like Saint Nick he used children to harvest the drugs, and they too ingested them, stunting their growth and creating a race entirely different, and much more efficient, than Saint Nick's oompa loompas. These were the first elves. On December 24, 1935, when Saint Nick's workshop was frenzied with the last minute rush, they were attacked by Santa and his elves full force. Caught off guard, Nicks army of oompa loompas was no match for the superior might of the elves. They were driven to the deepest depths of Africa, where they founded Loompaland. Nick was executed and Santa began his bloody reign.
Who do you think killed Kennedy? How could Amelia Airheart just disappear? To find the answer, one must only look to the crystalline sky on Christmas Eve...
Wow, I'm bored.
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There's a time and a place for this kind of retard (no offense to the Mentally Handicaped) crack-addled (no offense to the Crack-Addleded) conspiracy (no offense to Cons Pirates) nonsense and that's...oh wait, no, that's the internet. You've got it.
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no offense to Cons Pirates
Holy hell. Is a Con Pirate some sort of Pirate that's also a Con Artist?
Shit. Those should be more deadly than those ninja-wizards that invaded Mordor.
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I don't know...Y'know, with all the many mysteries surrounding the Cons Pirates 'n' all...I just knew I didn't wanna offend 'em.
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actually, this time SANTA WAS THE ONE WHO WAS KILLED!! at least he was in the skit.
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YOU GUYS, it's not santa who you should be worrying about.....it's the EASTER BUNNY!!! he hides little eggs everywhere filled with crack, and what not, and tells kids to go find them, so that he won't get blamed for actually GIVING the kids the drugs.
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actually, this time SANTA WAS THE ONE WHO WAS KILLED!! at least he was in the skit.
By the DEA, no doubt. The US government has been monitoring Santa's movements to the best of their ability for years now (which is to say, not very well. Atmospheric interference makes it hard to monitor the north pole via sattlelite, and even then santa's workshop is so well hidden that they cant find it.) I'm surprised that with his ahead of its time cloaking technology they were able to track him down. Perhaps they followed the air currents created by the movement of his sled through the sky? Or maybe he didnt die at all, but staged his own death to get the DEA off his back, or for any other reason really, you never know whats going on in that guys head. Maybe it was an assassination by a rogue band of oompa loompas bent on avenging their fallen leader and reclaiming the North Pole? More information is definitely needed...YOU GUYS, it's not santa who you should be worrying about.....it's the EASTER BUNNY!!! he hides little eggs everywhere filled with crack, and what not, and tells kids to go find them, so that he won't get blamed for actually GIVING the kids the drugs.
Yeah, hes crazy alright. Perhaps there is a connection between the two? Or maybe the easter bunny assassinated santa and is taking over the north pole with an army of rabid bunnies! Or just regular bunnies with really pointy teeth, I mean those elves are tough but they go down easy if you chew at their ankles (I know from experience. I was there... I was there...:cry:)
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YOU GUYS, it's not santa who you should be worrying about.....it's the EASTER BUNNY!!! he hides little eggs everywhere filled with crack, and what not, and tells kids to go find them, so that he won't get blamed for actually GIVING the kids the drugs.
(http://www.crazedfanboy.com/nolansnewsstand/PCR/southpark2.jpg)
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YOU GUYS, it's not santa who you should be worrying about.....it's the EASTER BUNNY!!! he hides little eggs everywhere filled with crack, and what not, and tells kids to go find them, so that he won't get blamed for actually GIVING the kids the drugs.
(http://www.crazedfanboy.com/nolansnewsstand/PCR/southpark2.jpg)
How cupn00dles' night out went wrong.
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YOU GUYS, it's not santa who you should be worrying about.....it's the EASTER BUNNY!!! he hides little eggs everywhere filled with crack, and what not, and tells kids to go find them, so that he won't get blamed for actually GIVING the kids the drugs.
(http://www.crazedfanboy.com/nolansnewsstand/PCR/southpark2.jpg)
How cupn00dles' night out went wrong.
Well thats why he should be kept away from guns, easter bunny suits and the compendiums "special" candy stash.
I should know! I sponser em you Know!
"lalalala!!! BUY SPECIAL CANDIES TODAY!!! OR ILL JKILLL JOOOOOO!!!!!!111!!!!"
*side effects of special candies may include nausia, beleif you are spider man, an addiction to the "special" candies ad jingle, an obsession with chuck norris, constant fainting, blackouts, your family dissapearing after these "blackouts", more nausia, the thought that you are Zeality from another dimension, and acting like somebody from this forum.*
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i think this topic i posted got to outta hand :(
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i think this topic i posted got to outta hand :(
You knew it would happen. It was inevitable. :)
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i think this topic i posted got to outta hand :(
C'mon look at the type of topic you posted and try to figure out why it quickly got out of hand *if not already outta hand* like all the other threads here..........
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what i ment was. the topic is starting to talk about the easter bunny. its supposed too be about santa on crack. not the bunny doin white lines.
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Well It's not MY fault he found the compendiums special candies! uh....besides advertising them...... ummmmmm, yeeeaaahhhh...... theres a reason why! its uhhh....uhhh.... shut up! thats why! *pouts*