Chrono Compendium
Zenan Plains - Site Discussion => Polling => Topic started by: Delta Dragon on July 28, 2008, 04:25:24 pm
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Kind of a stupid question, but I was just curious. :)
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Magus: Every speech would be short, concise, true, and totally awesome. He'd go all-out to get the job done, but only if he actually cared about it or if it would help reach his goals...Instead of mindlessly searching for Osama, we'd (the states anyways) end up mindlessly searching for Schala though (she's in Tokyo~!!!)...>_>
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I'd go for Belthasar.. Scientific advancement would be pretty much my forte..
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I am sure a few countries already believe there is a Lavos or Lavos spawn already in power, "Destruction Rains from the Heavens!".
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Other: The Entity. Apparently, it's done an okay job so far.
If not, Poshul. I don't need to explain why.
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Other: The Entity. Apparently, it's done an okay job so far.
Yeah, thanks for the insane Dragons, bitch. Next time, just call on Captain Planet, m'kay...? >_<
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Other: The Entity. Apparently, it's done an okay job so far.
Yeah, thanks for the insane Dragons, bitch. Next time, just call on Captain Planet, m'kay...? >_<
Which brings me to another choice, Captain Planet. Sadly, he wasn't in CT or CC... or was he?
Who knows. The big blue man in tiny red pants could be the Entity.
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I'm pretty sure that if anyone from the Captain Planet cartoon was the Entity, it would clearly be Gaia...Oh nos! I know too much about that stupid cartoon! >_<
Well played, sir, well played.
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Lavos!
1) He could put an end to war!
2) All hail Lavos!
3) If he was running would you really NOT vote for him!
Lavos:"Scrrrrreeeccchhh, Vote for me! If not I shall rain destruction and destroy you all...after I'm done collected the needed genetic codes."
Me: "He seems like an honest Insect alien to me!"
Random Person: "But he's not a citizen!"
Lavos: Kills Random Person
Me: He's got my vote!
Magus: Every speech would be short, concise, true, and totally awesome. He'd go all-out to get the job done, but only if he actually cared about it or if it would help reach his goals...Instead of mindlessly searching for Osama, we'd (the states anyways) end up mindlessly searching for Schala though (she's in Tokyo~!!!)...>_>
My second choice for this very reason! I think it ould be more productive then what we have been doing! (I feel like we arn't even looking for Osama anymore!)
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(http://www.chronocompendium.com/images/wiki/1/1a/Votelavos08.png)
brought to you by the people for destruction rains from the heavens (& edmangoodrich)
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(http://www.chronocompendium.com/images/wiki/1/1a/Votelavos08.png)
brought to you by the people for destruction rains from the heavens (& edmangoodrich)
Did you make that, if not I wonder if the person who did would mind me shrinking it alittle then useing it in my sig,
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Balthazar! Balthazar! We need a person who is willing to manipulate everyone on the planet in order to reach his goals!
MANIPULATION I SAY!
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I trust in Magus's judgment. He'd be a pragmatic idealist.
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I trust in Magus's judgment. He'd be a pragmatic idealist.
Concurred; kudos for getting past the surface contradiction of "pragmatic idealist". :)
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Who voted for Zoah?
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An Interview with the candidates
CB: First off, let me thank you guys for coming out today to do this. I realize some of you have traveled thousands of miles and either waited or traveled many years to be here today. Chrono Trigger characters running as politicians has always had a certain subtle genius to it, and it will be interesting to hear from all of the candidates. Crono, since you're first on the list, I'll start the first question with you: what do you all plan to do about the criminal justice system?
Crono: No comment.
CB: eh, are you sure? US citizens say they aren't pleased that every single person who does so much as look at Marle gets shipped to Guantanamo Bay after having been sentenced 2 days solitary confinement.
Marle: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww!!!!! creepy people!!
Crono: ...eh, no comment.
CB: Oh, give me a break, Crono!
Crono: no comment!
Viper: I've been advised not to say anything about Guantanamo bay or the legal system. Sorry dude.
CB: ...-_-*...
Magus: Ugh... isn't it obvious to you that the current president is yakra in disguise? I mean even Marle could figure that out.
Marle: figure what out?
Magus: exactly. Next question, please.
Zoah: I THIN-
Magus: next question!
CB: Um, okay I wanna direct something at Belthasar. Belthasar, you're a senior citizen, right?
Belthasar: yes, why?
CB: You understand the plight of old people in our country, struggling with medicare and prescription drugs. Do you have any good ideas on how you would fight or reverse this unwanted side effect?
Belthasar: uh, well, I'm not really familiar with that. I come from the future where Machines are at war with humans and John Conner leads the resistance. I could tell you a lot about time travel though, which my running mate is all too familiar with.
Marle: OMGWTF ROBO!!! HOW R U?????
Robo: Pahaps I chan alahborate. Belthasaa, een da yeah 2008 AD, Seneah citizeens, despite doing dah best, cannat pey fah deh drugs.
Belthasar: oh! oh! I see. Well, I do have a solution for that as well. Copy their memory into new bodies, and they can keep living!
Magus: wait, wait a minute. I only know like five of those things! Where are you gonna get that many Nu?
Viper: Actually, they aren't that rare where I come from...
Magus: huh?
Zoah: THE NU, OR "BEACH BUM" AS WE LIKE TO CALL THEM, BREED QUITE DENSELY NEAR THE EL NIDO TRIANGLE. WE WOULD GLADLY SEND FARGO TO SHIP YOU SOME. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, FARGO?
Fargo: well, um... gee... I mean, I guess... but it's kind of a long way... eh... *takes a swig of Captain Morgan*
CB: hm, Fargo, you're an alchoholic. Why haven't you spoken up? you'd be perfect for the job.
Fargo: I'm getting cold feet... what if I can't do it? what if I just screw up?
Zoah: IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, I'M SURE HE CAN JUST...
Fargo: NO! out of my way, helmeted buffoon!! I'm not here to back down!!! Schala, I'm not gonna take your little shipping application either!!! I'm running for President, not UPS! Lower Swabby, anyone who joins my crew by voting for me will get all the whiskey they can hold, and all the gold their pockets can drink!! Nevermind the elderly!! they can die out like the people who can't read warning labels! Nevermind Iraq! we don't need their resources, we run on wind!! That's right, folks!! NEVERMIND OIL.
Magus: I don't care either way on the statement. it's not that I'm being pessimistic, it's just that while what you said was admittedly REALLY COOL, you took my sister's name in vain. You barely dodged the bullet old man.
Zoah: YUP. NOW HE'S DRUNK.
Frog: Thou canst not fuel the rouge with alchohol. Tis immoral and dishonest. The true candidate dost not requiresthine such Machiavelian measures to-
Magus: FROG SECRETLY WORKS FOR AL-QUEIDA!!
Frog: Magus consumeth infants, and slayed his own comrades in the land of Vietnam!!!
Magus: YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!!
Frog: I hast pictures!!
Zoah: SHUUUUT UUUUUUUUUPPPP!!!!!
Magus: ...that wasn't necessary, Zoah.
Zoah: DON'T GIVE ME ANY LIP, DRACULA.
CB: Viper, you were Magus's commanding officer. can you confirm any of this?
Viper: That's classified information. I'm sorry, I can't say anything about the elderly either.
Serge: I remember when old people could afford their medicine... we would laugh, play, dance in the backyard... I wonder whatever became of grandma's old tire swing... we would have so much fun upon it... swinging back and forth... defying the stars themselves with our ascent...
CB: Serge, do you have any actual answers to the question?
Serge: huh? oh... no comment.
CB:What!? But what about all that flashback crap?
Serge: nooooo comment.
Frog: Perhaps the valiant deeds of a charitable organization or mayhaps a table of knights canst protect the elderly.
Magus: Who cares? They're old, they smell, they're gonna die anyway.
Frog: Hath ye no elderly figure in thine life, pale one? none to tell thee of thine adventures sailing across the stars, or of old war battles?
Serge: When I was young, we would have such free love in the open fields... I'll never forget her name... but what was it? It was the age of adventure... the age of friends... the age of the summer of 69... now, I need arthritis medicine, and being over 30, cannot trust myself any longer...
CB: So, you're saying your policy is "don't trust anyone over 30?"
Serge: ...no comment.
Magus: all my elderly figures were BS philosophers and sociologists. Imagine having Karl Marx for a grandpa. That's the kinda thing you'll get if you elect Belthasar! Eternal life... at the COST OF YOUR SOUL...
Marle: I'm not gonna vote for that dumb old man then!!!
Belthasar: I am not a marxist! I offer a valid alternative to the human body!
Magus: yeah, when I get to be 85 and need plastic diapers, then I'll pretend to care.
CB: Gentlemen, please! let's change the subject. Iraq?
Viper: YEAH!!! something I can relate to!! Well, since you asked, we've got a powerful nuclear warhead powered by a mysterious red rock. it's one of a kind, and if anyone of you even thinks of taking it, I'll invade your hometown and destroy you!!!!!
Crono: ...
Viper: What!!? You wanna go, Vegeta?
Crono: no comment.
Viper: just keep saying that!! your friends aren't gonna get my warhead!! Elect me, and I'll upgrade security for the US, starting with the white house. it'll have a stable full of Dragons, a mad scientist, and an android with LASER HAIR. Besides, I'll make that commie in the blue my slave.
Belthasar: I am not a commie!!! and you haven't even mentioned Iraq!
Viper: what more is there to say? I'll take all their oil, then CRUSH THEM WITH MY SUPERIOR FIREPOWER!! and if anyone objects, I'll use my red rock on them too!!!
Marle: well that isn't what I'D do.
CB: and what would you do?
Marle: I think it's dumb and stupid how they make the women all dress like Ninjas!! I'd give them a new fashion!! and all the houses would be pink!!! and everyone would have a puppy, so they couldn't even think about blowing each other up!!! Right Crono?? CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Crono: ...n.. no comment. (*sweatdrop)
Belthasar: IF I MAY SAY SOMETHING PLEASE... ...yes, well... I can build a time machine and stop this conflict altogether. This is all obviously a big misunderstanding, and I may even save people who have died in this war.
Zoah: I HAVE NO COMMENT. I PREFER TO CONCENTRATE ON THE HOMELAND.
Fargo: Screw Iraq!!! Screw OIL.
Frog: 'Tis clear to me that the attack on the US twas completely one-sided, and completely unprovoked. Thine foe is in the wrong to accuse us of being enemies, and will be defeated, for as I hath learn't, America the beautiful is not capable of evil.
Magus: ...and there you have it folks. The perfect reason not to elect Frog. I didn't even have to make it up!
CB: mmhm... Magus, your thoughts? please.
Magus: right... well... (makes himself comfortable in chair) best place to start is by getting back to the basics. We find this Osama guy, turn him into a frog, and put him face to face with our Frog.
Frog: "Oh, say can you see?? By the dawn's early light..."
CB: Frog, please don't try to drown out Magus. some of us are trying to listen.
Frog: Well, if thou dost not like the American Anthem, thou art surely a terrorist!
Magus: ...you know what? I'm not gonna say anything else about all this. all I have to do is watch Frog lose by himself.
Frog: The colors of this thy beautiful land, they dost not run!!
Marle: yeah!!! Frog is an all American hero!!!
Crono: ...no comment...
CB: hey, wasn't there another candidate?
(loud rumbling can be heard outside, followed by the sound of war, pestilence, and four horsemen. Then, the door opens, and what appears to be a fishman in a space suit walks in)
Lavos: Sorry I'm late, hit some traffic coming up through the mantle. So, wassup?
Magus: (smiles amusedly) wait a minute, isn't THIS the guy that can shoot lasers out of his nipples? DUDE!
Lavos: Yes, yes I am -^^- and if you vote for me, I'll spare your life.
Magus: funny, I was about to say the exact same thing. (inches towards the door)
CB: Magus, where are you going? we're not done!
Magus: I uh, gotta go to the bathroom. outside. (runs in the direction of Lavos's shell)
CB: that was odd... anyways, Lavos, the subjects are old people, Iraq, and criminal justice. how would you handle these issues?
Lavos: Well, first I'd just kill everyone in Iraq in one blow. That'd take care of that. Then, I'd kill this cocky militant here and take back the WARHEAD THAT HE STOLE FROM ME!!
Viper: you?? I found this rock in Guardia Castle!!! ...I mean, uh...
Crono: !?
CB: Crono? Did you have this first?
Crono: ...n-no comment.
Lavos: as for old people, there will be no old people. everyone would live forever. Something I was glad to offer in my last campaign in Old Zealand before I found out their prime minister was stealing money from me. Needless to say, they had to make a New Zealand.
Zoah: SOME HAVE CALLED YOUR TACTICS BRUTAL AND CRITICIZED YOUR HIVE MENTALITY. PERSONALLY, I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE CALLED INDIVIDUALS, WHICH IS WHY I PROMISED THE ART GRANT SHOULD I BE ELECTED.
Lavos: What do I care? Do as I say or I'll get in my Gundam outside and shoot you with my nipples. What do you say to that?? You have nothing to say!!
Serge: I remember those days well, when Gundam Wing would come on Toonami... Oddly, I am reminded somehow of Dragonball Z as well. The days of their airtime together were glorious, and allowed be to fantasize about the characters of both. I miss those days, when we could laugh, cry, love, hate, have tea, smile, and make love in the fields...
Lavos: ...the hell!?
Serge: erm... no comment.
Lavos: No, not you!! (points to his shell outside) hey you!!! What do you think you're doing!!
(out from behind pops Magus and Schala)
Magus: aha!!! I knew you were hiding her in here somewhere!!
Schala: ...Proof that sometimes you can trust the tabloids.
Lavos: You were fused with my shell!!!
Schala: Fused!? You DUCT TAPED me to the inside of it! Without that big suit of yours, you really are helpless.
Lavos: I, I, uh... so... you had the Chrono Cross, huh?
(Magus pulls out an ordinary switchblade knife) : this??? uh, sure... whatever... Oh, by the way, your shell will self destruct in 1 second (boom) oh there it goes.
CB: Magus, it looks like you've taken the center stage once again. is there anything you and your running mate would like to say in closing?
Magus: I don't know if I can beat drunk Fargo in the election, but I can at least assure you that Frog and Lavos are far too weak, and will only strive to be weaker. In my closing statement, I'd simply like to thank Max Factor for my white makeup. And for my new running mate, Schala. Elect me, and maybe she'll tell you where Amelia Earhardt, Jimmy Hoffa, and Elvis are, too!
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Did you make that, if not I wonder if the person who did would mind me shrinking it alittle then useing it in my sig,
Uh, no, I didn't make it (I said who made it in my post though)...Check out the fan art section sometime...Although from what I remember, the dude who made it did so for some similar joke in the forums at one point...I don't remember where or when (I'm sure someone else does?)...
And sorry, Captain B, I didn't read your lil fanfic about this poll thread...>_>
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Did you make that, if not I wonder if the person who did would mind me shrinking it alittle then useing it in my sig,
Uh, no, I didn't make it (I said who made it in my post though)...Check out the fan art section sometime...Although from what I remember, the dude who made it did so for some similar joke in the forums at one point...I don't remember where or when (I'm sure someone else does?)...
And sorry, Captain B, I didn't read your lil fanfic about this poll thread...>_>
Oh ok, oh and read the fanfic it's funny. Even if I didn't completely agree with it (although the serge parts were defenently my favs!)
I am like the only one who voted Lavos! Come on don't you people have any vision for the future! Lavos offers us a fantasic change! Regect Lavos and You reject your future! Reject Lavos and Reject yourselves (suddenly realiseation of A PERFECT PLOT FOR The idea he had about...oh never mind this isn't the plACE FOR THAT)
Anywho Love Lavos and he shall Love you*
Warning
Love may not save you, Infact most will be completly devestated in Lavos wake!
May also cause death, plauge, a dystopian future, ALWAYS BEING HUNGRY, and baicly the staganation of the entire human race.
(anyhow I'm tired, goodnight!)
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Well, I'd have to vote for Lavos I figure a giant insectoid alien should rule over us pathetic creatures.
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Magus. Look at how he ruled the mystics. I think we can trust him.
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Magus. Look at how he ruled the mystics. I think we can trust him.
Yes cause having a ruler who starts (or atleast pushes for) a war so he can use us to achive his own personal goals has worked so far -_-
althogh really he wouldn't do a bad job I'm sure.
I still go for Lavos (think of the Long term people!)
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I don't think Magus "pushed" for the war...hell, I think the humans are the ones who really started it...but that's all conjecture anyways...But, anyways, why would the war be beneficial to Magus' plans?
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Look at how he ruled the mystics. I think we can trust him.
Pick one and go with it.
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Two things...
One- That Lavos poster is awesome.
Two- I'd choose Belthasar. He pretty much was behind a lot of Chrono Cross' events as well as Chrono trigger. Guy's a mastermind! Either that or Robo, since he has the most experience(over 800 years).
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Either that or Robo, since he has the most experience(over 800 years).
Does experience in farming really translate that well into politics? >_<
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I mean that he's old so he knows a lot.
He had to have learned more than just farming if he came up with an entity being behind everything. The farming couldn't have taken that entire amount of time!
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Either that or Robo, since he has the most experience(over 800 years).
Does experience in farming really translate that well into politics? >_<
Yes!
1) He's experienced with dealing with bull crap
2) He knows how to handle someone who thinks he's the cock of the walk.
3) He's good for the lumber industry.
4) He's environmentally friendly.
Shall I go on?
Besides, we have a long history of wonderful electronic Farmer overlords, like Hal, GLaDOS, Mother Brain the Scarcrow from Oz, Ol George Washington and a lot of the other American Founding Fathers, Herakles, etc.
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Good call. I didn't mean farming wise, but now I'm not sure.
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Well if you were not referring to farming than he might not be the best choice in age. His body is old but he was most likely operational for only a short time.
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Nah, Robo has a good 12,1020ish years left in him.
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Now that I think about it, I could totally get behind Prometheus' steampunk platform.
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With everyone starting to rise to Robo, maybe he should be added to the campaign. I honestly can't even remember my old vote!
Two things...
One- That Lavos poster is awesome.
Two- I'd choose Belthasar. He pretty much was behind a lot of Chrono Cross' events as well as Chrono trigger. Guy's a mastermind! Either that or Robo, since he has the most experience(over 800 years).
Oh yeah...Now I remember.
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I would like to nominate Toma. I don't need a reason. :D kthnxbai.
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Toma, let's see...
Adventerous, brave(what's the difference), ruggid, tough, and doesn't like reptites. I'm for his campaign somewhat(although I'm still Belthasar or Robo)except for Toma's dislike of Reptites. That means no Dragons and that means no Harle and no Harle would make ONSLAUGHT a very sad little [insert gender].
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Toma disliked Reptites...?
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Giant's Claw, when he went in he left a note pretty early on saying how he'd avoid the monsters, and Giant's Claw was full of Reptites. They kinda drove him to the point of suicide. I'd understand the Rust Tyrano but he didn't even get that far. he must've gotten in one battle at the entrance and then, who knows?
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Cause they were trying to kill him, hell I hate anyone who is trying to kill me white, black, human, or reptite.
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Cause they were trying to kill him, hell I hate anyone who is trying to kill me white, black, human, or reptite.
A-HA! So you admit it! You're just racist against murderers! >_>
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Well, V... everyone's a little bit racist, sometimes. Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find no one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face; everyone makes judgments based on race. If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit, even though we all know that it's wrong, maybe it would help us get along. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKg_ca3AgW0&feature=related)
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But we do not know if the Reptites wanted to kill him! Cause of how far in the cave he got...
Now that I think about it, maybe he was just terrified of caves? Cause where he left the note., I'm pretty sure if you jumped into the hole next to that note you'd die. He snapped pretty quickly. Plus he always fails to collect stuff(except for beer tabs)...
Which also reminds me of another of his qualities. He's an alchoholic, so we want an alchoholic for president?
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But we do not know if the Reptites wanted to kill him!
It's simple, really, though. Reptites want to kill humans. Toma was human. Thus the Reptites want to kill Toma.
Which also reminds me of another of his qualities. He's an alchoholic, so we want an alchoholic for president?
I don't respect a President unless he IS an alcoholic~!!
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Well of course, as your sig says, you are evil.
Of course, so am I, so...
Dammit!