Author Topic: Chrono Trigger: Episode I - Chapters 10 - 13  (Read 1014 times)

Lennis

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 367
    • View Profile
Chrono Trigger: Episode I - Chapters 10 - 13
« on: August 23, 2012, 10:38:25 pm »
Hello all!  My four-book Chrono Trigger novel project continues!  So sorry about the long wait since the last set of chapters was released.  I hope everyone thinks the wait was worth it.

Before you peruse the much-delayed new chapters, I should make note of a few important corrections I've made to the previous chapters - corrections that have a direct bearing on the new material.
(Note: The corrected versions of these chapters are not currently posted, as they are presently little different from the original postings.)

Toward the end of Chapter 5, Magus was described as the "Great Betrayer".  I wrote this to drive home the fact that Magus is clearly human and not Mystic, despite the pointed ears.  I decided to change this because that moniker suggests that Magus was either from Guardia originally or had served it in some official capacity - which clearly did not happen.  His title has since been changed to "Dark Lord" (not exactly original, but fitting).  It is usually humans who describe him this way.  Mystics usually describe him more formally as the "Savior of Je'saal" - Je'saal being the term by which the collection of demi-human races that make up the Mystics refer themselves.

In Chapter 6, Sergeant Kensington mentions that it had been "fifteen years to the day" when Cyrus first came to the Knights seeking royal service.  I decided that this would make Cyrus (and Glenn) a little too young to have achieved the esteemed position that he did by the year 590 (when he is killed by Magus).  In my revised timeline, Cyrus was 17 years old when he enlisted with the Knights, and Glenn was 16.  War with the Mystics broke out six years later, and the year after that (589) Cyrus is promoted to Captain of the Knights of Guardia - the highest position among them.  I believe a man barely past twenty (as Cyrus was in my original timeline) would not be considered for such a lofty position unless the enemy were breaking down the gates of castle, and perhaps not even then.  At the time of his death, Cyrus is 25.  Glenn is transformed into a frog by Magus at age 24, so when he meets Crono and Lucca in the year 600, he is 34 years old.  I believe this age most accurately describes Glenn's level of experience, and I felt it was important to have an older character as part of the core group.  In Chapter 10, Glenn (as "Frog") will clearly state that he had been in royal service for 18 years, though not in what capacity.

Guards at the Millennial Fair were generically referred to as soldiers in Chapters 1 and 2.  I think the term "constable" is a more accurate description, since their duties consist mainly of law enforcement in the city.  The change is reflected in Chapter 13.

For those who are new, or otherwise unfamiliar with this project, here are the links to the previous nine chapters:

http://www.chronocompendium.com/Forums/index.php/topic,8892.0.html

http://www.chronocompendium.com/Forums/index.php/topic,9376.0.html

Chapter 10 begins shortly after the initial battle in Manoria Cathedral.  I greatly look forward to feedback.  Happy reading!

nommet

  • Iokan (+1)
  • *
  • Posts: 9
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Trigger: Episode I - Chapters 10 - 13
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2012, 03:20:22 am »
Okay, just finished chapter 11. Such a good payoff! The escape from Manoria and the underground ruins was exciting and climactic. Even so, the chapter ends on a small cliffhanger, which is to say that you do a great job of manipulating and controlling the tension, decreasing it gradually rather than letting us feel relief right away.

While reading this, it dawned on me that Crono's earlier cockiness is indeed justified. After all, at that point he's young and yet unhumbled; the events he'd so far faced were hardly grueling compared to what came in Manoria. That my mind was changed on that matter is a testament to how much I felt the action, too.

nommet

  • Iokan (+1)
  • *
  • Posts: 9
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Trigger: Episode I - Chapters 10 - 13
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2012, 03:36:32 am »
Finished chapter 13! I greatly enjoyed every moment reading this. Eagerly awaiting more.

Lennis

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 367
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Trigger: Episode I - Chapters 10 - 13
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2012, 07:42:58 pm »
Thank you for the feedback.  It's greatly appreciated.  What I'm most curious about, though, is how people feel about my portrayal of Marle up to this point.  I wanted to make her into a character of some complexity instead of resorting to the classic stereotype.  Does Marle still feel like Marle, the way I have written her?  (Chapter 12 takes place mainly from her point of view.)

nommet

  • Iokan (+1)
  • *
  • Posts: 9
    • View Profile
Re: Chrono Trigger: Episode I - Chapters 10 - 13
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2012, 11:31:27 pm »
For sure; her actions have the same air of mischievousness and tomboyishness that characterizes her in the game -- and, on the other side of the coin, she demonstrates a sense of herself and her place in the world which she takes seriously. The game does not accentuate this latter characteristic as often, admittedly, but your portrayal of her (and her motivation/background) feels perfectly fitting. It was definitely a favorite part of mine, getting to know Marle. I think you add complexity to many aspects of the story in this same fashion -- which is a way of saying you take liberties, because you pretty much have to, obviously -- and it's always been to positive and natural effect imo.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2012, 01:23:27 am by nommet »