Author Topic: The Real World - Chrono Trigger  (Read 6761 times)

GenesisOne

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The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« on: July 23, 2009, 06:18:39 pm »
CRONO:     It’s the same show with a new twist.

MARLE:    Seven people living under one roof.

LUCCA:    Getting to know each other better.

FROG:      Privy to their flaws and faults.

ROBO:    Tolerating their illogical actions.

MAGUS:    Wishing they could get a moment’s peace.

AYLA:     This "Real World – Chrono Trigger."

EPISODE ONE: Ayla’s Underwear, Frog’s Speech, and Lucca’s New Invention

MARLE (Interview):   Ugh! You’d think that since we’re considered adults by Guardia law, we’d act like adults.  Not with these guys.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Ayla and Lucca stand before the others.

AYLA:   Ayla spare buck skin gone.  Ayla leave skin in magic water cave last night, take long sleep, skin gone next morning.

LUCCA:   Okay, which one of you perverts took it?

All the male characters look at Crono.

CRONO:   What?  You think I did it?

FROG:   Thou drawest a most hasty judgment.

MARLE:   She does have a thing for you, Crono… are you hinting at her?

CRONO:   I’m not a pervert!

ROBO:   Perhaps your carnal male instincts were stimulated by your testosterone levels, thereby causing you to—

CRONO:   Shut it, Robo!  You’re not helping!

AYLA:   Crono take Ayla spare skin with no ask?  Ayla give Crono payment!

Ayla picks up an end desk with one hand and chucks it at Crono.  He ducks in the nick of time.  

He stands up and draws his katana.  Ayla puts up her fists and prepares to fight.  The others protest ad-lib.


MAGUS (Interview):   …I took her spare skin.  Just to see how she’d react.  Girls are so uptight.

*     *     *     *     *     *

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Frog is wiping off the counter-tops after a lunch.  Robo enters.

ROBO:   Good afternoon, Glenn.

FROG:   (Throws his rag down) Refrain thy tongue from mine true moniker!  ‘Tis a past of pain and suffering that it invokes in my mind.

ROBO:   My apologies, Frog, but robots do not have tongues, so it’s illogical to say—

FROG:   And for that matter, what acts of labor dost thou pursue ‘round these quarters? You sit at your desk and pen away with your   calculating devices for hours whilst we toil ourselves to the bone bettering this place—

ROBO:   I do the taxes and balance the checkbooks so that money-ignorant flesh bags such as you and the others don’t end up with the IRS giving us an audit and losing hundreds of dollars in hard-earned cash.  It’s the least I can do seeing how I’m the token robot in this blasted house!

ROBO pushes some steam out of his exhaust pipe.  FROG is scared speechless.

FROG:   …what be an audit?

Robo heaves a sigh and exits the room.

FROG:   …and what be the I-R-S?

FROG (Interview):   *Sigh* I long desire for my original talking style in the Japanese version of Chrono Trigger.  Twas better to speak like a bastard than a dead playwright.

*     *     *     *     *     *

CRONO (Interview):   The girls hate me…which could mean they love me.   But then again, I don’t know the first thing about women.  Hey, it’s not too late to learn.

Crono picks up a copy of Men Are from Porre, Women Are from Medina and reads it.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Crono is walking along.  Lucca comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.

CRONO:   (Spins around) What, Lucca?

LUCCA:   I need your help with something.

CRONO:    Can’t it wait?  I’m busy right now.

A series of low beeps and boops come from behind Crono.  Crono whips around.

Lucca is holding what looks like a spin-off of the poltergeist scanner from Ghostbusters.

CRONO:   What the—!?

LUCCA:   It’s a portable lie detector.  It can read heart rates, skin moisture, core temperatures, and can detect fidgety movement.  Oh, you’re lying, by the way.   

CRONO:   …is this what you spent our money on?  Building this dumb thing?

Low beeps and boops emanate from the machine.

LUCCA:   This dumb thing says that you don’t mean that.  Did you steal Ayla's underwear?

CRONO:   No!  Go bug Robo or something.(Walks away from Lucca)

High beeps and boops emanate from the machine.

LUCCA:   Good idea.

INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

Lucca is holding the lie detector up to Robo.

LUCCA:   Did you steal Ayla’s underwear?

ROBO:   No, I did not.

High beeps and boops emanate from the machine.  Lucca sighs and walks away.

ROBO (Interview):   I told her the truth, but she should know that us robot’s are immune to lie detectors. I just projected the artificial biorhythms to convey “truth” on her illogical machine.  This is how I stay above the humans.

*     *     *     *     *     *

End of Episode One.  To be continued…(I hope)
« Last Edit: August 01, 2009, 09:45:47 pm by GenesisOne »

mav

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2009, 07:14:48 pm »
Oh man, I'm a sucker for Reality TV spoofs--well done Genisis, well done.

Katie Skyye

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2009, 12:15:44 pm »
XDD Robo is all 'superior than thou'...

TriforceofEternity

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2009, 01:27:38 am »
These kind of fics usually turn out to be very naught so you lost my respect from line 1 on your fic.

Bye bye. :picardno

GenesisOne

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2009, 02:32:35 am »
Well, I'm sorry, TriforceofEternity.

On the other hand, I can easily count you comment for naught since you stopped reading at Line 1 of my hard-worked parody.

Episode 2 is on its way, for those who are interested.



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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2009, 02:44:48 am »
I, for one, was very entertained. The confession room dialogue is great.

Looking forward to Episode 2.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2009, 03:16:56 am »
I'm going to make the thread naughty.

Sex penis tits fuck boobs ass

 :hellyeah

There, prophecy fulfilled.

GenesisOne

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2009, 09:36:11 pm »
CRONO:    It’s the same show with a new twist.

MARLE:     Seven people living under one roof.

LUCCA:       Getting to know each other better.

FROG:       Privy to their flaws and faults.

ROBO:       Tolerating their illogical actions.

MAGUS:    Wishing they could get a moment’s peace.

AYLA:       This Real World – Chrono Trigger.

EPISODE TWO: Magus’ Sentence, Crono’s Scheme, and Ayla’s Underwear Part 2

MAGUS (Interview):       There have been rumors about how I got a new job for my sentence here, and I’m going to clear one thing—

INTERVIEWER:      Did you say “sentence”?

MAGUS:      Yes, I did.  

INTERVIEWER:      Why?

MAGUS:   Because it feels like one.  I could be searching for my sister right now.  Instead, I have to babysit three teenagers, a vengeful frog, a spiteful Stanley Steamer, and a cranky Miss Universe!  It’s as low I can get!

INTERVIEWER:      …nice alliteration.

MAGUS:      Thanks.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY  

Crono is watching with his legs propped up on the coffee table.  Marle walks it and turns it off.

CRONO:      Hey!  What the heck!?

MARLE:         Why haven’t you gotten a job yet?

CRONO:      Hey, I don’t need a job.  I got it all figured out.

MARLE:   And for that matter, the Epoch’s out of fuel.  Do you know who drove it last?

Crono brings his legs down and sits up.

CRONO:   Don’t know, but listen here.  I don’t need a job because I’ve seen to it that we will never worry about money ever again.

Marle stares at Crono.

MARLE:   Where did you take the Epoch?

CRONO:    I never took it anywhere!

Low beeps and boops emanate from behind the couch.  Crono peers behind the couch.

CRONO:   What the—!?  Go away, Lucca!

LUCCA:   You’re not a good liar, Crono.  Where’d you take the Epoch?

CRONO:   And you suck at eavesdropping!

High beeps and boops emanate from Lucca’s device.

Robo enters the room.  Crono spots him and buries his head in his knees.

ROBO:   What commotion are you three engaged in?

MARLE:   Crono’s not telling us where he took the Epoch.

ROBO:   Oh, yes.  I was to mention that while in sleep mode, my surveillance modules recorded Crono the previous evening sneaking out to the Epoch with a briefcase full of monetary units.  Sometimes, I just don’t understand human behavior.

Robo exits the room.  Marle and Lucca look at Robo and then at Crono.

Crono is still buried in his knees.  

CRONO:   I hate my life.

High beeps and boops emanate from Lucca’s device.

LUCCA (Interview):   Ah, yes.  The old “time-traveling compound investment” trick.  Wish I’d have thought of it sooner, seeing how I’m the brainiest of the group.

ROBO (Interview):    She’s not the smartest one of the flesh bags.

INT. DINING ROOM – EVENING

Ayla is eating a large mutton with a stone bowl of Jurassic Pork Soup.  She seems to be crying.

Frog enters the dining room.

FROG:   Tears?  In a strong young one’s eyes? What woe hath befallen thee?

AYLA:   *Sniffle* Ayla look for spare skin all day, no find.  Eat away sadness.

Ayla continues to munch on the mutton.

FROG:   Now Ayla, I be no savant in health of the body, but such course of action canst be of use for your ailments.

AYLA:   *Sniffle* Ayla know sad eating wrong, but Ayla no know what else Ayla do.

Ayla sets down the mutton and starts to slurp her soup.

FROG:   Be strong, young Ayla.  Hast thou searched all the environs for your missing article of clothing?

AYLA:   *Sniffle* Ayla no miss article.  Ayla miss spare skin.

Ayla continues to slurp her soup.

FROG:   *Sigh* Mayhaps a later appointment when thou arenst engaged in ruthless consumption will be more productive.

Frog exits the room.  Ayla puts down her now-empty soup bowl.

AYLA (Interview):   Ayla no understand.  Ayla good, no hurt others except when Ayla life in danger.  What make man do thing to Ayla?

MAGUS (Interview):   She still doesn’t know I did it.  I put it in the one place where she will never find it.  You can only guess where that is.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Ayla’s spare skin is barely sticking out of the sealed subwoofer of the home entertainment system.

*     *     *     *     *     *

End of Episode Two.  To be continued…(I hope)


« Last Edit: August 03, 2009, 03:25:24 am by GenesisOne »

mav

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2009, 12:29:37 pm »
Hah, great stuff man. Everything seems pretty good: characterization, voice, etc. Keep at it.
ROBO (Interview):    She’s not the smartest one in the flesh bags.
That line was undoubtedly the best one in this part. I love Robo.

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2009, 02:33:25 pm »
Eh, I thought this one was a little lackluster compared to the first honestly. Still good, but it lost a lot of the natural flow the first installment seemed to give off. Keep at it, tough.

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2009, 04:51:29 pm »
I don't typically read fanfics, even from here, but I saw the title and that got me interested in reading it. It's a parody and I'm usually game for those, fan or director written.

I've actually grown quite enthralled with this, so do please continue.

^And that's the polite and intelligent way of saying "OMGZ AWSUME! RIGHT MOAR PLZZZ!"

GenesisOne

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2009, 03:28:04 am »

I'm always open to constructive criticism.  Anything to make this parody work for the readers and give me inspiration for future episode ideas.

x_XTacTX_x, I'll work harder to maintain the flow of the first installment.  Thanks for your observation.

GenesisOne

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2009, 12:49:09 am »

For anyone still interested in this parody series, I'm starting on Episode 3.

It should be done and up by around Thursday.

mav

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2009, 01:28:31 am »
Awesome, I'll be sure to check back then.

GenesisOne

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Re: The Real World - Chrono Trigger
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2009, 05:27:46 pm »
CRONO:    It’s the same show with a new twist.

MARLE:    Seven people living under one roof.

LUCCA:    Getting to know each other better.

FROG:      Privy to their flaws and faults.

ROBO:     Tolerating their illogical actions.

MAGUS:    Wishing they could get a moment’s peace.

AYLA:     This “Real World – Chrono Trigger.”

Episode 3 – Team Budget Crisis, Robo’s Upgrade, and Ayla’s Underwear Part 3

MARLE (Interview):   So we’re officially out of money and we’re only halfway through the month.  I can only guess why and how we lost it all so quickly.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Everyone assembles and takes a random seat, except Magus who decides to remain standing.  Marle stands before the others with a flip chart titled “Money Waste: Who’s to Blame?”

FROG:      From what occasion doth this assembly form?

MARLE:   Good question, Frog.  We’re here... because we’re broke.

An array of doubt and disbelief murmur amongst the group, except Magus who keeps quiet.

MARLE:   But wait a minute! I’ve been crunching the numbers and I think I might know where the money was mostly spent.

ROBO:   I object to your passive voice.  I can “crunch numbers” more impartially than any human in this room can, and I can conclude, with the most accuracy, which human spend the most money.

LUCCA:   Robo, I am sick to Porre with you calling us human as if you don’t have a soul.

ROBO:   Your objection does not compute, Lucca.  Are you perhaps appealing to my prejudices instead of my artificial intelligence?

MARLE:   Stay on topic, everyone!  

LUCCA:   (under her breath) Key word “artificial”.

MARLE:   After crunching the numbers, I finally know who’s responsible.  Would anyone like to confess to his or her impulse buying?

CRONO:
   Well, it can’t be Ayla.  She’s got more into “impulse” than “buying”.

Ayla, being seated next to Crono, delivers a swift punch to Crono’s shoulder.

CRONO:   (Rubs his shoulder) See what I mean?

AYLA:      Ayla know how money work.  Ayla also know how money make brain melt.  

CRONO:   For the last time, I didn’t steal your stupid underwear!

High beeps and boops emanate nearby.  Lucca, sitting across from Crono, holds up her machine.

LUCCA:   Sorry, Ayla.  He’s telling the truth.

Crono advances toward Lucca as he pulls out his katana.

CRONO:   Put that retarded machine away before I break it!  

MARLE:   Hey, no weapons!

LUCCA:   Fine with me!

Lucca puts down her machine and whips out her index finger. In response, Crono throws his katana off to the side and raises his entire right hand.

The others stand up and protests something about “using magic in the house”... except Magus who just stands there and says nothing.

LUCCA (Interview):   What can I say?  The meeting was a disaster.  Hey, at least I didn’t set the living room on fire.  Best part is nobody knows where our team’s monthly budget money went.

ROBO (Interview):   Lucca spent it all on funding her illogical device.  Human behavior never ceases to amaze me.

INT. ROBO’S ROOM – LATER

Robo sits on the ground as if in hibernate mode.  He has a coaxial cable connected to his neck.  The cable runs to a wireless hub router with antennae sticking out.  

The lights on the router flicker as if Robo is downloading something.

Magus quietly enters the room, staring at Robo.  He pulls out his sickle, makes some small gestures, mutters some words in Zealian, stops, and exits the room.


MAGUS (Interview):   Sad as it is to say, the robot is the only one I can relate to in this forsaken household.  I mean, not just because he can mimic shadow magic with his lasers.  I mean it as he’s as smart as I am... maybe even smarter.  

INTERVIEWER:   What spell did you cast on him?

MAGUS (Interview):   I gave him the ability to understand human behavior...for what it’s worth.

ROBO (Interview):   I was actually downloading some episodes of “Battlestar Galactica” from Demonoid.  However, for some unexplained reason, I now have a new string of coding in my hard drive.  It reads like this:

----------------------------------------------------------
‘Robo understands human behavior v1
Sub HumanBehavior_Comprehend
    BehaviorUnderstood(1)
       If(State.Understood = True) Then
              Set LastHumanBehavior = save
       If(State.Understood = False) Then
              Set LastHumanBehavior = delete
       End If
End Sub

----------------------------------------------------------

ROBO (Interview):   I don’t know how this code string got past my firewall, but I just might give it a trial run and see how it functions.

EXT. ROOFTOP – THE NEXT DAY

The household is a split-level duplex, the likes of which stands ten stories high.

Crono is out training with a bamboo sword, working up a sweat.


CRONO (Interview):   Sometimes, the best way to unwind is through training.  You can put all your anger into using your weapon against an invisible enemy.  Who knows? You might even find a real enemy to strike.

Crono keeps swinging his bamboo sword, then spots a pigeon about ten feet away. He performs the Cyclone technique at the pigeon and knocks it off the building.  Feathers trail behind it.

Crono chuckles and tosses down his bamboo sword, wiping his hands afterwards.


CRONO:   (To himself) Cool.  Now for my real sword.

Crono reaches for his katana, but only feels his scabbard.  He scans around the rooftop.

CRONO:   (To the camera man) Where’s my katana?

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Crono’s sword is sticking out of the subwoofer of the Home Entertainment Center.  The side of cracked and Ayla’s spare skin is protruding out in a bundle.

A hand reaches out and picks it up.  It’s Ayla!  She smiles and cuddles her spare skin.

She looks over at the katana, bends down, and sniffs the handle like a dog.  She frowns.


AYLA (Interview):   Crono dead.

*      *      *      *      *      *

End of Episode 3.  To be continued... (I hope)


« Last Edit: August 14, 2009, 07:25:24 pm by GenesisOne »