Author Topic: Chrono Helix (script)  (Read 25009 times)

alfadorredux

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Chrono Helix (script)
« on: July 04, 2009, 10:21:55 pm »
Don't know how worthwhile posting this is, especially after my last action
in this part of the forum was pulling apart someone else's fanfic in
excruciating detail, but my ineptitude might at least provide meager amusement
for someone. Anyway...

This started out as the potential script for a Chrono Cross mod that will
likely never now be attempted. It was intended to include:
-an actual speaking part for Serge, although he still (thinks) more than he talks
-Magus and Dario as playable characters (Guile is considered as a separate
 character and is not replaced by Magus)
-up to six PCs present in each cutscene (although the combat party would be limited to
 the normal three)
-elimination of some PCs who were not useful storywise (Funguy, frex) and demotion
 of some others to NPCs
-additional backstory for the characters who survive the cull

Blocks of text in italics are the same as they were in the original CC script.
How much there is of that sort of stuff varies from chapter to chapter. In some places,
I cut what was mostly game-tutorial material wholesale rather than bother to recopy it.
Markup in later chapters with decision trees is...hopefully self-explanatory. I'm going
to try my best to smoothe the messy bits out as I post.

I got as far as midway through the Termina/Guide to Viper Manor chapter before shelving
this (although some later material dealing with the Guile/Magus story branch also
exists). How much of it I post depends on how loudly people scream at me to stop. ;P

Chrono Cross as it should have been, or the nightmare of an insane purple cat? I leave
that for you to decide.



1. An Ancient Fort - Chasing phantoms in one's dreams...
==========================================================
Fort Dragonia (Dream)
==========================================================

[FMV:In the middle of a large mountain range lies
a huge fortress.  Surrounding the fortress are six dragon statues.]

[An elevator comes up to a hallway with two exits.  Three people step out
of the elevator.]

{Member}
   What is it,
   Serge?
   You look troubled.
   this is it.
   There's no turning
   back, now!
   
Kid:
   Oi!
   C'mon Serge,
   {Member}!


[Kid turns and faces Serge.]

Kid:
   Just you wait, Lynx!
   Today's gonna be the
   day of reckonin'!!!
   Say yer prayers!
   ...Not that it'll
   do ya any good!!!

Kid:
   Heh-heh-heh......
   HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!
   
{Member}
   Serge!


Serge:
   (Huh? What? How did I get here?
   Who are these people? And why
   does it feel like I should know
   know them? Well, I guess I
   should just go along with things
   for now. At least they seem to
   have some idea of what's going
   on.)

[Serge comes out of the elevator and joins them.
They make their way through the first bit of the fort
and arrive on the balcony in the room with the
switch / crystal]

{Member}:
   What's that
   crystal like thing?

Kid:
   Some kinda switch?
   Bugger!
   So close and yet so far...


Serge:
   I guess that means we have
   to get over to that other
   door...unless one of you has
   some rope.

Kid:
   Rope! Bugger! I KNEW I'd
   forgotten something! Some
   thief I am.

Serge:
   (She's a thief?! But she's
   ...kinda cute.)

[Eventually, they find their way to the ground
level in the same room and adjust the crystal /
switch, then take the teleporter up to the entrance
to the top level, which leaves them on a balcony,
facing a set of big double doors.]

Kid:
   Oi!
   What the bloody hell
   just happened?

Kid:
   What are we
   doin' out here?

Kid:
   Wooooow! Bugger...!!!
   We're so high up!
   Is this thing floatin'!?

{Member}
   Did it feel like your
   body passed through
   the floor just now?

Kid:
   This sure is
   some fort...
   Eh, Serge?


Serge:
   It's...kinda freaky...
   (What the heck am I doing
   here?!)

Kid:
   You alright, mate?
   You've been actin'
   all weird.
   Who knows what's up
   ahead, so just stay
   on yer toes, eh!?


Serge:
   Um...yeah. (Actually,
   I feel kinda weird. No,
   scratch that--really weird.
   All this sweat pouring off
   me. It's like that big door
   is the scariest thing in the
   world, but it's just a DOOR...)

[FMV:Kid's stabbing]
[Serge wakes up in Arni]

Katie Skyye

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2009, 10:53:22 pm »

Serge:
   Um...yeah. (Actually,
   I feel kinda weird. No,
   scratch that--really weird.
   All this sweat pouring off
   me. It's like that big door
   is the scariest thing in the
   world, but it's just a DOOR...
)


Dunno why, but that line is hilarious. I like that line.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2009, 09:50:50 pm »
My version of Serge would probably flip out completely playing through
the Sealed Cave in Final Fantasy IV. All those vicious doors...



2. Arni Village - Where the tides start to turn...

Max recruits: Serge only.
Recruitable: None. (Poshul has been removed.)

There's a lot of strictly optional dialog with people like Marge,
Leena, and Radius in this section.  For the time being, I'm ignoring
it all and dealing only with the main-line plot.

==========================================================
Serge's House, Arni (Home)
==========================================================

 [Marge]
   Serge......

 [Marge]
   Good morning, Serge!

 [Marge]
   Come on, sleepy head!
   Get up!

Serge:
   Ugh. (I feel like I didn't
   sleep at all. Still, I suppose
   I should get up--I did promise
   Leena...)


[There are a bunch of system messages here that I'm not
going to interfere with.]

========================================================

[Downstairs...]

Marge:
   Good morning,
   Serge.
   You're finally up.
   The sun's already
   reached high noon.

Serge:
   NOON!? (Ulp! Leena's going
   to kill me!)

Marge:
   By the way, didn't you
   have plans to meet with
   Leena this morning?

Serge:
   Um, yeah. (Wait, don't
   tell me...)

Marge:
   Leena came by to see if
   you were up, but you,
   young man, were still
   off in never-never land.

Serge:
   (I knew it--I'm toast.)

Marge:
   You shouldn't break
   promises like that.
   Girls can be pretty scary
   if you make them angry!

Serge:
   (And Leena's scarier than
   most...)

[Serge leaves the hut.]

==========================================================
Pier, Arni (Home)
==========================================================

[Kid]
   Yippieee!!!

[The boy goes bouncing into the water while Serge and
Leena watch.]

Leena:
   You're late, Serge.
   Sleeping in as usual,
   I suppose?
   You promised you'd go
   get some Komodo dragon
   scales for my necklace,
   remember?
   Since you were late,
   my mom asked me to
   baby-sit the kids!

Serge:
   I'm sorry, Leena. It's
   just that I had this
   nightmare, and, well...
   (Damn, it looks like the
   truth isn't going to work.)
   ...Never mind.

 [Kid]
   Whoo-hoo!
   Sergey, Leena,
   look at me!

   C'mon, you guys
   should join us!
   It feels really good!

Leena:
   Unlike the rest of
   you, we're not here
   to play!
   Don't swim out
   too far, now!
 
 [Kid]
   Ooookay!
   Gotcha!

Leena:
   Kids sure have
   it easy...
   Remember when we
   were like that?
   Not a single care
   or worry on our minds...
   How each day lasted
   an eternity, filled
   with newness, fun
   and excitement...
   
Serge:
   That was...a long time ago.
   (Like back before our dads
   both disappeared...)

Leena:
   But the important thing now
   is not our childhood but
   my Komodo-scale necklace!!!
   YES!
   We have to face up
   to reality and live
   each day anew!!!
   
Serge:
   (Here we go again...)

Leena:
   So, I want you to go
   to Lizard Rock and
   get some scales for me!
   I would join you, but
   I still have to watch
   the kids...
   It's your fault you were late!
   Once you collect some
   Komodo dragon scales,
   I'll catch up with you
   at Opassa Beach.
   
Serge:
   (To be fair, if she could
   come, she WOULD do some of
   the work--she's no slacker.
   But I really don't understand
   while all the girls are so
   crazy over those silly scales.)

Leena:
   Is that OK with you, Serge?

   -->Sure, no problem!             |    -->Nah, forget it...
                                    |
Leena:                              | Leena:
   Good!                            |    EXCUSE ME!?
   That's what I                    |    What did you just say?
   wanted to hear!                  |    Hm? Serge!?
   OK, then!                        |    Think about it!
   Don't just stand around!         |    It's your fault for
   Go collect some scales           |    sleeping in, you know!
   at Lizard Rock.                  |    Seeing as how you let
   Let's see...                     |    me down, I'd say you
   I think 3 should be enough.      |    owe me a couple hundred
   Good luck, Serge!                |    of those scales!
   I'm counting on you!             |    Now go! Go to Lizard
                                    |    Rock and get some

Serge:                              |    scales for me!
   (I am such a sucker...but        |    I'll let you off easy this
   I like to see her smile.)        |    time with only 3 scales.
                                    |    I'm counting on you, Serge.
                                    |    Good luck, OK?

                                    |
                                    | Serge:
                                    |    (Urgh. Leena the Dragon strikes
                                    |    again! Well, I suppose I don't
                                    |    have a choice.)


Leena:
   Once you get the
   scales, wait for me
   at Opassa Beach.
   It's just a bit south
   of Lizard Rock.
   I'll come by as soon as
   I'm done baby-sitting!
   
Serge:
   I'll look forward to it.
   (As if I'd forget where to
   find Opassa...)





mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2009, 11:27:22 pm »
Serge:
   (To be fair, if she could
   come, she WOULD do some of
   the work--she's no slacker.
   But I really don't understand
   while all the girls are so
   crazy over those silly scales.)
The wording there seems awkward...Is it "while all the girls..." or "why all the girls"?

Anyhow, this seems pretty solid. Heh, even with this small addition of lines Serge seems radically different--in a good way. So far everything seems okay, it looks like you're making Serge out to be a regular Joe, in terms of dialog. Keep at it; once there's more to read I'll offer [more] criticism.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2009, 07:42:55 am »
Oops... Yep, it's supposed to be "why".  Don't know how that managed to sneak through to this stage.

I've always thought that Serge should start out as just an ordinary guy, with his character changing and maturing over the course of the game--which isn't the sort of thing that's easy to put across with a "silent protagonist" dumb-show.

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2009, 06:41:37 pm »
It sounds really good! I like Serge's lines--mental and verbal.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2009, 08:24:02 pm »
Thanks.  If people keep encouraging me, I may even get around to tackling the remainder of the script.




3. Opassa Beach - A calling from beyond time...

Max recruits: Serge only.
Recruitable: None.
==========================================================
Opassa Beach (Home)
==========================================================

[Leena]
   There you are!

[She comes in from offscreen to stand
beside Serge.]

Leena:
   Sorry I'm late.
   I hope you didn't
   wait too long, Serge.
   

Serge:
   Just a few minutes--really,
   it isn't a big deal.
   
Leena:
   It sure has been a long time
   since we last came here...
   We used to come all the time.
   

Serge:
   (Before I almost drowned that
   time... She's right: that WAS
   a while ago. I don't think I've
   been back here since.)
   
Leena:
   Well? How'd it go?
   Did you get the
   Komodo dragon scales?
   

Serge:
   Well, there were a few monsters,
   but it wasn't really a big deal.

[He hands her the scales.]
   
Leena:
   Oh, they're beautiful!
   I'll be able to make a
   great necklace with these.

Leena:
   Thank you,
   Serge!
   

Serge:
   You're welcome. (Mostly. I
   still think she should have
   gotten them herself. I mean,
   I'm not really her boyfriend,
   despite what everyone thinks--
   it's just that we've known each
   other forever...)
   
Leena:
   The sea never changes,
   does it...?
   It's been rolling in and out,
   like this, since long before
   we were born.
   It's been here for eternity,
   it seems...
   It's probably seen many things...
   Heard many things...
   It'll probably keep rolling
   in and out, in and out,
   long after our lifetime...
   Without a single change...

Leena:
   Hey, Serge...
   Remember we used to
   sit and talk like this
   when we were kids?
   With the gentle sea
   breeze and the tranquil
   sound of the waves?
   Just the two of us...
   Talking...

Leena:
   Do you still remember that day?

   ~~~I don't remember              |    ~~~I remember
                                    |
Leena:                              | Leena:
   Oh...                            |    Really!?
   Then I guess you forgot          |    You do...?
   about the promise we made...     |

                                    | Serge:
Serge:                              |    Of course I do. (Actually, I
   Sorry. (Yeah, I remember that    |    have no idea what she's talking
   day--but the water's really the  |    about, but whatever. I don't
   only thing I remember about it.) |    want to disappoint her.)
                                    |
Leena:                              | Leena:
   Well, I guess it                 |    So, Serge, you
   can't be helped.                 |    haven't forgotten
   We were so young...              |    about the promise
   On top of that, you almost       |    we made that day!?
   drowned back then.               |    Hehee......
   It was a traumatic time for you. |    That makes me...
                                    |    happy.

Serge:                              |
   (Just a little bit, maybe,       | Serge:
   do you think?!                   |    (Ulp! I hope it wasn't)
   ...No, that's unfair. It was a   |     anything important!)
   while ago, and I guess I should  |
   have gotten over it by now.)     |


Leena:
   But aren't
   memories strange?
   Just when you think that
   you've forgotten about
   something, it comes floating
   back into your heart.
   I guess it's just lying
   there in wait.
   Waiting for that right
   moment...

Leena:
   Why, we might even
   remember this very
   moment someday!
   In 10, 20 years...when we're
   all grown up and married,
   and have kids of our own...
   
Serge:
   (Whoa! Married? KIDS?! Aren't
   you in a bit of a hurry here,
   Leena?)

Leena:
   Then one day...
   When that time comes,
   I wonder what kind of
   adults we'll be?
   What kind of life
   will I be leading...?

 [Leena]
   I wonder what to make of this day...?

   ~~~We'll forget it eventually    |    ~~~We'll never forget this day!
                                    |   
Leena:                              | Leena:
   Yeah......                       |    Yeah...
   I guess so......                 |    I hope you're right.
   But......                        |
   That would be                    |
   really sad...                    |
   wouldn't it?                     |

                                    |
Serge:                              |
   (I don't get it. "Sad"? It's     |
   just another ordinary day.)      |

Leena:
   Um, Serge...
   There's been something
   I've been wanting to...

 [Kid, across the dimensions]
   Serge......

[Serge looks around, puzzled by the mysterious voice.]

Serge:
   What the heck was that?!

Leena:
   What?
   What's wrong, Serge?

Leena:
   Serge?

Serge:
   What the...? This is....?!

[FMV: Serge's panther vision.]

[The world warps around Serge, and he faints.]

----------------------------------------------------------   
 [Opassa Beach (Another)
----------------------------------------------------------

[Old Man]
   What are you doing there,
   boy? It's dangerous
   to sleep out here.

[Serge wakes up on the beach to see an old man and a baby Komodo dragon near
him.]

Serge:
   Wha...?  What just happened?

[Old Man]
   You alright, boy?
   What on earth are you
   doing lying down, anyway?
   For a second there,
   I thought you might
   have been a dead body,
   washed ashore.

Serge:
   Urgh... No, but I think I'd feel
   better if I WERE dead. My head
   hurts.

[Serge gets up, and looks around for Leena.]

Serge:
   Leena? Are you there? Leena?
   Damnit, this isn't funny!

[Old Man]
   Huh? Leena...?
   You were the only one
   I saw when I got here.
   Are you a friend of
   Leena's?
   I believe she's in the
   village, babysitting.

Serge:
   (I don't believe it--she just
   abandoned me here?! Okay, so I
   got up a bit late, but I got her
   her stupid scales anyway, didn't
   I?! Why this, all of a sudden?)

[Old Man]
   Well, I'd best be on my way.
   Anyway, if you're looking for Leena,
   you should stop by the village.
   You know, you shouldn't
   be playing out here, boy.
   Wouldn't want anything to
   happen to you, now.


mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2009, 10:18:58 pm »
Ooh, very nice! This Serge is so enjoyable, and funny too. Even in these few lines, you did quite well in capturing the essence of a seventeen year-old seafaring kid. I already feel like he'll get hardened by all the upcoming tribulations he's going to face.

Keep at it!

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2009, 09:04:04 am »
Now you're starting to make me worry that I may not be able to make further sections of this thing live up to its early promise.  :lol: But I actually sat down last night and completed the Guile-as-Viper-Manor-Guide chapter (and started on Nikki's). I may even get as far as Guldove one of these days.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2009, 09:26:06 pm »
4. Arni Village - Nothing has changed but everything!

Max recruits: Serge only.
Recruitable: None.

=====================================================
Serge's House, Arni (Another)
=====================================================

[Young Man]
   Huh...?
   Who the...?
   What are you doing
   in my house?
   My house isn't a playground
   for you kids, alright?
   Go play outside.

Serge:
   YOUR house? Since when?
   Doesn't Marge live here?

[Young Man]
   Huh...?
   Who?
   Marge...?
   Who the heck's that?
   I've lived in this
   house for 5 years now.
   Sorry, that name
   doesn't ring a bell.

Serge:
   (What the hell is going on here?
   My mother just VANISHES in the
   time it takes me to get to
   Opassa and back? I wasn't
   unconscious THAT long, was I?)

====================================================
Pier, Arni (Another)
====================================================

Serge:
   Leena! Finally! Maybe
   you can help me make sense
   out of all this! Dumping me
   on the beach was a mean trick,
   by the way. Don't do it again,
   okay?

Leena:
   Who are you?
   Have we met somewhere
   before...?
   Are you from Termina?

Serge:
  (What the...? She doesn't
  recognize me either?)
  Leena, it's ME, Serge!

Leena:
   I'm sorry, but I don't
   know you--or anyone else
   named Serge, for that
   matter. Unless...

[Boy]
   HEEEY!
   Yeah, YOU!

   Don't be tryin' to
   pull any moves on
   our Leena, you jerk!

Leena:
   Don't be silly!
   Don't go swimming out
   too far now, you hear!?

 [Boy]
   Ooookay!
   Gotcha!

Leena:
   Kids...
   I guess kids
   will be kids...

Leena:
   Don't worry
   about them.

Serge:
   Damnit, Leena... How can you not
   know who I am? If this is a
   joke, it isn't funny!

Leena:
   I think that's my line, Serge...
   or whatever your name really is.

Leena:
   Hmmm...
   You know...
   You look a lot like
   the boy who used to
   live next door to me...

Leena:
   That boy...
   died......
   He drowned...
   when he was very young...
   This all happened 10 years ago.

Leena:
   Soon after, his
   mother passed
   away, too...
   I was still very young
   back then, so I don't
   remember too well, but
   my mom says his name was...

Leena:
   ...Serge...

Serge:
   I keep telling you, I'M
   Serge!

Leena:
   ......!?
   You're Serge!?
   Do you think sick jokes like
   this are funny?
   The boy is dead, don't you
   understand!?

Serge:
   ...I'm sorry.  I didn't mean
   to hurt your feelings, but
   I'm...really confused. I mean,
   I fainted on Opassa Beach a
   couple of hours ago, and now
   everyone in Arni says they don't
   know me, when I've lived here
   all my life! Even worse, now
   you're telling me that I'm
   d...d...DEAD! And that my Mom's
   dead too!

   Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know,
   but something is VERY wrong!

[Serge is waving his hands around in the air and
generally acting like a raving lunatic.]

Leena:
   Okay, okay, calm down. Sheesh,
   you're as bad as the little
   kids.

   ...Look, if you still don't
   believe me about Serge, why
   don't you go have a look at
   his grave? It's on Cape Howl.
   Then, when you've convinced
   yourself that you can't be
   Serge, come back here, and I'll
   help you ask around and see if
   we can find someone who knows
   who you really are, okay?

Serge:
   Um... Well, I guess it's
   somewhere to start. Thanks,
   Leena.
   (If I find that grave, I'll
   know for SURE that I'm crazy.
   And I don't even know which
   answer I'm hoping for!)

Leena:
   Don't mention it.

[Serge leaves, headed for Cape Howl.  As he exits, the camera
pans momentarily back to Leena.]

Leena:
   That boy--the real Serge...
   I guess I kinda liked him...
   If that boy were still
   alive today, I wonder
   what would've become of us?

mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2009, 11:41:07 pm »
What're you worrying for? Things are already on a nice track. Just look at Serge's growth when dealing with Leena: he goes from being a pissy kid, to someone almost actualized enough to consider himself insane. And that line "and I don't even know which answer I'm hoping for" is perfect for his situation--humorously cocky, yet fundamentally childish.

I think this is coming quite naturally for ya.

kid123

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2009, 05:24:39 am »
I agree with mav.Nothing to be said here again.
The script afterward are self-considered as the hardest part because you need to write a good and plausible motive regarding
why he join Kid and gone through all those adventure afterward. If you manage to attain those requirement and keep the consistency along the script, you are officially my favorite writer.
Good luck !
« Last Edit: July 08, 2009, 08:35:42 am by kid123 »

anonymouse

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2009, 09:52:19 am »
Hey, good job giving Serge's character some depth. That was a really big problem for me when I played CC--being unable to get a look into the protagonist's head. I mean, hey, he's fallen through dimensions, met a bunch of dragons, and remains dumb as a log throughout it all. I couldn't get any sense of character growth, which was bad. Your Serge is really shaping up to be somebody likable and realistic, in contrast. Lookin' forward to more!

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2009, 08:56:53 pm »
Thanks for the encouragement, guys.



   5. Cape Howl - A reminder of one's former self...

   Max recruits: Serge only.
   Recruitable: Kid.

=================================================
Cape Howl (Another)
=================================================
[Serge examines the tombstone at the summit of Cape Howl]

[Tombstone]
   There's some writing
   on the tombstone.
 
   ~~~  R.I.P.  ~~~
   Our beloved Serge
   ~~ Died age 7 ~~

   ~  Nobody can take  ~
   anything away from him.
   ~Nor can anyone give~
   ~~anything to him.~~

   What came from the sea,
   has returned to the sea.

Serge:
   What the...?! It's...real?
   I'm...DEAD?!

 [Karsh]
   So you must be Serge...
   The ghost of the boy
   who died 10 years ago.

[Karsh walks up with the Idiot Brigade in tow]

Serge:
   I'm Serge, but I don't think
   I'm a ghost.

   (These people know who I am
   and were expecting to find me
   here? The more that happens,
   the less sense this all makes!)

Karsh:
   Whatever. If you're Serge, then
   you're the one General Viper's
   guest wants.
   
 [Solt/Peppor]
   But, Sir Karsh...
   Do you think it is truly true
   that this chap is a ghost?
   He seems like a perfectly
   perfect young boy to me...

Karsh:
   That doesn't matter!
   We found the boy here,
   just as '"he"' said we
   would, didn't we?

Karsh:
   Now seize him!

Serge:
   (Damnit, this keeps getting
   worse and worse! Now some
   GENERAL wants me?!)

[They approach Serge.]

[Kid]
   Hold yer sea horses!!!

[FMV: Kid's intro]

Serge:
   (Waitaminute! She's the one
   from my dream! The one I...
   Damnit, this doesn't make any
   sense EITHER.)

Karsh:
   Who the...?
   
Karsh:
   Outta the way, missy!
   You don't wanna get
   hurt, now, do you?
   
[Kid]
   Shut yer trap!
   You're the ones who'd
   betta get outta the way.
   
Dragoon:
   ...You have a problem!?
   Do you have a shakin' idea
   who you're dealing with, missy?
   
Karsh:
   That's enough!!!
   
Karsh:
   Listen up, junior!
   Our orders are to
   take you in.

Serge:
   I'm not going anywhere with you.
   If you meant me any good,
   you'd tell me what's going on!

Karsh:
   Really? Fine, then. I guess
   this axe o' mine will have
   to do the talkin'.

Girl:
   For cryin' out loud...
   Would ya just shut up
   and get on with it...!
   I'm gonna kick yer
   sorry arses so hard
   you'll kiss the moons!

Karsh:
   Fair enough...
   You leave us no choice.
   You'll regret this, missy!

[Combat is engaged. I'm not going to bother changing the
Idiot Brigade's element tutorial, so I'm snipping it.]

[When Karsh et al. lose]

Peppor:
   S-Sir Karsh!
   I say we shake it on outta
   here, so that we can live
   to fight another day!
   Th-These aren't no
   ordinary brats we're
   dealing with...!

Karsh:
   Damn cowards!

Karsh:
   As for you, missy...!
   We won't forget this!

Girl:
   Oooh, I'm sooo scaaared!
   I'll be happy to take
   you on, anytime!
   Think I'll lose to scum
   like you!? Hah!

Girl:
   You alright, mate?

Serge:
   Yeah, I think so--I mean,
   I'm confused, but I'm not
   hurt.

Girl:
   Serge...
   Your name's Serge,
   ain't it?

Serge:
   How did you know that?

Girl:
   Those idiots were just
   telling it to the whole
   island, mate!

Serge:
   Oh yeah, right. Um, what's
   your name?

Girl:
   Oh, me?
   My name's...

[Name screen]

Kid:
   Call me '"Kid."'
   Nice to meet ya.

Serge:
   Same here, but... Why did you
   save me? I mean, you don't
   know me from King Guardia!

Kid:
   I just couldn't stand by
   and watch those blokes
   gang up on you like that.
   They just pissed the
   bloody hell outta me.
   I wish I could've beat
   'em up some more!

Serge:
   (Great. She's the violent type,
   like Leena...but I thought she
   was a thief?)
   (No, stupid, that's from the
   dream. Try to focus.)

Kid:
   But why was that
   mob after ya?

Serge:
   I have no idea. I've never
   seen any of them before...
   but it fits right in with
   all the other freaky stuff
   that's been happening to
   me today.

Kid:
   Whaddaya mean you've never
   even met 'em before? Eh?
   Ahhh, forget it.

Kid:
   Hey, Serge....!
   How about you and me
   team up for a while?
   That Karsh fella ain't
   gonna just leave you alone,
   that's for sure!

Kid:
   And to tell ya the truth,
   I'm new to these islands...
   It's pretty lonely travelin'
   around here on me own.
   Hehehe...

Kid:
   So, how 'bout it,
   Serge?
   Perhaps it was fate
   that we would meet
   up like this!

   ~~~Travel together               |    ~~~Refuse...
                                    |
 
Serge:                             | Kid:
 
  (Well, I DO owe her for          |    Hang on!
 
  giving me a hand with            |
 
  those guys. And if I             | Kid:
 
  decide to go after them,         |    Are you tellin' me, you're gonna
 
  it would be nice to have         |    refuse the company of a lonely,
 
  some help.                       |    vulnerable, sweet little girl?
                                    |
 
  ...I just hope she doesn't       | Serge:
   get mad as easily as             |    (I can't tell her that I don't
   Leena.)                          |    want to get too close to her
                                    |    'cause I dreamed of killing her.)
 Kid:                               |    Hey, I don't know you, and
   Beauty, mate!                    |    judging from what you did to
   That decides it then!            |    these guys, it seems like you
   We're real good mates now!       |    can be pretty dangerous.
                                    |
Kid:                                | Kid:
   Anyways, it'll be                |    Sheesh, talk about yer back-
   gettin' dark soon.               |    handed compliments.
   I suggest we head to             |
   Arni and shack up                | Kid:
   for the night!                   |    I'll be headin' up north
                                    |    to a town called Termina.
 Kid:                               |
   Oh, and Serge.                   | Kid:
   Don't go tryin' any              |    It'll be gettin'
   funny stuff just                 |    dark pretty soon.
   coz I'm cute 'n all!             |    I suggest ya go find
                                    |    a place to shack up
 
Serge:                             |    for the night.
 
  (And if I tell her she isn't     |    Don't want ya to become
 
  THAT cute, she'll probably       |    Heckran bait, now.
 
  try to fillet me with that       |    Hehehe...
 
  knife of hers. Just like         |
 
  Leena. Why me?)                  | Kid:
                                    |    Well...
                                    |    See ya!

[muttermumble flippin' decision tree--I don't think there's any
need to give the player two chances to take/refuse Kid, since this
is for people who've already played through the original game...]



mav

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Re: Chrono Helix (script)
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2009, 10:20:43 pm »
[muttermumble flippin' decision tree--I don't think there's any
need to give the player two chances to take/refuse Kid, since this
is for people who've already played through the original game...]
I agree--turning Kid down once is enough.

I do have a couple suggestions/criticisms though...First off, Serge should be even more shocked that the tombstone was real--he needs to have that "I'm not in Kansas anymore" realization. Likewise maybe you should exploit the sexual tension between Serge and Kid a little more. I like that he's already comparing her to Leena, maybe his mind should take it a step further? Or maybe not...