RICK EPLXAINS THE ENTITIEZ

In late Summer 2003, RabidTurtle began some discussion on Chrono Trigger on OCR's General Discussion forum. RICK stepped in to explain the truth behind the Entity.

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LAVOS? HES LIKE A BIG GIANT GOOMBA WHO SPROUTS FROM THE GROUND AND SHOOTS 
SPORESAND POLLEN AND LOTS OF CRUD INTO THE AIR< CAUSING LOTS OF DEAD 
PEOPLE!!1 

ROBO< HES A ROBOT AND BECAME A FARMER< LIKE FARMER BROWN< I DONO IF FARMER 
BROWN LOOKED LIKE A ROBOT BUT ROBO SURE DUZ!!1 NEWAY< ROBO LIKE TURNED 
SUMTING DED INTO SUMTING ALIVE!11 HE PLANTED PLANTS AND TREEZ AND CRUD> SO 
MEBBE HE IZ THE TRU BADGUY!1 CUZ HE PLANTED LAVOS WHEN LAVOS WUTZ A YOUNG POD 
AND WATARED HIM EVERYDAY SO THAT LAVOS CUD GROW BIG AND STRONG> 

SO LIKE ROBO IZ A BAD GUY AND CRUD< BUT NO WAIT< HES A ROBOT AND ROBOTS 
AREN"T BAD RITE< CUZ LIKE HE DIDN"T PROGRAMME HIMSELF< LUCCA DID!1 SO THRU 
THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION AND CRUD< THAT MAKES LUCCA EV0L! 

HOLY CRAP< BUT SHES WIF THE GOOD GUYS THRUOUT THE GAME< RITE< SO MEBBE SHES 
NOT EV0L< IDONO> 

NOW I DONO WUT THE WERD "ENTITIE" MEANS< BUT IF I BREAK IT DOWN AND USE 
METACONITION< I DONO WUT THAT WERD MEANS BUT MY TEACHER SAID THAT ONE DAY IN 
CLASS< AND PRETEND THAT I AM A POLICEMAN< I CAN CUM UP WIF SUM CONCLUSIONS 
ABOUT THIS ENTITIE< WUTEVER THAT MEANS 

ENT- K< SO LIKE ENT< THAT'S LIKE CLOSE 2 ANT SO IT MUST BE SMALL AND BE ABLE 
2 LIFT 10 TIEMS ITS ONLY BODY WEIGHT!1 SO THIS ENTITIE MUST BE VARY STRONG 
IN SUMWAY RITE? 

-TIT- REPRESENTS A PART OF THE HUMAN ANATOMIE< ESPECIALLY GIRL ANATOMIE< SUM 
GIRLS HAVE LARGE TITS< WHICH I LIKE VARY MUCH 

-TIE - UM< TIE AS IN TIE THINGS 2GETHER< U NO? SO IF WE CAN LIKE TIE ONE 
THING 2 ANOTHAR THING< THEY WILL BE ONE THING< RITE?? 

SO LIKE< NOW THAT I BROKE DOWN THE WERD ENTITIE< WHICH I HAVE NO IDEAR WUT 
IT MEANS< ITS TIEM 2 PUT ON MY POLICEMAN UNIFORM>> 

OK< IMMA POLICEMAN 

SO LIKE I ENFORCE THE LAW< RITE? AND LIKE< THIS ENTITIE BREAKS THE LAW CUZ 
IT MAKES TIME TRAVEL GATES< RIGHT? AND THAT'S BREAKING SUM SORT OF LAWS< 
LIKE UM METAPHYSICAL LAWS AND CRUD< I DONO< BUT LIKE THE GATES ARE AGAINST 
THE LAW> 

NOW BECUZ I HAVE 3 CLUES 2 WERK WITH< I CAN FIGURE OUT WHO THE ENTITIE IZ!!1 

SO LIKE SUM1 SMALL THAT I NO WOULD BE MY FRAND JONNY< BUT JONNY IZN"T IN THE 
GAYME SO THAT REMOVES HIM FROM THE LIST OF SUSPECTS< HOWEVAR< WUT ABOUT 
LUCCA!1 SHES SMALL RITE? WELL MEBBE NOT BUT LETS PRETEND SHE IZ< SHE 
DEFINATLEY IZN"T FAT SO LIKE SHE CAN"T BE BIG AND CRUD> 

OK< MOVING ON< TIT< WELL LUCCA HAS TITS!!1 

OK NEXT WE HAVE TIE< SO LIKE WE ALRADY ESTABLISHED THAT LUCCA IZ EV0L< RITE? 
AND LIKE U REMEMBAR WHEN I SED THERE R TIES AND CRUD< WELL WUT IF WE TIE 
SUMTING GEWD 2 SUMTING BAD?? WE"D GET LUCCA IN THIS CASE< RITE? OF COURSE! 

SO 2 SOLVE THIS MYSTERIE< LUCCA IZ THE ENTITIE !!!11

Quod erat demonstrandum.

From: Features