Jeremy Parish and the Retronauts Fail (Again)

[ZeaLitY]

After wishing last time that KWhazit and I would die in a fire for making the Chrono Trigger Retranslation, Parish and the Retronauts guests recently honored the time-honored Chrono Trigger fanboy tradition of whining ad-nauseum about not getting to play as Crono in Chrono Cross, complete with inaccurate criticisms of dead Trigger protagonists and plot holes. There are some kudos, but it's brought full circle at the end with some fan mail that further wastes on Cross, with such inanities as "storywise there are only a few hints connecting it to Trigger" (well, aren't we illiterate?) I'm looking forward to damage control as people post "I heard Chrono Cross sucks, should I play it?" Except this time, instead of someone's lame brother telling them it sucked, it'll be the Retronauts. The failcast is here. A couple things stand out in the writeup:

PARISH: Not only because of the story issues, but also because its gameplay has practically nothing to do with Triggers: the combat system's only connection to that of the first game was the ability of a few characters to link their attacks.

TANAKA, 2002: To say the least, the titles we've worked on have been innovative, and I would like to continue this trend for our future projects. When creating a series, one method is to carry over a basic system, improving upon it as the series progresses, but our stance has been to create a completely new and different world from the ground up, and to restructure the former style.

Okay, so when Chrono Trigger breaks with Final Fantasy's gameplay in 1995 and offers a new system, it's GROUNDBREAKING COOL. But when Chrono Cross continues that innovative tradition and offers its own new system, it's NOT CHRONO. At the end of the article, Parish links to the GameFAQs Story FAQ, possibly the sloppiest FAQ ever hosted on that site and by far the most incoherent attempt to describe Cross's plot. But this crowns the writeup:

PARISH: Of course, Chrono Cross will remain unpopular no matter what...

Really? It's unpopular? Here's WRONG.png, resurrected for the main page after being absent since the last Chrono Trigger birthday:



Around 55:00, the Compendium is mentioned as an informative resource by Demiforce's buddy, although Parish chimes in to agree that we're "insane." Guess who wrote the Wikipedia articles on the Chrono series you cited six times in this podcast, Jeremy?

[KebreI]

The Radical Dreamers cover wasn't too bias. I love how they go on praising the story, game play, and music then just say "but it sucked" and move to the next topic.

[Magus22]

Around 55:00, the Compendium is mentioned as an informative resource by Demiforce's buddy, although Parish chimes in to agree that we're "insane." Guess who wrote the Wikipedia articles on the Chrono series you cited six times in this podcast, Jeremy?

heh... this right here = immediate win

This guy is an editor? Man, this guy has "ineptitude" written all over him. It is people like him I can't stand who have nothing but useless banter to ramble about. Great update ZeaLity.

[nightmare975]

*sighs*

They must praise Magnus or whatever his name is.

Also reminds me of the Chrono Crisis forums. Oh god how I have avoided that place hellhole...

[chez]

Awesome post, Zeality. I have a friend who listened to the podcast and starting bashing on both CT and CC "because the Retronauts are right! It's true!"   D:

I was beginning to like the guy too.

[V_Translanka]

Jeremy Parish's name sounds familiar, but wtf are "the Retronauts"...? >_>

[nightmare975]

Jeremy Parish's name sounds familiar, but wtf are "the Retronauts"...? >_>

I'm thinking he's apart of EGM, if so, I'm canceling.

[Vehek]

Jeremy Parish's name sounds familiar, but wtf are "the Retronauts"...? >_>

As it turns out, you've mentioned him before!
http://www.chronocompendium.com/Forums/index.php?topic=5485.0

He also wrote that 1up article about CTDS that also misunderstood the Retranslation.

[V_Translanka]

I asked about the other part, not Jeremy Parish, though...V_V

[Vehek]

Just, uh, jogging your memory then I guess.

On Retronauts:

1UP''s retro blog -- editors discuss classic games and classic systems, and how they relate to the current gaming scene. Reader participation via Skype is encouraged! Check out the site for information on upcoming podcasts.

   Retronauts is 1UP's self-described "podcast for old people," an hour-long weekly journey into gaming's storied past. Topics span the gamut from the golden age of the '80s arcade to finding historical context for current releases. The common thread that binds them all, however, is our love for games of every era, regardless of platform, bit count or origin.

[Arc Impulse]

Stay classy, Zeality.   

[V_Translanka]

Ah, so it's a 1up thing...why didn't someone just say that? V_V

Thanks.

Well no wonder...Chrono Cross isn't "retro" as far as I'm concerned...They can't know what they're talking about if they're stuck in the past like that.

[Romana]

Don't you just love how these people can NEVER address the fact Cross was meant to be a new game and new setting?

"tehy chang'd it now it sux"

They must praise Magnus or whatever his name is.

Also reminds me of the Chrono Crisis forums. Oh god how I have avoided that place hellhole...

MagusX1, I think.

Yeah, I can't say I have much faith in Crisis after the game's creator admits "I'm disregarding Cross because I didn't like it". The forums are generally just bad, they seem to play 'follow the leader' with anyone possessing a high post count and/or an aggressive attitude. While I was active there Cross was supported pretty well and we had some interesting threads discussing characters and such. Dunno what the hell happened to cause everyone to suddenly accuse it of being a terrible Chrono game. Oh wait, it was 1up.

[ZeaLitY]

God knows we'll probably hear a lot more stuff like this once Crimson Echoes is out. When you're dealing with people completely caught up in retro video game nostalgia, there is just no way whatsoever to please them. I'm really glad I didn't play Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross until 2002.

What really gets me is that the things they're citing -- Kato's involvement with Dreamers, Cross development decisions, the individual roles of developers in Chrono Trigger, etc. -- wouldn't be common knowledge if the Compendium hadn't centralized it for the last few years (and especially if I hadn't written a featured article for each game on Wikipedia). Without the Compendium, so so much would just be flat out unknown. It's becoming obvious just how much infrastructural support the Compendium's provided to the community through its archival function.

[Boo the Gentleman Caller]

Yeah, it's pretty sad.  It seems that there's always one person who goes the extra mile, and every one else just gets to ride on the "bandwagon" (or "tailcoat", or whatever else you want to call it).  I had lurked around the Compendium pretty much since it's beginning, and A LOT of my personal understanding of the Chronoverse EASILY comes from work undertaken here at the Compendium.  Eventually I decided to give something back and join up.

But yeah, the Compendium has done so much work - work that goes unnoticed (and then others get to take the credit for it, or at least quote it without giving due credit).  So is the price we pay for the things we love (which seems to be a law for this world).